My Fault

Someone was shouting.

The voice barely reached me beneath the wind roaring around my body.

"Fourth!"

Meni.

I blinked through the green light covering my vision. Orka still rushed unevenly through me, and the wind around my arms and legs snapped against the broken floor whenever my concentration slipped. Rayne was still standing across the chamber, but before I could think about him, my eyes moved toward the wall.

Fourth was there.

For several seconds, I couldn't understand why he wasn't standing. His body had collapsed against the stone, one arm hanging uselessly beside him while blood soaked through the clothes around his side.

"...Fourth?"

Nothing.

The wind around me weakened as Meni rushed past and dropped beside him. She pressed both hands against the wound, water gathering around her fingers as she shook his shoulder.

"Fourth! Wake up!"

His head moved with her hand. That was all.

More water spread over the wound while Meni forced Orka into it. Her voice faded beneath the ringing in my ears, leaving only pieces behind.

"...wake up..."

Her hands were shaking.

I'd never seen that before.

I tried stepping toward them, but a burst of wind cracked against the floor beside my foot and stopped me. Meni didn't even look up. She was completely focused on Fourth and the blood staining his clothes.

I couldn't go closer like this.

Fourth still hadn't moved. He always got back up. He complained about everything, especially when he lost, but he always got back up.

Now he wasn't.

The ice flashed through my head. Fourth pushing me out of the way, followed by the sound of his body hitting the wall.

BAM!

My fingers trembled.

The attack had been meant for me.

Fourth had protected me.

Again.

And this was what happened to him.

I forced myself to look away and noticed Zack near the other wall. His clothes were burned across one side, his injured arm resting awkwardly beside him. I couldn't remember exactly what had happened to him. The fight had become a blur, but I knew I'd lost control.

Now Zack was barely moving, and Fourth was bleeding against the wall.

My fault.

My fists tightened, and the wind surged hard enough to send loose stones skittering across the floor before I forced my hands open again.

I needed to stop and think, but everything mixed together. Father. Mother. Zack. Fourth. The village. Rayne.

Then his words came back.

It was an experiment.

The survivors became stronger.

Successful.

My teeth clenched.

Everyone in my village was gone, and now Fourth was hurt because he'd protected me.

When I looked up, Rayne was still there. His arm had lowered, the frost around his hand slowly fading while he watched Fourth with that same guilty expression.

I hated it.

Sorry didn't change anything.

Part of me wanted to rush at him again, but I already knew what would happen.

Rayne was stronger than me.

I couldn't beat him.

My eyes returned to Fourth. Meni leaned closer to his face, and through the ringing in my ears I caught one word.

"...breathing..."

My chest loosened slightly.

He was alive.

But Meni immediately returned both hands to the wound, and the fear on her face didn't disappear. Fourth's eyes stayed closed.

I wanted him to wake up. Say something smart. Complain. Anything.

Instead, my blurred vision dropped toward the cracked floor and stopped on the Orb.

Rayne had explained it before. Something from the Demon Lord, filled with an enormous amount of Orka.

Power.

That was enough.

I looked at Rayne, then back at Fourth, and started walking.

Rayne said something from across the chamber.

"...don't..."

I barely heard him.

Rayne was stronger than me. Fourth was hurt.

I needed more power.

The Orka inside the Orb became stronger with every step until even through the noise in my head, I could feel how much was packed inside it. Maybe it was dangerous. I couldn't remember, and I didn't care.

Fourth was already bleeding against the wall.

I stopped in front of the Orb and looked back once. Meni was still healing him, but he hadn't moved.

My chest tightened.

I need more power.

I touched the Orb.

For one heartbeat, nothing happened.

Then my entire body seized.

Orka rushed through me so violently that my knees nearly gave out. It flooded through my chest and limbs before crashing into my head, and when I tried pulling my hand away, it wouldn't move.

Then Father appeared.

I saw his face, heard his voice and saw our home behind him before everything changed. Mother appeared next, followed by the village covered in smoke and fire. Screams filled the air while demons moved between bodies scattered across the ground.

My breathing stopped.

That was years ago.

It was over.

Then Fourth shoved me aside.

The ice flew past.

SHNK!

Blood sprayed across his clothes before his body slammed into the wall.

BAM!

"No..."

My chest tightened.

My fault.

I squeezed my eyes shut, but the image remained. Fourth unconscious against the wall, Meni desperately trying to save him, Zack injured nearby.

Something warm ran down my face.

"Fourth..."

I needed him to wake up.

The Orb pulsed in my hand, and suddenly the grief twisted into anger.

Rayne.

Black Raven.

That mask.

Experiment.

They had brought the demons. They chose my village, watched everyone die and called it successful.

Father. Mother. Everyone.

And Fourth—

No.

Fourth was because of me.

My head throbbed as everything mixed together. My guilt, my anger at the Black Ravens, the village, Fourth—it hurt too much to separate any of it anymore.

The Orb pulsed again.

The sadness became heavier, the guilt tightened around my chest, and the anger burned until breathing hurt. I wanted my family back. I wanted Zack to stand up. More than anything, I wanted Fourth to open his eyes.

None of that was happening.

But I had power now.

And beneath everything else, another feeling kept growing.

Revenge.

BOOOOOOM!

Orka exploded from my body.

The floor shattered beneath my feet as wind tore through the chamber. Green light flooded my vision while Zen surged with more power than I'd ever felt before.

Someone shouted, but I barely heard them.

Through the tears blurring my vision, I found Rayne standing across the chamber. Looking at him brought everything back at once—my family, my village, Zack, Fourth—until the guilt, grief and rage became one tangled feeling inside my chest.

My fingers tightened around the Orb.

I couldn't think clearly anymore. I didn't know how much of this was my fault and how much was theirs.

I only knew I wanted the Black Ravens to hurt.