Chapter 12 : The banquet after three shady decades

Soon after we returned, Taron refused to let us sleep. He had prepared a real feast. A few days before, he had left Argemira to get supplies in Mistmushroom and two nearby villages. So he had planned to celebrate our victory before we were even sure that we had survived.

"I call it tying up resources before you've even made a profit," Silas said.

"He calls it believing in us," Kellan translated.

Blocks of stone were lined up to form a long table. The smell of spicy groinio meat and grilled mushrooms made the ruins almost welcoming.

I sat next to Aria so she could stretch her leg out on my thigh. Kellan has taken his place on the other side. Silas sat close enough to the dishes to monitor their contents, while Milo went to join Opaline and Taron.

Kellan lifted the jar that served us as a glass.

"Let's toast to this victory!"

Taron examined his own ship.

"What does it mean to 'drink at'?"

"We clink glasses before drinking," Milo explained, pointing to the gesture. "It's a ritual in our house."

"Like this?" asked Taron, raising his pot in the air.

"Perfect."

We imitated him. The pots and pans clattered awkwardly above the table, soon covered by conversation.

Kellan waited for the noise to subside.

"I can't wait to see you all again. But this time, with my sister. »

"You've talked about her so much that she's already part of the band without knowing it," I replied.

"Convincing her will not be easy. She finds herself in an unknown world, surrounded by strangers and accused of a crime. Asking him to trust anyone is probably pure madness. »

"She seems to have a good head on her shoulders for her age," Aria remarked. "You can be proud of her."

Kellan's face lit up immediately. There was something younger and simpler in his eyes than the anxiety that had been gnawing at him for days.

"And how! I love it very much. She is more perceptive than some adults, but she remains fragile, even when she tries to hide it. That's why I have to find her. »

Aria looked down at her plate. The way he talked about his sister must have reminded him of Tobias. My hand moved almost on its own on the table, then stopped just before touching his. I simply pushed away the dish she was staring at without even looking closer.

She thanked me with a look.

"She reminds me of a younger friend," I continued. "The sister of someone who meant a lot to me. She was able to do some of my homework while she was still in middle school. I am sure they would have gotten along well. »

"Maybe. But my sister was never very comfortable with girls her age. She preferred to hang out with the boys. »

I looked for my friend's face in my memories. Nothing was clear. I knew that we had spent a lot of time together, that she meant a lot to me, and that her brother had been one of the most important people in my life. And yet, their features faded every time I tried to catch them. I also knew that they were dead. Even that... I had forgotten the cause.

"Kellan, I was wondering... Why do you have this compass? Aria asked, raising her head. "How can she know your sister's position? Everything was taken from us. And it takes serious programming knowledge to make something like that, right? »

Kellan pulled the compass out of the inside pocket of his jacket. The object fit almost entirely in his palm, but its importance was enough to attract all eyes.

"That's what I told Silas too. I don't know how it ended up among my belongings, or who made it. She's definitely not my sister, let alone me. We're both bad at DIY. »

"Maybe the 404," I suggested. "But I don't see why he would have helped you."

Kellan looked down at the compass, as if the object could give him an answer just by being looked at.

"When I think of someone who is good with machines, it reminds me of something. But the memories go no further. »

"I hope you find her in time," Aria said.

"And if you meet her before me, I'm counting on you."

"What's his name?" I asked.

"She will inevitably give our last name: Falken. Let's keep the element of surprise. »

"You're not making it easy for us," Aria remarked.

At the other end of the table, Opaline watched Milo with growing skepticism. The more he spoke, the more his face closed, as if each new explanation made his story less believable in his eyes.

"In our world, you can talk to someone on the other side of the planet," he insisted. "Tell him I'm not making this up, Kellan."

"You mean the phones?" asked Kellan.

"Yes," Milo confirmed.

"Of course," Kellan continued. "You can send messages instantly, take photos to capture a landscape or person, watch videos and even play games."

"Like a letter?" asked Opaline.

"Except that it comes almost immediately," Milo replied.

Opaline looked at him for a moment, as if she were looking in his face for proof of a joke.

"You're laughing at me."

"Ask Casimir."

All eyes turned to me, imbued with an expectation that I had not solicited. I would have preferred to stay out of this demonstration, but it was a little late to pretend not to know anything about the subject.

"That's true," I confirmed. "Distance doesn't prevent communication as long as the devices are connected to a network."

This clarification didn't really help. Opaline seemed even more lost, and I immediately understood that the word "network" had only added a layer of absurdity to an explanation that was already far from it.

Silas leaned over her, obviously determined to provide a more appropriate explanation.

"In short, someone has created a very powerful weapon and cast a spell on it: the Internet. Thanks to this magic, you can do almost anything. Even create a remote business. »

Opaline's eyes widened.

"Seriously?"

"So it was this explanation that convinced you?" I asked.

"It's more realistic and logically simpler."

No. Opaline.

The banquet continued thus. Milo turned into an improvised professor, though his explanations became less and less believable as he emptied his pot. Silas, on the other hand, interpreted each invention as a spell or an opportunity to enrich himself further.

Meanwhile, Aria watched Opaline's reactions with a smile she didn't even try to hide anymore. Seeing her discover our world through Milo's rough summaries and Silas' self-serving interpretations seemed to amuse her far more than she cared to admit.

My attention was always focused on Aria, without my needing to think about it. Each change of position awakened his pain. When her jar was empty, I filled it before she even asked. She simply thanked me, as if this gesture had become a habit.

Hearing them laugh, I found it hard to accept that each of us could have committed an act serious enough to be sent to the operating room.

I didn't want to know what Aria had done. Specifically, I didn't want this memory to change the way she perceived herself, or the way I perceived her. The idea that this could take him away from us seemed unbearable to me.

I tried to explain it by his place within the clan and by the promise we made to each other.

None of these reasons were quite enough.

After the banquet, Aria decided to prolong the victory in her own way.

We sat away from the others, above the stairs that descended into the ruined city. Behind us, the last voices faded, swallowed up by the corridors and the stone. The party was still in full swing somewhere, but here all that was left was the cold air, the worn steps, and the distant glow of the camp.

Aria kept her leg stretched out on the stone. Her wound forced her to remain still, but she had found a way to transform this constraint into a royal posture.

"Will you bow to me?" she asked.

I slowly turned my head towards her.

I already regret everything.

"One day, I will regret everything I have entrusted to you."

"There's no going back. You are committed. »

"Wasn't carrying your provisions enough?"

His smile widened, with that quiet satisfaction which seldom announced anything reasonable.

"I am hurt and yet I still have to watch over you. I would like you to bow down and show me that you are still devoted to me. »

She asked me to play, but she was really waiting for my answer. Nothing prevented me from refusing. Nothing, except that part of me that knew full well that its pleasure was already taking precedence over my pride.

So, gathering all the dignity I had left, I stood up and knelt down in front of her. This movement immediately tugged at my shoulder, barely remembering that we had just argued. Nevertheless, I lowered my head.

Aria closed her eyes, her chin slightly raised, as if she was savoring the moment with a perfectly excessive seriousness.

"That's it. I already feel much better. »

"Happy to contribute to your recovery."

"You can be."

She raised her head and immediately moved her leg with a much greater ease than she had shown three seconds before. She bent her knee slightly, worked her ankle, and then leaned on it as if my intervention had truly accomplished a miracle. When she looked back at me, she had regained that expression of satisfaction that I knew so well.

I sat up carefully and took my place next to her. But his amusement was almost enough to make the scene less ridiculous. Almost.

"I must be a nuisance."

"Sometimes."

"You were supposed to reassure me," she protested.

"I can do it without lying. It bothers me less than you think. »

Aria was silent for a moment. Her attention was drawn to the steps that descended before us, and when she spoke again, her voice had lost its lightness.

"You're doing all this because you know I need it," she said.

"That's already a good reason."

I could have replied that letting her decide was also a relief for me. She already knew it. Still, the way she phrased it raised a question that I had never thought of before.

Did she stay with me because it was me... Or simply because what I brought her corresponded to what she needed?

The idea seemed so stupid to me that I rejected it almost immediately.

Her fingers tightened around her knee.

"For a long time, I was the one who gave in," she whispered. "The one that we interrupted or abandoned because we knew that it would not defend itself. With you, I discovered what it was like to take your place without having to fight to keep it. »

A tear rolled down his cheek. She wiped it off at once.

Her voice had lost all the lightness it had just a few minutes before. What she called a failure had nothing to do with what I had seen on the ground.

"No one had thought of it."

"You did it. You wanted me to retire because you didn't think you could count on me anymore. »

"You couldn't stand on your leg anymore. Continuing would have aggravated your wound. »

She was silent for a moment. I understood then that we were no longer talking only about his wound.

"And now you will take over the command."

We were there. Less than an evening had passed since her date, and I was already looking for the flaw in the agreement I had proposed to her. I knew it would hurt her. I also knew that avoiding the subject for fear of hurting her would be even more cowardly.

It was going to be complicated. Very complicated. But I had to do it for her as much as for the others.

"During the fighting, yes."

The answer struck her more than I had imagined. His face closed immediately, as if these few words had just erased everything I had given him before.

"You told me that you really chose me. At the first failure, you already take back what you gave me. »

"I don't take back everything I said. Only the responsibility that I think I can better assume. »

"The only one that really matters."

That's what really hurt her. Not to lose the right to give an order in the middle of a fight, but to see the first place she had obtained without having to fight for it disappear.

"No. The one that requires us to keep an overview when one of us is in danger. Facing the golems, you left your position as soon as Ruberyth touched me. Then, when Emerolyth wounded you, you refused to retreat. »

"I was trying to protect you."

"I know. You look at people first, not positions on a plane. And that is precisely why I need you. But sometimes leading a battle means letting someone take risks. »

"And you can do that?"

I thought back to Albert and how I had stopped thinking when he had pounced on her. I would be wrong to pretend that I have always kept my cool.

"I can at least look for a way to intervene without abandoning others. Preparing for the fight and adapting the plan in case of a problem, that's more how I see it. »

"So you're better than me."

"On a battlefield... Probably. »

This word displeased me as much as it displeased her. There was something brutal, almost unfair, but I couldn't leave this responsibility to him just to preserve his pride. Not after what I had just seen. Not if it would force her to stand while her body begged her to stop.

"Very good," she whispered. "You will give the orders and I will keep an empty title."

This time, I refused to let her reduce what I had confided to her to a simple line above my name.

"This title is by no means meaningless, you remain the leader of the group. You will decide the path to follow, who can reach us, and the limits we refuse to cross. You will see to it that those who accompany us never become mere pawns in my plans. »

Aria finally looked up at me. She was still looking for the flaw in my words, but her anger had given way to a more cautious, almost anxious attitude.

"You are resuming battles, but will you continue to obey me the rest of the time?"

"I don't obey you just because you lead the clan. I do it because I chose you. »

She took the time to weigh my answer. Not like when she tried to put my back against the wall, but as if she wanted to make sure that each word would keep all its relevance once the emotion had subsided.

"Entirely?" she asked.

"Couldn't you have chosen a less alarming word?"

"No."

"So yes."

A breath escaped me in spite of myself. The word had come out lower than expected, but it had crossed my lips. Aria greeted him without smiling immediately. Her fingers closed on my hand, and this simple pressure made me understand that she had not taken my answer lightly.

"Very good. On the battlefield, you'll make plans and make urgent decisions. I can contradict you, but the last tactical word will belong to you. »

"That's what I'm proposing."

"On the other hand, if you carry everything on your shoulders until you are exhausted, you will regret it. As soon as the fight is over, you will belong to me again. »

"Very good."

"It's not enough."

"What more do you want?"

His voice lost all trace of lightness. Even the satisfaction she had derived from my concessions seemed to vanish, leaving only a more serious sensation.

"The right to stop when you go too far. To decide for you when you are no longer able to recognize your own limitations. And if you ever consider sacrificing your life because it seems effective to you, you will have to ask my permission first. »

"Aria..."

"Your life belongs to me. I won't let you ruin it because you decided it was the best solution. Do you want to take over the fighting? So agree to give me everything that happens outside of these fights. »

Even when she no longer had control over my decisions on the field, she wanted to retain enough authority to keep me from disappearing. This thought should have frightened me. Instead, she only reinforced my desire to reassure her.

"Very good. I entrust my life to you. »

"It's not clear enough."

I understood what she wanted: a promise that she could brandish under my nose the day I started wearing everything alone again.

"Very good. My life belongs to you. I will not sacrifice myself without your agreement. »

His hand went up to my face, stopped before touching me, then came back to rest on my fingers.

"So I promise you that I will never use what you tell me to break or diminish you. When the burden becomes too heavy, you will give it to me, and I will watch over you. »

"Isn't that what you were doing at the beginning of this conversation?"

His seriousness has cracked slightly.

"Because I love seeing you at my feet every once in a while, I know it could get unhealthy if I forgot why you're doing it. So I will always ask you. If you bow to me, I want it to be by choice. That's our balance, Casimir. »

"Okay."

"Very well, who?"

I gave in.

"Yes, Aria."

Her smile finally returned, more sweet than triumphant, as if this answer had repaired something she had not wanted to name.

"Would you bow to me again?"

"Isn't a handshake enough?"

"You have just taken away part of my authority. I believe that I am entitled to compensation. »

This time, I didn't protest. I knelt down in front of her, aware that I was giving her back more than just a gesture, and then I bowed my head.

Aria held her breath. Her hand landed delicately on my hair, far from the confidence she had displayed a few moments before. This gesture was no longer a game. He almost trembled with importance, as if she feared that too sudden a movement would be enough to break the fragile agreement we had just concluded.

"Is that okay with you?" I asked.

"Yes..."

His fingers trembled slightly in my hair. This time, his satisfaction did not entirely explain his silence.

"There's something I don't understand," she whispered. "For your Passive, it probably would have been enough for me to look like I was leading the clan."

"That's what was agreed."

"So why go so far for me? You have just entrusted your life to me and you agree to stay at my feet simply because I ask you to. »

Damn then. Why?

Why was I doing all this? It wasn't supposed to be my thing. Not to that extent. Initially, I just wanted to stop carrying all the responsibilities and all the important decisions as if they were entirely mine. I wanted to be able to breathe. Lean a little on someone else.

Since when had I gone this far with Aria?

I looked for a reasonable answer. I could have spoken of confidence, fatigue, the relief I felt when she decided for me.

But there was something else I couldn't really ignore anymore.

His smile.

Aria came back into my thoughts without me having to invite her. I noticed her absence almost immediately, instinctively looked for where she was in the middle of a group, and when I finally imagined leaving the Bloc, she was still there.

I wanted to please him. Not only because letting her decide was a relief, but also because her happiness had ultimately mattered much more than I had admitted.

His fingers continued to slide through my hair. I couldn't see his face, my eyes still glued to the ground, but his gestures had changed. They had become slower, more delicate, as if she was looking for something in each of his caresses.

"Casimir... You didn't fall in love with me, did you?"

The answer was imposed with an almost irritating simplicity.

Yes. I loved him. It was obvious.

And, now that I thought about it, it explained a lot of things. This authoritarian side that I would probably have hated in anyone else, I had come to appreciate it in her as well. Aria had understood what I was looking for long before I could express it myself. She liked to get the upper hand; I needed to be able to let go without feeling like I was running away. She had never had to deny herself to take my place.

On the contrary, she had found a way to satisfy her own need without encroaching on mine.

And I admired that about her.

If seeing me at her feet gave her that little victorious air that she loved so much, I could well offer her this pleasure from time to time. At this point, to pretend that I didn't like it too would have been ridiculous, to say the least.

And yet, thinking back to how I felt about her, the question that I had dismissed a little before came up immediately.

Did Aria really want to keep me... Or above all what my obedience brought him?

I preferred not to ask the question. Not yet. My silence probably gave him more information than I would have liked. I opened my mouth, but she immediately put her hand on it.

"No. Don't answer," she said, withdrawing her hand.

"So why ask?"

"Because I wanted to see your reaction."

The darkness of the place did not allow me to clearly distinguish the color of his cheeks.

"And may I know what conclusion you came to?"

Aria took her time before answering.

"Not yet. I want to have confirmation myself first. It will be better that way... for the moment. »

She asked me to stay in front of her a little longer. I accepted. Her fingers resumed their course in my hair with that satisfied softness she used to reward me when I had been docile.

This time, however, I had not obeyed any orders.