Healing

“Oh Uisempuli, sweetheart…”

Am I… alive? Ui felt a moist cloth wiping her body. The water was cool, but not cold, and left a soothing sensation on her skin. She stretched her hand and grabbed the hand wiping her. She could tell from the touch who it was. “Adari…” Ui opened her eyes slowly. “Is Yula… alright?” She could feel her voice weakly escaping her throat.

“Yula’s been checking on you every day.”

Ui’s relief that Yula was fine didn’t last when she realized she had become an extra burden for her. “She… has? For days? How long have I been out?”

“Several days.” Adari’s face, a weak smile that looked like it could break into tears at any moment, hurt Ui more than the wounds from her battle. “You can’t be fighting young, strong Udari like that anymore…”

Ui looked around the room. The Udari leaflights, the clay, and the clothes felt like a completely different culture to her, and one that she didn’t belong in. “You’re right… I’ve lived among the Umans so long that I’ve forgotten about my age.” She reached towards Adari’s cloth and used it to wipe her own wounds. She placed it on her eyes and soaked the tears she could no longer contain. “What… happened at the port?”

“I had hoped things didn’t end up like they did…” Adari shared a tear of her own. “But my hope was stupid, wasn’t it, Uisempuli?”

“There’s nothing stupid…” Ui coughed from her own pain “...about having hope.” While Ui wanted to believe those words, and repeated them throughout her life, she felt dishonest saying them. “Why did I come here?” She tried to contain her tears with her hands and Adari’s cloth, but they only stopped after Adari grabbed her hand firmly.

“You came here because this is your home, Ui.” Adari’s smile felt like the last remaining beacon of light and color for Ui in that whole city.

“It’s… so hard to be in this city.” Ui closed her eyes, full of frustration. “How can I call this home if I can’t speak the language or be myself among its people?”

“Ui, you can speak the language.” Adari leaned over to hug Ui. “You can speak this land's language far better than we can. That… was the burden we forced you to carry.”

“Adari…” Ui’s pain was not only from the battle, but from every other wound she had endured during her time away. She felt like she was being torn apart by every encounter and memory she made throughout the island. She was flooded by the feelings of everyone she hurt, or everyone that could possibly be hurt because of her. “I can’t believe I did that… to Yula, and everyone else that got in my way.”

Adari looked around the room, where she still kept objects from Ui’s and Yula’s childhood. “When I raised you and Yula I always worried for her. She admired you so much that I feared she’d never find what she wanted for herself.” Adari smiled just like a mother would when reminiscing about her children. “She tried so hard to follow in your steps…”

“She picked the wrong person…” Ui's sadness was contrasted by the familiar colorful clay of Adari’s house, one of the prettiest in all of Aure. She didn’t feel deserving of its radiance.

“She didn’t. And even if she had, I’d still say I’m proud of how both of you turned out.”

Adari’s kindness pressed further into Ui’s deep pain. “Even me?”

“Ui,” Adari gripped Ui’s hand firmly. “You never let me be responsible for what happened to you. You didn’t let Yula, either.”

“I hoped she had forgotten about me. How stupid can I be?” Ui rolled her body to face away from Adari. “Adari I… hurt Yula.” She curled herself, gripping the soft Udari blanket she had used to sleep there, long ago.

“Nonsense. Yula’s body is stronger than yours.” Adari laughed, it was a joyful laugh that could be heard through walls and doors, and Ui couldn’t avoid that warmth completely. “It’s not common for us Udari to end up in a physical fight. We all learn to express ourselves honestly before it ends in violence. You had a fight that will be passed down for generations.”

Ui remembered every crack she caused in the pathstones, and the multigenerational layers of clay that rained on both of them. She then remembered what she had seen before losing herself in the rage that eventually led her there. “Why was the port empty when I got there?”

“We don’t know why, but the Umans suddenly retreated by orders of the Duke… and then we were left alone with the other foreigners.”

“The Duke?” His kindness towards her, and towards the Udari only made her feel worse.

“So in the end we had to fend for ourselves, and agreed to let the foreigners use it as a port for trade instead of fighting. In exchange for the minerals that we control, they traded food and other things we needed in Aure. Of course we helped everyone who lived there get a home here, or in Rurein. We even helped some go to the capital…” Adari grabbed both of Ui’s hands and caressed them lovingly. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here when you arrived, Ui. I heard the pain of the mountain too late, and Yula wasn’t enough to stop…” Adari broke into tears. “She couldn’t stop all the pain and wounds you carried, not by herself… But I hope we all can, together.”

Ui remembered the brothers of Rurein, and Fahbe from the north. The brothers had suffered because she tried to help, and the north suffered because she failed to. “Adari, what if I believe… that not all wounds can be healed?”

“Then you’d believe wrong.” Adari grabbed Ui’s shoulder. “You just haven’t lived long enough to understand.” Adari leaned over to hug Ui, gently, mindful of her wounds, but tightly and closely enough so that no part of Ui could escape her love.