Forty - After the rain, part II

A few days later, I finally left WayDeck.

This time with plans to return.

Now, I will be heading for the coast.

The town where Canny lives is near Manarfel.

Azaki is a fishing town located in the east of the continent.

It has been a long time since I last saw the sea.

I went near the coast only once during a mission.

Never again after that.

I could not go into the water.

I had other, more important things to do.

I hope I will be able to swim this time.

The train ride to the east coast should take two days.

Transportation services soon returned to normal.

Only a small fraction was operating.

Especially after the nomads regained control of the north

The Council was limiting travel to short distances.

Trains sat practically unused.

Or were used to transport weapons.

Now, many people are traveling again.

I imagine many are returning to their places of origin.

Others are simply traveling.

Despite the war, life did not stop for many people.

It is strange to think that.

Even while everything was under the Council's regime, people simply went on living their lives.

Those who could, anyway.

Life goes on, no matter what.

Even after the fighting has ended, there are those who saw or experienced nothing.

They simply carried on with their lives.

I try not to think about those tragedies anymore.

Everything seems so distant now.

Life's cycle of change never stops.

The balance is restored for now.

Maybe we pushed to far on one distance.

The war is behind me.

Now, the important thing is to look to the future.

After a long journey, I am exhausted.

Two days on a train are not good for anyone.

I have finally arrived.

Maybe I should start exercising again.

I have not trained since everything.

My body is starting to feel the effects.

There he was.

Waiting for me at the station.

With the most beautiful smile in the world.

He has not changed a bit.

We have been apart for only a few weeks.

It feels like years.

I grew very close to him during those final moments.

He became unintentionally my anchor.

Just looking at him was enough to calm my heart a little.

Right now?

Just looking at him makes my heart race.

"Did you have a good trip?" he asks as he takes my bag from my hands.

"I did. I am tired. I want to take a long shower and rest my back."

"I can give you a great massage."

What?

Huh?

What do you mean?

He smiles and wraps one arm around me as we walk side by side.

He is practically carring me forward.

I think I have forgotten how to walk properly.

I hope he does not let go of me.

He is the only thing on my mind right now.

We arrive at his house.

His mother comes over to greet me. "It is so great that you are here. Canny was not holding himself together with anticipation. He would not stop talking about you. I can finally put a face to all the adjectives he used. You really are very handsome."

"Mom!"

"It is a pleasure to meet you. I am Bruce."

"Let us go inside. Make yourself at home." She hugs me.

I hug her back.

Canny quickly pulls me inside the house.

His face is a little flushed.

It is really cute.

We walk into his room.

He closes the door behind him.

"You want to rest a bit. You are tired, are you not?"

"Are you nervous? It is okay."

He pushes me toward the bed.

I sit down on the edge.

I set my bag on the floor.

Canny hesitates for a moment.

He throws himself into my arms.

We lie down side by side.

Leaving practically no space between us.

Our noses are touching.

Our bodies are almost fused together.

I love being this close to him.

His scent calms me.

We gaze deeply into each other's eyes.

We are not looking away.

"What have you been up to? How was it at WayDeck?" he asks, breaking the silence.

"It was good. The city's reconstruction has finally begun. Du and the other survivors are working to get everything back to the way it was."

"Did you get to see your house?"

"Yes... My house was completely destroyed in a fire. My grandmother owned several powerful magical items that the Council could have used. They chose to destroy everything with fire instead."

"I am sorry."

"It is alright. It is been years now. I think seeing it the first time was painful, but I have other things that make me happy."

He hugs me even tighter.

"And you? How is your life here?"

"It is strange coming back. After everything we had to do. Trying to return to normal is hard. Everyone around you says they understand, but It is not the same. My family tries to make things as comfortable as possible for me. They have even started calling me Canny." He laughs.

We look at each other again.

He moves even closer.

He starts rubbing his nose against my neck.

Inhaling my scent deeply.

His touch sends shivers all over my body. "Mmm."

My hands begin to roam over his body.

Over his face.

Over his hair.

Over his torso.

Over his hips.

I start breathing in his scent.

He pushes me onto the bed and climbs on top of me.

He gazes down at me.

He is not moving.

Our breathing is heavy.

We are in sync.

I remember the first time I met him.

He was on top of me just like this.

The first time I felt the weight of his body on mine.

It all feels so long ago now.

How long have we actually known each other?

It feels like a long time.

Yet not long enough.

We fought side by side.

It is not exactly a conventional way to get to know someone.

It was our way.

I want him.

His mother knocks on the door. "Canny, Bruce. Lunch is ready. Come and eat."

He does not move.

His face shows disappointment.

He looks annoyed.

I start to laugh.

I sit up on the bed

He settles onto my lap.

Facing me.

Our faces are extremely close again.

Our noses touch.

We start rubbing our faces together.

Feeling every movement.

A shiver runs down my spine.

He cups my face in his hands.

He kisses me.

Then he stands up.

His face is bright red.

He turns away to try and hide it.

He is so cute.

"Come on, come on. My mom is calling. She will be back to call us again soon if we do not go."

I stand up too, and together we go to the kitchen to eat.

His mother and his two sisters are there.

"My name is Emeldina. You better treat my brother really well, or you will have to answer to me."

"Emeldina!" Her mother scolds her.

"That is Emeldina, and the friendlier one is named Safija."

The older one smiles at me.

I sit at the table.

"How long have you known each other?" asks Emeldina.

"Since the beginning of the year, I think." Canny replies. "We ran into each other at the train station during one of our trips."

The two sisters giggle together.

"You are making our guest feel awkward."

Canny looks at me and smiles.

By the ancient goddesses.

That smile of his undoes me.

Completely.

I remain silent.

I do not know how to behave myself in a situation like this.

It is been a long time since I witnessed anything like this.

It is a different feeling.

Familiar people acting naturally.

I have seen it before.

I lived it before.

I have not been a part of it.

Not for a long time.

I hold back my tears.

I try to hold them back.

I do not want to ruin this moment.

Canny slips a piece of meat into my mouth, taking me by surprise.

It is delicious.

I start eating.

It is as if he knows when my mind begins to wander too far.

He knows those dark places where our thoughts drift through.

Acting normal is hard.

Facing normality is hard.

Time flew by today.

I think I did not enjoy it much because I was so tense all day long.

It is already night.

Being surrounded by happy people is supposed to calm me down, but instead, it makes me feel a bit uneasy.

I hope no one noticed.

I think Canny did.

I am lying in his dark room right now.

He went to wash up before bed.

I wonder if I will ever get used to this kind of calm in my life.

I do not know if I will be able to sleep tonight.

I am too restless.

Maybe having him by my side will calm me down.

He opens the door.

My eyes hurt until they adjust to the light from outside.

He is wearing pajamas, with a towel over his wet hair.

His silhouette is beautiful.

He is beautiful.

He enters and closes the door behind.

I see his shadow approaching.

He sits beside me and places his hand on my thigh.

I begin to run my hand over his back.

Even from behind, in the dark, he is beautiful.

Perhaps I am losing my mind.

Being together alone in the dark calms me.

His is the only presence that does not make me anxious.

Will I ever be normal again?

Does he feel this way too?

He lies down beside me.

A few drops of water from his hair fall on my face.

We are side by side.

Looking at each other in the dark.

He is lying on my arm.

I pull him closer.

I grab his waist.

His wet hair begins to wet my face.

The water is still warm.

He smells of soap.

He puts the towel over our faces.

Our breathing grows heavier.

It is warmer now.

Neither of us moves.

What is he thinking?

I want to kiss him.

I kiss him.

This time, a long kiss.

This time, I am holding onto him.

He is not getting away from me.

He responds to the kiss and kisses me back.

Harder.

I push him onto the bed and I get on top of him.

His wet hair is against the bed.

His face is completely surrendered to me.

A perfect vision.

Afterwards, we went to sleep.

I could not sleep.

The bed was too soft.

I thought about lying on the floor.

I did not want to leave the inside of his arms.

He seemed to be sleeping so comfortable.

He is lucky.

I can force myself to sleep.

I do not want to use that kind of magic anymore.

Every night I think about using it.

I always back out.

I have not slept very well since the end of the war.

I did not sleep right during the war, either.

If I can stay still enough, maybe I will pass out from exhaustion.

Maybe I will stay awake all night once again.

"You can not sleep either, can you?"

His voice catches me off guard.

I nod.

"I was told that someday we get used to it and go back to sleeping normally. I try to pretend I sleep well every night so I do not worry my family."

I move closer to him and start nuzzling his neck.

"Are you in the mood again?"

"Not right now." I give his shoulder a light tap. "I just want to be even closer to you."

"Come to think of it... How do you still have a family? I thought they only recruited people with absolutely no ties."

He takes a deep breath.

He hugs me even tighter.

I do not think he wanted to talk about this.

"When all this started, my family sank into debt because of the trades blockades. To get the money, my father ended up selling me to the organization. I guess they accepted that kind of deal. Earth mages like me were worth a lot of money. Even though I was very young, they already knew how to exploit my powers.

Later, once I started going on missions, I went looking for my family. In secret. Eventually, I came back here. It was night. My father was having a good time at a tavern in town. I was furious with him. I lost my temper that day and killed him. I fled out of shame. I was scared. It took me a few years to come back here. I wanted to apologize to my mother. As soon as she saw me, she recognized me. It took a while. She said it was uncanny seeing me after all those years. She thought I was dead. But in the end, she hugged me and thanked the balance for my return. She said she did not known my father had sold me. She had been searching for me all those years. I have never told anyone this full story. Not even my mother."

I hug him even tighter.

I understand him.

"Do you hate me?"

"I could not hate you. Never. Things happen. Do not blame yourself."

"Let us go. Come with me."

"What? Where to?"

"To see the sea."

We got up and went out.

The night is a bit cold.

A strong wind is blowing from the ocean.

It was warmer in bed.

Inside his arms.

I should have worn something warmer.

Canny takes the jacket he was wearing and puts it on me.

He kisses my forehead.

I hold his hand

We keep walking down the street.

It was a beautiful night.

The sky was full of stars.

Very calm.

Almost too calm.

Walking hand in hand with him like this is incredible. I hope it helps him to ease his nerves.

I do not know if I should have asked about his past.

Will we still be like this in the future?

Walking side by side...

Holding hands?

How do you stay with someone for a long time?

Will he get tired of me?

What if we never become normal?

Can two people who went through what we went from afford to live a normal life?

Without consequences?

Will we ever have to pay for the things we did during the war?

I do not like thinking about it too much

But I can not get it out of my head...

Is it fair for us to be happy?

Even after so many people did not make it this far?

I still feel a bit guilty.

"You furrow your brow and look down when you are overthinking. Did you know that?"

"What? No... I do not..."

He hugs me and pulls me in close

He brings my head against his chest.

He knows his scent calms me.

"It will be okay. Someday."

We arrive at the beach.

It is very different from how I idealized it.

Coming to the beach at night has its pros and cons.

I can not see much right now.

The immenseness of the sea feels even greater in the dark.

It is somber.

Mysterious.

Menacing.

Just a few waves.

It is like an animal lying perfectly still before making a fatal strike on its prey.

I have done this things myself plenty of times.

Even though it is menacing.

I like the sea at night.

"The sea reminds me of myself," I say. "It looks calm on the surface but holds so many secrets. You told me your secret. I have my dark sides, too. Things I had to do... I am just like you. I am afraid that because we are so similar, we will not be able to stay together."

"Do you want to go into the water?"

He takes off his shirt.

He starts walking toward the sea.

It is freezing.

Is he really going in?

I follow him.

Ugh.

I hate cold water.

He hugs me from behind.

Now, all I can see is the vast, darkness of the sea before me.

The ice cold waves splash at my knees.

It is perfect.

The huge reflection of the yellow moon on the surface lights up the night.

It is not enough to pierce the darkness of the deep water.

"we will go this far today. Tomorrow, we can go deeper."

I press my face against his.

"We do not need to reach the bottom of the ocean all at once. Maybe we never will. But that does not stop us from swimming."

Is he reading my mind?

"I am afraid to swim. The flow could pull me away from you."

"I promise to hold your hand tight."

He lets go.

Quickly crouches down.

He splashes water at me.

He is smiling.

The way I love.

A beautiful smile.,

This time.

Is playful.

Mischievous.

"Hey! It is so cold."

I splash him back. I know exactly how to get even.

"Now you are going to pay for that."

I struggle to open my eyes.

The sun is already up.

We slept on the sand.

He is beside me.

I think He is still asleep.

I sit up.

The beach is still practically empty.

A few fishermen are working in the distance.

Very likely returning from their work at the sea.

In the daylight, the sea is different.

It is just as vast as before.

Now I can see the water surface.

It seems less infinite.

Even with the horizon so far away.

In that direction lies another continent.

With other people.

With other problems.

There are happy people there, too.

I imagine.

Maybe someday we can go visit other places.

That could be fun.

The sea is a great adventure.

It does not matter how far out you go.

But looking at it like this, right now...

It does not seem scary.

It seems challenging.

Complicated.

Not scary.

Because I am not alone.

He hugs me from behind.

It is as if he actually reads my mind and knows every time I am thinking about him.

Maybe he is thinking about me too.

Maybe I am just thinking about him too much right now.

Just a big coincidence.

I lie back down.

We are very close.

He smiles at me.

He can not keep his eyes open for long.

The sun is starting to get really strong.

"What do you want to do now?"

"I do not know. I can not think of anything."

"I wanted to stop by Fojstar for a bit. I know I just got here. I still can not quite get comfortable staying in one place. That is something I will have to learn over time. I wanted to pay my respects to Mrs. Lampronia and everyone else."

"Let us go. We have all the time in the world to be together. To get used to normal things together."

"We are going to need a lot of clothes for the cold."

"I prefer you without any clothes."

I smack him on the shoulder.

We set off two days later.

I really liked his family.

My family now.

I have to get used to these things.

I suppose I have to get used to a lot of new things.

At least my life will be very exciting.

I still prefer the open road.

Traveling and always being on the move.

We are on the train now.

He is asleep on my shoulder.

We are already reaching the foot of the mountain.

To go up, we have to take another transport.

This time, one that goes right through the mountain.

I now know the routes.

In and out.

We will not have to endure the cold climbing like my first time here.

I think I brought more clothes than necessary this time.

That is probably for the best.

The look on his face as he discovers the labyrinth inside the mountains...

I think that is how I looked at all of this the first time.

Only magic could explain how these tunnels were built.

The carts we are in are small and fast.

There is only room for the two of us.

But we will reach the summit very quickly.

Judging by the expression on his face, I think he is going to want to stay on this ride much longer.

He is having a great time.

Upon arrival, we headed straight for Izzat’s inn.

She had fought alongside us during the final battle.

I think she and Kasamba are finally dating.

I am to scared to ask.

I still do not quite know how Kasamba managed to save everyone from that explosion.

He is a more powerful warlock than I realized.

"Hello, boys! Welcome to Fojstar’s best inn. The Blue and the Red. My name is Izzat. I am the owner. It is a pleasure to have you both. Stay as long as you like. I see you brought someone along this time, kid. So, this is your type, huh?"

Huh?

What is she talking about?

"My name is Canny. It is a pleasure to meet you. Bruce told me a lot about this town."

"Bruce?"

"That is me. You can call me Bruce now. I have a name now."

"I gave him that name. He loves it."

Oh, I see.

They are having a good time, are they not?

We went up to our room.

It seems smaller than the last time I stayed here.

I suppose it is because he is with me.

We will be squeezed together in the bed.

I like that.

"It is warmer inside the room. It really is very cold out here. You were not lying."

"That means we will have to stay really close to each other tonight."

"You are getting bolder with the flirting, are you not?"

I kiss him.

I might be getting used to this sort of thing pretty quickly.

We headed toward Kasamba’s tavern.

I was happily showing him around.

Pointing out all the places I used to visit when I lived here.

"The city really comes alive at night. Especially inside the mountain's core. During the day, most people hang out at the open market. There are warlocks and artifacts everywhere."

He smiles at me.

He had not let go of my hand since we started walking.

He was closer to me than usual.

I think he is genuinely cold.

We arrived and stepped into the tavern.

A few regulars were already drinking.

Kasamba greeted us with a hug.

He managed to hug both of us at once.

He has very broad shoulders.

He seat us at a table.

He goes to the bar and grab some beers

Then he joined us.

"Did you have a good trip? These first ones are on the house."

"I have never had a drink before."

"If I were you, I would not. It is extremely dangerous."

"The first time you were here, you had several. Now you want to stop your boyfriend from having fun?"

"Boyfriend? What?" I nearly fell off my chair.

"If my boyfriend does not want me to drink, I guess I would better not."

"No. Boyfriend? No. Yes. Yes. Go ahead and drink. No." I grab the mug and drink the whole thing in one go.

"Take it easy, kid. This time, do not rush to enjoy anything in life. Do everything slowly. A beer tastes better when you drink it slow. Close to the people you care about."

"Bruce."

"What?"

"You do not have to call me kid anymore. My name is Bruce now."

He stands up, goes to the bar, grabs another beer, and sits back down at the table.

"A toast to Bruce! And to... what is your name?"

"You can call me Canny."

"A toast to Bruce and Canny. Now a couple! Hahahaha!"

I get butterflies in my stomach.

But I like the sound of it. "A toast to my boyfriend." I can physically feel my face turning red after saying it out loud.

We drink all night long.

I do not drink too much.

I learned.

I stay conscious the whole time.

I love seeing the look of enjoyment on his face.

He is so genuine.

We leave the bar very late at night.

We are both a bit tipsy.

Leaning on each other.

We walk very slow.

We make our way tumbling along the streets.

Unlike in Azaki, the streets of Fojstar are always lit.

They have at night-life.

This city never sleeps.

Even residential areas.

There are people out walking.

I can not see any stars tonight.

The sky is full of clouds.

I think it might snow.

We arrive at Lake Touseau.

Ever since I found out that couples come here for walks, I have wanted to bring someone.

Like a normal thing to do.

Now that I clearly have a boyfriend...

I suppose it is time to act like a normal couple.

We walk along the path circling the lake.

The wind is blowing quite strong.

We sit on a bench to look at the lake.

I wish I could see the moon.

He rests his head on my shoulder.

We are sitting very close together.

It is freezing cold.

"When I lived here, I used to see so many couples walking by. I always wanted to do it too. I guess I should have picked a day that was not this cold."

"This is fine. I can stay closer to you. You have a natural warmth that keeps me cozy."

"I am sorry for putting you in an awkward spot when Kasamba called us a couple."

"I do not mind at all. I have heard that from my sisters so many times. And I like the sound of it."

"I like it too."

He falls asleep.

I like this pace.

Slow.

I think the alcohol is still having an effect on me.

I think I am getting used to things.

I should probably stop thinking about it all the time.

I put him onto my back.

He is heavy.

His body is a bit bigger than mine.

I can carry him.

I did not wake him up.

I walk through the streets carrying him.

It is daylight now.

We are snuggled close together in bed.

It is wonderfully warm and comfortable.

I do not have a headache.

I think I am learning to drink responsibly.

He is still fast asleep.

Since it was his first time, I imagine he will wake up feeling bad.

We arrived at the monument built in honor of those who fought in the war.

A stone with thousands of inscribed names.

All those who passed away during those ten years.

Many of us are still alive.

Their struggle was not in vain.

Our struggle was not in vain.

This stone became the foundation for building a better future.

I am certain, despite the hard times, I can look toward the future.

Happy.

I am excited to face whatever lies ahead.

Hopefully, many, many happy things.

I have a man that I love.

I have made many friends along the way.

I found friends I thought I had lost.

I kneel down.

Using fire magic, I carve three more names: Aminah Amin, Affy Amin, and Roger Sami.

"Mom, Grandma, Roger. I am no longer alone. I have someone to look after me. You can finally rest in peace. We can all be at peace now."