Chapter 17

When my vision returns, only a vast forest surrounds me. I’m nowhere near Sai or the road. The sensation of being pinned down, of Asher whispering in my ear. I still feel it. Like cockroaches that crawled across my skin

“Disgusting.”

Wiping off my skin to try and clear away the memory, I focus on what’s around. Something in my soul tells me that this is the same forest I was trapped in years ago. The only difference is the season.

This time, instead of the bitter cold winter that I was trapped in, summer has brought this place alive. The vibrance of the plants and excessive flowers that bloom make are a lot to take in.

It seems that once again, the Divinities have given me a place to escape to. Unfortunately, this place is very hard to leave once you’re in. Especially since it seems that this place is not one where people can freely visit. I was alone last time, no reason it won’t be the same this time around.

As I stand in place trying to see if I can leave the same way I enter, something tugs at my heart urging me in a certain direction. The urge has been nagging at me since I got here, but it was a distant feeling before. Like a yearning for something that you can’t name.

Still, I try to ignore and focus on getting out, not venturing further into this labyrinth of a forest.

A chirping sound draws my eyes down to a cat that’s gazing at me. Its coat is made up of ten shades of grey with stripes. It’s the antlers that interest me though. Resembling tree branches, the antlers tell me that this wild cat is full grown male. Since they normally don’t approach people, I’m both concerned and fascinated.

The cat does a few slow blinks as it looks at me. Maybe it’s tired?

I squat down so it doesn’t get intimated, but all it does is mimic my movements by sitting.

“Hi. Are you here to lead me somewhere?”

The cat’s ears twitch at my question before it stands up. I don’t speak cat, but its bright eyes seem to be telling me that leading me somewhere is indeed the objective.

As the cat walks away, I’m torn. The sane side of me is saying not to follow that cat into the depths of the forest where I’ll likely die. The other part of me really wants to follow this cat. An adventure would help me not think about recent…things.

The cat halts and turns its head to stare unblinkingly at me.

“Not optional huh?” I hold my hands up in surrender and follow.

My only hope is that just like last time, he’ll find me again. Until then, I guess I’m following this cat.

The forest feels oddly calming unlike last time. Though, at the time I was a kid, and it wasn’t the best time for me. So, it’s no wonder that this forest was scary back then.

I follow the cat as we weave between hundreds of trees. With how high these trees are, I should have been able to spot them from the forest edge. But I didn’t, which tells me that this isn’t the same forest as the one I stepped…well, fell into.

The cat seems to be following the sound of water. When I spot a creak that’s a few feet deep, I deep the tips of my fingers into the clear water. Not stopping for me, the cat picks up its pace, and I eagerly follow behind.

We walk along the creek, and I watch as it grows. The bottom becoming deep, the edges further apart turning into rushing rapids. We’re nearly running alongside each other until I spot a clearing up ahead. As soon as I walk around a large oak tree the world opens up around me.

In the distance, there’s a lake with water that’s just as clear as the creak that led me here. I remember this forest being big, but since everything was either dead of sleeping, I never saw the full magnitude of it. Thousands of miles probably make up this forest; no wonder I never found my way out. No wonder those people didn’t follow me in.

Feeling a rush of air heading my way, I duck just in time to avoid a flock of birds diving down to the lake’s surface. A few of them depart back into the trees victoriously carrying away their freshly caught fish clasped tightly in their beaks. I observe the white feathers of their large wings carrying them higher until they can reach the top branches of the trees above my head.

The cat brushes against my leg and purrs. I reach down to pet the top of its head while meticulously avoiding the antlers. I’m well aware that though the cat is being nice right now, it could easily shred my legs and hands with those antlers.

“Is this what you wanted to show me?”

The cat trills at me. Its tail hooks around my leg as if urging me to stay close. I don’t really want to, but I leave the clearing and the lake behind to follow the cat back within the trees.

This time, it’s harder to keep up since the roots of the trees are growing out of the ground. The cat leaps on top of a root and disappears from my sight after dropping down. I jump, clearing the seven-foot height with ease, but I struggle to balance myself on top of the misshapen tree trunk.

When I drop down none too gracefully, the cat is meowing at me. “I’m coming.”

Walking around the tree, I see the cat pacing in front of something. At first glance, I would assume that it’s a weeping willow tree with its shining silver leaves, but those don’t exist anymore.

The cat tilts its head towards the tree as if to say, this. This is what I wanted to show you.

When it walks under the tree’s low hanging leaves, I follow. Inside is another world. Bright red flowers blooming at the top have thrived under protection of the leaves of the weeping willow. My fingertips brush across the leaves I just walked through enjoying ow the leaves feel…alive. The entire tree does.

Now I’m sure of it. This is a weeping willow, and those are weeping flowers. The very ones that are engraved in basically everything that comes out of Estain. This might be, the very last weeping tree that exists in the whole world

I attempt to remember the stories of the weeping flowers. I know people said that they were dangerous which is why countries destroyed them. But they never said why.

I place my hand on the trunk of the tree and run it along the bark as I circle the tree. The trunk twists and turns, almost as if it were braided together by multiple branches.

By the time I circled the tree twice, I realize that after the cat walked through the leave, I haven’t seen it. I check the upper branches of the tree, but it’s gone. Guess that’s the end of my adventure. I’m about to leave and head back to the clearing I was at earlier when something catches my eye.

One of the bright red flowers has broken off from the branch and is floating towards the ground. On instinct, I reach out to catch it in my cupped hands. Mesmerized, I stare at the beautiful flower. Through the outside of the petals were a blazing red, the inside has varying shades of red and pink. And the shimmering golden pollen at the center of the flower, it glistens from the wet dew that still sits on top of it.

All I can think for a moment is that I’ve never held something so beautiful. That is until the flower, still cupped in my hands, ignites.

I scream and cover my face with my arm releasing the flower turned flames, but it’s too late. Images and sounds flash before my eyes.

I’m ten and I’m riding in a cart that my dad’s driving. It’s taking me further and further away from home, and I don’t want to go.

Next, all I see before my eyes is a large house that could probably host a party of five hundred comfortably. I’m searching for something, or maybe someone. It’s dark out, but in the sky, there are no stars and no moon. It’s just empty. Like the forest was the first time I got lost in it as a kid.

Then I’m back, back to being a kid. And the scene is all too familiar. I’m standing in front of the man my dad was going to sell me to. He has the same black hair that turns green under the light like Sai, but he was nothing like my brother.

When I tried to hide from him in the closet, he found me. I tried to get away from him, but something cut across my back when I headed for the door. It really hurt, but I didn’t cry, and I didn’t stop running. If I did, he would have killed me, I’m sure of it.

I left daddy behind there, in that horrible, awful place. He never came home.

I can see that big house in the distance, and my point of view is different. Higher. Rumi’s in front of me and he’s crying.

“Yoo don’t get it. Of course not. How could yoo possibly understand?”

I want to ask him why he’s crying, but I can’t. Not mine. That’s the words that come into my head as I watch Rumi break down in front of me. This moment is not mine.

“What don’t I understand?”

‘What don’t I understand?’

At the same time, in the same tone. The voice in my head speaks at the same time I do. But this isn’t what I sound like, it’s what she sounds like. Whoever this voice is. It’s her memory.

“You’re not human.” Rumi says as he wipes away at his tears.

I, or she, reaches out her hand, but Rumi swats it away. “I don’t need your sympathy, yoo and I both know you’re not capable of it.”

“I gave you a choice. This, it’s a part of what you chose.” I say.

“No. I didn’t choose this. How can yoo stay here, hidden away from the world and watch this happen. People are dying.”

I think to put my hand on my heart to shield myself from the pain in Rumi’s eyes, but this woman’s reactions are different. She’s confused at his questions, then I feel my head tilt to the side. I’m curious.

‘Everything dies.’

“Everything must die one day. That’s a fact, but not one to mourn. When you die, I’ll send you on your way pleased that you had a good life. Does that not bring you some comfort at least?”

My hand reaches out towards Rumi, but he flinches away. His eyes are wide and terrified. He’s scared of us. Her.

‘Why was he scared?’

The voice in my head seems to no longer be reenacting the conversation between the woman in the vision and Rumi. As Rumi runs away, the woman says nothing more. She just watches him leave without understanding what he’s running from.

The image in front of me changes again. I’m smaller, like I was when I was a kid. Rumi turns around to look at me. It’s hard to see because of the snow that’s falling, but he looks scared. He’s backing away and I’m scared he’s going to leave me here.

The snow around my feet is red and my vision is dimming. “Please. I want to go home. I want to see Sai. Please don’t leave me!”

“Blue!”

Someone shakes me and the scene from that winter years ago falls away. Like forest goes from being covered in snow, to being blanketed in vibrant green grass under a weeping willow tree. Blinking a few times, it takes me a moment before I remember where I am.

“Blue!”

“Rumi?”

Rumi is standing in front of me shaking me back and forth trying to wake me up. My eyes wander back to the flower above my head, I no longer feel like they’re as beautiful as they were.

“Do not touch those flowers,” I warn. “You are not going to like what happens.”

“Are you alright?” Rumi asks as he checks my body for injuries.

“Yeah, there was a cat and then it took me to this tree. Now, I’m done with adventures for a while.”

“You walked into the forest to follow a cat?”

Furrowing my eyebrows, I try to think if there was anything else besides what I told Rumi. Then, my head clears and I remember everything. Asher, Sai, the mask.

“Oh yes. Something did indeed happen. Asher, the son of a bitch tried to kill me. But more importantly, where’s Sai at?”

“Wait, Asher tried to kill you!”

When I realize that Rumi isn’t focusing on the important part right now, I place my hands on his shoulder to get his attention. “Rumi, Sai is a part of the Austere. My little brother who doesn’t understand common sense of self-preservation is a member of the AUSTERE. I need to find him so that I can throttle him.”

Rumi’s faces shift from rage, to confusion, to utter disbelief. “That idiot.” Rumi bellows echoing my sentiment.

“Oh, and there were soldiers in Wirra looking for someone. I was worried it was me, so I left which is how I ran into Asher. To get away from him I ran to the forest but spotted Sai before I got lost in here. And then I met the cat.”

Rumi hangs his head in resignation. “They were looking for a green haired man they believe has ties to the Austere.”

My mouth hangs open at Rumi’s account of the reality that we’re now facing because my brother is an idiot. Groaning, I turn my head up to the skies and wonder which Divinity I need to ask for patience from.