Mana

Air cuts as I breath it in, and bubbles as I cough it out. My vision blacks out for a few moments in the midst of my coughing, as it returns, I take in the sorry state of those other pitiful creatures around me.

Some are sitting, most are lying on the dirt exhausted and broken like me.

The fighting had been a good distraction from everything else, but it was entirely a bad idea. Of course, I realized quite quickly that we were being pushed too hard, but the beatings that Red gave to those who she thought were slacking was far worse than from the fighting itself.

“It seems you’ve all given it your best,” Red sounds disappointed, as she stands over us.

“My bruises have bruises,” I wheeze out, “If you want any more from me, you’ll have to string me up like a marionette and dance me around yourself.”

“An… interesting proposal, but for another day. I should discuss the future of your training.”

“First, call for the healer, would you?” I call out. “I doubt I’m the only one dying here.”

“Still have strength enough to whine.”

I open my mouth to reply, but a coughing fit interrupts me. Nel gently rubs my shoulder, looking as beaten as I feel. I didn’t land a hit on her, but the mix up Red put us through didn’t do either of us much good.

“Fine, fine, but you owe me your attention after.” She says, walking over to the barracks and shouting something within. The furred runt of a healer comes racing out as she calls, and stumbles over to us.

He heals us without complaint at her asking, she could’ve done the same for Eshya earlier, but I know better than to complain.

Without word of complaint, he wades through us, waving a hand over the worst injuries while ignoring the scrapes and bruises. He tries to walk past me, but I quickly pull him to a stop.

“You’re fine.” He says trying to go on.

“Internal bleeding,” I wheeze between wet coughing fits, “Probably dying.”

He grumbles but presses his hand against my belly. A wave of fiery energy seeps in as golden light radiates from his touch. A strange sensation grows from the energy, as if my insides are rearranging themselves.

It’s not much time at all before he finishes.

“So you were. Mana-less… It’s a mystery that you’re still alive at all.” He grumbles, before moving on.

“Happy now?” Red asks me, waiting for the healer to get us all from the brink of death.

“Dying a little more slowly now,” I wheeze out, still clearing the blood from my lungs, “I knew you were fucked up, but if this is your idea of training us, then our situation is worse than I thought.”

“Keep that spirit up,” She says strangely cheerful.

“Okay, I’m asking this just to make sure, but you don’t get off to me cussing you out do you?” I peer at her cautiously.

“Look around you,” She says, “Which do you think will live through this?”

I gaze back over the group of beaten aliens, but I’m too tired to really give her suggestion much real thought. She’s probably going to go off on some philosophical rant that I’m really not in the mood to be hearing.

“The lucky ones…” I reply with a sigh.

“The ones who look at me with hatred,” She says, “The ones who find the strength to fight even when they’ve been beaten into the dirt over and over again. They have the chance to be lucky.”

At least it was a short rant.

Lucky.

“For your advice, build up your mana form.” She says, “Can’t get anywhere without doing that first.”

“Okay, how do I do that? And what the fuck is a mana form?”

Red glares down at me for a few moments before breaking out into laughter.

“You aren’t even joking, are you?”

“Where I come from, we don’t have any of this bullshit magic. A mana desert, I think.” I say recalling the term that Vii used to describe it.

“That’s a thing?” She shakes her head, “A mana form. The answers easy, dumbass, suck up a mouthful of mana and keep it flowing around your body. Then keep doing that.”

“Where can I get this mana?”

“Everywhere, it’s in everything. Well except for you, I guess.” She says, walking around some of the others as I struggle to suck something from the air.

“Fucking magic bullshit.” I mutter.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Nel asks, still rubbing my shoulder spreading pins and needles all around. It’s still more soothing than it is annoying, though it would be embarrassing to say it aloud.

Vii and Eshya join us as their own injuries are dealt with. Eshya seems tired, her clothes torn and messed, but otherwise unbothered by this whole situation. Vii meanwhile as lost many of her feathers, and her clothes are a little more torn apart as well. She’s shifted her clothes around just to keep decent.

It would be quite the enticing sight if not for how exhausted I am. Or I guess I should say it is quite the enticing sight, but I’m not in the position to be flirting right now.

The bird wings and alienness should probably bother me more, but honestly, she’s still human enough where it matters. That, and I’m not feeling particularly picky right now, with the only other humans on this planet crushed into a paste that some beast is probably lapping up right about now.

That image is more than enough to clear away the horny.

“How was it for you two?” I ask.

“It was good experience,” Eshya says, “But, it’s frustrating. I thought myself much more talented than I am. The minotaur was able to land far too many blows, even slow as he was.”

“I was doing well until she grabbed my foot.” Vii says, “Then it all went to hell.”

“Well, better than me then.” I reply, “Can either of you explain how to suck up mana?”

“Absorb mana?” Eshya asks.

“Yeah, that.”

“You just have sort of draw it in, it’s not hard.” She says, “Is it true you’re from a mana desert?”

“Yes, and that wasn’t helpful.”

“You probably just need to get a feel for it.” Vii says, “I don’t think it’s something you can really be taught. Just feel for the mana and keep trying to move it around or something. It comes natural for most of us.”

“Well, shit.” I admit defeat and turn to Red who’s decided to start another speech. At least I can be sure that she won’t take a few hours like an old school principal.

“I see that you’re all too weary to get any more training done today, so after this I’ll throw you in a barracks. Eat, drink, shit, and sleep, then come back out here tomorrow morning.

“Build up your mana forms as quickly as you can. Tomorrow I’ll be giving you guidance based on your fights today, though for most of you that advice is simple. Fight, or die.” Her tone becomes grave.

“Those of you without the will to fight will die, one way or another. If you’re lucky you might find some idiot willing to feed you, but let me assure you that there are rather few perverts here that would have any interest in keeping you lot.”

“I… I’m skilled in alchemy. Let me lend you my skills, I… I’m not able to fight.” The one to speak is Cheri of all people. I hadn’t noticed that he was still around.

“Do you know the first thing an alchemist outside your precious Unified States must learn?” She asks, stalking over to him.

“How to identify plants, and beast parts.” He stammers out quickly and confidently.

“How to fight.” She declares lifting him up by his throat, “Try your alchemy now. Save yourself with alchemy.”

He struggles in her grip, trying to pull himself free but he’s still weak from the fighting.

“No? You can’t?” She waves him around, “A good alchemist is one still alive to do alchemy.”

He gurgles, his eyes rolling into the back of his head before she finally lets him down.

“Don’t disappoint me. Fight hard, and live to join us.” She says, “That barracks there is yours, someone will throw some food in later.”

With that, she leaves us, leaping between rooftops before disappearing entirely.

Nel assists me as I try to stand, and together we stumble towards the barracks. Eshya jumps at the opportunity and helps me from the other side, though I don’t really need it.

“We’ve traded places.” She says, somehow still cheerful after that last fight. She’s a dangerous one.

“Let’s get some good beds,” I urge them ahead of the group. The barracks may be a large building, but for a hundred people it’s terribly small.

“Ah, that’s a very, very good point. I don’t squeeze well!” Vii says stepping ahead of us.

The inside is about what I expected from the outside, but with even less space between the crammed beds. Thick wooden beams make up the bunks that are stacked three stories high and fitted with barely enough padding to still be considered beds.

I look around as the other students slowly advance on us.

“Take the beds close to the door.” I tell them, stumbling to the bottom bunk right away.

“Why not further in?” Eshya asks, claiming the bed beside mine.

“No windows, and it’s overcrowded,” I say, “We need to be close to the exit.”

“In case of a fire?” Asks Nel.

“That, or just for a taste of fresh air with all the body odour that will be stinking this place up.”

“Oh,” She mutters, sinking into the bed beside me, I already get the feeling that she’s going to be sharing my bunk. She is plenty sexy, even if it’s a bit to get used to her non-human parts, but I somehow doubt things are going to take a turn in that direction any time soon.

Still, I have to admit, even if it hurts a little, there is something grounding about having someone holding onto me right now.

“You should rest,” Nel says, “I don’t need much sleep, and you’ve been taking care of me all day. I’ll make sure nothing happens to you.”

She gently pushes me back into the bunk, sitting at the side while keeping a watchful eye on the other students that pass by.

“Thank you.” She says. I grab her hand before she can pull away, squeezing tight to her chitinous fingers.

“We’ll be fine,” I tell her.

“We’ll be fine,” I whisper to myself.

She squeezes my hand.

“Goodnight,” Vii calls from above.

“Rest well, we’ve much to do tomorrow.” Eshya says.

“Sleep well.” Nel says.

“Make sure you get some sleep, too.” I tell her before curling up and trying to calm down.

Even when I close my eyes, sleep doesn’t come. I feel exhausted, tired down to my bones, but whenever I feel nearly there, some memory from earlier today flashes before my eyes and, my heart starts beating out of my chest.

I try to swallow it down, but suddenly I feel the terrible fluttering in my guts from the freefall again. The awful stench of blood and guts overwhelm me, even though I barely even noticed it before. The pins and needles that fill my lungs become unbearable, and I can’t breathe.

“Calm down,” Nel whispers over and again, her fingers running through my hair.

“I can’t sleep,”

“Then just rest,” She says, the smile on her face more gentle and far more soothing than when it was just professional.

I grit my teeth and nod, but no matter how much I try to empty my mind the itching pains continue. Spreading from the bedding beneath me, from Nels gentle touch, and from the air itself.

As time goes on, I start to obsess over it like a scab that I can’t just leave alone. As I focus on it, mentally ‘itching’ it, the pains spread further into my flesh, spreading from my skin and lungs.

It sinks deeper and deeper into me, feeling not unlike how it was when the ship shifted between worlds. Holding the sensation inside me, I press down upon the painful itching, trying to crush it.

After a few minutes of this continued torture, something about the energy shifts. It’s gentle, unnoticeable at first, but soon enough the cutting itch inside me changes into a comforting warmth.

This new energy within me spreads, thinning out and easing for a moment the itching in my skin.

“I get it,” I say, opening my eyes. Nel’s face fills my sight, and I jolt back in surprise.

“You wouldn’t let go of my hand.” She whispers with an awkward smile, “What is it that you get?”

“It’s mana. The itching in my skin. The painful pins and needles. It’s all the mana.”

“Mana friction.” She says nodding, “It’s called mana friction. The mana outside you is fighting against you.”

“That’s what it is.” I whisper, trying to absorb more of the offending mana.

“I should have thought to mention it.”

“No, it’s fine. There’s so much else going on.” I tell her, struggling to crunch the mana inside and convert it into something more comfortable.

Already I have the sneaking suspicion that my whole night is going to be spent like this. I take slow, deep breaths, pulling in more and more of the mana until the pins and needles are almost too much for me bear. It takes longer to warm and settle down inside me, but in return there’s much more power that flooding my body after.

I notice after I grow lightheaded that I’ve been hyperventilating and force myself to calm. Nel is trying to sooth me but I’m too focused to notice much more.

The warmth is escaping me. I try to press it up against the external pressure of mana friction that has been crushing me this whole time, but my warm mana is leaking out far too quickly for me to replace it.

I try to grab it and pull it back in, but it’s like trying to grab water or air, the little that I can grasp only slips from my fingers again moments later. Even trying to draw it in again just brings back the cutting pains before it slowly converts again.

“It’s not… I can’t hold onto the mana.” I say.

Nel pets my head, quiet as she thinks.

“Cycle it.” Eshya says, poking her head around the corner, “Circulate it around your body.”

I try as she says, rather than pushing the mana against my skin, I stir it around my body. At first, it’s with my heartbeat, pulsing all around my body and filling my skin and flesh with power.

This becomes a problem as the mana leaks out in the moments between the pulses. Each pause draining me of a little more of my already meagre energy.

So, instead I keep it going. No pulses. A steady, constant flow through my limbs, and my head, and stirring around in my chest. I reach every part of my body, the pins and needles helping to guide me to those places I miss.

Finally, the pressure and pain subdue. It doesn’t disappear, not yet, but I see the end. With enough mana the pains will go away, but to get more mana I need to suck more of it inside, letting it cut up my insides instead.

“Food,” Nel says, pressing a small brown loaf of bread on me, “Eat.”

I don’t have the mental presence to respond, quietly stuffing small chunks into my mouth and trying to get it down. It hurts, the mana in the food powerful enough to cut as I swallow it down, but now I understand what it is. I pull at this mana, too. Absorbing it and cycling it around my body.

To distract myself, I check my chip, looking for any changes.

~Fire Magic: Grade 1

Current goal: Complete a mana-fire conversion.

~Mana Form: Grade 1

Current goal: Develop your mana form.

Current mana density: 9 units

My mana density is up.

It’s a good sign. I look through the rest of the classes, finding whatever looks interesting, hoping for something that will help me. Anything interesting I add to my class list to look through later.

“Hey, Nel, this is real right?” I ask, feeling my consciousness floating about in uncertainty, “All the dead people, all the pain. This isn’t a dream, is it?”

“It isn’t.” she quietly affirms.

“Thought so.”

But then…

Why is it that I’m not so frightened as I should be?

Why is it that I’m able to handle all this pain?

Why is it that the corpses, and murders, and violence don’t bother me at all?

Why aren’t a weeping wreck right now?

I cycle the mana, and think, and think, until finally sleep takes hold. I vaguely see a message pop up and a voice quietly whisper in my ears.

~Skill developed.

~Defensive Techniques (Grade 1): Mana Skin

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

~Mana Form: Grade 1

Current goal: Develop your mana form.

Current mana density: 23 units

~Fire Magic: Grade 1

Current goal: Complete a mana-fire conversion.

~Space Magic: Grade 1

Current goal: Complete a mana-space conversion.

~Healing Magic: Grade 1

Current goal: Complete a mana-life conversion.

~Defensive Techniques: Grade 1

Current goal: Develop a Skill for reactive mana skin.

-Skills: Mana Skin

~Wilderness Survival: Grade 1

Current goal: Develop a Skill for tracking.

~Bestiary Studies: Grade 1

Current goal: Develop a Skill for identifying beasts.