Final Boss

They had to use quite a lot of turns to cast Hold Person spells to Conrad and all the Black Orchid men, but luckily, they all collaborated - probably because Vesper was still in her Sabre-Toothed Tiger form.

Nona summoned Frederik and Rowena, so that they helped take Conrad and his men into custody, using Red's big body to transport them to the ground.

Once the paladins left - a bit disappointed for not having been able to fight - and Nona and her group were the only ones standing on the platform, a magic circle appeared on the ground. They all stepped on it, because there was no charge for trying. But as they feared, the circle remained inactive.

There were a lot of complaints - particularly from Thorny - but in the Ultimate Battle Rules it had been established that Nona and the Goddess would fight in a singular combat. Meaning, Nona to go. Alone.

“See you guys at the other side,” Nona said reassuringly, waving her hand as the magic circle illuminated with a bright light. “Tell Aecor I love him.”

“Tsk, you already did an hour ago, you corny, dummy lead–”

That was the last thing Nona heard before her surroundings became blurry.

The next time she blinked, she was on a solitary platform, so elevated that she couldn’t even see the ground, with nothing around her but the starred sky - because for some reason it was already dark there.

“Gosh, finally. Let's get it over with.”

Nona had barely time to raise her armadillo shield to stop a giant, manicured hand from crushing her against the ground.

A loud click of tongue was heard from above, and Nona’s eyes widened seeing an gigantic version of the Goddess looming on the top of the platform.

“Tsk, you’re stronger than I thought. OK then: I guess I’ll have to put in a bit more effort,” the Goddess complained, starting to hit the platform with both her fists, making the platform tremble dangerously.

“W-Wait, I thought this was supposed to be a turned-based battle!” Nona exclaimed while dodging nonstop.

Thankfully her stamina and agility were quite higher than when her journey started, or she would be now in deep trouble.

“Tut tut tut: sorry, ugly girl, but the rules didn’t strictly mention that such battle rules also applied to our final confrontation. So, TAKE THIS!” Nona managed to jump just in time to dodge the sweep attack that the Goddess made with her entire arm. The Goddess exhaled an exasperated, high-pitched whimper. “You’re worse than a fly. Can’t you just stay still and let me kill you?!”

“K-Kill me? But according to the rules we only need to defeat our opponent! We never said anything about killing–”

“I don’t care!” This time Nona had to alternate between parrying slaps with her shield and dodging punches. “I’m the GODDESS! I should be OBEYED without questioning, not challenged by an inferior human like you! And when I kill you here, be certain that your little group will be next, and then your hot, merman boyfriend, and finally your parents and all those annoying siblings you have–AAAAAAHHH! You animal, you just broke my nail!”

Nona managed to break another one nail a powerful combined hit of her dwarf axe and her short sword. She made the most of the Goddess’ being focused on her injured hand to rummage inside the smaller bag from her belt.

“You can insult me all you wish, Your Holiness, but don’t you dare threaten the people I care about,” Nona warned, executing the movement Orelgald had made her memorize in order to activate the sigil.

“Hey, hey, hey, that’s cheating!” The Goddess shouted, desperately signaling at the shining circle that formed on the ground. “You shouldn’t be allowed to summon here! This is between you and I, ugly girl–!”

“Due to the recent bending of the rules, the minor gods have decided that the challenger can summon her remaining allies.”

“WHAT?! Enutrof, why are you taking her side?! Do you want to be banished as punishment?!”

“I am completely neutral in this fight, Boss. So if You are allowed to bend the rules to Your benefit, it is only fair that the former Wish Bearer also has an advantage.”

By then, the summoning was complete and Satan had joined the battle. The chihuahua started to bark the moment he saw his former owner. And with each angry bark, he got bigger and bigger, until he was almost as big as Red.

“Summon more reinforcements, leader,” the chihuahua said, gathering momentum to jump. “I will handle the old hag for now.”

“O-O-Old hag?! You ungrateful animal: that’s how you repay all the love I gave you–ARGH don’t lick my face! YOU WILL RUIN MY MAKEUP!"

Nona made the most of Satan’s distraction to summon Richard and his group.

“Here She is!” Richard seemed to rejuvenate, managing to stand in almost straight posture before bowing towards Nona. “Thank you for the vote of confidence, my dear. We won’t disappoint you.”

“Ugh, this will go down in history as the most pathetic Ultimate Battle of all times!” The Goddess who had finally managed to get a hold of her unraged former pet, ruthlessly threw him back towards the platform, and looked at Richard’s group with disdain. “First a doggy, and then a group of geezers that for sure will receive Thaed’s visit in no time. This is ridiculous–OUCH! Time-out, time-out, I just got something in my eye–!”

“Great job throwing those knives, Bob!” Nona thanked the old thief.

A rush of energy coursed through Nona’s body when Dylan, the bard, played her now-well-tuned lute. Nona didn’t waste time grabbing Richard by his bony arm before jumping from the platform to start delivering as many hits as they could. Satan also pounced on the Goddess. They managed to inflict quite some damage before gravity forced them to come back to the platform.

By then, Ernest, the mage, had managed to create a protective sphere around them to deflect any future attacks. However, instead of striking, the Goddess - now a little breathless - smiled mischievously and snapped her fingers.

Nona’s eyes widened when high-level monsters started to spawn on the ground.

All of them charged against the shield, and Nona gulped, cold sweat running down her back. No matter how fast she was, or how powerful her attacks were now, there was no way that she could defeat them fast enough to prevent one of her allies from being hurt.

Before the fear of not being able to keep her promise could set it, someone landed on the middle of the platform at a fearsome speed.

And Nona’s eyes widened when she recognized the very tall man, with very long hair, and very exposed torso that slowly raised to his feet.

“Thorny?!”

The former god smirked cockily and raised both arms, adopting a fighting stance.

Despite Nona’s trained eyesight, she barely could follow Thorny as he teleported between monsters, delivering insanely powerful punches that managed to knock out all the elite monsters in one single hit.

When not a single monster kept standing, Thorny rolled back his broad shoulders, cracked his strong neck and placed his hands on his hips.

“So? Have you finished gaping while witnessing my greatness, dummy leader–?”

Thorny’s sentence ended up with a huffed laugh when Nona tackled him into a tight hug.

“Enutrof what is the meaning of this?!” The Goddess screamed, signaling at Nona and Thorny still hugging each other. “Who is that insanely hot man who is with the ugly girl?!”

“Again, due to the recent bending of the rules, the minor gods have decided that the challenger is allowed to fight with her main team.”

“Oh, so that's how it is! HAH, doesn’t matter. I can do this forever.”

Right when more monsters started to spawn, three more landings took place at that moment, causing Nona to finally separate from Thorny.

“Of course She was going to cheat,” Adish said with exasperation, adjusting his glasses and opening his grimoire again.

“Should we assume that the respawn won’t stop until we defeat Her?” Vesper observed, this time shifting into an - adorable - owlbear.

“Leave the monsters to us, leader,” Lorian said, unsheathing both daggers. “We got this covered, so you and the former imp focus on the crazy Goddess.”

Nona smiled widely and nodded.

“Thank you, guys. Let’s end this.”

Just a minute later, Nona and Thorny were going all out against the Goddess, who now was forced to occasionally shield herself because Thorny’s attacks caused critical damage almost in each hit.

At the same time, Richard’s group acquired a role of support, either boosting Nona’s group abilities, or helping immobilize the monsters. While Vesper fought alongside Satan, Lorian and Adish ended up back to back, with the elf covering for the mage’s blind angles as Adish casted high-level area spells towards the monsters.

“I must say that you are outdoing yourself with your fake magic today.”

“Wow, you actually made a compliment. What’s the next step? Maybe calling me by my name?”

“Tsk, keep dreaming, mage.”

“You know, I wonder if you two are ever going to admit that you actually get along–”

Vesper’s teasing comment ended up with a shocked hoot when one of the monsters’ attacks almost sent her off the platform. However, at the last second, she managed to miraculously regain balance. As if fortune itself had smiled on her.

Back to the main boss, Nona was about to curse for real when, for the third time, the Goddess passed from being in a clear state of exhaustion to be at her fullest again.

“Poop, she’s healed herself again. This is not working, Thorny. She must have a weakness that we can’t see.”

Her words made Thorny’s face illuminate. “I think I got it, leader.”

He leaned down and whispered something in Nona’s ear that made her open her mouth in disbelief, right before hope shone in her eyes. “Can you handle it?”

As an answer, Thorny smirked before turning invisible.

“Tsk, and the handsome man disappears.” The Goddess sighed. “Honestly, I can’t understand how an ugly girl like you is surrounded by so many hotties–”

“Before we defeat You, Your Holiness, there is something I’d like to tell You.”

The Goddess blinked before letting off a boisterous laugh.

“Defeat me? HAH! Sweetheart, I can keep recovering no matter how much damage you deal to me. And your little group may be winning against the monsters for now, but I can always make more appear–”

“My parents always taught me never to judge a book by its cover, and also that everyone deserved a second chance.” Nona stored her dwarf axe, and switched to her short sword as the main weapon. “But this journey has taught me that not everyone deserves our trust, and much less our blind devotion or obedience. Because you know what’s the worst part about you, Your Holyness? That you aren’t even trying to be cruel with us on purpose. You are just selfish. You just lack empathy. And for someone in Your position, that’s even worse than being evil.”

The Goddess clicked her tongue, blowing non-existent dust from her renewed perfect nails.

“Have you finished with your little heroic speech? Yes? Good. Because now, I’m going to teach you how foolish it is to provoke a selfish, unempathetic Goddess like me–”

“Nona, GOT IT!”

Thorny’s triumphant shout effectively made the Goddess look in his direction.

And then, she got incredibly pale.

“Wait,” she stared horrified at Thorny as he flew towards Nona. “Wait wait WAIT, BRING THAT BACK TO ME!!!”

The Goddess’ tried to grab Thorny, but Satan jumped on the Goddess and started to lick her face all over, allowing Thorny to safely reach Nona.

“Time for the final blow, leader,” he smirked, and deposited a rectangular mysterious device on the ground, at Nona’s feet. “You better not miss.”

Nona smirked, raised her short sword, and lowered it with all her strength, piercing through the device which broke with a noisy ‘CRASH’.

“NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”

The Goddess’ desperate, high-pitched yell echoed all over the place.

And then, between unintelligible babbles, the Goddess’ eyes went blank and she collapsed.

Everyone stood still, not daring to speak as the monsters that remained standing slowly vanished.

Finally, after several long seconds, a familiar godly voice spoke from the sky.

“Due to the current unconscious status of the Goddess, we determine that Nona, the former Wish Bearer, is the champion.”

Enutrof’s next words were lost among the cheery roars that erupted in the place as their victory of the Ultimate Battle was announced.

* * *

As the sky slowly cleared up, and the elevated platform that had been the scenery for the final battle started its slow descent towards the ground, Nona closed her eyes, finally allowing herself to relax and sink in the warm hug of her allies; her friends; her family.

“Hey,” Nona opened her eyes, in time to see Thorny come back to his imp form, his usually mischievous eyes now only showing relief, pride, and happiness, “we made it, Nona.”

Nona bit her lip, which was now trembling with emotion, and hugged Thorny against her.

“We made it, Thorny. We really made it.”

They were half-way through the ground when Nona could also hear cheers and shouts of joy.

“It seems like a certain minor god spoiled the result of the Ultimate Battle,” Adish commented with amusement.

“Wise deduction, young mage.”

Everyone laughed at the screech that Adish let out when Enutrof suddenly manifested on the platform.

“Again, congratulations on your victory, former Wish Bearer.” Enutrof smiled. “Do you want to keep your chosen reward, or do you wish to change it?”

“I keep it,” Nona’s confident words made Enutrof chuckle.

“Very good. In that case, at the victor’s request, from this very instant, no Main God or Goddess will have the power to demand any Wishes anymore. And I, Enutrof, in representation of the other minor gods, I am committed to make the victor’s request fulfilled.” Enutrof looked at Nona’s forehead. “I assume you would like that mark removed then?”

“Oh.” Nona brought a hand to her forehead, hesitated, but eventually shook her head no. “It’s fine like this. I’ve had it all my life after all, so I’ll miss it if it’s gone.”

Enutrof looked a bit shocked but nodded.

“As you wish, champion. And, again, congratulations on your deserved victory, champion. You were a formidable adversary. I am certain that such a feat will be sung in the generations to come–” Nona gasped loudly, bringing her hands to her mouth, startling Entropf.

“What’s wrong, Nona?” Vesper asked with worry. “Are you hurt?”

“I forgot,” Nona said with a thin, guilty voice. “I completely forgot summoning Horace.”

“Holy shit, you’re right!” Thorny facepalmed.

“Oh no, he’s going to be pestering us all night for details,” Adish said, mortified.

“Worry not: we have plenty of Sleep Spells scrolls,” Lorian pointed out, “we can certainly afford to use one.”

Enutrof awkwardly cleared his throat. “Alright, you are about to reach the ground. And I assume you will be willing to celebrate, so I’ll take my leave–”

“Wait, why don’t you join us?” Nona’s sudden offer made Enutrod stop in his tracks, stunned. “You helped us a lot during the battle, so you’re more than welcome.”

“But champion, it goes against the Rules that gods and earthly creatures got too involved together–”

“Enut, man, come on: you won’t die for enjoying a bit of an earthly party.” Thorny’s ironic tone turned more serious. “And it’d be nice catching up. It’s been a while.”

Enutrof changed his weight from one foot to the other before crossing his naked arms and talking with a studiedly casual tone. “Are you sure you do not mind? I perfectly understand if my presence makes you uncomfortable–”

“WE DON’T MIND!” Apparently, Vesper had talked more loudly than intended, because she blushed and cleared her throat. “I-I mean, we would be honored to have a god celebrating with us, right?” Vesper dug an intense gaze on Adish and Lorian, who were poorly fighting their laughter. “Right?”

“Y-Yeah, yeah, no problem/Of course we are fine with it,” the mage and the elf hurriedly said, suddenly nervous at Vesper’s dangerous aura.

“It’s settled then!” Enutrof’s eyes were about to leave their sockets when Nona draped her arm around the gods’ shoulders. “Let’s go, guys! We have a victory to celebrate!”

By the time they reached the ground, and were effusively welcomed by all the allies, the sun was setting, marking the end of an era, and the start of a new one where Wish Bearers would not be needed anymore.