Unwanted

Sophia shook her head, completely rejecting what happened. The strange tingle through her body wouldn’t stop. ‘This has to be wrong. What the King said was wrong. She wouldn’t pick me. She doesn’t care. If she was even real, she would never pick me! This doesn’t make any sense.’ It left her staring at the dazzling lights around her trying to wish it away.

There was no Saint currently in active duty for the kingdom. It had been more than twenty years since the previous one. Sophia couldn’t even remember them, they died shortly after the previous King passed away. After the long reign, it left a gap and it surprised many that there hadn’t been another Saint picked by the Goddess. But as something people forgot, the history Sophia read showed that the last few Saints were an irregular pattern with no gap. It was frequent in the past that years or decades would pass before the Goddess selected another. But it was always when the kingdom needed them.

‘What is the point of this? Is she upset at me? This being spiteful? I thought this was buried years ago.’ Enough of her recovered that she tried to swipe away the particles raining around her, but more just replaced them. It was just as the books described. “This can’t be happening. I can’t be the Saint. I don’t want to be!”

“Deny it as much as you wish, but the light of the Saint cannot be.”

“No…” She looked around at the multi-colored sparkles that still hung around her. As there hadn’t been a living Saint during her time, she never had seen what they looked like in person. But records and paintings often depicted them with an illumination that surrounded them. It had a few names: Euthemia's Veil, Dress of Light, Saint’s Cloak. The words might be different, but it was always conveyed as a rain shower of colors that drape the Saint. It was believed it was the manifestation of Euthemia, the mark of her chosen, at least as the Holy Radiant Church told it.

King Renald stood up, stepping down from the throne to meet Sophia directly. He took her in her entirety before speaking. “I knew Saint Herst very well. While he learned to control the Mantel, this light is unmistakable. When he wished to speak with authority, it would hang over him, almost obscuring his form.”

Sophia backed away. ‘I don’t want this! This isn’t real. It’s a cruel joke.’ She shook head more, fighting the reality that tried to hammer in the truth. “This can’t be real. It doesn’t make sense. It’s too much of a coincidence.”

“The Goddess is always listening to us. You spoke to her with your oath upon the relic. It should not be that surprising.”

“Then you tricked me! You knew this would happen!”

“We do not make the selection. If I could, why would I pick someone that presents a potential threat to the underpinning of everything the Saint is built upon? I intended to place a watch on you, but allow you to return to your studies. This completely changes all of our plans.”

It was hard for her to argue with that logic, since it was exactly her rationale. They shouldn’t want her. It made no sense. She didn’t want to be the Saint anymore than them. But now they were stuck with her. ‘What's wrong with that Goddess?’

Then she jerked away, finally absorbing everything the King said. “What do you mean you were planning to let me return? I can’t?”

“You are the Saint now. As the most important figure in the kingdom and a sacred chosen to the Church, you will have to remain in the castle under guard. The freedom you once knew will not be possible.”

“But I have a life, I have my books! I need my books!” She actually leaned in towards the King completely forgetting title and rank. Though she was the Saint now, that difference narrowed significantly now.

“I will send knights to pick up your belongings. But for your protection, you will need to remain here. And be provided training in magic, given our lack of talent, you are uniquely blessed now.”

Protection, magic, so many things were happening her mind couldn’t even stop spinning. She still tried to process that she had the powers of the Saint now. That just didn’t seem real to her. The Saint had all of the blessings gifted to her by the Goddess. The power to heal and form barriers, even wipe out plagues and purify the land. By the word of the Oracles and Church, the Saint was Euthemia’s will given form.

She looked around at her body. It didn’t seem different, if blessed by the Goddess, it still appeared to be her. “Magic. This doesn’t seem real. No one in the kingdom has magic, how am I supposed to learn it?”

“Saint Herst’s magic tutor still remains under our care. He cannot demonstrate, but he can work you through the lessons.”

She didn’t even know that Herst had a tutor. ‘There’s numerous books on Herst and his work. But none of them covered his personal life. So I guess I wouldn’t know about what he needed to learn. No one in the kingdom has magic, but the Saint. So I thought the Saints just knew things. The Church and Oracles made it out like imprinted divine revelations. But I just learn? Does that mean I can fail being a Saint? The people rely on and need the Saint! What do I do?’

Sophia looked around the chamber almost hoping for something to crack. The dream to fade or Cathie to pop out with a surprise. But she couldn’t deny it anymore. “How am I going to be the Saint?” She beat herself up internally again for speaking.

“It is not something you are born into. So we do not expect you to know how from the start. It will be slow. The Saint is a symbol of hope and morale in troubled times. The presence alone can be cure enough for people.”

She awkwardly nodded in agreement. The long absence had been felt. “Is that really something I can provide?”

“Of course. There will still be the matter of announcing you to the public, but that can wait. For now, I will have the knights take you to the Saint’s room. It is lightly furnished, but otherwise empty. It is maintained in preparation. For now just rest. Many unplanned events have transpired today. You will need time to absorb everything.”

“Y-Yes! I’m sorry, Your Majesty.”

“Unexpected as it was, you are not at fault. Take that at ease.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Guards!” he commanded clearly despite his age. The doors opened once more though no longer with the same inviting offer as before. “Please take Miss Sophia here to the Saint’s chamber.”

“Your Majesty?”

“You heard me. Speak of this to no one until I say.” They both immediately came to strict trained attention. A new vigor appeared in them that seemed to be missing. The King looked back down to Sophia. “They are my most trusted knights. You will be safe under their care.”

“Thank you, Your Majesty.” She held her position a little longer, uncertain of formality. He gave her a small glance to leave, after that he turned back to join his wife. She could only imagine what they had to plan for now. She was only causing them more trouble. Sophia suddenly grasped her head in silence realizing. ‘Can I even do my research anymore? What about my studies? My reading? My books! I need my books!’ Stealing a glance back at the King and Queen even as she was being pushed out she was not going to be able to ask about it.

Out into the halls of the castle, she stared aimlessly at the walls and passing windows. The capital below that seemed so far away now to her. The Academy couldn’t even be seen for this distance. All of her notes were still left in the lecture hall. Her peaceful day ended the moment class began.

“Miss Sophia?” She snapped too, to see a young knight looking over at her while they walked. A small scar came over his nose while blonde hair drew back. Once she saw his face clearly it was much softer than she imagined, not the hardened aged features of someone refined by battle. ‘He reminds me of the neighbor’s dog. Full of energy and eager.’

Being the King’s most loyal, she no doubt expected he had extensive training, but the knights didn’t go to war. What little she knew of them, they were highly skilled protectors, but stayed within the castle. The most fighting that they saw was if there was a monster attack while the King was being transported or an assassination attempt. Other soldiers and groups served as the tip of the kingdom’s spear in war and conflict.

The knight probably only knew the castle for much of his life. She could see a curiosity and innocence still holding a flame for him. To be so talented at an age, she could only imagine. But his politeness and formality was hard to be comfortable with. When she entered, they ignored her mostly. She was just a commoner. Now he seemed to know, even if it wasn’t overtly stated.

Sophia gripped her hands together in front. Ust. Hui. Feur. ‘How much am I allowed to say? They already know, right?’ The man’s eyes made it clear without words his question. “Y-Yes?”

“Are you truly the Saint?”

“Tolen, quiet. Someone might hear.”

“But Noan, you want to know too don’t you? What that’ll mean.”

Noan, the second knight in her escort, had more age in his face with some youthfulness starting to fade. He wasn’t graying yet that she could see, but appeared his senior, even if they were in the same position. They kept a far more strict hold on their body language than Tolen. It was an air of professionalism that felt more hammered in.

The two didn’t quite fight, but bickered back and forth no longer making the walk so awkward in silence. It gave her a spare moment from all of the questions and stress that suddenly found itself shoveled upon her. ‘I’m stuck in this drab looking castle. For the rest of my life? Herst lived here the whole time, I think. But Cathie, I need to see her and my books. Stupid uncaring Goddess. Stealing my books. Why is this happening to me… I just want to read!’

Before she realized it, they reached a simple looking door. The guards stopped making it clear they arrived. Sophia expected something a little more decorated or presenting for the Saint. It looked almost disguised in the castle. “This is the room?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Tolen moved, opening the door for her, but letting her step in first. It was as the King stated, furnished with a bed, table, two chairs and a closet. There was nothing else in the room. Not even a rug. A bare stone floor stretching to the walls trimmed in dark wood with a few simple lanterns adorning the walls. But there wasn’t even a hint of dirt or dust in the space. The attendants of the castle clearly gave it full attention even in its decades of disuse. With such a capricious Goddess, they always had to be ready.

Sophia looked back to the door seeing the two knights still standing outside. “We’ll remain here until personal guards have been assigned to you, Miss Sophia. If you need anything.”

“My books?”

“I believe there is a small shelf of books in the closet kept from the last Saint. I don’t think the attendants–” He couldn’t even finish before Sophia dashed off to the closet to confirm there to be treasure in the closet. “Miss Sophia?” They held outside the Saint’s room only until they heard a high pitch scream from the closet.

Tolen dashed in already, hand on sword, prepared to stop something that might have fallen or an unsuspecting leftover that trapped the new guest. But he had to stop in stunned confusion to see Sophia cuddling four books in her arms pressed close to her. Her soft emerald eyes were shining brighter than the Veil draped around her. The scream was in fact a squeal. “Miss…Sophia…?”

She smiled innocently back not even considering her situation or panic created. “They’re new books that I’ve never read before! The age, the love, I can tell Saint Herst really cared for these. What must be in them!”

“Yes…ma’am. If you are well. We’ll return to our watch.”

“Oh yes, very much! With this much to read I won’t need dinner!”

“I think the Head Maid will insist. By your leave.”

Sophia gave an absentminded nod to them already distracted by books. She brought them out to place carefully at the table. The vacant feeling of the room faded away to the opportunity before her. The lone window into the capital couldn’t tempt her. The revelation of the Saint, the burden to come and the trial that awaited could wait until tomorrow.

A roof of books could hold back the storms of tomorrow, for a time.