XXXIX - Because You Matter! [End of Arc III]

“HAKU!”

Her voice echoed through the snow-covered streets of Aenzia.

Several passersby turned to look at her, but Pan didn’t care.

She followed the road winding uphill through the city, but there was no sign of Haku anywhere.

The north gate came into view, and Pan stopped for a moment.

Did she leave the city?

Suddenly, she remembered the first time she had followed Haku, back in Garend:

Into a dark forest crawling with monsters.

She wouldn’t… would she?!

Pan hurried to the gate, where the night watchman remembered Haku.

“Yeah, she came through here. Looked pretty shaken up. Took that path toward the forest.”

Pan quickened her pace.

“Thanks, mm!”

She followed the path between the dark pines.

“HAKU! ARE YOU OUT HERE?!”

No answer.

The wind grew stronger, blowing fine crystals of snow into her face.

Pan rubbed at her eyes.

Please…

Once again, she imagined Haku standing in front of a monster, arms spread wide, ready to let it kill her.

Please, don’t try that again!

Eventually, the path split in two. The left fork continued uphill. To the right, a narrow trail disappeared between the trees.

Where’d she go?

Pan took the forest path.

A distant scream cut through the wind.

“AHHH!!!”

“Haku?!”

She charged between the trees.

Branches whipped against her shoulders as she ran through the underbrush until a wide pale expanse came into view.

A frozen lake.

On the far side, the forest climbed a small slope before gradually thinning out.

Beyond it came the distant roar of waves surging against the cliffs.

Could Haku be there?

Pan stepped onto the ice, which crunched faintly beneath her boot.

She hesitated, her gaze drifting to the path that curved all the way around the lake to the opposite shore.

I don’t have time for a detour! If I’m too late...

Pan didn’t finish the thought, and took another step onto the frozen lake.

Looks solid enough.

“HAKU! PLEASE COME BACK!” she shouted as she kept moving.

She had already crossed half the lake when a quiet crack sounded beneath her feet.

Pan froze.

“H-hm?”

A dark fracture shot across the ice.

CRRRACK!

The ground gave way beneath her.

“W-WAH!”

SPLASH!

Freezing water swallowed her whole.

The cold knocked the air from her lungs, and for several seconds she could do nothing but flail blindly through the darkness.

Instinct took over, and Pan kicked hard toward the surface.

I need to get up!

She slammed into something solid and scraped desperately across its smooth underside.

Above her was nothing but a milky-white sheet of ice.

W-where’s the opening?!

She twisted around until, a few yards away, she spotted a dark hole shimmering in the ice, pale moonlight spilling through it into the water.

There…!

Pan started toward it, but her waterlogged clothes and fur dragged at her body and made every movement feel sluggish.

After only a few strokes, her chest was already burning.

The cold sank deeper into her arms and legs, her fingers going numb.

I’m not going to make it…

She forced herself onward, reaching desperately toward the pale opening above her, but there was barely any strength left in her legs.

Pan fought to hold her breath, but her lungs finally gave out.

Her mouth opened involuntarily, freezing water rushing in at once.

Above her, the moonlight shining through the ice grew dimmer and more distant.

Haku…

Pan stopped fighting.

Her body stopped moving.

***

“PAN!”

Haku burst through the last of the branches, charging into the clearing.

The moment she saw the dark hole gaping in the middle of the frozen lake, she stopped dead.

Broken chunks of ice floated on the black water.

“Pan…?”

No answer.

She ran forward, but the instant she set one foot on the ice, a thin crack shot out from beneath her boot.

CRRK.

She froze.

“The ice won’t hold me if I run...”

Her jaw clenched.

“I need to spread my weight out!”

She dropped to her knees and began crawling forward with her body pressed low against the ice.

The frozen water groaned beneath her weight as she searched the pale surface for any sign of Pan.

Then she saw something.

A dark shape moving beneath her.

“Pan!”

The shadow twitched, only a few yards from the shattered opening.

“Pan! Can you hear me?! Follow my voice!”

...

Beneath the ice, something reached Pan through the water.

“...n!”

She heard it again. This time, it was more than just a sound.

“...AN!”

Distant and muffled, as though coming through layers of cloth.

But familiar.

Above her, distorted by water and ice, was a pale shape with silver hair glinting in the moonlight.

H-Haku…?

Pan gathered the last scrap of strength she had left.

I must... reach her!

The warmth in her stomach flickered to life again, weak and uneven, as she kicked with both legs and forced herself toward the opening.

Something was thrown into the water.

A long, dark strip of cloth.

Her fingers closed around the fabric, and it immediately pulled taut.

The opening rushed closer, her shoulder striking the edge.

Finally, her head broke through the surface.

“HAAAH...!”

Pan gasped for air, every breath burning in her lungs.

Haku lay flat on the ice, gripping the scarf with both hands.

“Pan! Grab my hand!” she shouted.

Pan raised one arm, but her fingers barely obeyed her anymore.

“I-I can’t…”

The ice beneath her broke away again, and she nearly lost her grip on the scarf.

But Haku caught her by the wrist.

With one hard pull, she dragged Pan upward until she was completely out of the water.

Pan lay panting on the ice, her breath steaming in the evening air.

“Haaah... hah...”

At once, Haku caught her beneath the arms, dragging her farther from the broken ice.

Only when they reached the snowy bank did Haku finally stop.

Pan rolled onto her side, freezing water dripping from the ends of her hair and fur.

“Pan! Look at me!”

Dropping beside her, Haku tore off her coat.

Before Pan could protest, it was wrapped tightly around her shoulders, both hands already rubbing up and down her arms.

“Can you move your fingers?”

Pan flexed her trembling fingers but they barely moved.

“A l-little...”

“Try to move. Come on.”

Haku pulled Pan’s arm over her shoulders and guided her away from the lake.

Each step sent cold water squelching inside Pan’s boots, her teeth chattering uncontrollably.

She saved me...

“We need to get you back to the city before hypothermia sets in.”

When Pan looked up at her, the panic had not quite left Haku’s face.

“Why... did you come back, mm?”

They stopped.

“What?”

“I’m not a Great Hero,” Pan said, tightening the coat around herself. “And there is no Demon Emperor either...”

Her voice began to shake.

“And after everything I did... after lying to you and using you just so I could get here...”

Pan looked her straight into the eyes.

“So why did you come?”

“Because you needed my help,” Haku replied without meeting her gaze.

Tears were gathering in her eyes.

“I didn’t care whether you were the Great Hero. I heard you scream, and I... my body simply reacted.”

Pan swallowed.

“Haku...”

She wiped at her eyes and took Pan by the arm again.

“Come on. You need to keep moving.”

They started walking once more, with only the crunch of snow around them.

“I don’t want to leave this world,” Haku finally admitted. “I want to stay with you. I want to keep traveling with you and Elda. I want to see Panwan. And I want to see what lies beyond it.”

A weak smile touched her lips, only to fade almost immediately.

“But how could I do that? If there is a world somewhere where people are suffering the way they did in the ones I’ve been to...”

Her grip around Pan tightened slightly.

“If thousands of people are dying… how can I simply stay here because this is what I want?”

Pan eased herself out of Haku’s grasp.

“So that’s what you think staying would mean? That it would be selfish?”

“What else would it mean?”

A frown pulled at Pan’s brow.

“There’s suffering and misery here too, even without a Demon King, mm.”

The monsters they had fought came back to her.

Mustels. Noonwraiths. Suidids.

Then Miri. Her father.

Her voice softened.

“You could make a difference here...”

“That’s not the same.”

Haku looked away.

“I’ve watched kingdoms burn, cities emptied, children turned into monsters, entire peoples wiped out…”

Her eyes found Pan again.

“One suffering country here can’t outweigh a whole world somewhere else…”

The wind whispered through the pines.

“Then what about one person?”

“What?”

“You kept telling me that every person matters. Every frightened child, every grieving father, every stranger on the street.”

Haku went still.

“So why are you the only one who doesn’t count, mm?!”

Pan stepped closer.

“You asked me whether any of it was real.”

Her eyes began to sting.

“It was. All of it. Every little moment meant something to me.”

A tear slipped down Pan’s cheek.

“And I think the other heroes you told me about... Arevan. Valannia. Frinna. I’m sure they felt the same!”

Haku’s breath caught.

“You always talk about how much they mattered to you.”

Pan reached out and took her hands.

“But did you ever stop to think that maybe you mattered just as much to them?”

Haku’s gaze fell to their clasped hands as Pan squeezed them gently.

“Not because you were the Swan Sword Saint.”

Pan’s voice broke.

“Not because you could help them defeat Demon Kings.”

Another violent shiver tore through Pan’s whole body.

“Just because you were Haku.”

The wind stirred the pines around them, and somewhere beyond the forest, the sea crashed against the cliffs.

“And that’s how it is for me too, mm.”

Pan squeezed her hands again.

“You matter to me, Haku...”

Haku lowered her head, wiping quickly at her cheeks.

“Enough,” she muttered.

“But...”

Suddenly, Haku pulled the coat more tightly around Pan, an arm wrapping around her.

“That’s not important right now. You’re freezing. We need to get you somewhere warm.”

Pan stared.

“Haku... does that mean...?”

Haku gave her a tired, fragile smile.

“It means we’re not finishing this conversation out here.”

The tension in Pan’s chest loosened.

“O-okay, mm...”

With Haku’s help, she turned back toward the distant city lights.

For a while, neither of them spoke.

Snow crunched softly beneath their boots as they made their way through the trees, Haku’s arm still firmly around Pan’s waist.

Pan glanced at her once, but Haku kept her eyes on the path ahead.

It still isn’t settled...

A soft smile appeared on Pan’s face.

But she’s still here.

And for now, I guess that’s enough.

***

They had barely left the forest behind when a deep note suddenly cut through the night.

BWOOOOOM.

Pan raised her head.

“What was that?”

Before Haku could answer, a second horn sounded.

BWOOOOOM.

The sound carried from the city.

A bright light flared above the distant rooftops, and within moments, the sky above Aenzia’s harbor was awash in a flickering orange glow.

“Is the city under attack, mm...?”

They hurried toward the north gate as quickly as Pan’s trembling legs would allow.

By the time they reached it, the city was already in an uproar.

Soldiers rushed past them toward the harbor, while anxious residents poured into the streets in coats and nightgowns.

They had barely reached the main street when someone came toward them.

“There you are!”

Elda emerged from the crowd, his coat hanging open, a forgotten cigarette slowly burning down between his fingers.

His eye widened when he saw Pan wrapped in Haku’s coat, water still dripping from the ends of her fur.

“What the blazes happened to you?”

“Later,” Haku urged. “We need to get her warm as quickly as possible.”

Elda took another look at her and swore under his breath.

“Our inn’s only a few streets away.”

Another horn blast rolled through the city and Pan glanced toward the orange glow above the harbor.

“But what’s happening, mm...?”

Elda’s expression hardened.

“Something’s coming from the ocean.”

“From the ocean?”

As they hurried toward their inn, the buildings briefly gave way to a high terrace overlooking the bay.

A huge crowd had already gathered along the stone railing.

Pan slowed when the harbor came into view, and beyond it, the ocean.

What’s that?

At first, there was nothing but darkness.

Then she saw the lights.

Hundreds of them, drifting across the black water.

More appeared with every passing moment, until the dark outlines of countless ships began to take shape along the horizon.

Pan’s breath caught.

“What...?”

Haku stared out across the bay and even Elda had lowered his cigarette.

“Whatever they are,” he murmured, “they’re not warships...”

Pan turned toward him.

“But where are they coming from?”

He pointed across the sea.

“They’re coming from the east.”

The eastern continent...

Pan shivered again.

This time, she wasn’t sure it was from the cold.