Chapter 25:
I Died Once, but He Loved me twice
The tea party gradually came to an end as the ladies exchanged their final courtesies with Her Majesty. One by one, they rose from their seats, offering their farewells before leaving the tea room.
Elowen was preparing to follow when the empress called her gently.
"Lady Ravelle, would you spare me a little more of your time? I should like to speak with you privately, if you do not mind."
Elowen paused before curtsying. "Of course, Your Majesty."
The remaining ladies departed, accompanied by their attendants. Once the doors had closed behind them, the room settled into a comfortable silence. The servants withdrew at the empress's quiet instruction, leaving only the two women beside the tall windows overlooking the imperial gardens.
Her Majesty gestured toward a smaller sitting area.
"Please, sit with me."
"Thank you, Your Majesty."
Elowen took the seat offered to her, folding her hands neatly over her lap. She had suspected that the empress's invitation to speak privately might come eventually, but she had not expected it to happen so soon.
For a moment, the empress said nothing. She poured herself another cup of tea, then glanced toward Elowen.
"I hope you will forgive my curiosity," she began. "I have known your family for many years, and I have always held the Ravelles in high regard. Naturally, I was interested when the subject of your engagement came up earlier."
Elowen's fingers tightened slightly against one another.
"Your Majesty, I understand."
"Then perhaps you can tell me something you could not comfortably discuss in the presence of the other ladies." The empress regarded her calmly. "Has something changed between you and Duke Ashbourne?"
The question was gentle, without accusation or pressure.
Somehow, that made it more difficult to answer.
She lowered her eyes.
"Yes, Your Majesty."
The empress waited.
Elowen drew a quiet breath before continuing.
"Duke Ashbourne and I have discontinued our engagement."
The words sounded strangely final when spoken aloud.
For a moment, she could hear nothing but the faint rustle of leaves beyond the windows.
The empress did not interrupt her, nor did she immediately ask why. She simply watched Elowen, allowing her the time to continue if she wished.
"It was a decision made for personal reasons," Elowen said at last. "I would prefer not to disclose the details, Your Majesty. I hope you will understand."
"I see."
There was no immediate change in the empress's expression, though Elowen could not help feeling that her answer had raised more questions than it had settled.
"I imagine this was not an easy decision for either family," Her Majesty remarked.
"No, Your Majesty. It was not."
Elowen paused, then lifted her gaze.
"But I would like to make one thing clear. Whatever happens between Duke Ashbourne and me, I do not wish for it to affect the relationship between our families. The Ashbournes and the Ravelles have both served the imperial family faithfully for generations. The end of our engagement does not change that."
Her voice grew steadier as she spoke.
"Our families remain loyal to the Crown, and to Valoria. I have no intention of allowing a personal matter to interfere with the duties we owe our kingdom."
The empress studied her for a long moment.
"You speak with considerable certainty for someone who has only recently made such a decision."
Elowen's expression softened, though the sadness beneath it did not entirely disappear.
"Perhaps because I have given it considerable thought, Your Majesty."
"And you are certain there is no possibility of reconciliation?"
The question caught her off guard.
"I believe it is best for us to move forward separately," she answered. "I wish Duke Ashbourne well, and I hope he will find happiness in the life he chooses. But I do not believe our marriage is the right future for either of us."
The empress leaned back slightly, considering her words.
"That is a rather different answer from the one I expected to hear."
Elowen gave a small, rueful smile. "I imagine it is."
"For years, the union between your families has been spoken of as though it were already settled. Many people have simply assumed the ceremony was a matter of time." Her Majesty paused. "You must understand that the announcement will invite considerable speculation."
"I do, Your Majesty. I will accept whatever questions may come to me. I only hope that neither family will be judged unfairly because of this decision."
"You need not worry about my regard for the Ravelle family," the empress assured her. "Nor will I permit court gossip to determine the standing of either house."
Elowen felt some of the tension leave her shoulders.
"Thank you, Your Majesty."
"However," the empress continued, "I would advise you to ensure that the matter is settled clearly between both families before the announcement is made. It would be unfortunate if the court heard conflicting accounts."
"We intend to handle it properly."
The empress nodded, accepting the answer without pressing for further details.
The empress nodded, accepting her answer without pressing for further details. She lifted her teacup, taking a small sip before setting it down again.
"There is one other matter I would like you to consider, Lady Ravelle."
Elowen straightened slightly. "What is it, Your Majesty?"
"Your debut into society."
Elowen's expression remained composed, though she immediately understood where the conversation was heading.
"Once the dissolution of your engagement becomes known, you will once again be regarded as an unmarried young lady of a prominent ducal house. You are of an age when the court will naturally begin discussing potential matches for you."
The empress regarded her thoughtfully.
"Some will approach you out of genuine interest. And there will undoubtedly be those who consider your former engagement an invitation to speculate about what happened between you and Duke Ashbourne."
She paused.
"How do you intend to manage that situation?"
Elowen remained silent for a moment.
In aristocratic society, an unmarried woman of her standing was rarely allowed to remain simply unmarried. Her name would be discussed at dinners, her appearances scrutinized at balls, and every conversation with an eligible gentleman interpreted as a possible beginning.
And as the daughter of Duke Alistair Ravelle, she would hardly be overlooked.
"Your Majesty is right," she admitted. "The matter will not end with the announcement. There will be questions, and I imagine some families will begin considering whether I might be a suitable match for their sons."
"Indeed. And you must be prepared for the possibility that some of those approaches will come through- people you cannot easily refuse."
Elowen understood the implication. A direct proposal could be declined with courtesy, but an invitation from an influential family, an introduction arranged by the empress herself, or a persistent suggestion from someone whose favor the Ravelles could not afford to disregard would be considerably more complicated.
"I would not wish to offend anyone unnecessarily," Elowen said. "Nor would I want my personal circumstances to become an obstacle for my family."
"But would you accept a marriage simply to avoid offending someone?"
The question was so direct that Elowen looked up.
"No, Your Majesty."
Her answer came without hesitation.
The empress studied her with quiet interest.
"Then you have already decided what you will not do. Have you decided what you will do instead?"
Elowen hesitated.
She could not tell the empress that marriage had become a prospect she viewed through the memories of a life that had already ended. She could not explain that she had once been a wife, had loved where she should not have, and had watched the consequences of her choices unfold. Nor could she reveal that the future she remembered was no longer a certainty.
All she could offer was the truth she was willing to speak.
"I would prefer to remain unmarried for the time being," she said carefully. "There are responsibilities I wish to fulfill before I consider entering another engagement, and I have matters concerning the estate that require my attention."
"That is understandable. But the court may not consider your duties a sufficient reason to postpone marriage indefinitely."
"Then I shall have to make my position clear."
The empress's lips curved faintly.
"You speak as though declining a marriage proposal were as simple as refusing an invitation to tea."
Elowen allowed herself a small smile. "I suspect it will be considerably more difficult, Your Majesty."
For a moment, there was warmth in the empress's expression, almost as though she were amused by Elowen's determination.
"Your position presents an interesting difficulty. You are a duke's daughter, and your former engagement has already made you the subject of public expectation. You cannot avoid society altogether without inviting more speculation."
Elowen lowered her gaze to her hands.
"Perhaps," Elowen said after a moment, "I should continue attending the necessary gatherings, but make it clear that I am not seeking an engagement at present. If anyone approaches me with such intentions, I will answer them respectfully. I will not encourage expectations I have no intention of fulfilling."
"You are remarkably determined."
"I would rather disappoint someone with an honest answer than allow them to believe they have a chance when they do not."
For a moment, neither woman spoke.
Then the empress gave a slow nod.
"That is a sensible principle, though I doubt everyone will appreciate it. Some may interpret your refusal as pride. Others may assume you are still attached to Duke Ashbourne and merely waiting for him to reconsider."
Elowen's fingers stilled.
That possibility had crossed her mind, but hearing it spoken aloud made the prospect feel more immediate.
"I cannot control every interpretation people make of my decisions," she replied. "But I can ensure that my conduct leaves little room for misunderstanding."
"Very well." The empress set her cup aside. "Then I would suggest that you and your father agree on how to respond to potential approaches. It will be easier to maintain your position if your family presents a united answer. And until the engagement is formally dissolved, avoid making promises about your future that could complicate matters further."
"I shall speak with my father."
"Good." Her Majesty's expression softened. "But I would like you to understand that freedom from one obligation does not always mean freedom from expectation."
Elowen absorbed those words quietly.
She knew that better than most.
"I understand, Your Majesty," she said. "And I am grateful for your advice."
The empress offered her a small, knowing smile.
"Then I shall not keep you any longer, Lady Ravelle. Thank you for giving me your time."
"It was my pleasure, Your Majesty."
Elowen rose and curtsied before taking her leave. The empress watched as she walked toward the door, her posture straight and her steps measured, never once betraying the uncertainty that might have troubled another young lady in her position.
The doors closed quietly behind her.
For several moments, the empress remained seated, her gaze fixed upon the empty doorway. Then, little by little, the smile faded from her face.
She reached for her teacup, only to find that the tea had long since cooled.
Of all the young noblewomen she had encountered throughout the years, Elowen Ravelle was the one she had never quite managed to bend to her will.
Elowen was different.
The empress had seen it in the way Elowen answered her questions that afternoon. The young woman had been respectful, but never submissive. She had disclosed only what she was willing to disclose, defended the dignity of both ducal houses, and spoken of her future as though it were a matter she alone had the right to decide.
It was precisely that quality which made her so difficult to influence.
And precisely why the empress had never stopped watching her.
Her gaze drifted toward the tall windows, beyond which the imperial gardens lay bathed in the afternoon light.
At last.
The engagement between Elowen Ravelle and Nathaniel Ashbourne had long stood as an obstacle she could not easily disregard. The union between the two ducal houses was politically advantageous, and neither family could be expected to abandon such an arrangement without cause. As long as that bond remained, any attempt to bring Elowen closer to the imperial family would have been complicated, if not entirely impossible.
But now, the engagement was no longer binding.
The empress had waited years for circumstances to change, and she had no intention of allowing this opportunity to pass her by.
Elowen was not merely the daughter of a powerful duke. She possessed an intelligence that went beyond the lessons taught to noblewomen, a discipline that showed in the way she managed her responsibilities, and a perseverance that had only become more apparent with time.
She did not simply speak of duty. She acted upon it.
And that, the empress believed, was what distinguished a capable noblewoman from someone worthy of the crown.
Her son would one day become king. Whoever stood beside him would need more than beauty, a respectable lineage, or the ability to charm a ballroom. The Crown Princess of Valoria would have to understand the kingdom's interests, withstand the pressures of the court, and possess enough judgment to recognize when compromise was wise—and when it would be a mistake.
She would need to be someone who could stand beside the king without disappearing into his shadow.
In Elowen, the empress saw the possibility of all those things.
You would make a fine Crown Princess, Elowen Ravelle.
The thought had taken shape in her mind long before this afternoon. She had simply lacked a suitable moment to pursue it.
Now, with Elowen's former engagement discontinued and her formal debut approaching, the circumstances were finally beginning to align.
The empress would not rush the matter. She knew better than to approach Elowen with an outright demand or make her feel that another obligation was being placed upon her. A woman who guarded her independence so fiercely would only resist being cornered.
No. This would require patience.
The Crown Prince would need an opportunity to know Elowen beyond the reputation attached to her family name. Their interactions would have to arise naturally, allowing her to consider the possibility for herself.
The empress's fingers tapped lightly against the armrest.
She had waited years for this possibility. She could wait a little longer.
Her expression settled into its usual composure as she turned toward the door and called for her attendant.
"Please inform His Highness that I would like to speak with him when his schedule permits."
The attendant bowed. "At once, Your Majesty."
When she was alone again, the empress allowed herself one final smile.
Elowen Ravelle
The empress intended to give that future a rather interesting possibility.
For in her eyes, there was no longer any question of who would make the strongest candidate for the Crown Prince of Valoria.
The only question was how long it would take before Elowen herself began to see it.
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