The Humanization Project

Day 1 of living with Ikkun.

And Day 1 of being roasted as a full-time job.

I was standing in the bathroom, half-asleep, trying to wash my face with the same cheap shampoo I use for everything, when Ikkun leaned against the doorframe. He stared at me like I was a rare, undiscovered species that scientists had given up on.

"Bro, do you use the same shampoo for your hair and your face?" he asked.

I blinked at him through the foam. "Any problem?"

"Of course there is a problem! You look pathetic, not gonna lie," he said, completely serious.

I frowned. "Are you making fun of me?"

"Yes, because you really look pathetic. I'm not trying to be mean. It's just a factual observation."

I looked down at the floor. I always look down when someone is right and I don't want to admit it.

"And what's with your hair?" he continued. "How many months has it been since you cut it? Five? Six? Did you lose a bet?"

"Five months," I mumbled.

"Are you a high schooler on summer vacation? No — even high schoolers have more self-respect than this."

"Look, I don't want to cut my hair. It's kinda cool," I argued, even though I knew it wasn't.

He laughed. It was not a kind laugh. "Yeah, cool enough to make children cry and girls avoid you on the street. You look like you cut it yourself in the dark to save money."

"I DO cut it myself in the dark... to save money," I said quietly.

He stared at me for a second. "I was joking. You were serious?"

"What's with your dressing sense?" he said, ignoring my trauma.

Before I could answer, he walked straight into my room and threw open my closet. He stood there in silence for three full seconds. Then he started clapping slowly.

"Wow. Just wow. I am impressed. Five t-shirts, five different shades of grey, and four hoodies with anime posters on them. Did you buy these or did someone donate them to you? Amazing collection. Do you own any other color in this world?"

"You don't even have a sense of color?" he added.

"First of all, I am not stylish and I just wanna be average and simple!" I shouted. That was my final defense. My ultimate philosophy.

He turned to me, and for the first time, his teasing voice dropped. He was serious.

"You are not average, Aoto. But I am stylish, and I can't see my best friend living like this."

"Like what?"

"Like a monkey who just got a developed brain and a human form but didn't get the habit of being a human!"

"Bro, that was rude!" I said. It actually hurt a little.

He stayed silent for a moment, then his expression softened again into that annoying grin.

"Don't worry," he said. "I'll make a human from a monkey. Just trust your best friend, hehe?"

"I know you are studying about styles and stuff, but I won't let you cut my hair cause you are not experienced!"

He crossed his arms, confident as always. "I know. Tomorrow we will go to the barber and you just watch how I'll change you. You don't need experience. You need me."

Next Day.

"Aoto, you ready to go to the stylist?" Ikkun said, already at the door with his shoes on.

I was still in bed. "Whatever. You have to tell him how to cut my hair. I don't know about hairstyles."

"I know. Don't worry, I am here. That's literally my job for the next two weeks — to save you from yourself."

We went to the stylist. The place smelled like expensive cologne and looked way too clean for someone like me. Bright lights, big mirrors, handsome people getting handsome haircuts. I felt out of place immediately, like a stray cat who walked into a lion's den.

The stylist smiled professionally. He looked at me, then at Ikkun, and seemed to understand everything without words.

"So, what kind of hairstyle do you want, sir?" he asked me.

Ikkun answered before I could open my mouth. "Just cut his hair neat and clean and make his hair short! Show his forehead. He has been hiding behind his hair for months."

I shouted, "Hey hey, what do you mean by short hair, huh?? How short?!"

Ikkun just laughed, pushing me down into the chair. "You just wait, Aoto, haha!!!! Trust me."

I sat on that black chair, and the black cape went over me. It felt like an execution cape. The scissors started making that terrifying *snip snip* sound right next to my ears.

Hair that I had been growing for five months — through heartbreak, through my exam failure, through my whole 'I don't care what I look like' phase — was falling on the floor in clumps.

I closed my eyes. I refused to look in the mirror.

The Next Day.

"Today we have to go shopping for your clothes. Are you ready, Aoto?" Ikkun asked. He was annoyingly energetic in the morning. I was not.

I hadn't seen myself in the mirror after the haircut because Ikkun had given me a strict order: "Don't look until you're fully done. See yourself only after you dress well and everything is complete. If you look now, you'll panic and ruin my masterpiece."

We went shopping to the mall. He chose some clothes for me — simple white shirts, black straight jeans, a beige overshirt. No anime posters. No grey.

He told me to wear it.

"I have to go to the changing room and I might see myself there because of the big mirror," I said nervously.

He smirked like he had been waiting for this. "Don't worry. See what I have?"

I looked. He was holding a black blindfold in his pocket.

"Wear this and go to the changing room," he said.

"I might fall because of the blindfold!"

"Don't worry, I'll go with you. I will be your eyes."

It was the most ridiculous shopping trip of my life. Ikkun, acting as my human guide dog, led a blindfolded me through a clothing store. I could hear people whispering and laughing. A staff member asked, "Sir, are you okay?"

Ikkun answered, "Yes, he is doing a trust exercise."

After that humiliating hour, we returned home, bags in hand.

Next Day!

He bought me some good products — with my own money! Face wash, body wash, actual separate products. Separate! I didn't even know that was a thing. He looked at my old 3-in-1 bottle and threw it in the trash without asking.

"This is poison. You were washing your dreams with this," he said.

**Day After Tomorrow.**

He changed my entire lifestyle. "You have to sleep at 10 pm and you have to wash your face twice a day. And no more eating instant noodles at 2 am while overthinking about your life."

It was like living with a strict mother who also happens to be your best friend who roasts you for fun.

**After 1 Week.**

I always had to eat vegetables because he told me to eat healthy foods, like he is my personal trainer. I always had to make food for us. I was the cook, the cleaner, the disciple. The roles had reversed.

He would watch me cook and say, "More salt. Less water. Are you trying to kill both of us? Tachibana would be disappointed."

When he said Sara's name, I stopped.

I really, really missed Sara.

The apartment was clean, but it was too quiet without her complaining about me leaving socks on the floor, or her cold "Idiot" when I did something stupid. Ikkun noticed I was staring at her empty room.

"You miss her, huh?" he said.

"No!" I said too fast.

"Your face says yes. Your new haircut says yes. Even your new clothes say yes."

"Aoto!!" Ikkun shouted from the living room one evening, breaking my thoughts.

I sighed. "What now?"

"Guess where we are going today?"

"Where?"

"A piercing shop."

I looked at him with a scared face. My hand instinctively went to my ear. "Why? Why would we go there?"

"Don't worry, I want a piercing. I just don't wanna go alone. You know, for moral support."

"Okayyy then it's fine! As long as it's you!"

We went to the piercing shop. It was small, silver, and smelled like antiseptic. My hands were already sweating and cold.

He pointed to a chair in the middle. "Go sit on that chair."

"Why?"

"Your legs will hurt if you stand for too long! Come on, sit."

That made absolutely no sense, but I was too nervous to argue. I went and sat on that cold chair.

After that, Ikkun came back with a person wearing black gloves and holding a small silver box. The person looked very professional.

Ikkun said to him with a huge smile, "Go on mister, pierce his ears!"

I jumped up so fast the chair fell. "Whaaaat!? Pierce MY ears? What do you mean? Wait — WAIT — YOU LIED TO ME!"

"Don't worry Aoto, it will be fine! It will make you look cooler! Tachibana will like it!" he said, holding my shoulders so I couldn't run.

*Niddles sound!!*

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was a sharp, hot sting. For one second, I saw stars.

Then it was done. A tiny silver stud was shining in my left ear.

Ikkun was laughing so hard he was crying. "You screamed like a little kid!"

**After 2 Weeks.**

The two weeks were finally over. Ikkun had left yesterday evening. He packed his bag, looked at me from head to toe, and nodded.

"Not bad, monkey. You are now... 70% human. Take care of her when she comes back, okay?"

Then he left.

My apartment was quiet again. Too quiet. The products were still lined up in the bathroom. The new clothes were hanging in the closet. The apartment was clean.

Today Sara will return home, I guess. She texted me last night: "Coming back tomorrow. Don't make the apartment dirty, Idiot."

I had finally looked in the mirror this morning, for real, for the first time without a blindfold.

I didn't recognize myself.

My hair was short, neat, textured, falling just right over my forehead. My face was clearer, I could see my own eyes without hair covering them. I was wearing a simple white shirt and clean black jeans — not a single shade of grey. And there was a tiny silver stud in my left ear that caught the light when I moved.

I touched the earring. It still hurt a little.

I still felt like the same nervous, overthinking, accident-prone Aoto inside, but outside... I looked like someone who could actually stand next to Tachibana Sara without embarrassing her.

*Bells rings!!!*

The doorbell rang. My heart started pounding so loud I could hear it in my own ears.

I went to the door and opened it. And I saw Sara there.

She was dragging her small suitcase, looking tired from her trip. Her hair was tied up in a ponytail. She looked at me, blinked once, then took a full step back, her hand still on the handle of her suitcase.

She said, "Um sorry, actually I went to the wrong apartment!" After seeing me. Her face was full of pure confusion.

I was confused. "Eh? Wrong apartment?"

She looked at the number plate — 208 — then at me again, panicked. "But sir, it's apartment number 208 and it's my apartment! This is my apartment!"

"Yeah, it's your apartment," I said, starting to panic.

She frowned, clutching her suitcase tighter like I was a stranger who might steal it. "Then what are you doing here?? Are you a friend of Kagawa or his relative? Did he move out?"

"Eh? What are you trying to say? Sara, it's me."

She raised her voice, genuinely alarmed now, "I am saying that what are you doing in MY apartment?! Who are you?!"

I said, "But it's my apartment too. Wait, aren't you able to recognize me??" I made my classic weird, stupid face — the one that always made her say "Stop that, Idiot" and then try not to laugh.

She took another step back, genuinely scared now. "But who are you?? I never met you before, I guess. Please don't come closer!"

My jaw dropped. All the pain of the haircut, the blindfold, the vegetables, the face wash that burned my eyes, the piercing that made me scream — all of it flashed before my eyes in one second.

I shouted, "I am Kagawa Aoto! I live here with you, Sara! Your Idiot! The idiot who lives with you!"

WHATTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!