How To Fail A Negotiation

“I hope everyone’s alright, especially you Opera.”

It’s been nearly two weeks since Opera went missing. I wanted to search for her but dad told me not to. He’s been so strange lately, especially since so many of the girls who worked here have gone missing. Some of the villagers have begun asking questions, it’s really starting to take a tow on him. Poor papa, ever since mom died he’s been doing the best he could to take care of me. Maybe I should visit mom’s grave later…

…Wait, where was mom’s grave again? Come to think of it, how long have we really lived in Pewter? What’s going on, why does it feel like-

“This Is A Stick Up, Nobody Move!”

I heard yelling and the sound of broken tables coming from the bar area. I came running out the storage area to see some of the patrons and my father being held hostage. There were three women threatening our wellbeing, two of them wore wooden masks and strange clothing made from animal hide. The last one had her face out with war paint on it, and her pink hair tied in a ponytail with bones to hold it in-Wait, pink hair?

“Opera, is that you?”

Everyone stared at me the moment I said that, the pink haired barbarian stared at me in shock. Almost like she was calculating something.

****

*One Minute Ago*

“Opera, are you sure we need to do things like this? This bear pelt is a bit itchy, and I feel like a vagrant.”

“Hey, my codename is Pinky, and yeah we’re doing this. It’ll be fun!”

Whitney looked down and held the hem of her bear pelt, I could spot that blushing face miles away. Penma was wearing her bandits like garbs with pride, and smirked at the thought of what we were about to do.

“Relax Owl, it’ll be fine.”

“Why is my codename Owl? Shouldn’t it be Whitty?”

“See that Penny, no creativity whatsoever.”

Whitney glared at us for making fun of her, but in the end she sighed and put on her mask. I cracked open the fruit I grabbed in the fruit and painted my face. As for my clothes, I decided to create a more proper barbarian outfit. With a tube top, pelt skirt, and some bone accessories. I’m the most adorable scoundrel on the block, as for Penma and Whitney, they wore masks carved from wood. I pulled out the battle axe hanging on my back, struggling to lift it. I nodded to the gals and we launched into action. I chop the door down and we all charge in, Penma grabbing the one drunk she always hated and Whitney holding the crowd at arrow point. As for me I lunged at Stahn and knocked him down. I held the axe to his neck, and he looked at me with a panicked expression.

“W-who the hell are you!?!”

“Let me ask the questions, and F.Y.I my arms are pretty tired right now.”

Stahn watched in horror as my arms trembled under the weight of the axe. I looked at the terrified patrons and shouted.

“This Is A Stick Up, Nobody Move!”

The crowd was silent, I noticed Whitney’s hand trembling on her bow. I’ll apologize to her later, but this plan was the only logical way I could think of to capture Stahn. That way we can find out what the hell’s going-

“Opera, is that you?”

….Crap, I turned my head and of course Lena was standing there. Small tears gathered in her eyes, and she lunged at me throwing her arms around me.

“Opera, it's you!”

“What are you talking about, I am Pinky the barbarian!”

She looked at me wide eyed for a moment, then tilted her head.

“What are you talking about?”

“Lena, get away from that lunatic!”

Stahn was on his feet brandishing a glass bottle, you think that’s gonna scare me old man. Lena stepped in front of me and spread her arms out.

“Dad stop, this isn’t some stranger it’s Opera!”

“Lies, Opera may have been a firecracker, but she was cute and cuddly. This brat looks like she needs lice removal and three bathes.”

…Can I kill this man? I want to kill this man, actually screw the kidnapping plot. Hooray for murder, was what I thought until I felt something wet touch my face. Lena washed the war paint off my face and pulled the bone pins out of my ponytail. Immediately, the faces of the bar patrons twisted in shock.

“Ehhhhhhhhh!!!!! O-Opera, you’re a barbarian brat!”

“Quiet you fat bastard, and dammit Lena you ruined my cover!”

Lena made a clumsy smile and Stahn hid behind the register, guess we don’t have a choice. I told the girls the plans were changed, sensing the shift they decided to cast off their masks. The patrons gasped seeing Penma and Whitney standing there, as for Stahn he turned white.

“Wh-what are you girls doing-”

“Penma! Whitney! You’re okay!”

Lena rushed to them and grabbed their hands, she jumped for joy realizing she wasn’t dreaming. Stahn’s eyes began ricocheting off the walls, until they finally landed in one place. Looks like he had an idea.

“So that’s it, you three are pissed off I fired you, so you’re-”

Stahn took a stool to the head via Penma, Lena seeing her father in pain rushed over to him. She squealed as she realized his head was bleeding, and for the first time I saw her face flushed with anger.

“Penma, what’s wrong with you? Why would you hurt my father!?!”

“You really have no idea. Opera, as the ringleader, it’s your call.”

Penma’s eyes met mine and Whitney nodded at me, I guess I have no other choice.

“Lena, your father isn’t the kind man you think he is.”

“Opera, don’t you dare insult my father. He raised me ever since my mom died, gave you a job, and has been a friend to our community. How dare you insult him and by extension me!”

Lena looked at me like I was an animal, well I came into this knowing I might lose a friendship. I gestured to Penma, and she started pulling out the sack she had on her back. We couldn’t keep our friend in that wheel barrow forever. The moment Penma showed everyone who was inside, the room lit up with a mix of fear, panic, and disgust. Lena was the first to ask something.

“W-who is that? Is that a hag?”

I looked at her knowing I was about to fracture her innocence and sighed. I opened my mouth ready to release the bomb.

“Lena, that’s Kiara, she looks like this after what your father allowed to happen to her.”

Lena’s eyes filled with dread, Stahn looked at everyone with a panicked expression. Things are working out perfectly, with the room like this there’s no way-

“I don’t believe you.”

…huh? No way, is she really doubting us now of all times.

“In the first place, that ‘thing’ doesn’t look anything like Kiara. It’s honestly an insult that you said that. I never thought I’d say this, but I’m starting to understand why my father fired you.”

Lena’s eyes were cold, damn it I should’ve known this wasn’t going to work. I made the same mistake as before, I was so pissed off about what Stahn did I jumped the gun. The patrons looked at us with fury, Lena was condemning us, and Stahn held his wound with a smirk. If only we had some way to turn the tables, some way to bring the people back to our side. Yo author, I doubt you’d throw me some bones right now, but isn’t there something you could do to help? Come on man, I’ll do anything, I’ll even bake you a pie! Please you gotta help-

“Everybody put your goddamn hands on the floor!”

Everyone looked towards the entrance, standing there were a battalion of knights. They were all stone faced, their teeth were that of wild dogs, and leading the charge wasn’t some grisled old man. It was a chick who looked around my age, and she was staring daggers at me. Crap, the kingdom finally caught up to-The Kingdom! Well thank you author, looks like my ace in the hole just arrived! Oh and about that pie, it’s off the table. You can’t eat something that doesn’t exist right?