It was always you, just you

“So that’s why I never died.”

Grandmother’s letter made me feel many emotions at the same time. Knowing that her spell protected me from all the harm, back at Chronum, during the explosion it all made sense and it warmed my heart. She was always here, right here in my heart. Her letter gave me answers to things I always wondered about yet it also tore apart my heart and burned in flames. My aunt, a person lost from my memories, was the boss of the Black Obsidian. My own flesh and blood relative was a killer. Someone who wanted to kill me because of my powers that were passed on me.

“All the time I wondered what type of inhuman monster the boss, the culprit, the one who tried to frame me for the death of hundreds would be, but it turns out it’s my family again. Why? Why! Why is my family so tainted in the heart? Why? Why would she be so blinded with greed that she tried to kill her own mother and niece? Is that really what a family is supposed to be like? Is that what I am supposed to be like?”

I choked up. The pain in my heart tearing me apart from the inside making it harder to breathe, making me lose my mind. This is hell, the devils were sent down to earth, to slaughter and kill, to be related to me. Tell me, am I going to be a monster like that?

“Of course not! That’s not how it’s like. I promise you she isn’t your family. A family would never hurt each other like that! Never! She is not your family, she never was! Don’t you ever think that you will turn out like that, that could never happen! I am here now, I am your family and you are my family. That’s all that matters!” He tightened his arms around me resting his face on my shoulder.

“So don’t ever doubt that you are a bad person! Just because you are blood related doesn’t mean you are the same. You couldn’t choose the family you were born in. It was never your fault for what happened to the people. See? I knew it from the moment I saw you, you were innocent. A woman with a soft heart and eyes that brimmed with kindness, a woman that’s scared to hurt others and puts herself in danger to protect people she doesn’t even know, always caring for others and worrying so much that it leaves her in tears all the time. A woman so kind that it breaks my heart to see her cry! That’s who you are! That’s what defines you! Don’t forget that! I believe in that person you have shown me, I will always do!“ Teiran calmly said in a tenderly soothing voice and a gentle embrace.

“It’s alright I’ve got you, take all the time you need!” He told me while still holding onto me tightly from behind. I held onto his arms and tried to calm myself down. Slowly breathing in and exhaling. It was another panic attack. Everything that happened to me now made me so vulnerable that I ended up breaking down all the time. But no matter when it happened Teiran would always be there to console me. That’s right. The man I loved was always here. I noticed a long time ago that I harbored such feelings for him. I couldn’t deny it.

Whenever I felt like the world was breaking apart, when everyone doubted me and no one seemed to believe me, you did. Whenever I got nervous, whenever I longed for you and missed your voice, whenever I wanted to feel your soft gentle touch comforting me, it was because it was you, because I needed you the most, not anybody else.

Whenever I wanted to enjoy life it was always with you. My heart was already captured by your kindness, your deep blue eyes that could freeze the moment for eternity. I couldn’t change that. I felt this way for you for a very long time. The reason why my heart is still beating and alive, it’s all because of you. Because you kept on healing my broken parts patiently without forcing me to change. You accepted me just the way I am. That’s right, as long as you are by my side believing in me just like that even this nightmare will pass by.

So that I will find the courage to stop my aunt and put a rest to this bloody game of hers. It will be fine, I will not let grandmother's desperate wish for a safe future be shattered. I will be her heir, the new lady in the velvet dress. But for now, just for a moment let me rest in these warm arms that could hold the world forever.

“Thank you for always calming me down, I feel better now!” I responded to him.

“Should we get up then?” He asked while loosening his grip but I gripped his arms.

“Just… can we stay just a little longer like this?”

“If that’s what you wish for.”

And just like that we sat there until the sun shone all over the flower field leaving the white lilies to shine golden in the morning sun.