A Satisfying Ass Kicking

I decided cooperation was still the best strategy. “We came from the forest south of here.”

“Which forest?” Ceara asked.

“Near Harrowford.”

Waki answered before I could continue. “The northern settlement.”

Ceara looked at her. “The permanent one?”

Waki looked away at that. Ceara returned to the table and climbed onto a stool beside it. A map of the region had been spread across the wood. “There is no report of humans in that settlement.”

“I'm not from there.”

“Then why are you with them?” she said as she pointed at Waki.

“Nullborn,” I answered. “I was captured by the Church. The feathered elf’s tribe attacked the convoy. Things became complicated after that.”

Ceara rolled her eyes. “Convenient. You expect me—”

“Ah!” Nimiwa suddenly leaned forward. “Stonehorn?” Everyone looked at her. Nimiwa pointed toward Ceara's legs, then the horns, apparently deciding this was an appropriate time for research.

Ceara stared at her, unamused. Nimiwa looked toward Waki and asked something in Elvish. “Not now,” Waki said. Nimiwa frowned and looked down.

Ceara looked back at me and cleared her throat. “You expect me to believe the Church transported a Nullborn into the forest, elves rescued him, you all began cooperating, and the three of you happened to walk north into our reconnaissance area?”

“When you put it together like that, it does sound bad.”

“It sounds like something a spy would invent.”

“Then apparently I’m a terrible spy.” Waki gave me a warning look.

Ceara tapped the map. “How many Imperial soldiers entered the forest?”

I shook my head. “I don't know. When we fled it looked like two or three units.”

“Where are they now?”

I shook my head again. “I don't know.”

“Who commands them?”

I shrugged. Ceara was becoming more and more annoyed with every answer. “You know remarkably little for someone who knows where to go when they want to ask to meet the most protected person in these mountains.”

Waki leaned forward. “The Imperial Order pushed through the southern part of the forest. Your general stopped them here.” She pointed toward Dozorhold. “At least that is what we heard.”

“He stopped his problem,” Ceara replied.

“We were hoping he might be interested in ours,” I said.

Ceara looked at me for several seconds. Then at Waki. Then Nimiwa. Nimiwa had stopped listening and was looking around the room, trying to peek at anything she thought was interesting. Ceara did not seem to like that. “Search them again,” she said.

The soldiers exchanged looks. “We already did, Cap'n,” said the troll still blocking the door.

“I know.” Ceara beckoned towards the door. The troll banged it with the end of the club twice and more soldiers entered. Ceara stepped toward Waki. “Their search stopped where manners began.” She held out one hand. “Coat.”

Waki didn't move. Two soldiers stepped closer and Waki finally removed it slowly. Ceara searched the inside herself. When she found nothing, Ceara hooked a finger beneath each leather strap and pulled it away from Waki's chest, checking underneath. Next she signaled for her to stand. The soldiers grabbed her by the arms and lifted her to her feet. Ceara’s hands moved lower than the soldiers' had. Waki gritted her teeth when Ceara’s search went below the skirt and back up her legs.

When she was satisfied, Ceara put both hands on her hips and looked Waki up and down. Then her hands went to Waki's belt. A moment later, metal clicked against the stone floor. Ceara bent and picked up a short blade with a T-shaped handle. The orc who had searched Waki stared at it. “You missed one,” Ceara said to him. The orc's expression suggested this had become personal, while Waki looked pleased with herself. Ceara tossed the blade onto the table and asked, “Anything else?”

“No,” Waki responded.

Ceara stared at her. Waki stared back. Ceara searched one more time for good measure, then she moved to Nimiwa. Soldiers repeated the process and lifted her to her feet. As Ceara approached Nimiwa attempted to step back.

“No, you don't!" Ceara caught the edge of her poncho.

Nimiwa grabbed it with both hands and tried to free herself. The soldiers briefly struggled before they got her under control. “She doesn't understand what you're doing,” I said.

“She understands enough.” Ceara checked around Nimiwa's waist, then ran a finger along the top of the leg warmers. Her hands returned to Nimiwa's waist, then slipped beneath the poncho. Nimiwa stiffened when the search moved higher than the soldiers had dared, her face turning bright red. “Book already. No more,” she pleaded. Ceara released her. To Nimiwa, surrendering the dictionary should have exhausted anything worth confiscating.

I was searched again and was grateful that the man did not enjoy unnecessary touching.

Ceara returned to the table and we were once again placed on our knees. “Now, let’s stop wasting time.”

“We already told you why we're here,” I said.

“You told me a story.”

“It happens to be true.”

“Fine then.” Ceara looked toward the elves. “One elf leaves.” I didn't like where that was going. “Choose.”

The answer was obvious. “Her,” I said as I pointed with my chin.

Waki. She had five children waiting for her to return home. She was also fully capable of surviving alone, finding another route down the mountain, manipulating half the people she met and stabbing the other half.

That was exactly why I immediately pointed to Nimiwa.

Ceara looked at me then she pointed toward Waki. “Take her outside.”

I tried to stand but the brute behind me pushed me back down. “I pointed to Nimi.”

Ceara looked at Nimiwa. “I know. You chose very quickly.” She gestured. Two soldiers approached Nimiwa while another two moved toward Waki.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Finding out whether your story improves when something matters.”

“She barely speaks Human.”

“Then the other elf translates.”

Ceara began asking questions again. How many soldiers had entered the forest? Which roads did they use? How often did people from Harrowford trade with the north? I answered everything I knew, which continued to be disappointingly little.

Waki was less cooperative. She answered exactly what Ceara asked and nothing beyond it. Most of her attention seemed to be on the soldiers, the door and the sword hanging from the nearest guard.

Nimiwa understood even less. She kept looking between whoever was speaking and the map on the table, occasionally reacting when she recognized a word. When Waki spoke to her in Elvish trying to help, Ceara was not pleased she couldn’t understand what they were saying.

Eventually Ceara ran out of patience. “Put the little one on the table.”

A soldier took Nimiwa's arm. She pulled away. “Uri?”

“It will be ok, Nimi. Don’t touch her,” I warned.

Ceara didn't raise her voice. “Tell me what you're hiding.”

“We aren't hiding anything,” I answered.

The soldier tightened his grip and Nimiwa struggled harder. Waki shifted beside me. I saw her looking at the sword on the nearest guard. So did Ceara. “Don't,” she said.

Waki didn’t heed the warning and lunged. The room exploded in movement. Three soldiers hit Waki before she reached the sword. Someone forced her to the floor and drove a fist into her ribs.

The troll caught me from behind and locked both arms around mine.

Nimiwa panicked and screamed something in Elvish as a soldier continued to pull her away.

“Enough!” Ceara shouted at us. A sword came free beside Nimiwa. I wasn’t going to leave anything to chance. I twisted my right hand toward her as far as the troll's grip allowed. Blue light gathered around my hand and I fired. It missed everyone and struck the stone wall hard enough to scatter chips across the room.

For one very brief moment, everybody froze. Waki took the distraction as an opportunity and managed to break free. She drove one soldier into the table hard enough to scatter the maps, tore the sword from another man's belt and cut into his shoulder before someone clubbed her across the back of the head. It was exactly the same freakish brute strength I had seen Keme so casually use. A few punches later and her heroism ended.

At some point during the scuffle, Nimiwa tore loose from whoever was holding her and dropped beside the wounded soldier. Light gathered around her hands and the man frantically tried to crawl away backwards. Nimiwa grabbed him. “Stay!” The wound began to close.

I was face-down beneath the troll again. Waki had three soldiers pinning her arms and another across her legs. Nimiwa knelt beside the man she had just healed.

Ceara pointed at me. “Human. That wasn't from one of the Seven.” Then she looked at Waki. “And what the hell was that?” She looked at Nimiwa last and stepped toward her. Nimiwa looked confused. “You could have run,” Ceara said.

Nimiwa tilted her head. “Run? We leave?” Ceara pointed toward the wounded soldier. Nimiwa looked down at him. “He hurt.”

Ceara looked at her for a moment, then frowned and crossed her arms. “What god?” she asked in a softer voice.

Nimiwa understood that. “Hanwi.”

“Who?”

“Moon goddess. Hanwi. I am oracle of Tawa and Hanwi.” Ceara looked at the healed soldier, then pointed at me and Waki. “Same god?”

Nimiwa nodded, then shook her head as she tried to sort out the question. “Gods bless Uri. Kumakun bless Waki.”

Ceara rubbed her chin. “Hanwi. Tawa. Kumakun.” She approached Waki and planted a hoof between Waki's shoulder blades and forced her flat again. Waki winced, but stayed silent. “Injure another one of my men and this hoof will be shoved up the other end, so far that you will wish for death.”

Ceara made her way back toward me. “Same warning.” She grabbed my hair and pulled my head back until I could see her. “Three gods nobody here has heard of.”

“Glad to see they started teaching math earlier.”

She let go of my hair and I hit my head into the stone. “Bring them.”

“Bring who?”

“The gods.”

Waki immediately said, “No.”

I heard the clicks of her hooves approach Waki, followed by a heavy thud and Waki yelping. “I think we still need to learn our lesson,” I said. “We may have a better answer if you kick her again.” There was another thud. Waki said something in Elvish that was probably aimed at both of us.

Ceara clicked her way back towards me. “You want to meet the general? Bring your gods.”

“Why are you so desperate for them?”

“The Church has seven gods behind its armies. Seven sources of blessings they've spent generations building tactics around.” She glanced toward the soldiers around us. “Three more gods on our side means abilities they don't know how to counter and more ways to arm new recruits.”

“This general, is he a Red Mage?”

“Bring me something useful and maybe you can ask him yourself.”

Nimiwa had followed enough to understand what Ceara wanted. “God not weapon. Not trade. God sacred.”

Ceara studied her and her nose twitched as she considered what Nimiwa said. “Then convince them. I don't care how.”

“And if they say no?”

“Take Harrowford.”

I stared at her. “You mean scout it?”

“No.” Ceara smiled. “Take it.”

“The elves don’t want a human city.”

“We do. You have five days to take Harrowford. I'll send a squad south afterward. Do that, and I’ll have a reason to ask the general to see you.”

The soldiers eased their pressure slightly. I looked at Waki who had blood dripping down the side of her mouth. She looked entirely unimpressed with the whole situation. “What does taking Harrowford give us?” she asked.

Ceara went back to her chair and crossed one leg over the other. “The general has people asking him for soldiers from every side of these mountains.” Her eyes moved between us. “You came asking us to spend our people on your war.” She pointed south. “Bring us the gods, or spend yours on ours.”

“What if we refuse both?”

Ceara shrugged. “You go home.”

“That simple?”

“Yes.”

“And if we tell the Imperial Order where this camp is?”

The troll behind me shifted. “You wouldn't make it close enough to tell them.”

She gestured toward the door. The soldiers returned our belongings and Nimiwa hugged her dictionary against her chest. Waki immediately began redistributing knives across her body.

I looked at Ceara sitting smugly in her chair. The horns made the whole thing look worse. She caught me looking. “What?”

“Nothing.”

“Say it.”

“I prefer keeping my throat intact.”

“Then get the hell off my mountain.”

We were escorted back through the cave. Ceara came as far as the entrance but no farther. Behind her was half a dozen soldiers moving as one unified unit.

As we left Ceara said one final thing. “If Harrowford falls, hang red cloth from the tallest tower.”

“And then?”

“Someone will come.”

We walked in silence for several minutes as I processed what just transpired. I rubbed my face. “Next time,” I said, “we offer the gods first.”

Nimiwa hit me with her dictionary. I probably deserved another. I had five days to convince two elf tribes to capture a human town neither of them wanted anything to do with.