Chapter 15: Diurnal Cycle

Asa grips the trident until her knuckles turn white, fighting to stay above the surface of the water, the deep, rain-slick walls of the ravine providing no escape. Her Gifted strength and stamina allow her to combat the current of the rapids, though she quickly finds her mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion from the past couple days catching up with her. One moment of lapsed focus causes her to crash into a large rock and she feels her consciousness start to slip. The rapids seem to go on forever in her semi-conscious state, her body moving on pure instinct not to drown. She can hazily recall the current slowing, the high walls of the ravine dropping lower and lower, and her body collapsing into the mud before everything goes black.

Asa hears her labored breaths first in shallow, unsteady gasps. The grass comes into view next and Asa looks up at the sun setting behind the peak further north through her teary eyes. The warmth on her back comes into focus after that and she looks behind her at her friends.

“It’s okay, Asa,” Chui says, “Everything is going to be fine. It isn’t your fault, okay? Look at me.” He grabs her shoulders and makes her face him, pressing their foreheads together. “Breathe with me. In. Out.”

Asa follows his lead, her mind fuzzy and head throbbing badly, and eventually matches her breathing to his. Chui smiles softly at her, stroking her hair. “Good. You’re okay, you aren’t in trouble. It wasn’t your fault.”

“You connected the idol correctly. Chui and I both witnessed it,” Bam adds, her expression soft and worried despite the firmness of her tone as she reassures Asa, “And you completed the whole festival effortlessly. You’re our next Sun, okay? This is nothing.”

Asa feels the trembling in her limbs slowly start to subside with Chui and Bam’s reassurance, and her gaze falls back onto the sunset, her heart calming at the sight. Chui and Bam both push her down gently by her shoulders until she’s sitting in the grass and in a heartbeat Asa pulls her legs comfortingly to her chest. Her friends kneel beside her.

“Stay here and calm down okay? We’ll be back soon,” Chui says.

“We’ll speak on your behalf in the Great Hall,” Bam adds.

When Asa doesn’t respond, her gaze trained on the mountain far away, Bam moves in front of her and places her hands on Asa’s knees. “Don’t you dare start doubting yourself now. We’re your Moon and Sky–we’re gonna get through this together, just like everything else. You weren’t chosen for this for no reason. Whatever happened with the ceremony has nothing to do with you. Understand?”

Asa meets Bam’s eyes and after a moment of hesitation she nods softly.

Bam nods once and she and Chui both stand. “If you can’t trust yourself, trust us,” Bam says before she takes off south back toward the Great Hall.

Chui adds as he follows Bam, “We’ll be back as soon as we can!”

Then, Asa is left alone in the meadow. She doesn’t know how much time passes, her head pounding worse and worse in a violent contrast to the peace around her. Eventually she stands, knowing exactly where she’s going despite the fog in her mind. She avoids the village center where people are still gathered after the festival and treks through the forest surrounding Ba’atan to one of the Saishu quarters at the edge of the village. Equipping herself with a humble spear, she sits and begins to pen a letter, the words blurring on the page as the throbbing in her head renders her vision unreliable. Though, her hands seem to know exactly what they’re doing, and she leaves the finished letter on the bed before she stands up and leaves the hut, beginning her trek down the mountain. Her vision gives out completely as she breaks into a run and she is consumed in darkness once more.

Asa wakes to a terrible throbbing in her head, her eyes opening to a room bathed in soft firelight. She looks around from where she’s laying and notices a man tending to the fire, adding new logs to keep the flame going. Asa’s hands twitch and she sits up very slowly, trying to avoid making any noise and making her head throb any worse by sitting up quickly. Her eyes dart around what appears to be a small cabin for the Sun relic and she finds it leaning against the far wall. Her anxiety somewhat appeased, Asa shifts to sit up fully causing the cot to creak. The man by the fireplace turns around, quickly approaching with a worried expression.

“Oh dear, are you awake? Please wait, you may be concussed,” the man explains kindly. When he comes close enough to check her condition, Asa lands a swift kick to his gut and springs up quickly into a defensive stance. At the sudden movement, however, she feels pain bloom throughout her body and she winces. The man raises, half-bent over with an arm around his middle and the other extended toward Asa placatingly.

“You’re hurting yourself,” the man pleads, “Please lay back down. I promise I’m not going to hurt you.”

Asa ignores his plea, however, and grabs the trident from the corner, breaking into a sweat as she grimaces when the pain only gets worse. Her breaths heave from her chest as she points the trident at the man, struggling to stay upright. The man eventually stands up straight and raises both hands in clear surrender, trying his best to appear non-threatening.

He tries to appeal to her once more. “I don’t want the relic. You can walk out of here with it right now if you wish, but I do want to make sure you’re okay. Please, will you allow me to check your condition?”

Asa falters, the pain in her body practically screaming for attention, but holds her trident true. “Why? Who are you?”

The man smiles at her question, his expression soft and sweet as he regards her. “Forgive me. I am Aletes. I couldn’t simply ignore you and leave you on the river bank–especially not when looking at you is like looking at my own daughter.”

His answer baffles Asa and she lowers the trident just slightly and studies him carefully. His dress appears foreign to the mountains, perhaps from a part of the lowlands she has not seen yet, but when she looks up at his face she notices his ears in particular. His lobes are split, a marking Asa has seen only once but heard of enough times to be familiar with the meaning: this man was a traitor. A separation like that on his earlobes showed that his earrings had been ripped out–the ultimate loss a Saishu could bear. Despite his status as an outsider now, the idea that this man was from Ba’atan gives Asa enough solace for her to lower her weapon, the adrenaline and tension leaving her. She goes limp-limbed, her exhaustion coming back. Aletes moves forward to support her and brings her back to the cot.

“...your ears…” Asa mumbles, glancing up at him, not yet releasing the relic from her weak grip.

The man chuckles at her observation and stands up straight again, his hand coming up unconsciously to his ear. “Ah–yes. I will not try and hide them. I may be a traitor, but not in the way you likely are thinking. I had the privilege of bearing these marks by my own doing.”

Asa looks at him with wide eyes, completely taken aback. “On your own? Why would you do such a thing?”

Aletes smiles at her, raising his hands and waving them dismissively. “I am a deserter but I was likely presumed dead, thus I was never pursued as traitors are. I removed my earrings to remind myself of my choice and of the fact that I can never return home. My ears represent both my shame and my resolve. I have long since made peace with them.”

“But why would you leave? What made it so that you couldn’t stay, sir?” Asa asks him.

“I simply wanted a different life than what home had to offer, that’s all,” the man laughs at his own reasoning, “Quite underwhelming, isn’t it?”

Asa stares at Aletes, perplexed like she never has been before. This man was certainly strange to talk about his loss and estrangement so jovially, but Asa still couldn’t help but feel sympathy for him. He gazes back at her kindly and holds his hands out toward the trident. “May I?”

Asa hesitates for a moment but relinquishes the relic, allowing Aletes to prop it against the wall nearby. When he returns to her, he gently checks her temperature with the back of his hand. “What is your name, young lady?”

“Ah– Asa. I apologize…” Asa murmurs.

Aletes chuckles and shakes his head. “No apology necessary. May I examine your condition?”

Asa nods. Aletes goes about gently questioning her and testing her limbs for any pain or difficulty moving. “You got by mostly with just some scrapes and bruises that I’ve treated already, but you must watch out for your head. You might have bumped it at some point, but as you don’t feel any haziness or confusion you may be safe to leave soon. Please just rest for now. The exhaustion in your body and your slight fever will ease with more rest.”

Asa nods, surprised at herself by her inexplicably quick trust in this man. Perhaps it was his affable nature? Or maybe it was just that Asa desperately needed the help. Regardless, he has had every chance to steal from or harm her and has not. “May I relieve myself, sir?”

“Oh, of course. Go outside to the back of the cabin.”

Asa nods and handles her business, moving carefully to avoid straining her already sore muscles. She notices the temperature and humidity outside, as well as the slightly foreign terrain, and returns with questions for Aletes.

“Where is this? Are we still in the mountains?” she asks.

“We are,” Aletes confirms, “However, these are not the mountains you likely know. These are the peaks of the southern peninsula. The weather is lovely and warm here all the time–much more amenable to my sensibilities than the Midlands.”

Asa is surprised to have travelled so far but eventually nods in understanding. It wasn’t sensible for a deserter to remain within Ba’atan’s mountains. “...so it’s been a few days since you found me, then?”

Aletes laughs. “It has, indeed. I carried you a long way while you were drifting in and out of consciousness.”

Asa frowns at that in confusion. “But why were you travelling, sir?”

“Hmm…” He thinks for a moment with a grin. “...I would think that it would comfort you more if I said that fate allowed our paths to cross when they did, but really it was just a complete coincidence. I was crossing the river during my trip back from the Midlands and found you on the bank. Truly, you were lucky that I found you at all…Ah, but just look at how I’m throwing words around. When I think about it, is there much difference between fate, luck, and coincidence? Perhaps it was fate I found you, after all.” He laughs at his own observation.

Asa ponders it for a moment but focuses on something else. “So how far from the Midlands are we, sir?”

“Ah, pardon me. The Midlands are northeast of us–it’s about two days to the foothills…but may I ask, will you not return home?” Aletes tilts his head curiously at Asa, smiling kindly.

Asa falters at his question, though is slightly comforted by his mannerism which seems so close to Hoen’s. She senses no ill-will from him, only genuine curiosity. This motivates Asa to answer honestly. “...I do not have a home to return to. I cannot bear to see it as it is now…and I have a duty to someone I must fulfill.”

“A duty to whom? I take it they are not Ba’ata if you speak of this duty in opposition to your home.”

“My duty is to a Sehchoh noble.”

Aletes nods. “I see. Despite your possession of the Sun relic, you will not return? I take it you are the new Sun Crown, are you not? Surely there is some home to go back to, is there not?”

“...I do not know. The relic is mine by tradition, but…” Asa thinks back on what Bam said to her and on how she treated the relic in front of her–like it was neither something Asa needed nor deserved. Could Asa call herself the Sun Crown after leaving Ba’atan without a word? After what transpired in her absence? And, most crucially, could Asa claim the position of Sun Crown when Bam, the Moon Crown, despised her so viciously–and rightfully so? Asa had not behaved like a leader and Bam and Chui had to pick up the pieces of what broke due to Asa’s recklessness. Chui, her dear brother in arms, even lost his life… Asa remains silent, not knowing what to say to explain the hole she dug herself into.

“Hmm…” Aletes studies her closely and doesn’t push the topic, picking up on her reluctance. “...I see. I take it the Sun is no traitor nor deserter, thus I give my condolences. I have not seen the full extent of the damage, but I have seen enough to surmise your meaning. Truly, I am sorry for your loss.”

Asa grimaces. “A deserter I may be. What good is a leader who isn’t there? Despite my good intentions, I’ve caused nothing but trouble…”

“Is that so?” Aletes asks, “Well, if that’s the case, which duty of yours is most important? That to Ba’atan or that to the Sehchoh noble?”

Asa thought about this carefully. Bam had wanted Asa to see the extent of the damage to Ba’atan, but Asa has already lost all heart to do so, especially when Asa has accomplished so little in Ba’atan’s name. For anything of her home that was left, what could Asa do?...Was her duty to Sehchoh not for Ba’atan? Had she not been searching for answers in order to help her home? Bam had made her stance against Asa clear–Asa was not welcome back as the Sun Crown. Not if Bam could help it. Nonetheless, Asa held the Sun relic now, not Bam and not anyone else. Thus, she had to do something. Asa decided that her duty to Hoen was that something.

“...they are one in the same,” Asa replies.

“I must find out Naiténoza’s involvement and bring them to justice. My goal has not changed,” she murmurs to herself, voicing her thoughts into truth by her resolve alone. Indeed, this is what she set out from the mountain after the festival to do. Now, after everything, Asa was more than determined to see it through. She held no doubts anymore: Ba’atan was gone and Naiténoza was to blame, Bam had betrayed her and only Asa was to blame, Asa knew she had a lot more to learn before she could solve anything, and she trusted in Inei and in Hoen and his aides despite everything to help her get to the bottom of things. Most importantly, Asa could not return home–whatever was left of it–with nothing to show for herself, and if she could resolve her differences with Bam using the fruits of her efforts then Asa would at least have her people to return to.

Asa turns to Aletes again. “Could you help me return to the Midlands, sir? My return to Ba’atan will have to wait.”

Aletes smiles and nods. “I see you’ve resolved yourself, Sun. I will escort you back to the Midlands, but only after checking your condition tomorrow. For now, you must rest. I insist.”

Asa nods and lays back down on the cot provided for her, her fatigue taking her under surprisingly quickly with her body in a relaxed position. She sees Aletes nod before moving elsewhere in the cabin to give her some privacy. With her feet facing the fire, she focuses on the warmth flowing up through her body to lull her to sleep. Asa dreams of ash and decay, of Ba’atan and Naiténoza, and of faces from her past–moments with Inei, Bam, and Chui blending together and passing through her dreamscape. She also dreams of Hoen and his aides and of Sehchoh and Rita, her mind fusing her near and far past into a mirage of memories.

She wakes late the next day, her soreness largely gone just as Asa anticipated, always having been the type to heal quickly. Aletes checks her condition through various physical tasks and questions and is astounded by her speedy recovery. “Why, it’s as if you willed the ailments away!” he exclaims, “Though, I suppose the Sun of Ba’atan would be one to possess special physical aptitude. Perhaps you are even Gifted–I have heard of their special constitutions in my travels.”

Asa simply nods proudly at her recovery, not confirming nor denying his statement outright. Though, Aletes doesn’t mind and laughs at her assuredness.

“Then, I take it you are ready to go? It’s already quite late in the day, so I suggest waiting until tomorrow morning. The more rest, the better,” he says.

Asa deflates slightly at his advice but doesn’t protest. “Alright…”

“If you’re eager to do something, would you like to catch some fish for dinner tonight?” Aletes asks with a chuckle, “I will start preparing for our travels in the meantime. The river is straight ahead when you exit the cabin.”

Asa nods, takes up her trident, and goes out spear-fishing, having a lot of experience already from her time in Ba’tan. She quickly returns with four fish that Aletes prepares and splits between them equally. They both retire early in order to leave early the next day, and by the time morning comes, Asa is wide-awake and full of energy, ready to continue her investigation with Hoen and the others as soon as possible. She makes sure her trident is wrapped securely, hiding its unmistakably ornate detail and luster to detract unwanted attention, before they set off. They do not talk about Ba’atan on their journey, the weight of the tragedy still weighing heavily on Asa’s heart, though silently Asa reflects on her hostile interaction with Bam many times over. Her anger, while understandable to an extent, was shocking in its intensity to Asa. For an ally that’s always understood her and stood on her side, such a drastic change–even given the circumstances–was devastating. Knowing the truth of the matter now, though, only made Asa more determined to prove herself to Bam and fix what was in her power to fix despite her deep sadness at what she has lost.

Asa’s contemplations only grow deeper once she parts ways with Aletes and is back in the Midlands, her resolve growing each day. She follows his advice and hitches a ride with a local merchant in a nearby Naiténozan village to Rita and then travels by foot to the nearest village in Sehchoh territory to find someone to take her back to the city of Sehchoh, not having had any luck with finding a merchant from Sehchoh in Rita. Eventually making it back to Sehchoh after days–close to weeks–as the sun sets, Asa follows her memory to the Imperia estate. The guards recognize her but regard her with shocked gazes as they usher her inside. Asa receives the same reaction from the maids within the manor who usher her into the dining room.

Inside, she finds Hoen, his aides, and his father deep in discussion. They all look up when the dining room doors open, but quickly forget about the disruption when they see Asa. Hoen is the first to break away from the table, approaching Asa quickly and wrapping her in a hug. Asa’s eyes widen almost comically at the unexpected embrace but she returns it hesitantly before relaxing fully into it. The others gather around the two, their questions all overlapping in the heat of the moment.

“Asa! We’re so glad you’re alive!” Hoen exclaims, pulling back to look at her, “What happened? Are you hurt?”

“Were you hurt, Asa? Did you look for us in Ba’atan?” Wen asks, looking her over for any noticeable injuries.

Jaemi asks frantically, “Are you okay? Why were you gone so long? What happened with Bam?”

Toge murmurs softly to himself, “I knew she wasn’t dead. She couldn’t be.”

Warren rests a hand on Asa’s shoulder, regarding her warmly with relief. “Everyone had me fearing the worst. I’m glad you’re safe.”

Shou comments quietly, “You’ve been gone a long time…”

Asa looks between everyone confusedly, their voices all blending together in a chaos of worry and curiosity. She latches onto Jaemi's words, his voice echoing the loudest over the others’.

“Uhm, I’m alright. I fell off a cliff into the river and got lost in the mountains,” Asa says.

The group all go silent upon hearing her answer. Jaemi speaks up first.

“Okay, no. You have to explain more than that, Asa! What do you mean you fell off a cliff?” He exclaims worriedly.

Hoen sighs and fully releases her, stepping back and gesturing toward the table. “Let’s all sit down again,” he suggests, “We have a lot to share with each other.”

Thus, the group all gather at the table again, the atmosphere less tense than when Asa first stepped in now that her whereabouts were known. Asa explains her journey to the group from when she left them, vaguely addressing the stranger she met and avoiding mentioning Ba’atan too much for her own sake, and everyone pays attention closely when she recounts her encounter with Bam. When Asa finishes her story, Hoen speaks up.

“I see, that’s quite a lot,” he says, “A lot transpired in your absence, as well–but before we get there, would you like to decompress for a while? You had a long journey here.”

At that, Warren gets up without being asked and fetches a maid from outside to bring them refreshments. Asa nods and gives her thanks to Hoen and Warren both. Everyone takes a moment to sit and collect their thoughts in silence, especially since there is even more to address than before now that Asa’s story was added to the mix. After everyone has had enough time to relax, Hoen picks up leading the discussion once more.

“Alright, so let us start again with the group Bam was with…” He takes a moment to collect his thoughts before relaying his and his aides’ side of the story from when Asa left.