Who I Am?

We waited until sunrise.We watched everything around us, but there was nothing.No movement.No sound.Only dead silence.I raised my hand.“Be ready. We may face the enemy.”Everyone became tense.Nick slapped his own face lightly and mumbled something under his breath.“No more distractions,” he whispered.I looked at him.“Are you okay?”“Yes, sir.”I threw the rope over the edge of the cliff.“I'll go last. You go first. Take the position slowly. Move like a cat.”The descent felt strangely familiar.I looked at the cliffside.Something about this place...I had seen it before.Or maybe I had only dreamed about it.I couldn't remember.*Maybe I'm overthinking.*I climbed down.We walked for several minutes.Everywhere, there were signs of war.Artillery shells.Patches of snow.Red poppies growing between the rocks.Eventually, we reached the main gate.I looked at the rusty sign hanging above it.**WELCOME TO GENVOIR**Hen stared at it.“I've heard of this place.”He paused.“This town was abandoned about ten years ago because of the Partition.”Everyone looked at each other.We entered.A strange silence surrounded the town.I walked through the empty streets.The houses were burned.Windows were half-destroyed, like dead eyes staring at us.Some doors were still open.Some balconies still had clothes hanging from them.It looked as if people had simply disappeared.“Let's check inside,” one of the boys said.We entered a house carefully.Inside was a kitchen.There was food still sitting on the stove.Cups remained on the dining table.Umang looked around.“It's strange.”Everything looked as if someone had vanished in the middle of an ordinary day.“What happened here?” Nick whispered.I didn't answer.We continued upstairs.On the second floor, I saw a photograph lying on the ground.I picked it up.A family.They were smiling.They looked happy.For some reason, the photograph reminded me of Maria.*But that's impossible.*I looked around.A little girl was standing beside the photograph.She was holding a doll.“Aru?”I blinked.She was gone.There was no little girl.Only a ruined wall.My heart began beating faster.*What is happening to me?**Why am I seeing things?*“Aru?”Umang was staring at me.“You okay?”I looked at the wall.“Yes,” I said.I lied.We left the house.Every house looked almost the same.Bodies.Flies.Crows.Dead animals.Bullet marks.Blood on the streets.Everything smelled of death.Then we passed a small house.I stopped.There was a teddy bear sitting on a shelf.“Nick.”He looked at me.“Don't touch it.”“Why?”I pointed toward the clock beside it.The hands were frozen at a particular time.Something about that time made my stomach tighten.I didn't know why.We moved on.The streets became narrower.Every shop looked familiar.The buildings.The signs.The streets.Even the way the houses were arranged.It felt as if I had walked here before.But I hadn't.*Whose memories are these?**Who am I?*A strange voice whispered inside my head.*You are going in the wrong direction.*I stopped.Nick and Umang turned toward me.“You've been strange lately,” Nick said.I looked at him.“What do you mean?”He hesitated.“You look at us like we're complete strangers.”Umang nodded.“It's true.”I said nothing.Nick continued.“I know you have a lot of responsibility, but you're different.”Umang looked directly at me.“Sir... where are you from?”I froze.Slowly, I answered,“I don't know.”Hen looked confused.“Your family?”Silence.Nick asked,“Your mother's name?”Nothing.Complete silence.“I don't know.”The words came out quietly.But I remembered something.Or maybe I thought I remembered something.I didn't know whether those memories belonged to me.I didn't know whether they belonged to Aru.I didn't know what was real anymore.I stayed silent.They continued looking at me.“Forget about this,” I said. “Focus on the mission.”They clearly wanted to ask more.So I lied.“I had an accident in the past. I don't remember everything.”Before they could respond, Rick came running toward us.“Sir!”“What happened?”“I saw some men.”I immediately raised my weapon.“Be ready. They may be enemy soldiers.”We moved quickly.After about ten minutes, we reached the location.I looked at Rick.“Did you notice anything? Weapons?”“No, sir. There are several men. Around forty to forty-six years old.”He paused.“But there's a woman.”“What about her?”“She was begging for help.”His face became tense.“They dragged her by her hair and forced her into the building.”Then we heard a woman's voice from inside.“Please! Leave my daughter! Please, I beg you!”I looked at my men.“This is it.”I lowered my voice.“We have to catch these men. They may have information about what happened here.”I pointed toward the building.“Nick, enter from the front.”I pointed toward the rear.“Hen and Rick, go around the back.”Then I looked at Umang.“You stay here until we give the signal. If anything escalates, throw the grenade.”“Understood!”We rushed toward the building.We moved as quietly as possible.Broken flowers covered the ground.Broken glass lay across the floor.Blood stained the stairs.I raised my hand.Up.We moved toward the upper floor.Then I heard crying.“Please don't do this!”“Please leave my daughter!”“Please!”The men laughed.Their voices were cold.“Stop resisting.”I kicked the door.**SMASH!**The door flew open.“Hands up!”I froze.Three men stood inside.But there were more behind them.A woman lay on the floor.Blood covered her body.One man was holding a young girl.I knew immediately what they were trying to do.“Everyone inside!”Umang, Hen, and Rick rushed into the room.“Tie them up!”I ran toward the woman.She was barely alive.Her body was covered in injuries.She looked into my eyes.Her lips moved.I leaned closer.“Please...”Her voice was almost gone.“Save my daughter.”Then she stopped moving.I looked at Hen.“Check her.”He examined her.Then he looked at us.He slowly shook his head.Nick grabbed one of the men.“Who are you?”“We're civilians.”“We lived in this town.”I looked down.Military boots.Not civilian shoes.“You're lying.”They said nothing.I stepped back.“Take them into the other room.”I looked at Hen.“Treat the girl.”Then I turned toward Nick, Umang, and Rick.“What do we do with these men?”Nobody answered immediately.Rick finally spoke.“Protocol says if we find an unarmed man, we leave him alone.”I stared at him.“They tried to hurt these girls.”Rick looked down.“This is war, sir.”I didn't answer.Nick remained silent.“Search their belongings,” I said.We entered another room.A strange smell hit us.Something burned.Something rotten.I looked around.Black bags were stacked against the wall.I didn't want to know what was inside them.But I knew.In the corner, I noticed a diary.I picked it up.I opened it.My eyes widened.I read one page.Then another.My hands began shaking.I closed it.I walked back into the main hall.I pulled out my pistol.The men looked at me.For a moment, nobody moved.Then—**Bang.****Bang.****Bang.**One after another, I shot them.The room went silent.Nick stared at me.“What have you done?”“They deserved it.”Silence.Rick looked terrified.“Sir... if they find out, they'll hang you.”“I don't care.”I lowered my gun.“Who's going to tell them?”Nobody answered.I looked at them.“Listen to me.”My voice became cold.“In this war, people keep pretending there are rules.”I looked toward the room where the girls were hiding.“How much of the world have you seen?”Nobody answered.“I've seen more than you.”I looked at the dead men.“Don't think you're heroes just because you wear a uniform.”I swallowed.“I don't like killing.”I looked at my hands.“But they tried to hurt those girls.”“Their mother is dead.”Hen spoke quietly.“Sir... but this is war.”I turned toward him.“So what?”My voice shook.“War doesn't give us permission to kill anyone we want.”I looked around the room.“We're soldiers.”“We're supposed to protect something.”“Even if the world around us has forgotten what that means.”I paused.“Who's going to take care of these girls?”Hen raised his hand.“I will.”Everyone looked at him.“Fine.”I lowered my gun.“Then it's settled.”“Grab whatever supplies you can find.”I stood there alone for a moment.I stared at the ceiling.*Was what I did right?*I didn't know.Maybe war did something to people.Maybe people entered war as soldiers...and came out as something else.Something darker.Something they no longer recognised.I closed my eyes.Then I felt someone pulling me.I opened them.Faces appeared around me.New faces.Their hands reached toward my face.Blood covered everything.Seven souls.One boy.Six men.Their eyes were hollow.They smiled at me.“You became just like us.”“No.”I stepped backward.“No, no, no.”A strange voice whispered in my ear.“Boy... I like you.”“Leave me alone!”I covered my ears.“I don't want to live like this!”The laughter grew louder.And louder.“Please stop!”“I want to go home!”The laughter filled my head.“Ha... ha... ha... ha...”Then—everything disappeared.I opened my eyes.Nick was standing in front of me.“Why are you sweating?”I wiped my face.“I don't know.”I looked around.“Maybe the room was too hot.”Nick stared at me.“I don't know if what you did was right or wrong.”He paused.“But I trust your judgment.”He put his hand on my shoulder.“You're not alone.”He smiled.“Everyone wants to survive and go home. Not just you.”I looked at him.“Don't start, Lieutenant. I'm your senior.”He laughed.“Sorry, sir.”I entered the room where the girls were hiding.They looked terrified.“Don't be afraid.”I crouched down.“We're here to help you.”I looked at them.“You have two choices.”I pointed toward the ruined building.“If you stay here, you may not survive.”Then I pointed toward the door.“Or you can come with us.”I paused.“I don't know how long I'll survive either.”“But I promise we'll protect you.”I looked at the little girl.“I can't promise you a perfect future.”“But I can give you a reason to survive tomorrow.”She stared at me.Then she grabbed my hand.“I'll go.”Her voice trembled.“I want to survive for my mother.”I smiled.“Good.”I looked at Rick.“Give her something to eat.”Then I stood up.“We have to leave. We're already late.”We exited the building.The sun was setting.The sky had turned orange.Hen held the little girl's hand.He looked down at her.“What's your name?”“Maru.”“Maru?”She nodded.“For now, we're your family.”He smiled.“I'm like your brother.”For the first time, Hen looked happy.He had found a reason to survive.To protect someone.We continued through the town.After passing several buildings, I saw a small fountain.I walked toward it.Water moved quietly beneath the broken stone.I looked down.I couldn't see my face.Maybe the water was dirty.Or maybe...my face was simply gone.Then I saw him.Lewis.Or maybe it was my own face.I couldn't tell anymore.I splashed the water.Nobody saw what I saw.I didn't tell them.I opened my diary.I didn't know the date.I stared at the page.*My name... Aru.**Is that really my name?*I zoned out again.Nick noticed me sitting beside the fountain.“Guys,” he said quietly, “Aru doesn't look well.”Rick shook his head.“I've seen soldiers like this before. They adapt eventually.”Nick disagreed.“No.”He looked at me.“Something is different.”“He doesn't even remember his home.”Maru pulled Hen's hand.“What are you talking about?”Hen smiled.“We're talking about how brave our leader is.”“He killed all the bad guys.”Maru looked at me.Nick removed his red scarf.“My mother gave this to me for good luck.”He wrapped it around Maru.“Now it's yours.”Rick removed his jacket and gave it to her too.Maru smiled.But we all knew that smile couldn't hide what was happening inside her.She needed time.We continued walking.I looked ahead.“Come on, boys! We're almost at the camp!”I stopped.Something had changed.I heard it.**Bang.****Brrrat!****Boom!**Grenades.Machine guns.Gunfire.My heart began racing.Bloodlust rushed through me.I looked toward the sound.“Run!”I started running.The others followed.The camp was just ahead.But something was wrong.Very wrong.I could see smoke rising into the sky.I could hear screaming.The gunfire became louder.I tightened my grip around my weapon.And I ran toward the camp.