The Day Our Secret Got revealed

It has been eleven months since Sara and I met.

Eleven months since this strange cohabitation started, and somehow, we made it to our second final exams. The teachers announced the dates today, so Sara and I fell back into our old routine — the low table in the living room, two notebooks, and her telling me to focus every five minutes.

But I couldn't focus.

Every time I thought about the exams, another thought slipped in right behind it. Ren. 

Ren is going to confess to Sara.

I know it. Everyone knows it. He has liked her since the first year. And if he confesses, Sara won't live like this anymore. She will start avoiding me. Or she will look at me and say, coldly, that I should stop getting close to her. 

And that will be it. That will be how we end.

I think I knew this ending from the very start.

"Aoto, what are you thinking?" 

Sara's voice snapped me back. She was staring at me, her pen stopped over her notes.

I blinked. "Um, nothing. I just got distracted."

"Don't get distracted right now. Focus on your studies first!" she said, flicking my forehead lightly with her pen.

"Yeah, sure I will," I said, rubbing my forehead.

We studied for another hour until she finally closed her book and told me to go to sleep. I actually listened to her for once. I went to my room and lay down, but sleep didn't come.

My chest felt heavy. A strange, tight feeling was running through my whole body. I stared at the ceiling and could only think about two things on loop.

What if Ren doesn't confess to Sara?

What if I confess my real feelings to her?

Then I remembered that day in the kitchen, when Sara said with a completely straight face, "If you ever tell me you like me or something like that, I will definitely reject you."

So it's better not to say anything. It's better to let the world go the way it wants to go.

I was still staring at the ceiling when I heard it. My door creaked.

It opened slowly, and Sara was standing there in her pajamas, her hair slightly messy from studying.

"You didn't sleep yet, right, idiot?" she said.

I immediately shut my eyes and pretended to be asleep. I even started fake snoring.

It didn't work.

"Why aren't you sleeping?" she said, walking closer. She knew I was faking.

I gave up and opened one eye. "Why aren't you sleeping?"

"I just woke up after taking a small nap," she said.

"Then why did you come here?" I asked.

She looked away, a little embarrassed. "I just wanted to check if you are sleeping or not."

I sighed. "Oh, I just... you taught me many things today, maybe that's why I have a very strong headache right now."

It was a lie. I said it so she wouldn't ask me anything else.

Her expression changed instantly.

"You want medicine for your headache or want me to give you a good massage?" she asked.

"Medicine would be good," I said quickly.

She nodded and went to her room to get medicine. And the moment she left, I realized I actually did have a headache. A strong, throbbing one. I was lying to her so she wouldn't worry, but now I was actually in pain.

She came back with a glass of water and a small pill. I took it. After I swallowed it, she didn't leave. Instead, she sat down on the edge of my bed and patted her lap.

"Here," she said, tapping her lap.

I stared at her. "What?"

"You can put your head here. I'll give you a massage too if you really have a strong headache," she said, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

"No, I am all good, thanks for asking," I said, my face already heating up.

And at the exact moment I said that, she grabbed my head — not roughly, but firmly — and pulled it down onto her lap and started gently patting my hair.

"Hey, it's kinda embarrassing! Don't you feel embarrassed?" I said, my voice cracking.

"There is no one to feel embarrassed in front of. And why are you embarrassed?" she said, looking down at me.

"Yeah, there is no one, still I am embarrassed because I am sleeping in your lap."

She smiled, that small, teasing smile she only shows when she is winning. "I remember that you already have slept in my lap one time, right?"

In my head, I thought, *Yeah, yeah, tease me as much as you want. Because after finals, we are going to be strangers again, just like we became strangers after we got separated when we were kids.*

"So, are you going to sleep or just looking at me?" she asked.

My whole face turned red. I couldn't look at her anymore, so I closed my eyes and pretended to fall asleep. Her fingers were in my hair, soft and warm, and before I knew it, the fake sleep became real.

When I woke up, Sara was standing right in front of me. She had changed out of her pajamas into a neat dress, her bag on her shoulder.

I sat up quickly. "Why are you standing here?"

She replied, "I have to attend the wedding of my cousin."

"Oh, so when will you go?" I asked.

"I have to go right now, but I waited for you to tell you," she said.

I nodded. "Oh, then you should leave?"

She didn't move. She looked at me for a long second and said, "I'll be back in a week and you have to call me everyday and tell me about everything you did each day."

"Everyday? Don't worry, I'll be okay," I said.

"That's what I am scared of. You never take care of yourself. That's why I rejected going to the wedding at first, but my parents forced me to attend it," she said, her voice quieter now.

I finally understood. She was worried about me.

"Oh, okay. I will call you everyday," I said.

Then, before I could say anything else, she leaned forward and hugged me.

Hug!!

"Whooah whoa whoa!! You just hugged me??" I shouted, completely frozen.

She pulled back slightly and looked up at me. "Any problem?"

"No, I was just... got confused," I said.

"Don't make stupid thoughts in your mind," she said, and then she left for the wedding.

Now I am alone in this apartment.

After a few hours, my tiny apartment started feeling strangely big. It wasn't because there was more space. It was because there was only me. I wasn't smelling the faint scent of her shampoo, or hearing her humming in the kitchen, or hearing her complain about my socks. The apartment felt empty.

And then my phone rang. I saw it was from Sara. I picked it up and she shouted immediately.

"Why didn't you call me today, idiot??"

I laughed. "I guess you left the house 4 hours ago, not 4 years ago."

"Still, I told you to call me everyday. Have you eaten anything?" she said, still sounding angry but also worried.

"I was thinking to make something," I said.

"I already made some food for you. They are in the refrigerator. You just have to use the microwave and make them hot," she said.

"You really made food for me even though you aren't here?"

"See how much I care about you and you don't even think about me for a second!!!" she yelled.

"Oh well, I was thinking about you today from morning," I said.

"I don't think so," she replied.

"I was thinking about you and it's dependent on you if you want to accept it or not," I said.

There was a small pause on the other side, then she said, softer, "Okay, I'll call you at night again. Better if you pick it up in seconds."

"Sure, I will."

After that call ended, I got another call. This time it was from Ikkun. I picked up.

"Aoto, do you want to go somewhere?" he asked.

"Where?" I asked.

"Think of it like a date," he said with a laugh.

And I started thinking about that day when I and Sara went for a shopping date, or whatever you call that. We fought over which curry to buy, and she made me carry all the bags.

Then I thought, Sara isn't here, and if I invite Ikkun over, maybe I can finally clean up this messy place before she comes back.

"Wanna come to my place?" I said.

He said, "Your mom won't mind?"

"No, she won't mind," I said.

I sent him my location and he arrived in the evening. He entered my house and sat on the sofa and looked around at the two mugs on the table, the two pairs of slippers, the hair tie on the couch.

And then he said with a grin,

"So you really are living with Tachibana, right, Aoto?"