Chapter 11

Before stepping out in the rain-soaked streets, I spin around to see Cyra once more. Instead of beckoning me back, she points to the door, sealing my fate. Dia for her part does seem remorseful as she waves good-bye.

I pull the hood of my cloak over my head and resign myself to my fate. Yesterday sucked, but at least it wasn’t raining. If anyone is asking me, I still don’t think it’s necessary for me to run an errand right now. Was my opinion asked though, no, no it was not.

Maneuvering through the streets I stop in front of a small, easy-to-miss alleyway entrance next to one of the less popular gambling houses. I squeeze into the small space and walk with purpose. Since I stepped outside, the rain has died down to a drizzle so I want to get back indoors before it picks up again.

Remains of torn and tattered posters glued to the stone wall catch my attention. They’re so dirty and so weathered that they’re almost the same gray shade of the wall. Both have warnings about the Austere.

One reads in bold lettering, ‘WANTED. INFORMATION ON REBELS’. The other says, ‘PROTECT YOUR COUNTRY FROM THE SOUTHERN SPIES’. This one has a depiction of a man in a black faceless mask that covers everything but his eyes.

They’re the reason the color black is now banned. They appeared a few years ago in our country and started causing problems. Buring crops, killing nobles and royals, stealing information and giving it to the South.

But the most important thing is that my favorite dress is gathering dust in my closet right now, and I fully blame them. Annoyed, I stomp past the sign towards a smell I know quite well.

“Blue,” Kere offers in greeting at the entrance of her small shop.

I try not to scrunch up my nose as the stale scent of smoke from her pipe rises to greet me. It amazes me that this woman can smoke this stuff and still be alive at her age. Though I don’t actually know how old she is.

“Good evening Kere.”

To get away from the smoke, I step closer to her store’s display window. Inside, there are rows of feminine items, make-up, and tacky looking bags. Oh, and poison. Lots of it.

“Are you here for some more scents?”

“Nh. Can I have a pound of lilac?”

“I suppose.” Her drawn out answer lacks any interest in me or the purchase. In fact, it sounds like she’s doing me, the customer, a favor.

Kere walks to the back and returns with a satchel filled with lilac flowers. I pay her the cover charge of one silver. To avoid suspicion, we always pay her the full gold coin at the end of the week. A customer paying a gold coin for a satchel of lilac is apparently what prompted the first raid on this place.

Purchase now made, I make my way through the rest of the back-alley stores. Back here, you can buy almost anything. Magic tech, items from the south, banned books. Basically, everything that can land you in jail. Surprisingly, what isn’t illegal is poison. That’s what most of these stores have in their display window.

My hand reaches into my pocket and searches the inside of the satchel. Within the lining I can feel the bottle of liquid, but the weight feels a bit off. I’m so engrossed in making sure we didn’t get short changed that it doesn’t click that I’m back on the main street. I’t only after someone lightly taps my shoulder and I jump that I realize I’m surrounded by people.

“Sorry if I frighten you Blue.”

My guard that’s already up reinforces as I take in the man’s face trying to place him. If he’s a customer, I don’t remember ever seeing him.

“My name is Asher. We met a few times when I went to Sai’s academy two years ago. Asher Elorn.”

It clicks then. He was shorter the last time I saw him, but I remember. Above all, I recall he’s a noble.

“Right, Sir Elorn, it’s nice to see you again.” I put on my customer service smile and take a step back. “You’ve gotten taller.”

Asher blushes at my compliment. “Yeah, finally hit my growth spurt. So, I guess the rumors about you working here were true.”

My smile doesn’t break at the comment. Any time I visited Sai’s school, people would whisper about me and my job. I feel bad that Sai has to constantly face embarrassment and ridicule because of me. To make it easier on him, I stopped going.

“I’m surprised you recognize me,” I say attempting to direct the conversation away from where I work.

“Well, your blue hair is pretty unique. Besides, you still look pretty much the same.”

It isn’t an insult, I know that. But, being told that even after becoming an adult I look the same as you did at fifteen stings.

Clearing my throat, I ask, “Do you still live in Onryx? I was under the assumption that you would be living in the capital now.”

“Oh, yeah. I came here to visit my grandmother. Next week I’ll be going back to the capital. How’s Sai doing?”

As a noble, social decorum deems that I wait for him to end the conversation which he doesn’t seem to be in a rush to do that. But, as if the Divinities heard my prayers, rain pours down. The speed and strength make it hard to see, much less hold a conversation.

“The rain really picked up.” I’m one step away from yelling as I try to make myself audible over the rain.

“Yes it did.”

I think that Asher’s going to end the conversation like a normal person. But nope. Not him. “Sorry, what?” Whatever he said, I couldn’t hear it. So, I have no choice but to ask him to repeat himself.

“How’s Sai?”

“He’s fine.” I scream at him, but in this rain, it sounds like I’m conversing normally with him.

“I was sad when he left the academy, so I am pleased to hear he is doing alright.”

I take a breath, then another. Each second, I’m allowing my brain a moment to process his words. What? What?!

“Nh.” I keep my smile in place hiding the storm that is raging in my mind.

“And he was so smart. Shame.” Asher shakes his head wearing a suspiciously fake frown.

I’m not sure if the pounding in my head is the rain, or if I’m about to pop a blood vessel. Either way, it’s time to throw decorum out of this situation and leave.

“Well, my lunch break is about to be over, so I need to head back now. It was nice seeing you.” I turn to leave, but Asher cuts off my exit by stepping in front of me.

“Sorry.” Realizing that he’s invading my space, Asher takes a step back. “I was wondering what shop you work at.”

Is this guy serious right now? “Sorry, I’m not actually working as a pleasure worker here.”

I don’t wait for a response. Side stepping into the stream of people running to get out of the rain, I half walk, half run back to the shop.

“What happened?” Dia asks as she takes in my soaked form. After a certain point, there wasn’t much the cape could do for me.

“Rain.” I pretend that my soaked clothes are the reason for my ill temper and ask her to stay at the counter for a little longer so that I can dry off.

Dia agrees and I head to the bathroom to retrieve a towel. In my head, I’m already drafting up the letter I’m about to send Sai. It’s lengthy and consists of multiple arguments and questions. However, when I’m dried off and finally able to put pen to paper, my left hand that’s trembling from anger only manages a few words.

Get over here! NOW!

I send it off with a carrier and wait. When I see him, he’s dead meat.

As Sai kneels before me, I pace back and forth in the alley trying to steady myself.

“You lied. And then you just kept lying! You’ve lied every single day. For what, years?

“Blue.” Sai’s raspy voice at least sounds regretful, but I don’t want regretful. I want the truth.

“Where’d you go? You didn’t go to school, so what? Were you just staying home? I trusted you. When I got this job, I sat down with you and we made a promise. You promised to work hard and go to school while I earned enough for us to live. I trusted you Sai!” Angry tears threaten to slip out as my pitch rises an octave with each word in the final sentence.

“I got a part-time job.”

“Where?”

Sai goes silent causing me to nearly scream at him. He’s unbelievable. Even after being caught, he’s still trying to protect his perfectly curated lies.

“What? What now, huh?! The point of school was to get you into an internship at the military academy. You needed that internship Sai. We needed it!” I’m basically talking to myself since Sai isn’t saying much, but that doesn’t deter me. “What? Did you think of something better to do with your time since we’re apparently just moving on from the original plan?”

Sai opens his mouth a few times but after one or two words like I or sorry or just wanted, he stops talking. I hold my hands out asking him to give me something to help me understand, but he doesn’t continue.

As the silence extends between us, I hear light footsteps approaching us. I don’t say anything or even look at Rumi as he walks up behind me, my focus is still on Sai.

“He knew.” Sai points at Rumi behind me as he throws him under the horse.

Rumi mutters something under his breath about Sai being a spoiled brat, but that’s not my main concern right now.

“I didn’t ask about Rumi. I asked what your plan is now. Or did you drop out of school and think that you could just figure it out later?”

“No, I didn’t. I only ever had one plan.” Sai takes a deep breath and locks his gaze on mine. Determination and resignation are the only two emotions I can make out from his set expression. There’s no regret there at all. “I’m going to join the military when I turn twenty Blue.”

I step back after hearing his words. He could have punched me, and it would have done less damage. Sai stands up and reaches out for me, but I pull myself out of his reach.

“What? You’re asking me to…to send you off to die?” My voice cracks as I force the question from my throat.

“You wasted your childhood taking care of me Blue. I’m not going to let you waste the rest of your life on me.”

I stare into Sai brown eyes, but I don’t find the answers there. I don’t find my Sai. “Then I guess there’s nothing left for us to say. You have your ideas, and I have mine. We’ll see where they land us in five years.”

“Will you please listen to me Blue?” Sai pleads as he reaches out and grabs my wrist.

I advert my eyes and bite my bottom lip to keep me from saying anything I’ll regret. “I did. And if you want to join the military, then I’ll need to earn even more money to help you.”

“No! I don’t want anymore money. I don’t want you to work here at all. I want—”

“We all want things Sai. And now, I want to give you the best chance at survival in the military. That means buying you a title, a post, and bribe gifts to the officers at your base. All of it.

“And if I have to work myself to the bone, I’ll do it. If I have to sign a contract and become a sex worker, fine. Even if I have to do the unthinkable and have a daughter just so I sell her to save you, I’ll do it.”

I can feel water dropping on the top of my head. I’m not sure if it’s raining again or if it’s Sai.

“Please look at me Blue.”

My heart clenches at Sai’s desperate tone, but I can’t look at him. I don’t even want to look at myself.

“I have to go back to work. Go home.” I pull away from Sai and walk down the alley towards my shop. Recalling something, I stop, but don’t turn around to face Sai as I say, “make sure you don’t stay up too late.”

The lack of footsteps trailing after me as I leave tells me that Sai isn’t following. It also means that Rumi stayed behind with Sai. Good. He needs some type of adult to confide. Apparently, I’m not to be trusted.

When I make it to the front door, thunder loud enough to shake the glass roars in the sky. Guess the storms not clearing up anytime soon