III

Charlie wanted to be able to say that he easily devoured the individual and bravely stood up to Don Leonardo. He wanted to see that he was valiant in the attempt, and his bravery stood as an example to all. He wanted to be able to tell people that he was brave.

He did manage to devour the poor defenceless person, and he did fight Don Leonardo. The fight however, lasted about five seconds before he was severely beaten and left in a crumpled mess on the office floor.

He did, however, earn the head of the family's respect. Even better, Hugo was alive.

"You stupid, reckless, sexy, stupid, reckless boy. I could've lost you." Charlie awoke with a groggy head and a feeling that, more than anything else, he wanted to vomit. His vision cleared and he saw Hugo's face, soft and wounded. Charlie put his hand on his cheek.

"I'm okay. Geez, I'm not used to seeing you like this, it's weird."

"Well, sorry if I'm emotional! Sorry if somebody I care deeply about got his insides turned upside down and almost perished. Why would you do that? Why would you do that for me?"

Charlie raised an eyebrow, confused. "Because we're family members now? blood brothers. Everyone hasn't been listening to me when I tell them that I wanna help out or that I would protect people. I'm sick of people acting surprised when I do something that should be obvious to anyone."

"Maybe, darling, but it's not obvious to us. Leonardo was right, you are not meant to be here. I made a mistake and I'm angry now. I can't take it back."

A pang of something sharp ripped through Charlie's chest. "You regret me being here?"

"No! No, that isn't... I'm no good. I was a no-good, selfish rich kid when I was alive and I'm a user of people when I'm dead. I see you, I've got to know you and..."

"You think that because I grew up on the poor side of the city and my daddy used to beat me that somehow I'm not worthy of having a life? What did you want me to do? Spend my day shining people's shoes saying yes sir and no sir and yes ma'am and no ma'am? That might be okay for some people, but you can't put me back in the box now that I've seen what I've seen. Please, don't."

"But what if something happens to you? You may be able to use good defensive magic now, but what if one day it fails you? What if one of the higher-ups asks you to do something and you're conflicted because you're kind and sweet and you just want everyone else to be happy, babycakes? If Leon asked you to slit someone's throat, or the boss asked you to throw somebody from the window, could you do it knowing it was a matter of life and death for you? And for them?"

"What about you?" Charlie said, giving him a light but forceful shove. "That sophisticated Frenchman act only lasted you so long. If I hadn't been there to protect you, you would've been killed! So what if you've been at this much longer than I have? When you're not in a speakeasy getting high on life you're just as vulnerable as everybody else."

Something passed between them then. It wasn't good, it wasn't bad, it was like a subtle equality, an understanding that they both needed protecting as much as they wanted to be the protector. The long silence stretched out for what seemed like forever. Charlie knew he had done a good job up to this point in articulating his feelings, but he realised that he had come to a hard stop. He just saw Hugo, the one person that made his new life special.

He took him by the shoulder and gave him a soft kiss on the lips. "I can't be brave with my feelings, Hugo, not yet. I'm sorry, but this will have to do."

Hugo blinked. Two times, three times, four. Charlie didn't know if it was a ghost, or his newfound magical ability, but he got the impression when he looked into the eyes of his mentor and friend and probably lover that he finally understood what it was like to be truly and unconditionally joyful.

"Darling, you are fabulous." Hugo kissed his cheek, then collapsed into his arms.

They didn't know what to expect upon their official return to duty, but the one thing Charlie and Hugo didn't see coming was complete and utter normalcy. Charlie had found that he had gained a certain respect from pretty much everyone in the club. It wasn't obvious, nobody was swooning over him, they couldn't anyway if they didn't want him to murder them. It was the little things. A better spot at the dining table, new clothes, the kids wanting him to sign their baseball cards. There was a shift, it wasn't something Charlie had figured out totally, but he knew that he liked it.

"Charlie, ya solid little fecker! All's grand, I hope?" Leon wrapped his arm around Charlie with a familial boisterousness he had now grown accustomed to.

"You mean before or after you tried to punch my kidneys through my mouth?"

"Aha! You're a funny one, Charlie, my boy. Don't worry about all that, just family stuff, you know? Don tells you to punch a guy, you punch a guy. I didn't mean anything by it. Besides, I know you, we've fought now. You're the kind of person that would never bloody forgive me if I held back on ya."

"That is true. Make sure you never do. Don Leonardo might need to start looking for a new enforcer."

"Oho! I like this new Charlie. Long may he reign."

"I bet you do. Wanna kiss?"

"Get away, ya brick house sodomite! I'll need about five whiskeys first."

Charlie and Leon both shared a laugh before Leon made an exit out of the side hatch. He had a mission to get to. Charlie prayed for his safe return.

"Darling, I can appreciate your newfound confidence, but I really rather you didn't go galavanting off with strange men."

"You're one to talk. I saw those new recruits coming. I guess you persuaded them with your excellent communication skills and polite demeanour? Don't be too shocked, babe, really doesn't suit you."

"Yes, well, I... Wait, you're making fun of me. Charles, that's very attractive. But look at you using all of these big words. I didn't realise you'd take to schooling so well."

"Well, you know, after having my brain kicked out of my head by the Don, we had a good heart-to-heart. I told him, honestly and truthfully, that I really didn't wanna hurt anyone and, I suppose, seeing as I just proved my worth to him, he listened. It didn't take long for us to figure out that I needed to go back to school if I wanted to work in the business."

"Business school!? Oh heavens! My man will be hobnobbing with the Rockefellers next. Oh God! I need to think about buying a new wardrobe. Do I need to go be a sexy housewife? Whatever shall I do?"

As Hugo theatrically carried on, Charlie placed him in a chair. Taking a seat of his own, he sat in quiet contemplation for what seemed to him like a long time. Hugo did the same, though Charlie was unsure whether that was because he didn't know how to handle the moment or because he too was thinking about some things. Charlie looked at the children in the classroom next door. They were eager to learn and they were happy.

"I never dreamed that I could be as happy as this," Charlie said. "I've always..."

"Stop it, you neurotic sugarplum. It's all going to be fine now. Those children are going to be fine because we are going to protect them. I am going to be fine because you are going to protect me, and you are going to be fine because I am going to protect you. I promise."

Charlie didn't respond to that, but the smile on his face was evident. He knew he shouldn't continue with the thought, but deep down he knew he didn't deserve this. Everything had been luck and chance. Though things had gone his way now, he wasn't sure how long they were going to continue to do so.

Still, looking out and seeing the happy faces of everybody in Clan Medira, he smiled. Some sober, some drunk, some loving, others fighting. People learning and people praying. They were all his family now. Whatever he felt about himself was irrelevant before the sense of duty that now took hold of him.

He hoped and prayed that it would never let go.