Chapter 11:

Interlude: A Girl's Wish

Amaranthine: Dragon's Haven

Fish. They swim in the water, not through the air.

The sun shines, so there should be light. But there isn’t.

Not here. Not anywhere. It’s all dark. So dark that she couldn’t see. She felt the air. Moving her arms felt weird. She felt like she was swimming. This is what a fish felt like. Maybe not. They had fins, she had arms. If she had fins, it would be easy. Easy to get around. She had feet, so she could run. Not through the darkness. It was too thick. The sun should be shining, but it didn’t. It wasn’t being very nice. It wasn’t doing its job. How would she know when to sleep? She was sleepy. Sleepy and tired. It was too noisy to sleep. She couldn’t eat. Her stomach was upset. Any more movement and she would probably throw up.

She was in the dark. She never learned to count.

Everything was shaking. She didn’t like it. She complained. No one listened. There was a light that wasn’t the sun. It was smaller. It shined between the bars. Were they bars? She couldn’t tell. They were cold. It reminded her of her play pen back home. When was that? She didn’t know, she couldn’t remember. She tapped the bars with her hand. They shook. She hit it again. They shook. The flame got brighter.

Ripples. Ripples in the water. It was like a stone in the pond. She remembered doing that with her Dad. A pond back home. It was nice. It was last winter. The snow was white. She wanted to eat it, but she was told not to. It melted into water, so why couldn’t she? Her Dad was dumb. Even when she said that, he smiled. He was happy, but she wasn’t. She crossed her arms. She pouted, her cheeks swelling with air. Her dad apologized. He did that a lot with her Mom.

Her mom was there too, behind her dad. She smiled. They were supposed to be happy. She wasn’t.

Because they weren’t there anymore.

The bars bubbled.

She shook them.

She wasn’t happy.

She shook them.

The bars bent.

She shook them.

A space between the bars. It was small enough to crawl through. At night, when she couldn’t sleep, she snuck into her Mom and Dad’s bed. She slept there. In the morning, her Dad played with her. She was happy. She didn’t pout. But, not at night. The other kids said there were monsters under the bed. She would know, she checked. She crawled under the bed and looked. There weren’t any monsters. The other kids were scaredy cats. She wasn’t scared. She crawled through the space in the bars.

The flame got angry.

Fish swam, they didn’t fly.

She had arms, not fins. Not fins, but legs. She walked. Everything was dark.

The sun didn’t shine.

It was night.

It was night, but it wasn’t.

It was black, and it was white.

She walked.

It was a nice place.

It was a big place.

It was all white, everything else was black. It was foggy. It was like the mornings back home. She woke up and put her hands to the window. She drew herself, her Mom, and her Dad. Her Mom said it was good, but she knew it was bad. Her Mom smiled, she told a lie, but it was fine because her Mom smiled. She was happy. Her Dad wasn’t happy. It was fine, her Mom smiled. She smiled too.

She walked around. She didn’t know where she was going. It was too dark out. She didn’t have a light, not like Mr.Flame, not like the sun. Then, a light came. But, it wasn’t like Mr.Flame. He had a face. It wasn’t like her Dad or her Mom. He had two arms, two legs, and a face. He smiled.

“Hey, what’s your name?”

He asked her. She understood. He was a person!

“Lorelai!” She said her name.

He didn’t understand.

He ignored her.

That wasn’t nice.

She pouted.

“You can talk to me, you know?”

He said.

“What’s your name?” she asked.

He didn’t understand.

Her stomach growled.

She was hungry.

“I’m hungry,” she said.

Nothing. He stared back. He tilted his head. He ignored her.

No, he didn’t.

He took her hand.

It was warm. Not like Mr.Flame, but like her Mom and Dad.

She apologized. He wasn’t mean. He didn’t understand.

Time passed. She didn’t know how much. She was in a black box. A black box without bars. He said not to leave. He was nice, not mean like Mr.Flame, so she listened. She was a good girl, just like her Mom raised her. She didn’t want to be yelled at or hit. Not again. There were white things in the corner. She grabbed them. She stacked them. It was fun. She knocked them down, then stacked them again. They were hard, but not heavy.

He came back.

"Um, you ..." He said. "It's... cold out, you know, so..."

She wasn’t cold. She never got cold.

"You know what? I'll bring you some dinner. See what you like."

She was hungry. How long had she been hungry? She didn’t know.

Her mother made her breakfast, lunch and dinner. Then, she didn’t.

Mr. Nico was going to make food?

Her Mom made it better.

Her Dad didn’t cook.

He couldn’t. Her Mom made fun of him. It was funny, so she laughed. Her Dad didn’t.

“Don’t go running off. Stay right here in the shed.”

That’s all she did. She wanted to eat, she wanted to play. He ignored her. He was nice, but he ignored her. She pouted.

He turned around. He was leaving.

She didn’t want him to leave. She didn’t want to be alone.

“Are you mad?” She asked.

He wouldn’t understand. He never did.

“N-no! Not at all.”

He stuttered. He wasn’t lying, not like her Dad.

“I’m not mad. Honestly, I’m happy that you’re talking. You just freaked me out a bit, that’s all.”

She felt bad.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled.

“Why are kids so hard to deal with?”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m not talking about you," he said, lying.

Her Mom said the same thing. She said the same thing before she left.

"So, since you’re so talkative… what did you want to eat?”

She said nothing.

He was going to leave. He was going to leave just like her Dad, just like her Mom.

He left the blackness behind.

He didn’t listen, so she didn’t have to. She tried to be a good girl, and no one listened. So, she would be bad. She wouldn’t listen. She watched him leave, then she left. She couldn’t see. She walked in the dark. It had been a long night. She walked and walked and walked. The big place was covered in white. She walked up the steps, walked inside and got lost. She poked around like she always did. She couldn’t see, so she had to feel around. The sun wasn’t shining. It wasn’t doing its job. It was lazy. She wasn’t lazy. She grabbed the white and moved it. It wasn’t heavy.

She fell.

She was falling.

Where, when, or why, she didn’t know.

But she didn’t want to fall anymore.

So, she didn’t.

Fish, they swam in the water, not the air.

Birds flew, because they had wings.

She had arms.

But, she could swim, she couldn’t fly.

She swam in a water hole with her Mom and Dad in the summer, when it was hot. She remembered paddling her legs like a dog.

She moved her arms through the black. She heard a splash. She smiled. She was swimming. She swam. She wasn’t sure for how long, but she swam. If she spent too much time in the water, her Mom would get mad.

But her Mom wasn’t here anymore.

She used to smile. She used to say “Lorelai, come here!”

Her Mom wasn’t there anymore.

It was Lorelai’s fault.

She swam, but she was hungry.

She remembered after swimming, her Dad made fish. He bragged that he cooked it. He caught it. Her dad loved fishing.

She swam.

Time passed. She didn’t know how much, but time passed. She drifted through the black pond. She swam and swam. She wasn’t falling anymore. Everything was still black. She couldn’t see. When would the sun start shining again?

Light.

A sun.

A small sun.

Was it Mr. Flame?

If it was, she would run away.

Was it Mr. Nico?

If it was, she wanted to apologize.

She swam faster. She wanted to show him what she could do. Mr. Nico was nice, not like Mr. Flame.

The light got bigger the more she swam.

It was a big light. A light-shaped fish!

Not just one, but two!

She was hungry.