75. Harding vs Tyler V: Return to Normalcy

The young Harding pointed at herself.

“You want me,” she said to the group of gangsters gathered around her, “to lead your Party?”

Harding let out a snort, then broke into a deep belly laugh, only for her to drop her smile as she looked the group over.

“…geez…you’re not joking, are you?”

“Ma’am,” the man replied, “I’ve never told a joke in my life.”

“I believe you,” she smirked.

Harding turned around, looking out the window of the abandoned building to the baseball diamond behind her.

“…although I’m reluctant to leave my beloved town behind…” she finally spoke, “…there’s a lot more good I could do for the country with a platform as large as yours at my disposal. Plus, I’ve never been one to avoid taking the plunge and playing the big game…”

She nodded her head, then shot a big thumbs-up.

“Alrighty-tighty! You can count myself in! And with that out of the way…” she took out a notepad and started scribbling down a list of names. “…let’s get down to brass tacks. To start, I’m going to want you to gather up the best minds in America and bring them into our fold.”

She tore the paper off her pad, handing it to the gangster.

“Hmph,” the boss muttered, reading the names to himself, “this is quite the ambitious list you’ve got here.”

“Of course,” Harding shot a sly grin. “I’m quite the ambitious woman, after all.”

The next week, three of the greatest figures in American history stood in Harding’s office: [America’s Whiskey King] Andy Mellon, [The Roving Justice] Charlie Hughes, and fellow future President [The Great Humanitarian] Hera Hoover.

“Thank you for meeting with me on such short notice,” Harding began with a smile. “I know you’re all very busy people, so I’ll go ahead and get straight to the point.”

Harding pointed to each of them as she started to speak at breakneck speed.

“Mellon, I want you to get our local economy roaring up again. Hughes, I’m sending you to talk some sense into those quarrelling British and Japanese Executives before they drag America into yet another quagmire of a war. Hoover, I want you to organize a relief effort for the recent famine wreaking havoc across the nation. Any questions?”

The three exchanged confused glances with one another.

“Well…” Mellon finally spoke up, “how do you want us to do all this?”

“However you see fit! The reason I brought you here is because I value your keen minds, your resourcefulness, your industry, and above all else, your tenacity in spirit! Someone with as little capacity as myself would only get in the way of your success by giving you specific orders to follow.”

“That might be true,” Hughes butted in, “but won’t you be losing your share of the credit if you don’t give us any orders?”

“I most certainly will!” Harding laughed. “But I’m far more concerned about the tranquility of our country than my own success. History can do what it wishes with my name; the only thing I need to sleep at night is the knowledge that I’m doing what’s best for our nation.”

“I understand your sentiments,” Hoover interjected, “but don’t you have some revolutionary idea you want us to promote? Some dramatic experiments you want to try?”

“Friends, please!” Harding shook her head with a smile. “America’s present need is not revolution, but restoration! Not the dramatic, but the dispassionate! Not experiment, but equipoise!”

She slammed her hand on the desk, startling her visitors.

“What the country needs now more than anything…” she spoke as a bright light shined across her hand, “…is a return to normalcy!”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

“…and that,” Harding continued back in the present, “is how it all happened!”

“So what you’re telling me,” Tyler drawled as he continued dabbing at his bleeding chest, “is that you were simply selected out of the blue by the people with real power in your organization, and that’s how you obtained the success you have today?”

“Well, that’s certainly one way to put it,” Harding said with a laugh.

The two stood together in silence as Tyler delicately folded his handkerchief and stuck it back into his pocket.

“…I’ll be perfectly honest,” Tyler remarked. “I’ve been purposefully stalling our match here in order to catch my breath, as well as to devise some potential countermeasures for this truly vexing time-rewinding ability you possess.”

He glared at Harding.

“The fact that you let me get away with this for so long means you’re either a gullible fool…kindhearted to a fault…or…” he licked his lips, “…that you’re incapable of using your EP in quick succession.”

“Hey,” Harding replied with a smirk, “why can’t it be all three?”

“Why not indeed…” Tyler snarked, cracking at his wrists.

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Harding’s Flashback II. Warren Harding pushed quite a bit on having the strongest cabinet possible despite knowing that it would cause him to seem inadequate compared to them, with him saying things such as “I am really more anxious about the tranquility of our country than I am personal or party success”, and "I highly valued your keen mind, …one who has so little capacity as I know myself to possess...craves the association and cooperation of men of your knowledge and experience.”