Don't Be Our Guest

Inside the gloomy villains' castle, the great dining table in the room is set to perfection. Various drinks, glasses and pompous tableware were prepared with utmost care atop the huge table. At each end sits a person, seemingly radiating dignity and grace.

To the right, a tall woman sits on an ornate, black wooden chair, upholstered with only the best red quality fabric you can think of. The elaborate updo she wears instantly catches the eye. Her deep red hair is styled in such a complex way that a normal person could not even tell how it was done.

However, black ribbons seem to hold everything in place just fine as her red eyes examine her perfectly polished, long pointy nails. She wears a beautiful black ball gown, decorated with red hearts around her puffy sleeves and the skirt.

Behold. The Dark Queen Carbocalypse, Ruler of Carbohydrates.

Opposite to her, a smaller man with a neat yet full beard, dark green short hair and matching eyes has made himself comfortable on an intricate, white wooden chair cushioned with green leather.

He wears a white court uniform with golden seam details, a dark green spade medal decorates the left side of his chest. His white royal cape features an ermine collar, and a big deep green spade symbol shows on its back. The golden crown with green jewels set into it finishes his overall royal appearance.

Witness. The Dark King Glucodoom, Ruler of Sweets.

Just then, the unbelievable happens. Simultaneously, they start wolfing down the food in front of them like feral animals, simply stuffing it into their mouths with their bare hands. Carbocalypse almost aggressively chews on a whole salami pizza like a dog that hasn't eaten in days.

Carbocalypse: Raaahh! These humans! These horrible humans!! How dare they create food so incredibly delicious?! We can't... We can't stop eating!! Only because of them, We will never be able to achieve Our desired wasp waist!

To clarify, she isn't exactly fat. If anything, pretty slim. But... the second she bends over, a spare tire forms on her belly!

Carbocalypse: What did We do to deserve this?! Why does pizza have to be so delicious?!

While the queen hurriedly grabs another pizza, a mad king shoves handfuls of round candies right into his mouth on the other side of the table.

Glucodoom: Indeed. Indeed!! These candies taste so wonderful, but they made all of Our teeth fall out! They are going to pay for what they did to Us!

And for everyone who wonders about how the king can chew candy without teeth: He has removable dentures. Because they keep breaking due to his eating habits, this is already his seventh set!

As this incredibly vulgar process continues, the door to the dining hall is opened. A giant fried cheese ball and an oversized macaron with faces glance around the doorway.

Cheese ball monster: Uhm... Your Highnesses? May we enter?
Macaron monster: It's about that...

The royals turn around, piercing the two living snacks with their stares. The two underlings turn white as a sheet and immediately turn tail, but black tentacles emerge from behind and under them, gripping them tightly.

They thrash about, desperately trying to break free as the dark limbs grow longer, pushing them toward the two rulers. Carbocalypse grabs the frightened cheese ball and Glucodoom pulls the macaron closer with his hands.

Macaron monster: No, no, please don't! Please spare us!
Cheese ball monster: Right! We didn't know you were in the middle of dinner! We didn't meant to‐

They were not given the chance to finish the sentence.

Terrible crackling sounds overridden by painful screams echo throughout the room.

Then silence.

A candy watch passes by said chamber, the door closed now. It simply shakes its head, shrugs and moves on down the corridor.

Candy watch monster: ...Now that's what I call bad timing. Such a newbie mistake. They should have known better than crashing the royal dinner. Nobody survives that.

Inside the dining room again, the king and queen have gone back to a mannerly appearance, each using a serviette to wipe their mouths.

Carbocalypse: Mhm, mhm, quite exquisite, We must say.
Glucodoom: Very much so. But say, Our Love, should We really do that?
Carbocalypse: We do not exactly care too much about that. Since they all come from Our womb, We can do with them whatever We desire.
Glucodoom: Oh, that is true. So, shall We continue Our meal?
Carbocalypse: We shall. There is still pizza on this table and as long as that is the case, We will not stop feasting.

The vulgar dinner then continues as if nothing had ever disturbed them at all.

----------

Evelyn: What do you mean by that?

Back to where Evelyn, her companions and Colonel are, the conversation during their encounter goes on.

Colonel: Oh, please. Don't tell me you don't know where I'm pointing at.
Ume: ..."what I'm getting at"! Seriously, this HAS to be on purpose! That ticks me off so badly I almost wish I was a melee fighter to punch you!
Colonel: My, my, such temper. But you ladies don't seem to have any idea what the next step is.
Candy: Like we don't! We will defeat every single monster you throw at us, and then you!
Colonel: Then let's imagine you'd succeed with that, what then?
Candy: ...Uhm, what then? Everything is settled as soon as all of you are gone, right?

With a troubled expression now, Bee cuts into the conversation as well.

Bee: ...No, it isn't.
Candy: Huh? Why?!
Bee: Because all of this only ends when the Dark King and Queen were defeated.
Evelyn: Then we need to go there. Where are they?
Bee: That's exactly where the problem is. We don't know where.
Evelyn: What?!

With a triumphant smile now, Colonel elegantly jumps off the building in front of the heroine group, slowly stepping into their direction in a dramatic way as they back off.

Colonel: Precisely! Even if you were able to defeat me, you still have no way of winning as of now! Each time you defeat one of our kind, they will just create new ones and unleash them upon you!
Evelyn: Bee, is that true?!
Bee: I fear it is.

He casually takes his candy glass monocle from his face to look at them through it.

Colonel: But guess what? I'll give you a tiny hint. Just like this bee's home, we are situated in another realm.

A swift move - almost as if Colonel were teleporting - follows, placing himself directly in front of Evelyn. She steps back, appaled, but he only draws closer, so much that his face is only one inch away from hers now. Then, an eerie, grinning grimace shows from under his hood.

Colonel: Find us. I'm looking forward to that day.

Gertrud steps in between and tries swatting at him to protect Evelyn, but he leaves the spot just as fast as he previously occupied it. He reappears a few meters behind, then wraps himself into his cloak to vanish entirely.