Sharing Truths

“I wonder how it’s going for Brinja back in Alenia?” Elian wondered. 

He and Kaia were back to travelling on foot after their last ride dropped them off. They were less than a week's walk from Azinth's northeastern border.

“Bullying the other dwarfs, I’m sure,” Kaia said, smiling. “She found most of her family, so now she can focus all her energy on convincing the elders that they need to take action.”

“She can be very convincing, especially with Blackbeard as backup.” He laughed. “Imagine a delegation of dwarfs, accompanied by a herd of goats seeking an audience with the king. Nobody would dare to disagree, being stared down by those crazy eyes.”

“And horns. And hooves. And don’t forget the axes.” She laughed too. "Her father was as formidable as I'd imagined,"

“He was. Let’s hope the letters they gave us will do the trick. It seems the Stonehammer family has a lot more influence than I thought.”

“Yes. I understand status and paperwork are important when dealing with humans, so it should help us convince them about the danger.”

“Let’s hope so.” He stopped and looked around. “We should start coming across more villages and smaller settlements now. There’s something you should know before we get closer.”

“About the humans here?”

“Partly, but mostly about me.”

“I already know you.” She gave him a teasing grin that faded when she saw the look on his face. “Is it about your magic?”

“Yes, I should’ve told you this ages ago… but I was a coward.” He sighed, holding up his gloved hand. “You remember I said that no mages ever leave the military?”

“I do. But you escaped to come live with us instead. Very good decision.”

“Only it wasn't my decision. Rather the opposite actually, even though I’m very happy about it now.” He smiled, thinking of the tribe and the pups and the lives they were trying to save.

“So what happened?”

Elian took a deep breath, preparing himself. He’d promised himself he’d tell her the truth before they reached Azinth. She needed to know the risks. Yet now, getting the words out was even harder than he had expected.

“I was exiled. Cast out as punishment. If I go back, if they recognize who I am, remember what I did… they’ll execute me.”

She stopped, staring at him, ears and tail still. “They what?”

“It means…”

“I know what it means, but how could anyone do that to someone? To a pup even? I know humans can be cruel, but this…?”

“It’s okay, the punishment was just.”

“No!”

He looked down at his feet, readjusted the sword on his back, then nervously fiddled with the hem of his tunic.

“But it was. I… I did a terrible thing. And if you want to leave after you hear it, I understand…”

“Don’t be silly. Of course I won’t leave you. But you should tell me.” She caught his eyes. “I want to know. Everything.”

“Okay. You know how child mages go into the tunnels to close them. We had just done that. Me and my friend Lior…” He paused – Lior – then pulled himself together and told her everything that happened that day, about the trial, and then how he’d been taken in by Roahr and the Nareth.

She was clearly outraged but kept from arguing too much while he told his story. They kept walking while they talked, and the sun was hovering low over the trees when he finally finished.

“So…?” he asked. What do you think now?”

"They were wrong. And so are you." That was not what he'd expected her to say.

"What do you mean, wrong?"

“You’re looking at your magic the wrong way.” 

“Huh?”

“So you have a dangerous skill, and you caused a terrible accident. That does not make you terrible. You've proven that even since. You were a pup then, and pups can’t be expected to handle things like adults.”

“But…”

She patted her bow, looking gravely at him. “I have a dangerous skill too. Should you fear me for it?”

“That’s not the same.”

“Really? You’re wrong again. It’s the same. I’ll tell you.” She took an arrow and twirled it slowly between her fingers. ”When I was just a pup, I found out I was really good with the bow. Everyone praised me, saying I was a natural. I grew confident. Too confident. I also wanted to be the fastest, so that’s what I started practicing.”

“That sounds like you. From what I’ve seen, you’re an excellent shot. Fast too.”

“Now yes. But back then, there was an accident. When practicing speed, my aim got sloppy, and I hit someone in the leg. He lived, but I could just as easily have hit a vital organ. I could have killed him.”

“So, what happened? What did they do to you?”

“To me? Nothing. I got a lecture and was assigned to care for the man I injured.” She looked him square in the eyes, tail whipping behind her. “But as for what I did? I trained. Practiced until my fingers almost bled.”

“They didn’t… punish you?”

“I was a pup. They knew I didn’t mean it. Caring for Lasseth-uncle’s wound taught me that with skill comes responsibility. I swore never to be careless again, and to become the most skilled and focused bow-user in the tribes.” She grinned. “And I did. No one comes close to me in accuracy or speed. I’m the best.”

He nodded, and she prodded him in the chest with a strong finger.

“You just need to practice until you're the best... fire-shooter?” She looked hesitant. “Fire-setter? I don’t think I know the word.”

“Not sure if there is one, the closest would be fire-wielder, I think.”

Her ears perked back up and her eyes sparkled.

“You will become the strongest fire-wielder then.” She nodded with an expression that reminded him of Ryn, and pointed to a dry, dead bush. “Start now. Burn it, one branch at a time.”

“Um... perhaps later. We really should leave the area. Find a good place to spend the night.”

She gave him a long look, seeing right through the excuse.

“If we travel together, fight together, trust each other – I should know what you can do, shouldn’t I?”

“That’s fair. You should. But…”

“Then we make a deal. I go hunt for something nice for dinner, and you light the fire to cook it on.”

“I… should be able to do that. Small and safe.”

He cleared a small space and placed whatever stones he could find in a circle around it. Then he pulled his sleeves up a little to prevent them from getting torn as he began to break dry branches of the bush, piling them neatly in the new firepit. Kaia gave him an approving nod, then frowned.

“Is that a burn scar?” she asked, looking at his arm. “I thought you couldn’t get burned? Or is it from when you were small, before your magic?”

“No, I think it was the exploding bugger.” He shuddered at the memory. “Or maybe… maybe losing control over the fire made it hot enough to burn me. I don’t really know. We were always taught that we were immune to normal fire as well as our own.”

“So mages can hurt each other with their magic? You’re not immune to others’ magic fire?” She touched the scar, and he resisted the urge to pull his arm away. “Perhaps someone else lost control too, and gave you that?”

“I don’t think so. I didn’t see anyone.” He swallowed hard. “But, yes, we can hurt each other with magic, even those controlling the same element. If not…”

If not, then all the other fire mages would have survived that day…

He didn’t say the last part aloud, but she had probably pieced it together anyway because her ears drooped and she gave him a sad little smile. 

“You were a pup then, but you’re not now.” She pointed to the firepit. “Our deal is still on. I bring the meat, you start the fire. Hot food will make you feel better.”

“You’re right. I’m not a pup anymore. And a hot meal will be nice.”

She started walking away, then turned, tail swishing behind her.

“You can do it. I know it. You just need to trust me - and yourself.”

“Sure.”

Once she was out of sight, he took the glove off and hesitantly placed his palm on the firewood. His body knew just what to do. But could he trust it? Then suddenly he was ten again, sitting alone outside the hunter’s cabin… trying and failing to light the fire that could have kept him warm that night.

He couldn’t do it then. But now…

He glanced at Kaia’s backpack. She had a set of flint and steel. Perhaps lighting a fire the normal way would be easier? He looked at the small pile of wood. Nobody was around to get hurt in case he failed. The grass in the field wouldn’t burn for long.

Holding his breath, he leaned closer, the mark flaring up, aura rushing through him in joy. Ready. Eager. Too eager? He took a deep breath to focus. It wouldn’t take Kaia long to track down dinner. For now she was safe, but once she returned, she’d be too close. If he was doing it, he must do it soon.

I can do it… I know I can.

He glanced at the backpack again…