Insane World

We leave behind the markets heading towards the promised cleansing stones that might clean away the oily taste of bug guts. The hovering island and the inverted crystal tree that holds it up are hidden from view, but Nel seems confident in her navigation.

The busyness of the markets is nothing more than a memory here, where only a few other pedestrians pass us by. There has yet been no sign of cars, or any vehicles beyond the ships that still appear in the skies here and there.

The tall stone buildings around us are carved with simpler adornment than in other parts of the academy, the artistry restricted to around the window frames and doors. The buildings are all painted simply and show hints of wear.

“What’s this part of town?” I ask, curious about the purpose of all these buildings that all stand at least three stories tall.

“Housing, but I think it’s mostly empty.” Nel replies, “At least they were always empty when I was studying.”

“Huh…” I poke my head in through a doorway as we pass by. Inside is an empty hall ending in an elevator which looks to have been deactivated.

It leaves a lot of questions, but I’m not sure exactly what the implications of this are. Between the facilities underground and these houses, this world could potentially house a much larger population given there were the resources to cater to it.

My skin crawls as I look through the empty doors and windows of this small ghost town.

A silence builds between us, and I can hear our footsteps carry hollow throughout the street. A lump builds in my throat, and I feel the sword of Damocles hanging over my head.

Yet, there’s nothing around that might spell our imminent doom. Even though this city is built on old ruins filled with monsters, and it’s run by welfare officers that might decide we’re too ‘beastly’ to be free at any second.

I clench my hands to keep them from twitching.

“Kyra, are you okay?” Eshya asks, turning to face me.

“I’m… fine.” I’m sweating in my prickly dress, the mana friction still burning at me. I look around at the girls I’ve grown so close to, and I see strangers. People I’ve known only for a few days. People who were with me in hell, but strangers still in so many ways.

“Shit…” I press at my forehead and take a few deep breaths. I feel a pressing need to dive into another battle, or to do something, anything, that’ll help me to bury these feelings of uncertainty.

“You don’t seem fine.” Eshya persists, and the others are looking at me with the same concern.

“That’s because I’m not.” I admit, looking between them, and trying to force myself to see them as I did just a few minutes ago. Do they even look like this? Is my chip not just fucking with their lips but the rest of them as well? How much of this is real?

I bite my lip, lower my head and breath deep and slow. They’re my lovers… Our relationship may have been developed from desperation and shared trauma, but that doesn’t mean that it can’t continue to grow from there.

As for my trauma, it’s not something that will fade away in a day. I can’t be burying it all and pretending that it doesn’t exist.

I’m wrapped in warm arms and panic for a moment before I realize that it’s Eshya.

“It’s going to be okay.” She says, “You’re not the only one. I mean, I sort of liked that hell and it still got to me.”

“Am I weak?” I ask, “I thought I was getting to be strong. So why…?” I tremble as a chill runs through me.

“You are strong.” Nel says, crowding around my other side, “You saved my life.”

I feel warm, but still so hollow and frightened.

“I don’t feel this much fear even when in a fight for my life, so why now…?” I ask, reigning in my emotions as best as I can.

Vii hovers over, but has no words to share, wrapping her wings around us.

We huddle together for a while, breaking up after a time when our emotions have settled. Whatever had come over me before has faded away, but the general anxiety is still there.

As we walk the empty streets, I converse with the others to keep the silence at bay.

“What are your home worlds like?” I ask as we walk, thinking of all the strange worlds that must be out there and wondering what sort of worlds these girls grew up on.

I wonder about the ways these different cultures survive, how they all function, there’s always something to learn from it. Even if it’s what mistakes not to make.

“My home is quiet. It’s a curated world, like this one, but without any hidden ruins or beasts.” Eshya says, “There’s nothing to worry about, just go to school, find a hobby, and try your best to show off.”

“Show off?” Nel asks.

“Yeah, it’s just how people are, everyone wants to be more important than everyone else. They work hard at a craft or a hobby to be better than others, then they get snobby about it. Most parents push their kids into different crafts hoping to get snobbish about their children’s successes too.”

“I guess it was a bit like that back on Earth.” I say, “Not always about being genuinely more skilled though, and money was often a big part of it, but I guess it’s not that much different.”

“We don’t have much room for anything like that at home.” Nel says with a shake of the head, “We spend most of our time taking care of each other and working hard to keep our colonies fed and safe.”

“Safe?” I ask, “I didn’t think fighting was well regarded?”

“It isn’t,” She replies, “But there are ways to ensure the safety of a colony without investing in warriors and fighting.”

“But without violence?” I ask.

“To a certain definition.” She nods, “I don’t really understand what rules the welfare officers work under, but trapping, and corralling beasts to fight each other, seem to be acceptable practices. Especially when ensuring that the remains are well used.”

“That sounds a bit ridiculous. What’s the difference between killing a beast in a trap, and stabbing them with a spear? Or getting them to kill each other for that matter?” I ask, increasingly bothered by these strange rules.

“The act of killing can damage a person’s mind and spiritual state in ways that are difficult to heal.” Adler says between huffs of breath, “Where were you all?”

“Shopping.” I reply, waving over our clothes, “I think we came out with some rather nice outfits, what do you think?”

“That’s all? You left so early in the morning…” She says, looking between us as if trying to find a lie.

I notice Eshya smirking at my side.

“You’re not going to accuse us of fighting again so soon?” She asks, “We could go into more details of what we’ve been up to, but you seemed so bothered about it last night.”

Adler chokes up, her eyes opening wide.

“Outside?!” She shrieks. Vii is hiding her face, Nel is smirking a little more subtly compared to Eshya, and I have to admit that I can’t hold back a little laughter at the sight of her expression.

“Do you want to know?” Nel asks, getting close enough that the white-haired young woman is clearly growing uncomfortable.

“So- so long as you weren’t doing anything you shouldn’t be.” She says, quite startled. “But please keep that sort of conduct out of the public.”

“Is it considered ‘beastly’?” I ask, as we start back on our way to the island.

“You shouldn’t ask such things from a welfare officer,” she replies.

I bite my tongue and smile. A soft touch, Kyra. A soft touch. That means no yelling at her.

“What you were saying earlier. I’ve killed things before, you think that I’m damaged?” I ask calmly.

“I… yes, but you already know the damage that I’m talking about, don’t you?” She asks, with a sad smile.

After that breakdown it’s difficult to deny that I’ve taken some ‘damage’ to a certain definition, but I suspect that it’s more the trauma of what we’ve lived through rather than the act of killing that’s done it.

The rebellious attitude that I’ve been nursing, this whole empress thing as well, I’ve already come to terms with the realization that this is a defence mechanism to help me survive. I don’t think it’s ‘damage’ though, rather it’s a strength that I need to polish and harness.

“I wouldn’t say that it has damaged me,” I reply. “The entire experience has certainly changed me, but I’m not something broken that you need to fix.”

Alder smiles as she nods slowly, but I don’t think she believes me. From her expression it feels more like she’s listening to a petulant child trying to argue a silly point.

I have to bite my tongue again, especially when I look at the others. It’s not just me that she wants to fix, but Eshya, Vii, and Nel, as well. I grate my teeth and hold back from blowing up at her.

“Are you hungry?” I ask, suppressing my building anger. “We’re heading to lunch, you’re coming along with us?”

“I will be.” She says cheerily.

“You didn’t have many friends as a kid, did you?” Eshya says, not even turning to face her.

“I did just fine with the friends I had.” She declares, with only a little hesitation. She is cute enough, but her attitude makes her difficult. She’s just like that kid who is adamant about following the rules and dobbing everyone in to the teacher; I’ve known plenty of her sort before.

Now that I think about it…

I look over my shoulder at her as she follows us. She stands tall with her chin up. Turning to meet my gaze, she quickly grows nervous but that somehow doesn’t seem to affect her confidence.

So, she’s just a smug little kid who thinks she knows better than everyone else because she’s on the teacher’s side…?

“You are sort of cute, aren’t you?” I say, and she startles in reaction. We keep moving and she has to rush to catch up to us before we leave her behind.

“What’s so cute about her?” Nel asks, glancing back at her without even trying to hide it.

“She’s earnestly trying her best, she’s just a bit clueless. It’s endearing.” I say, carefully considering the risks in my words.

“I get it, I get it!” Vii adds excitedly, “The way her big kitty ears flop about when she gets emotional, and the way she puffs up her chest when she thinks she’s right. She’s cute, just wish she wasn’t… you know…”

“I mean she has a nice body,” I elbow Eshya in the side for that comment.

“Not as sexy as you are, though.” She says, rolling her eyes.

“That’s not what I was…” I sigh, rubbing at my brow.

Adler is looking between us in growing uncertainty, her cat-like ears flicking about anxiously.

We get to the magical lift and summon it. The strange feeling of being lifted off of the ground and held in place returns as the scenery shifts, my eyes again returning to the crystal tree beside us. The light may not shine as it did this morning, but it’s still quite beautiful.

“What’s with the tree?” I ask, “How does it hold the island up?”

“Magic?” Vii answers, with her head leaning to the side.

“Space magic, I’m not certain about the details.” Nel says.

Eshya just shrugs.

“It stabilises space.” Adler says, “I’m sure you saw a similar tree on the ship you took to get here, that’s something like a cousin to this tree and it’s able to warp space around it. If you want to understand how, I could point you to a few classes which should cover the topic.”

“How does it get enough mana to maintain all this?” I ask.

“The air around it.”

“I’d think that it would need far more mana than what it can suck from the air.”

“If that was so, it would’ve fallen by now, no?” She replies, and I can’t help but suspect her knowledge is perhaps a little faulty. Her group is seemingly clueless about the monster infestation below our feet after all, so it’s not like I can trust their investigatory abilities. I might have to take my classes with a bit of extra doubt and scientific scepticism.

“How are you guys with science?” I ask.

“Science?” Eshya says, clearly speaking the word for the first time. I wonder a moment about what sound she’s actually making that Chip is reinterpreting to me, but that line of thought just drags me down into that same panic as before.

“Investigating the world, trying to systematically figure out how the world works through experiments and stuff like that.” I say, trying to figure out how to describe it.

“There’s not really that much more to figure out, is there?” Nel asks, “People already know how the world works, if you want to learn, there are classes here that should teach it all. It is a lot of knowledge though, so no one person could ever learn it all.”

“So, you’re saying this civilisation already knows everything?” I ask doubtfully.

“Sort of,” Nel replies with a difficult expression, “There are always new plants, beasts, minerals, and everything, but they’re all just variants on what’s already understood.”

“This civilisation doesn’t know everything.” I reply, shaking my head.

“I’m sure it’s difficult to understand with the sort of education you’d get from your third grade civilisation.” Adler says, “But what she’s saying is true. Everything is already known.”

I wonder how it is that they explain human technology. Do they understand it and disregard it? Do they pretend to understand it, and disregard it? That lizardman from so long ago didn’t seem that interested in how jets and cars worked.

A mystery for later, I guess.

The elevator has reached the island as I’m lost in thought, and the dorm is only a short walk away.

“Aren’t we going to the restaurant?” Adler asks.

“We need to clean up first, I can’t get the taste out of my mouth. Nel thinks that the cleansing stones in the dorm will help.” Vii says, “I hope so.”

“You can’t get the taste out of your mouth…?” Adler blushes bright, obviously coming to the wrong conclusion, but no one wants to correct her on it.

We head to the dorm and immediately take the elevator up. It doesn’t take long to get ahold of the stones, and I instantly feel the strange phenomenon running over my skin, but it does nothing for my mouth.

“Have your mouth open when you use it.” Nel suggests, doing just that. It’s more than a little disturbing to see the waste slipping from her lips and rolling down her body to the drain.

“I hate that these things actually work…” I say, activating it once again. This time I can clearly feel the cleansing stone working on the oils stuck in my mouth. The semi-liquid waste is drawn out and runs down my front, it’s clinging crawl feeling just as awful as last time.

I run my tongue around my mouth and feel my clean teeth, the oily feeling is gone but the flavour hasn’t disappeared entirely. It still haunts me, even if it should be gone.

We head to the restaurant, while I’m hoping that plan B might clear away the horrible taste. The sight of the distant world tree that hangs over us captures my sight as we walk the final stretch. It’s a strange sight, but it’s stranger to think that it might soon become something normal to me.

It seems that we’ve beaten the lunch rush, if there even is one here, and we’re able to settle into a table large enough for all of us without any trouble. I drape my new jacket over the back of the chair and carefully shift my dress to sit properly. I try to act more dignified to suit my new attire, but I’m not sure it quite works out.

“Spicy, spicy, spicy…” I don’t want that sweet and spicy dish today, but something more hot-spicy to either clear away this remnant taste in my mouth or burn my mouth so bad that I can’t feel it anymore.

“Try this one,” Vii says, handing over a phantom bowl of soup. It’s a strange sensation to sip at air, but the mist enters my mouth and fills it with a fake hot spice. I even feel the texture of noodles.

“Not bad.” I put it back down but remember what it looks like as I try some of the others. I try some fake meat, and it does taste good, but even with it being just mist, my hands tremble and my mind travels back to that feast.

I might need to get past that trauma before I get back to enjoying meat again.

In the end, I settle on the noodles.

“So, what do you girls have planned for the rest of the day?” Adler asks, not at all as naturally as I’m sure she’s trying for. Though considering she’s still sweaty from running around searching for us I don’t think there’s any subtly left in her.

“We might look around a bit. Enjoy the peace.” I say, “What do you girls think?”

“There are a few nice places we could visit.” Nel says.

“Not as many as back at home.” Eshya moans, “Once we’ve seen this one academy, we’ve seen the whole world.”

“It is a little boring isn’t it,” Vii says, “Where are the beaches, the festivals, and the parties?”

“Talking about that, we never got the chance to talk about your home, Vii.” I point out, “What was life like where you come from?”

“Me?” She asks nervously with a little laugh, “It’s nothing so interesting.”

“I find that difficult to believe,” Nel says.

“You’re definitely holding out on us,” Eshya adds.

“It was normal. Well, normal for me at least.” Vii says, “I had a lot of freedom growing up, but it’s like that for everyone where I come from. My world is a bit chaotic, with all sorts of species and cultures interacting. Something of a trade hub, I guess.”

“Trade hub? Aren’t you from a second grade civilisation?” Adler asks.

“Something like a trade hub, I mean.” She corrects herself with some awkward laughter, “What about you Kyra? What was your world like? What’s life like in a manaless civilisation?”

She quickly stuffs her mouth with food and the rest of us quietly agree to let her off the hook. With Adler here, we can’t risk pressing her for potentially dangerous details.

“It’s pretty good. Technology gives us all the luxuries that magic does here.” I say, trying to describe the wonders of technology. It’s difficult to impress them when planes and cars can’t compare to teleportation, and skilled mages with strong mana forms can get to the moon without too much trouble.

“So, these phones are like the message system in the new support devices?” Eshya asks, “Now that’s useful.”

“I like the idea of a portable library that you can search as efficiently as you describe.” Nel says, amazed at the magic of search engines.

“All of this is managed without mana?” Vii asks, mumbling to herself, and writing in her little red diary. Watching closely, I think I can see the movement of the wind that she’s using to support her grip. Talents sure are useful, using magic on something so small without worrying about wasting mana.

“It’s certainly strange, but I’m sure some of the teachers here could explain how it all works if they were given an example to look at.” Adler replies, not even slightly surprised at the wonders of technology.

I have, of course, held back on the wonders brought about by gunpowder. That’s one thing that I’m hoping I can replicate in the classes here. I can already see myself with a big magic powered minigun, shooting down my foes all at once.

No, I’m an empress. I should be ordering around an army of shock troops who all wield magic miniguns.

“You have quite the evil expression there, Kyra.” Eshya says, “You having some fun daydreams?”

“Maybe,” I say slurping up some noodles with as much dignity as I can manage. It’s hot enough to bring tears to my eyes, and even the memory of the oily bug guts have faded away in the face of chilli’s unrelenting power.

I focus my attention back on Adler, wondering yet again how we can get her on our side more properly. Thankfully we still have plenty of time, so long as we don’t have any surprises, but I’d still like to have a proper plan for dealing with her.

From everything I know of her and have learned about her, I can’t help but think that simple conversation won’t change her mind. Neither will throwing her in the dark pits to fight against monsters in the underworld help change her mind.

It’ll need to be something emotional.

Why do people join cults? From my extremely limited perspective, that’s probably wrong, and god damn it I should head back to Earth and gather up some talented psychologists, maybe it’s something about a feeling of community?

The welfare officers give her an ideology to believe in, a community to support her, and a way to feel like she’s doing some good in the world.

If I want to break her out of it, and others after, I’ll need to offer a community, an ideology, and a safe sense of morality to replace what the welfare officers deliver, while breaking all that she currently believes in and values.

Easy.

I’ve already pointed out a few things that should have tickled her conscience, but she was able to listen to the other humans screaming in pain without questioning her belief that it was right and necessary.

I’ll need something more, but only after I’ve given her a space where she feels at home. A community, or optionally a cult, or an empire. Though that last one is still a stretch from here.

I look around the restaurant again, seeing students gathered in groups. If I want to find people free from indoctrination, or at least rebellious enough to question the established authority of the welfare officers, this is the place for it.

But trying to lead a large and unruly group of students at the moment would be counterproductive. Rather, I need to forge a small tight knit and talented group together.

In the movies it always comes naturally. Then again, in the movies the romances always take so long to build up into anything, so I can at least be glad that it’s not like that.

Though… it’s not like the romance has actually built between us properly, has it?

I look between my lovers gathered at the table and see people both familiar and yet also alien. I still barely even know them, yet I’m here strategizing how to form a tight knit rebel force?

The one thing that brought us together, the one thing holding us together, is shared trauma. That’s not some grand romance, it’s a damn tragedy. I need to turn this around.

“Okay, then.” I say, sitting back and letting the spices burn my mouth out as I begin to sort out my plans. “Seems I’ll find something to keep me busy. Time to put some real efforts in…”

“I think that you wear yourself thin enough as it is.” Nel says, “We can afford to take our time with our studies.”

“We can, but I don’t think I’ll be comfortable taking things slowly.” I reply, “I have goals to work towards, and for that ends… What sort of arts are common in the Unified States?” I ask, trying to think of a plan, “Movies, plays, stories?”

“Books and stories are around, but…” Eshya is hesitant to say more.

“It’s best to focus your times and efforts on something more productive.” Adler says, “Too many stories are bad for your health. What’s more, you wouldn’t believe the amount of resources some lesser civilisations waste on telling their stories.”

“Oh, I think I might.” I reply, stories have ever been a cornerstone of a civilisation. Even in the modern world it’s not unusual to try and control or censor foreign films and books. From the simple propaganda, to the stories that show a different world, they give people the idea that things can be different.

Now I’m not going to be building my own Hollywood over here. Not today at least. But grabbing some stories, films, and plays from a bunch of different cultures could probably help to undermine the power and influence of the welfare officers. It’s just a question of how much I can get away with.

“What about the murals I saw in the port and leading into the academy. There’s thousands of stories in that work of art.”

“Carvings and paintings help to develop an aesthetic environment. Such environments are good for the soul, and unlike other forms of storytelling it isn’t so wasteful.” Adler’s opinions on this are getting more and more bizarre.

I’m sure if I dig around, I can find some logic or reason behind this strange cultural belief, but to be honest, I don’t think that would help. Sometimes, strange people just believe strange things.

“So, is there anything that we can do here to relax and unwind?” I ask, thinking up date plans alongside how I’m going to gather the first members of my rebel empire.

“Dancing?” Eshya suggests, “It’s always been something I do to relax.”

“Cooking, perhaps…” Nel says thoughtfully. No doubt considering all the extra mana we can squeeze into our diet, and perhaps how she might be able to make the bug guts into something actually edible.

“Vii, do you have any ideas?” I ask, stringing together loose plans.

“Star gazing… but I guess that’s not going to work here. Flying, but that’s not something you can do yet.” She constantly looks as if she’s coming up with new ideas that she’s quick to throw aside again a moment later, “I’m not sure I can think of anything else. What’s all this about anyway? I thought you were going to get us studying hard or something.”

“We are going to be studying hard, but there’s more to life than study. It’s good to have friends, isn’t it? So, Adler, what do you think? Am I too beastly to be friends with?” I lean over the table nearer to her, watching her every shift in expression.

“I wouldn’t say that…” Adler replies uncertainly.

My first real challenge on the path to being a true and great leader. I need to make her mine, and without letting her fellow welfare officers know it.

It’s not that different from stealing her heart, is it? A leader is meant to live in the hearts and minds of their followers…

I look around to Esya, Vii, and Nel.

I suddenly feel out of my depth, but then again that seems to be when I’m at my best.

“Why are you smiling?” Adler asks, watching me with frightened eyes.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

~Mana Form: Grade 1

Current mana density: 109 units

~Mana distribution:

Skin: 21%

Muscle: 7%

Mind: 4%

Cardiovascular: 7%

Misc.: 1%

Efficiency: 39%

~Skills:

-Mana skin

-Mana shield.

-Mana surge strike

-Flame burst

-Fireball

-Infused Delayed Casting