Chapter 3: Trust and Friendship

Without a mission and possibly without a home, Asa stands frozen in the south wing hallway, the polearm at her feet as her chest heaves with shallow breaths. She doesn’t know what's worse: her home Ba’atan truly disappearing, or her closest ally who she grew up with in Ba’atan treating it as a joke. Asa’s heart pounds thunderously in her chest–guilt, betrayal, skepticism, and dread swirling in her thoughts and leaving her breathless– but despite her spiralling thoughts, a ray of hope shines through that maybe she was misunderstanding their whole interaction. After all, for what could Bam suddenly betray her? Asa knows better than anyone that Bam loves Ba'atan.

Then, she remembers something that ceases her spiral: the way Bam’s smile withered when she said Ba’atan was gone. Even someone as cunning and sly as Bam couldn’t bring herself to lie with a smile about such a tragedy. Resolving that she has not been betrayed, at the very least, Asa’s heart drops as the only other possibility weighs heavily in her mind: Ba’atan is gone. Asa knows in her heart that Ba’atan could not disappear so easily, but her instincts must be trusted more–Bam was not lying. Questions of how and what to do next spin quickly in her mind, but before Asa could ruminate even more, the sound of her name being called pulls her out of her head.

“Asa! Asa, are you okay? Asa!” Hoen calls out.

Asa turns to find the men all gathered behind her, their expressions ranging from concern to skepticism, most of them in between. She apologizes, “I'm sorry, I got distracted.”

Hoen asks Asa calmly, “What will you do?”

Asa hesitates before replying, “I don’t know.”

Toge cuts through the subdued atmosphere, yelling in disbelief, “Do you believe anything that woman said?”

Asa frowns as she turns to Toge and responds, “Her honor is everything–she’s nothing if not prideful–”

Toge scoffs, cutting her off, “And how do you know that? You seemed to know each other but she’s clearly your enemy, right? Everything about her was shady. And for the record, I’m only trusting you for now because you fought on our side back there.”

Hoen cuts in, “Where was all your judgment toward Asa after she held you captive with your own sword?”

Shou turns away, stifling a chuckle, and Wen chides him in a low whisper, “Shou!”

Unable to come up with a retort, Toge looks away and grumbles frustratedly to himself.

Then, Hoen turns to Asa and calmly asks, “Why do you trust that woman–Bam, I think you called her?”

Asa responds, “She didn’t give me a reason not to.”

At that, Hoen leans down to see her face more clearly, his expression neutral with his head tilted to the side in curiosity, and says, “Did she not? It seemed like she was playing with you.”

Asa responds, “Probably.”

Hoen and his aides all look at her silently, Hoen’s expression carefully neutral as he thinks, Toge slack-jawed in disbelief, Wen wide-eyed, and Shou maintaining his token listlessness. After some silence, Wen asks gently, “Probably? As in you think she probably was playing with you, Asa?”

Asa nods with an affirmative hum and Shou follows up plainly, “Yet you trust her anyways.”

Asa nods again, humming in affirmation.

Another long silence takes over the hall, the men all staring at Asa as if she were an alien. Then, Toge asks her “Why, though? You two may have history, but how about you give us one good reason we can trust anything she said.”

Asa is silent for a moment as she formulates a response before she says, “Her smile faltered.”

The men all wait in silence for her to elaborate but when she doesn’t Wen awkwardly clears his throat and gently asks, “And that makes her trustworthy, Asa?”

Asa frowns deeply, falling silent once more for a moment before she replies, “...She could not lie–not about that. She is nothing if not prideful, never showing softness, yet her smile faltered when she said Ba’atan was gone. I could tell she was forcing it.”

Hoen speaks, his brow furrowed as he tries to clarify, “She attacked you, though. Even if she was telling the truth, is that not betrayal?”

To everyone’s surprise and confusion, Asa simply replies, “No.”

The men all look at each other, at a loss for how to continue the conversation when each answer they receive is stranger than the last. After yet another moment of silence, Wen asks, “What would count as a betrayal to you, Asa?”

Asa replies immediately with a scowl, “To do something so unbecoming of her as to abandon her honor would be the ultimate betrayal. I don’t believe she’d lie to me, especially not about that. However, she is hiding something.” Asa looks down the hallway where Bam disappeared earlier, her brow still furrowed but in contemplation rather than frustration. “...I can only imagine what she’s going through to have to hide something from me.”

Asa’s answer and wistful stare down the hall only brings up more questions for everyone, confusion showing on their faces as they struggle to understand her thinking. Hoen frowns softly, but before he can ask what he’s thinking, Shou asks her plainly with the same listless expression he always has, “How do you know if she’s abandoned her honor or not?”

Hoen and the other retainers look at Shou with mild surprise that he’s taken enough interest to ask a question, but Hoen quickly focuses on Asa again and adds on his thoughts, “Exactly. You said yourself that she was hiding something despite the fact that she was meant to report information to you–why would she only tell the truth about one thing yet hide everything else from you? I think she’s misleading you–”

Asa turns back to them and cuts Hoen off bitterly with a scowl, “If I cannot trust myself enough to believe that I know her as I do then I might as well trust nothing at all. As long as she wears her earrings, I know she has her reasons. No Ba’ata would keep their earrings and lie to me.” Surprised by her anger, the group falls silent once more.

Eventually, Toge gruffly clears his throat and says, “...so what do you think her reasons are, then?”

Asa scowls deeply, glancing back down the hall silently for a long moment before she shakes her head, turning back to the group with a less severe expression. She says carefully, the words sounding unsure even to herself, “This is a test.”

Hoen sighs softly, seeing she won’t be convinced otherwise, and acquiesces gently, “Alright, so she’s testing you. What are you going to do, Asa?”

Asa falls silent, her frown deepening as she looks down at the floorboards in thought.

“What else can I do but go home and find out the truth?” Asa says weakly.

The group looks at her with sympathy, Hoen stepping forward and saying, “May we assist you in that endeavor?”

Asa looks up at him with wide eyes. “...assist me?”

The men share a look before nodding, Hoen continuing, “Yes. We’re very interested in the current state of Ba’atan, as well, since the fires on the mountains. However, we’ve been unable to find a guide up the mountain and we didn’t want to dishonor your traditions.”

Asa feels her heart swell with gratitude, both at the group’s respect for Ba’atan traditions–outsiders are not allowed on the mountain unless escorted directly by a guide from Ba’atan–and for their willingness to help her in her search for answers. Of course, the fires on the mountains had greatly concerned her when they occurred months ago but she had been unable to leave her post in Naiténoza–or so she thought. Now that she’s been relieved of her duties, she has the chance to properly investigate. In any case, it would be wrong for Asa not to repay their kindness they’ve extended to her thus far. Asa’s mind is made up the moment Hoen finishes his words and she nods at him.

“Very well. We will be helping each other yet again,” she says to Hoen.

Hoen smiles and nods back, pleased now that their alliance is solidified. Wen lets out a deep breath and says, “Well, I’m glad that worked out.”

“We’ll need to go back to Sehchoh first, though,” Shou adds.

“Yeah,” Toge grunts,” let’s finish up looking around the south wing and meet Jaemi outside. He’s gotta get caught up on a lot.”

And so the group continues down the hallway past the gardens in the south wing proper and searches all the rooms, finding nothing of note and no sign of anyone–Bam included, though Asa expected this. As they begin to set out from the palace into the gardens to check the detached rooms, the weight of the keys still in Asa’s pocket reminds her of what she intended to do before they left.

“I have some things to do,” Asa says, already turning around and heading back inside, “I'll meet you all at the north entrance.”

“Do you need help?” Hoen offers.

Asa’s instinct is to decline, but she clenches her fists and fights her discomfort, unable to turn around as she forces out a soft, “...please.”

Hoen nods and everyone agrees on where to meet. Hoen’s aides go to the detached rooms in the southern gardens to finish their search of the palace as Hoen follows behind Asa, leaving considerable space between them. They walk through the halls in silence at first but then Hoen speaks up, watching Asa closely.

“You seem close with King Inei. Am I wrong?” Hoen asks casually.

Asa freezes in place, Hoen right behind her. She's silent for a long time before she quietly admits, “No, you aren’t wrong.”

Muscles tense and feeling the weight of Hoen’s gaze, Asa waits for an attack, but is met with only silence as Hoen’s stare pierces through her. Then, Hoen says, “Even knowing his reputation?”

Asa can only nod, her voice caught in her throat.

“I see,” Hoen responds simply.

Asa swallows thickly and braces herself for disdain or ire from the man who cut down her friend–the ‘foolish’, ‘useless’, ‘haughty’ King Inei–before she turns around and is met with a shocking sight. Hoen is bowing deeply, his head hanging low.

“I’m truly sorry. If only I’d thought of another way in the moment, you would not have lost your friend.”

“...you’re sorry?” Asa asks skeptically.

Hoen stands up again. “I said it before, didn’t I?” He says, “We truly didn’t mean for any harm to come to anyone when we came here. We aren’t sure which side started the fires outside but when King Inei noticed the flames he challenged me to a duel. I tried to dissuade him, but he would not listen. I thought I should tell you before any of my aides.”

Upon hearing the new information, Asa’s heart drops but she nods in understanding. This is exactly the path stubborn King Inei would’ve taken and Asa knows this well despite hoping it would never happen. After a moment of silence, Asa nods again and says, “I understand. Please, do not feel bad. It was unavoidable, after all.”

Hoen’s eyebrows raise in surprise at Asa’s response, but instead of asking the question that came to mind he says, “Thank you for your grace…”

He’s silent for a second before he adds, “Are we going to the throne room?”

Asa nods and says, “And I have to go back to the reception room, but I need to make sure he is honored in his death. He cannot stay there.”

Hoen nods, understanding immediately what Asa means. They walk the rest of the way to the throne room in comfortable silence. When they arrive, Asa’s face scrunches involuntarily at the sight of Inei’s body, but she is comforted slightly by his position–on his back with his arms at his sides thanks to Hoen earlier. Asa goes to Inei’s head and lifts him into a sitting position before hoisting him up with her arms hooked underneath his. Slightly shocked by the ease someone Asa’s stature could lift the dead weight, Hoen grabs Inei’s legs without asking and they begin to carry the body out of the throne room.

“To his bed,” Asa says, and Hoen nods, following Asa’s lead.

They lay Inei in his bed and Asa begins to wrap and cover him in his furs and blankets before steepling her hands and bowing her head slightly at his bedside. Hoen watches on silently until she finishes and they make their way to the reception room.

“May I ask what you were doing?” Hoen asks.

“I was wishing for his safe and restful passage back into the earth. It is a Ba’ata tradition, but I kept it short for now,” Asa answers.

“Ah. And wrapping him in his bed is also a Ba’ata tradition?” Hoen adds.

“No, we usually bury the dead directly in the earth and mark a tree with furs at their head, but I cannot bury him now. I have a duty to you to fulfill. I will come back,” Asa says.

This gives Hoen pause. “...but won’t the body decay? Can’t your duty wait?”

Asa stops and turns to him. “Can it?” she asks, “My duty is to you. I can deal with the body later, I am used to the dead.”

Hoen shakes his head and puts his hand on Asa’s shoulder. “Please,” he implores, “bury him. I would like him to have a proper burial as well.”

Asa stares at Hoen for a moment before she nods and says, “Then please go to meet with the others. I would like to send him off by myself.”

“I understand,” Hoen assures her, “I will send Shou to the northern entrance to escort you to our camp. Take as long as you need.”

With that, Hoen turns around and goes to meet the others where they agreed and Asa returns to Inei’s bedroom and takes his body to the southern gardens, the sun almost set and casting a peaceful red glow across the land. She first lights a fire in the groundskeeper’s hut and lights the lanterns in the gardens around a large tree. Then, she returns to find a shovel and digs a hole underneath the tree, the sun having long since set by the time she finishes. After setting Inei in the grave and replacing the dirt, Asa kneels by the tree with her hands steepled for a long while, the flames flickering out one by one from when she last relit the coals. When the last flame flickers out, Asa stands and relights it before she goes back to the groundskeeper’s hut for a hammer and nails, marking the large tree with one of Inei’s furs wrapped around the trunk. Asa lingers at Inei’s grave for a moment before taking a lantern back with her through the palace to Inei’s bedroom.

She sets down her lantern before using one of the keys that Hoen got for her from Inei’s robes to unlock a drawer at his bedside, revealing a locked leather journal. She takes it and a candle with her when she leaves and goes to the north exit. She finds Shou with a lantern of his own and nods at him. Shou nods back silently and takes her to their camp, leading her to a tent for her to sleep in for the night.

“We’ll have a meeting in the morning,” Shou says before he leaves Asa alone with Inei’s journal and a small lantern.

Asa contemplates opening Inei’s journal, her fingers running delicately over lock, but when she takes the keys out of her pocket she hesitates, her hands shaking. She carefully selects the correct key and brings it to the lock but her hand freezes before she can insert and turn it, her mind flooding with the image of Inei’s body and the grave she dug just moments before. The keys fall from her hand unwittingly and she looks down at her lap, trembling fiercely. Asa swallows down the lump in her throat before stuffing the keys forcefully back into her pocket and hiding the journal underneath her pillow on the cot, standing up to pace the room with her hands clenching and unclenching rhythmically. Beyond confused by herself, Asa pauses and takes a deep breath, not realizing how much she needs the air until she does it, and when she wipes her face her hands come back damp with sweat. Asa sits on the cot again and takes deep breaths until her trembling subsides, only laying down once the light from the lantern flickers out, turning restlessly until she finally falls asleep late into the night.