Only One Option

Akihiro continued walking back home as tears rolled down his cheeks. His thoughts went haywire. There was no good solution to the problem.

He was completely lost.

As he walked, someone appeared in front of him. Grey eyes with a calm gaze, curly hair and a chiselled jawline, the man was Akihiro himself. He knew that it was his imagination. It was all in his head. Akihiro was talking to the past version of himself. Rather, he was talking to the rational side of himself.

“Look at how pathetic you’ve become...I can’t believe that you are me.” the rational version of Akihiro said.

“There’s nothing pathetic about expressing your emotions,” Akihiro said as he wiped the tears off his face.

“I don’t want to hear your excuses. You also know that there is no need to cry.”

“It’s not easy to choose. It’s complicated. I can’t just run away, leaving Ayane and the rest to be killed.”

“It is simple. You just keep complicating it.”

“If it was simple, I wouldn’t be feeling so divided right now!”

“Leave that woman, Akihiro. Come back to me. You don't make any sense right now. Being with that woman will get both of you killed.”

“I can’t just leave her and run!”

“There is no need for you to worry about her safety. Every human is selfish by nature. Your safety comes first.”

“If I were still you, maybe I could do that. But now if I did that, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. You’ll never understand it.”

“So then what are you gonna do? Stay here and get both of you killed? Commit suicide?”

“I don’t know…”

“Come back to me, Akihiro. You can escape and continue living somewhere else. Forget about them and run away. Isn’t that what Natsume also told you to do?”

“That isn’t an option anymore. I can’t ignore them.”

“You’ve become soft, Akihiro. To think that we are the same, it disgusts me. You’ve really become pathetic.”

“And I’m fine with that.”

“I hope you realise your foolishness and just escape from here.”

“That won’t ever happen. It isn’t foolishness, you just can’t understand it.”

“There’s one more option. You already know it. The worst decision you could make. I hope you refrain from choosing it.” the image of the rational version of Akihiro said as it faded into the thin air.

“The worst decision huh…” Akihiro’s tears had stopped flowing. “To me, it’s my only choice…”

----

Akihiro walked back home. As he entered the house, his father walked up to the doorway,

“Welcome back, Aki! Today’s dinner is going to be hambur-” Mr Kimura stopped mid-sentence as he noticed his son’s melancholic expression. “What happened?”

He had noticed the tear stains on Akihiro’s face. The way Akihiro entered the house, his facial expression, it all felt really odd to him.

“Nothing happened…” Akihiro muttered as he kept his shoes inside and went to the bathroom to wash his hands. His father decided not to press any further.

This was the first time that Akihiro looked so deeply sad and hurt. It was probably better if Akihiro himself came up to him and asked for help or advice.

Akihiro washed his hands and dried them as he came up to the dining table.

“Today’s dinner menu is Hamburger!” Mr Kimura said in a cheerful tone, trying to make his son feel better.

“One dish only on the menu as always, huh?” Akihiro asked as he smiled. It was a sad smile, like a small glimmer of joy in the ocean of pain.

Mr Kimura had never seen his son behave like that.

Akihiro had never smiled before. He had never expressed his sorrow either. In fact, Mr Kimura had never seen his son show any sort of emotion. But he knew Akihiro was changing. The past few weeks, Akihiro seemed to be enjoying life. Although Akihiro didn’t explicitly show it, his father could feel it.

But today something was really odd. Mr Kimura knew that something must have been bothering Akihiro but he refrained from asking. If Akihiro wouldn’t tell it by himself, then the only way he could help was by making the dinner as enjoyable as possible.

As they sat down to eat dinner, Akihiro asked. “How did you find me?”

“Why all of a sudden? You normally don’t ask much about it.” his dad replied.

“No specific reason. I just wanted to know.” Akihiro replied.

Mr Kimura agreed and began to tell the story. “I found you on the beach. You were in a weird looking box kind of structure which was split open. When your mother and I were going on our morning jog, we could hear you cry from inside that box.”

“Then?”

“It’s too cruel to leave a child alone at the beach. We couldn’t ignore your cries. Eventually, we ended up finding you in that box. You were a cute little baby, but your neck was wounded. Your mother panicked and called the police instead of the ambulance. Haha, anyways, the police said that it was a minor injury and it wasn’t a problem. You were then taken to the adoption facility and remained there for a few days. I thought that was it, but you were constantly on my mind. I couldn’t just forget you and move on with my life. A few days later, your mother insisted that we adopt you. She said that she wanted only you. I was glad she told me that. I felt the same too. When I saw you cry in her arms, it really made me feel happy. We rushed to the adoption facility and took you in. And ever since then, you’ve been with us. It’s a shame that your mother cannot be here with us today, she cannot see how big you’ve become, how much you’ve grown. Even if we weren’t the ones who gave birth to you, we are still your parents and we love you. I’m sure your mother would agree with me too.”

“Yea…” tears welled up in Akihiro’s eyes again.

“Wait, did I say something wrong? Why are you crying?” Mr Kimura asked as Akihiro wiped his tears off.

“Nothing happened. I’ll go to sleep now. Thanks, dad.” Akihiro said as he entered his room.

Mr Kimura just sat at the table, staring at the door which led to Akihiro’s room.

‘When was the last time you called me dad? You’ve changed so much. I wish your mother was here too. She would be so surprised to see you. I’m sure, just like me, she would be very happy too.’

----

Akihiro sat down at the table in his room and grabbed some pages to write on.

There was only one option for him.

He’ll probably never get to see Ayane again. By tomorrow, the two of them might never cross paths ever again.

‘Was today our last date? Is this really it? Is it all gonna end? Will I never see her again?’

Thinking of losing Ayane got him emotional again. Tears welled up in his eyes and streamed down his face again.

‘Why did it have to be like this? Why can’t I just live a normal life like everyone else?’

But how much ever he cried, he knew that there was only one option, only one choice to make, one path to follow. As tears fell from his eyes, dripping on the paper and wetting it, he began to write the letter.

All the memories began surfacing. The time Ayane helped him when he was sick, the time when he saved Ayane from drowning, her warm hugs, her beautiful eyes, everything began flashing past his eyes like a video on loop.

‘Ayane...Ayane…’

He had finished signing the letter, which was now wet with a few drops of his tears. He turned around and looked at himself in the mirror. His tears still overflowed. His imagination built the image of the past version of Akihiro in front of him again.

‘Tsk. Look at how pathetic you’ve become. You don’t have to make that choice. There are other options!’ the image of the past version of Akihiro said as it vanished into the thin air.

“Ah yea, I’ve become so pathetic…” Akihiro muttered as he felt his cheek which was wet with tears.

It was late. He began packing up as he grabbed the essential items required. He took a large sum of cash from his cupboard and placed it in his bag. It was his pocket money that he had saved up all these years as he never found anything to spend it on. As he placed his clothes into his bag, he heard something hit the window. Someone was throwing tiny rocks at the window.

He opened the window and looked out. A girl was standing on the road, waving at him.

“Ayane…?”