For the First Time

For sure, his first day as a disguised human was quite different from what Ytinamuh had imagined.

Because ending up completely naked after running into bandits wasn’t a very good start.

“Tsk, look at this fella. Besides looking rich, he’s so fucking handsome that it pisses me off. Guys, let’s make sure no woman wants to look at this prick again!”

Bad news was that using his godly powers to escape that unfortunate situation was out of the question, unless he wanted to risk Him discovering his little unauthorized adventure.

So, he just curled into a ball, and waited for the kicks, punches and spits to eventually stop, hoping not to end up too badly injured to be forced to return Up There.

“LEAVE THAT MAN ALONE, YOU PIECES OF SHIT!”

Someone appeared, defeating his aggressors with violent, precise movements of a spear that was almost twice her height.

His saviour was by no means the typical hero: short stature, dark, rebel curls framing a freckled face, and a frowning, exasperated expression that concealed a natural beauty.

For the first time in centuries, Ytinamuh’s heart beat a bit faster while Myra proceeded to insult him.

***

“OK, listen well, you idiot noble, ‘cause I’m not repeating it again.”

“Oh, no, I’m not a noble. I’m just…uhm…a completely innocent very human traveller who wants to explore the world and–”

“I don’t care. Our reports say we could be at the brink of war, and we need to be prepared. So I don’t have time to take care of a useless, airheaded fool that dresses in gold and jewels and walks unprotected. So unless you can fight–”

“I can!”

“HAH! You want me to believe that when you were being beaten to death without even defending yourself?”

“That’s just because I’m too strong, and I didn’t want to risk killing anyone.”

“Then prove it.”

For the fight, Myra picked her signature spear. Ytinamuh chose the simplest short sword he found around the camp.

He made sure to control his powers, just to use the 0,001% of it.

He easily won.

“...What’s your name, you dummy noble?”

Ytinamu couldn’t stop smiling after noticing that Myra’s affinity had increased a bit.

***

Because of his deep knowledge of human matters, soldiers often went to visit his immaculate small tent whenever they wanted to hear stories to pass time.

After a few days, he was finally summoned to Myra’s tent.

“Soldiers say that you are an erudite. Is that true?”

“Well, certainly I know quite a few things about humans–I mean, about us, so–”

“Can you read?”

“Eh? Well, yes.”

“And write?”

“Of course.”

“...Would you teach me?”

Ytinamuh smiled.

Just like when she was angry, Myra was also very beautiful when blushing in embarrassment.

***

Rumors of an upcoming confrontation between elves and humans for the territories of the Central Continent gained strength after summer.

In autumn, Myra’s unit was reassigned.

“Are you sure you want to stay with us?” Myra asked with suspicion. “Don’t you have anyone waiting for you? I dunno, like a tall, gorgeous, voluptuous wife or something?”

“I don’t.”

“Yeah, I guess you’ll have enough with all your lovers.” Myra snorted when Ytinamuh looked confused. “What, do you think I haven’t noticed you sneaking out of the camp every night?”

“B-But that’s just because I like to watch the stars and–” Ytinamuh blinked, tilting his head. “Wait, how do you know that? Do you happen to be watching me?”

Myra blushed violently.

“W-What? Of course not! It’s just a captain’s duty to watch over her unit. And don’t change the topic you fool: I asked a question. Are you staying or not?”

Ytinamuh smiled happily and nodded. Myra’s affinity increased another bit.

***

Winter hit particularly hard that year.

For the first time in centuries, Ytinamuh got sick.

Apparently, the fact that he didn’t experience cold like humans didn’t mean he was unaffected when being on Earth.

He had a rather high fever for a few days, and he felt so weakened that he was even unable to come back Up There.

Myra spent each day complaining about her being too busy to deal with a hassle like him.

But whenever Ytinamuh opened his eyes, she always happened to be there. And at night, she never left his side.

Enutrof almost killed him when he finally returned, because his god friend had needed to make up excuses to justify his absence.

But Ytinamuh couldn’t have felt happier.

***

The cold weather lasted more than ever that year, and elves decided to take full advantage of it.

They didn’t attack yet, but they scared away the animals to undermine the soldiers’ livelihood. They also convinced bears, elks and even monsters to attack soldiers when they went out to scavenge.

Also, aside from the casualties they suffered, Myra received a letter with more bad news.

Her mother’s sickness had worsened, and there was a high chance that she wouldn’t live to see the upcoming spring.

“Enut, are you sure I can’t talk to Htaed?”

“Yti...”

“But it’s not fair! This winter is being so deathly because the elves have gained Rehtaew favor with offerings!”

“Yti, drop it.”

“And it will just be a little favor! I’m sure she wouldn’t mind delaying a sick woman’s D day a little–”

“Ytinamuh, you are getting too involved. If you dare to break another Rule, I will stop covering for you, understood?”

Myra’s mother passed away the next week.

For the first time in centuries, when hearing Myra cry at the other side of the tent, Ytinamuh felt someone else's pain as if it was his own.

***

In spring, the unexpected happened.

The elves and human leaders decided to hold a summit to discuss a possible solution to avoid a confrontation that, up till then, was deemed unavoidable.

To Ytinamuh’s surprise, Myra was far from feeling happy about it.

“After all this time, now they want to talk?! Like HELL. If they dare to decide that there is no war, after everything we’ve lost, I will go to kill those pointy-ears myself.”

“You don’t actually mean that, do you? Because that doesn’t sound like a really wise plan.”

“Oh, really? Well, enlighten me, dummy noble, what other solutions do you propose?”

“You could try to pray to Him, or give Him offerings.”

“Tsk, prayers. You know who was a devoted believer? My mother. And look how she ended.”

“Well, but she was rather poor, wasn’t she? Maybe her offerings weren’t good enough.”

Ytinamuh didn’t realize how terrible his words were until he saw the color drained from Myra’s face.

His first argument with Myra ended up with him being kicked out of her tent, and threatened to be killed on the spot if he dared to approach her again.

***

“Hey, Evol.”

“Oh, Yti~! What a surprise! Let me guess: you are going to finally admit that you have the hots for Enut?”

“W-What?! No! Enutrof is just a friend.”

“Damn, there goes my chance to see two hotties like you make out. OK, so what did you want?”

***

Evol’s advice to win Myra back didn’t work too well.

She threw away all the flowers he brought her. She left all the fancy food he prepared for her untouched. She left all the presents he gave her unopened.

After days of trying without success, an idea finally popped into Ytinamuh's mind.

With his heart beating faster than ever, he entered Myra’s tent that night.

“What the hell?!” Myra blushed with a mix of embarrassment and anger after being caught in a pink, flowery night gown, “do you have a death wish or something, you foolish noble?”

“You wanted to visit your mother’s grave, right?” Ytinamuh offered his hand to Myra, who stared at him in utter shock. “I can take you there.”

Myra blinked before glaring at him.

“You have two seconds to move your drunken ass out of my tent before I kill you–!”

Ytinamuh approached Myra, grabbed her shoulders, and closed his eyes.

The next time he opened them, they were in Myra’s hometown: a small, little village on the coast.

“W-What the FUCK?!” Myra looked around, baffled. And then, she started to laugh. “Okay, I get it now. This is a dream! Well, I have nothing to lose then.”

Before Ytinamuh could even react, Myra tackled him on the ground, crawled on top of him, and grabbed his face in her hands to violently kiss him.

He really had to make a godly effort to softly push Myra, instead of surrendering to her passion.

“It’s not a dream, Myra. This is real.”

“Shut up, dummy-sexy-noble-of-my-imagination, and let me undress you now–”

“My real name is Ytinamuh. And I'm a god.”

Myra’s already large eyes became even larger.

And then, her ‘WHAT THE HELL?!’ scared all the night birds away.

***

“I don’t understand.” Myra said once they were back in their tent. “Why did you do that?”

“Because I didn’t mean to hurt you with my words, and I wanted to make you happy, even if it was for a bit.”

“No, I mean,” Myra gulped and stared at Ytinamuh with confusion, “if you really are a god, why are you wasting your time with me, instead of doing more important, godly stuff?”

“Because I love you.”

Myra’s cheeks acquired the color of her night gown.

“God or not,” she got close to him, placed her hands on his chest, and got on her tiptoes to snarl the next sentence against his lips, “you’re still a really insufferable, sexy dummy.”

Their mouths met again.

From that night onwards, Ytinamuh never stepped into his immaculate small tent again.

***

After the failed negotiations during the summit, war was officially declared, and all human units were asked to travel to Rosethorn.

“Namuh.”

“Mm?”

“If I asked you to fight with us, would you do it for me?” Ytinamuh’s heart missed a bit. He opened his eyes and looked at Myra, as they both lay on bed. She gulped and shook her head, averting her eyes. “Shit, sorry. That was uncalled for.”

“It’s okay.” Ytinamuh brushed a few curls from Myra’s face. “I’m really sorry for not being able to help, but if I do–”

“I know. I know. You can’t interfere, or you’ll be punished.” Myra exhaled a resigned sigh and offered then a playful smirk to him. “It’s a pity that all those times you make me call God’s name don’t count as prayers though.”

Ytinamuh rolled his eyes as Myra chuckled.

“Well, we can always try harder,” he followed along with the joke, but she could feel Myra was hurting inside. She had already lost dear comrades, and the situation was only going to get worse. He tightly hugged her. “I love you.”

He heard Myra gulp before she wrapped her arms around his back. “I love you too.”

***

The next morning, Ytinamuh woke up in an empty bed.

He was gathering his clothes to get dressed when a soldier stomped into the tent in a breathless, distressed state.

“Oh sweet God, here you are.” The soldier took a moment to recover his breath. “The elves have Myra, and are going to execute her.”

For the first time in centuries, Ytinamuh saw red.

***

He didn't recall too much what happened after that.

One minute he was half-naked in that tent. The next, he was covered in blood that wasn’t his, breathing laboredly in the remains of the destroyed elven camp that intended to kill the love of his life.

“I’m sorry.”

He turned around, deep relief and confusion battling inside him looking at Myra standing in front of him, shaking.

“Myra?” he took a step towards her. “I’m so glad you are okay–”

Myra suddenly dropped to her knees, crying uncontrollably.

“I’m so sorry, Namuh. I’m so sorry.”

Cold sweat drenched Ytinamuh when Myra’s superiors appeared from the closest trees, approaching Myra to congratulate her for her great strategy to use a god’s strength on their behalf.

For the very first time, Ytinamuh’s heart broke.

***

“...and finally, for the unforgivable action of using his powers to kill earthly creatures and meddle in their conflict, Ytinamuh will be struck off all his power and name; condemned to forever coexist with the creatures that caused his downfall in the most pitiful form; and banished from the Holy Abode for all the Eternity. Does anyone have something to say against this?”

There was an absolute majority agreeing with his punishment, Enutrof included.

Ytinamuh couldn’t even blame him, for his heart was devoid of any emotion.

***

“Noooo! Why are all my chickens on the rooftop again?! Dolly, Marge, Loreto, Greta, come down here!”

“My beautiful flowers! Why is there poop all over them?!”

“Where are my muffins?! I spent the entire night preparing them and he has eaten all of them?!”

“DAMN IMP!!!”

He laughed boisterously, hiding in the shadows.

At least, bothering those deceptive humans provided some kind of satisfaction to his empty heart.

***

He had just lain down, satisfied after a new day of mischief, when muffled sniffs reached his ears.

He tried to ignore them, but they didn’t stop.

He groaned and followed the sound, determined to shout at that creature ruining his morning nap.

His empty heart skipped a beat when he found the one whimpering.

Short stature, even for a kid. Wild, dark curls framing puffy cheeks covered in tears, struggling to climb out of a concealed monster trap she had fallen into.

He hesitated.

But eventually, he groaned in exasperation, and revealed his presence.

***

“For the thousandth time, leave me alone, you pest!”

“But I don’t know your name yet! Mine is Nona!”

“I didn’t ask, and like HELL if I’m gonna say my name to the first dumb, lost child I come across!”

“I wasn’t lost! It’s just part of my daily training as a Wish Bearer but that monster trap wasn’t here yesterday and–”

“I DON’T CARE! LEAVE ME ALONE!”

“But you saved me! We’re friends now!”

“No, we are NOT!”

“Can I call you Impy?”

“What the–no!”

“August?”

“What the hell, do I look like an old dude to you?!”

“Ah, I have it, I’ll call you Thorny! My mother always says that roses with a lot of thorns are the prettiest of all!”

“The hell, I am NOT pretty. I’m an imp!”

“But you saved me, so you are super pretty inside!”

Thorny humphed in exasperation.

But for the first time in centuries, his empty heart felt a bit of warmth.

* * *

Thorny had been floating in that endless, silent void for an amount of time he couldn’t determine when a familiar, vibrant voice said that name that once belonged to him, but that now sounded strange.

He turned towards the source of the sound, in time to see a bright portal starting to appear.

He smiled with a mix of resignation and anticipation.

Tsk, it seems like it’s not my time to retire yet.