Just Dying

You could call me a hero and at least one kingdom would agree with you. It was never in doubt, by my potion obtained through perfectly legitimate means managed to cure whatever they thought was wrong with Elysa. She came to thank me herself, but I felt a bit bad about the fact that she was back to wearing her pads. Although a bit later she came to thank me again, but this time her chest was real. Honestly, I clearly didn’t understand enough about werewolf anatomy, so I just decided to stop thinking about it.

Anyway, I was expecting some kind of nationwide party, but Dimitris told me that since no one was allowed to know about Elysa’s condition, there wouldn’t be any kind of celebration. In a way that made sense, I mean, I don’t know how they could have had a party without explaining the pads.

But in a much more important way, I wanted to have a big celebration. Not about Elysa, after drinking my fill of her blood and ingesting her poison she served her purpose and doesn’t have much to celebrate. I’m talking about myself here. My werewolf body hadn’t activated yet, but I knew it would soon. If that isn’t a reason to celebrate, what is?

At first I planned on holding a grand ball back in Milize, but Ane would certainly not be in the mood to celebrate when she saw me.

Fortunately, I already thought of the perfect excuse to get these people to hold a party. I just needed to actually go out and kill that monster that was causing them so many problems. So I decided to sneak out of the castle and just go kill it myself.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. You might have expected me to use my stealth skills and sneak out of the castle and search for the beast on my own; spending the next few months wandering the countryside. Well, I already did that once, and I’m not the type to retrace my steps.

Besides, this time I had a big advantage compared to when I went looking for the spider. I had status. I was a noble, and a guest of Elysa’s, so I didn’t need to go sneaking around. And I had money. Hiring a mercenary to take me straight to the dangerous beast was easy. And considering I’d be able to claim the reward for killing it, I didn’t even mind having to pay.

Now the guy I hired was a bit of a coward and wouldn’t take me all the way, but he led me close enough that finding it wasn’t very difficult. It was a straight shot, so it only took me a few days to close the last few kilometers. Fortunately the beast in question wasn’t the type to hide. It was strong enough that I doubt it even understood the idea of stealth. But unlike the last time I said that, I was in a much better position. The strong might not need to hide, but the rich didn’t need to search. The two of us were on more even ground.

“Wow, how have you been? I wasn’t expecting to run into you again.” Honestly, I kind of forgot it was still alive. In my head I already wrapped up the prologue.

“You? You seem different. The shell is the same, but the contents are even more empty.” The soul reaver in the shape of a massive feline spoke directly into my mind.

“Are you trying to pick a fight? I’ll have you know that I’ve had at least four or five good ideas since we last met.” Besides, if my head is empty that’s just because I’m saving room to fill it up later.

“You have no sustenance for us. We shall overlook your previous actions in lieu of our old partnership.”

“That would have worked for me before, but I really need to kill you in order to justify having a party. Would you mind just dying for me?”

The soul reaver let out a sound from its actual mouth that sounded suspiciously like a sigh.

“So you wish to continue? Do not forget our last encounter ended with you running.”

“Did it? I can’t remember anything like that, but the details aren’t important. This time I have an actual reason, so I’m going to finish you off.”

“We will waste no more time with you. We have been gorged on souls and are far more powerful than we once were.”

“Well I have no use for souls, but my pockets are full of gold! Let’s do this!”

In that moment the soul reaver lunged at me, and I happened to have a relevant thought. How was I actually supposed to hurt this thing? I had been talking a big game, but I forgot to actually think up a way to kill it. I figured that I’d have to let it rip me into pieces for a few hours while I thought about it. Fortunately, it never came to that.

With its first attack it bit down on my torso and ripped the left half of my body to shreds, but within the few seconds it took me to recover it had already collapsed on the ground in pain.

“What is this? This pain? Your blood is burning through our souls! Through us! What is this poison running through your veins?" Its voice was still being projected into my head, but it didn’t have the calmness I was used to. The pitch and volume kept changing, as if it couldn’t even maintain something so simple.

And then it died. Well, technically I wasn’t sure if it was dead or not, so I took the liberty of smashing it into a puddle of blood and viscera. Even as what was left of the soul reaver soaked into the ground it showed no signs of recovering, so I figured it really was dead. It turns out soul reavers are weak to werewolf blood. Who knew?

Honestly the whole thing was rather anti-climatic, but I suppose that’s how these types of things go, you know? I even said as much from the very beginning, but I can’t blame anyone for forgetting something like that. The thing about life, and death for that matter, is that they are never as dramatic as people like to imagine. I mean, they might seem noticeable because most people only get one, but that’s just biased. And as a paragon of scientific rigor, I won’t fall victim to that kind of thinking.

And as for the methodology, well, the payoff may have seemed too soon, but I’m not the type to leave a check uncashed. And I properly set things up a long time ago.

Besides, I had a mountain of other things that required my attention. I still hadn’t finished counting all of the people in multiple cities, my mice were hardly capable of marching in formation, and while they could manage to wear the spiky plants, they couldn’t seem to handle their dress uniforms. And at some point I needed to meet up with Ane. Although I’d have to make sure it didn’t happen on a full moon or her rage would endanger all of reality. Oh, and I’d need to buy new clothes that fit my full moon werewolf body. If Elysa was anything to go by, it would be a pretty dramatic transformation.

Thinking of clothes, I wonder if the receptionist back in Ah’Ruh ever got the clothes I had sent to her. Once we finish my party for killing this big cat I should probably go check up on her. That city is probably falling apart without me.