Chapter II: Death

The deeper I went, the sounds of the village grew fainter and fainter, until all there was was the wind and the calm rustling of the branches and leaves of the surrounding fauna.

Quietly stepping my way through the pathless maze of trees, bushes and undergrowth, I took care to watch the ground around me, knowing that the local hunters regularly laid out traps for game and wolves.

I used to like the taste of squirrels, rabbits, and deer. But now even the sight or scent of blood and meat makes me sick to my stomach with dread.

I fell to the ground and sat under a grand old oak tree, between its knotted, ancient roots. I curled up into a ball at its base, the tears that had been flowing on and off ever since I left the village now pouring out with no sign of stopping.

“Why m-me? W-why’d this have to h-happen to me?” The world would be a brighter place without me in it. Everyone’s lives would be easier if I weren’t around. I wept, hugging my knees to my chest as tightly as I could. With only the sound of the wind through the trees to answer me, my mind spiralled. It felt like my brain was slowly twisting and contorting inside my head.

RUSTLE. RUSTLE.

The sudden rustle of brush and snap of twigs fought their way through my cries to my ears. Slowly lifting my head, I found a rabbit staring right at me, standing on their hind legs, their head cocked to one side.

As we stared, through tears and flushed cheeks, a short smile appeared on my face. “W-where did you come from?” I asked, holding out my hand.

Slowly, the rabbit approached with slight trepidation, but once they reached me and sniffed my hand, they calmed and allowed me to stroke them. Each stroke calmed me as well.

I used to love it when my Mum stroked my hair. I thought for a moment; however, it only reminded me why I was in this forest in the first place.

With a sudden motion, the rabbit lifted their head and rose back to their hind legs. Scanning the forest and sniffing the air, they seemed to sense something.

Watching them, I wondered what they were doing before they darted beside me into the roots and into their burrow at the base of the oak tree. “Back to your burrow you go… I wonder what that feels like?” I spoke wistfully, longingly. However, I too now scanned the forest and the trees around me.

That rabbit was spooked by something. What was it?

Still searching, I found nothing immediately. But as my ears attuned, I thought I heard the sound of growling breaths ahead of me somewhere. Staring ahead, as the moonlight broke through the swaying branches, a shape shifted from behind some bushes ahead of me. Waiting for the light again, my heart sank as I wondered what it might have been.

But whatever it was did not wait for me to figure it out.

Breaking through the bushes with slow, purposeful steps, a giant wolf appeared before me. We stared at each other, and my brain went blank.

As we shared eye contact, the wolf stopped, watching me closely, their eyes occasionally breaking away to scan my surroundings before locking back on me.

They were not growling or snarling; their mouth was closed. All they did was watch. And all I could do was sit there, my hands gripping the ground and nearby tree roots, slipping on the moist moss, as sweat ran down my face and my anxiety rose.

What do I do? A stupid question; I knew this was a possibility when I walked out here. Not only that, I knew I was a target. The wolf must have been hunting that rabbit, but now they had come across a much more delectable aroma.

As my breaths quickened, the wolf picked up their approach, stepping ever so carefully. I pressed myself deeper against the tree, trying to get as far away as possible.

The wolf was at my feet. I braced for the worst, but all of a sudden they lowered their head, broke eye contact, and started sniffing the ground, then took a step, sniffing my feet, then my legs.

Do I transform? Do I disappear into the safety of the rabbit burrow? I thought, but my fear rooted me to the spot. Getting closer and closer, their nose travelled along my body, sniffing until it reached my face. I felt their hot breath sticking to my face, but as scared as I was, one question ran through my head.

What are they doing? I sensed no malice, no killing instinct, no bloodlust. Causing my confusion to rise to meet my fear. But before it could, the wolf stepped back, and as the pale white of the moon broke through the trees, the wolf before me transitioned from all fours to standing. Their thick grey-and-white fur vanished, leaving pale, naked skin that glowed in the moonlight.

Wide-eyed with disbelief, I followed from where the wolf’s head had been up to their now unmistakable human body, taking in every detail with a strange fervour, finding their presence and body completely captivating…

…Or rather, her body.

Her skin paler than the moon, legs long and slender, body lean and athletic. Her body naked as it was, my eyes danced around, not wanting to ogle. Although as I eyed further, scar after scar filled my vision, from toe to head, my mood swung from bashful embarrassment to fearful concern. Some were deep, some shallow; some long and some narrow, others broad and others short. Bite marks, scratches and slashes.

At last, lifting her arm to cover her body and breasts, all of a sudden, I became keenly aware of how much I was staring. “Watch where you look.” She chastised. “You wouldn’t want to get distracted, with a predator around now, would you?” She added, licking her lips theatrically.

“It’s not my f-fault you’re n-naked.” I protested, although I had failed to think before I spoke.

“I can’t exactly bring clothes with me as a wolf, can I?” She retorted logically, placing a hand on her hip. “You know exactly what I mean, don’t you?”

She was right; I did.

“With hair like that and eyes like voids.” She said, climbing in close to me and putting a hand to my cheek as she inspected me.

“What are you doing?” I asked in panic, once again trying to back away, pressing myself against the tree, slowly rising to my feet, my body getting flatter and flatter against it. But as I did, she followed, eyeing every part of my body, examining me, wondering what to try first.

“I’m just wondering if you taste as good as you smell. As a wolf, am I not allowed to indulge myself? Especially after catching such a beautiful snack,” she said with a sniff of my neck, tracing her nose up to my ear.

Wincing, I jolted my head away, but even I could not deny the racing of my heart. “P-please don’t hurt me,” I begged, my voice as conflicted as my feelings.

Yielding to my plea, the wolf placed her right hand against the oak tree beside me, making it clear who was in control. Out of fear, my eyes became fixed on her face, desperate to see a sign of mercy. As I stared, her face morphed through emotion after emotion. It was clear she was fighting something, but I could not be sure what.

Breathing deeply, the wolf focused back on me, her eyes somehow softer, calmer. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to hurt you. I may be a wolf, but I am no cannibal; I don’t eat humans or Beastkin. What’s your name? And what possesses such a feeble being to venture somewhere so dangerous?” Her voice had taken on a much calmer tone, almost worrisome, yet still with confident, fiendish, teasing undertones.

“I’m… M-my name is Raven.” I stammered at last, my cheeks still red from the wolf’s onslaught.

“Raven, that’s a nice name for such a cute bunny.” She said, grinning with a genuine kindness. “Well, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Luna.” She said before I could continue.

Wondering how to proceed, I could not help but be stirred by confusion at my own growing comfort with the predator before me.

I can talk to her. She’ll understand. We’re the same after all.

“I…” I started before a familiar voice bellowed through the forest.

“PHOENIX! PHOENIX, WHERE ARE YOU!?” The voice cried from behind.

In a panic, I tried to break free of Luna, but instead she pushed me back to the ground, hiding me in the roots of the oak tree before pressing her body against me, our bodies becoming one, as she craned her head to peek around the tree.

“Five of them. They’re a good hundred or so trees from us. Who’s Phoenix?” Luna asked, her eyes flipping from them to me as she spoke, her demeanour growing antagonistic and survivalistic as she took charge of the situation.

“T-that’s what they call me,” I replied, as flatly as I was able to muster, as my mind and body fell further into panic.

What should I do?

I don’t want to go back.

I can’t go back.

“PHOENIX! WHERE ARE YOU?” Another familiar voice cried.

“They’re closing,” Luna said, watching me squirm and tremble.

I was shaking from head to toe. Confused, Luna pushed away, only this time for me to reach out, pulling her in closer, burying my face in her chest, desperately trying to hide myself away.

“PHOENIX!” The first voice cried again.

Father? Why did you have to come for me? I despaired.

“Almost here,” Luna warned.

I also heard them now, stepping around us—all five of them.

Maybe in their own twisted way, they did care. They did love me. They did want me to be happy. Bringing my head out of Luna’s chest, but still embracing her tightly, I turned my head.

We were hidden from view thanks to the oak tree’s roots and some surrounding bushes. However, the orange glow of torches bounced off the trees around us, flickering, moving, and fading as each person wove in and out of the trees.

“Where is she?” Joe questioned with exasperation, making me realise he must have been the one who raised the alarm.

“PHOENIX! Your mother and I are worried sick!” My Father called, almost pleading.

Maybe it’ll be different this time.

Cautiously, I pushed Luna away. Noting this, she slowly shifted off of me, watching my every move with careful attention.

Starting to climb to my feet, above the bushes, I wondered what I was doing. Was I about to go back to them? I knew this would happen again, but where else was I supposed to go? As horrible and degrading as it was, it was home.

“What are you doing?” Luna asked, but I did not listen.

They were close enough now for even them to see us.

Watching my Father and the others approach, I opened my mouth to call. “I’m…”

“Richard. Maybe she got caught in one of the hunters’ traps?” A younger boy beside my Father spoke up.

I froze.

Before my Father had the breath to respond, another joined in. “Or maybe she was already sniffed out by a wolf?”

My body began to shake as my hand reached out for something, anything.

“No! No! No! She can’t have!” My Father denied, shouting at the other two men. “I’d already explained to her never to transform again, that she’d be hunted, that she’d make the whole village a target if she were caught.” My Father added. But I knew that tone; he thought he was being kind and understanding.

But…

I don’t want to be trapped anymore.

Seeing my reaching hand, Luna grabbed it without hesitation, holding it tightly, as my brain and body started to shut down.

“Raven?” Luna’s worried voice barely reached my ears. I was right next to her, but all I heard was muffled and dull, as if glass walls surrounded me.

Pulling on my arm, I slowly descended, turning towards her as I did.

Holding my shoulders, she brought me in close. “I don’t know who these people are, or what they are to you. But if you don’t want to go with them, then all you need to do is nod.” Her voice reminded me of how my Mother’s voice once felt: reassuring, stabilising, but Luna’s held a confidence and a predatory air deep within. Still, in that moment, despite my nature, I found it calming, almost comforting.

My eyes were on Luna, but my brain could barely process the images around me.

“…”

In the background, the men’s voices filled my ears again, and my body went numb. But before I gave out, falling onto Luna’s shoulder, I nodded my head, squeaking with fear, before my consciousness faded.

* * *

Luna’s Perspective

Raven fell onto me limply, nodding her head as she landed.

Before I had the chance even to be surprised by the girl’s lightness, I watched expectantly, a waggish, joyful smile painting itself across my face. Resting on me, Raven’s overwhelmed mind and body began to change, taking on a form in which she felt more at home.

In her human form, she had been a good head or two shorter than me, and her skin seemed to glow a pale pink. She did not come across as frail or weak, but her delicate nature was easy to see, worn all over her body. Her face was soft and round with a small button nose, and her mouth had a slight natural downturn.

But now, she got even smaller, her dress and shoes slipping from her body as she shrank. Her luscious, long, silky black hair shortened, but then began to sprout all over her body. Ears morphed from her head and now followed her hairline, long and floppy; they framed her now-rabbit facial features with a cute, defenceless innocence. On the underside, I was able to make out their pink inner linings.

Before long, she was small enough to rest her whole body in my lap. Lifting her, I carefully moved her flaccid, delicate body to be cradled in my arms.

“S-she really is just l-like me.” I blurted out quietly, a tear rolling down my cheek before landing on Raven’s body.

I had known it almost as soon as I laid eyes on her; even before that, I smelt her from across the forest: a scent so familiar, yet so much stronger than ever before, that of a rabbit.

Despite our opposing natures, an intense sense of companionship took root in my heart. I stared at the cold, ever-so-vulnerable soul that lay inanimate in my arms, someone like me and yet so different at the same time.

Is this love? Whether it was romantic, platonic, sexual, or even parental did not matter to me in that moment. All I knew was that this girl in my lap, who had put so much trust in me, was someone I wanted to protect.

This was the first time I had ever come across another person like me, another Beastkin. I did not know how to react. The whole time we talked, I let most of my body act on instinct, toying with my prey, using it as a mask, while inside I squealed with giddy joy and curiosity.

I can’t allow my instincts to overpower me. I thought as I stroked Raven’s small body with my eyes, looking her up and down.

“PHOENIX!”

Upon hearing the men’s shouts again, I was reminded that, for now at least, I would have to halt those thoughts. My teeth began to grate and grind as my attention turned elsewhere, quickly transitioning into my wolf form. Raven was lying still on the forest floor.

They’re all the same. I thought, grinding my teeth together, paying quick attention to the villager’s whereabouts before looking back down at Raven. What did they do to you? To force you out here? As far as I had seen, she had no physical wounds. At least she may have been spared from violence.

Picking her up in my jaws, I lay in wait behind the tree, steeling myself for what came next.

I just need to try to slip away unnoticed.

“We should just give up; we’re not going to find her in this light. We need Hugo to sniff her out.” The boy whispered to Joe.

“SILENCE!” Joe disciplined. “If I did that, we’d just scare her more, and I’m not certain what Hugo would do either.”

Now might be my best chance. I thought as I began to move towards the bushes. However, with Raven’s scent filling my nose and my growing panic, I failed to recognise one of the men circling the area until he ended up right in front of me.

Stopping, we held a stare. His ginger hair grew fiery with the wind. In the silence, his lips began to fall open and tremble; the scent of his fear and anger almost overpowered Raven’s, as his green eyes dilated, fixed on the rabbit in my teeth.

Shit!

My muscles tensed, as did his. Raising his torch and axe, he shouted.

“WOLF!”

As he shouted, his malice rippled through my bones.

Without a second thought, I darted into the bushes and sprinted deeper into the forest. As I ran, their shouts got quieter and quieter.

I’m sorry, Raven. I apologised as I stole her away from everything she knew.

…

…

…

With the moon high above, I slowly climbed a short hill deep within the forest, reaching a small cave overlooking the forest; a few villages were visible off in the distance; perhaps even Raven’s was among them.

Pacing into the murkiness of my den, I laid Raven’s still-limp rabbit body on some hay and leaves I'd collected, staring at her for a moment to confirm she was still breathing. Returning to human form, I gathered some dry, dead wood and leaves and placed them in the middle of the den. With some metal and rocks, I started a fire.

As sparks and embers formed, I nursed the fire to health, placing larger and larger sticks and logs on it as I went.

Satisfied, I sat back, watching the fire burn and basking in its warmth as it filled the den, before sighing deeply to myself, wondering what to do.

I sat quietly for a moment, only to get up to move again; however, before I could get too far.

“Squeak. Squeak.”

Looking over, I sprinted to Raven’s side. She was moving her small paws back and forth, and her head was shaking violently as she squeaked.

“A nightmare, maybe? She looks like she’s trying to run.” I noted, reaching over her body with my hand as slowly and as delicately as I could. I began to stroke her from her small black button nose, all the way to her tail. Her black, thick fur was now warm and toasty thanks to the fire. “Shhh, Shhh, Shh. It’s okay; nothing is going to hurt you here.” I spoke softly, getting in close to her lop ears, being careful not to touch them.

As I continued to caress Raven’s tiny body, she slowly calmed. Her squeaks grew quieter and less panicked, her body slowed and settled, and soon she was breathing with a normal rhythm again.

Smiling warmly, I gave her a few more calming strokes before letting her rest.

Turning away, I had to blink a few times to clear my eyes of a mist of pent-up feelings and repressed memories.

Heading to my den’s mouth, I morphed back into my wolf form before turning to look back at Raven for one last time.

Don’t worry. I’ll be back soon.

* * *