My Fake Boyfriend Is Delicious

When Lucia woke up, she did not recognize the room. A white cat was staring at her.

“What happened? Did someone attack you?” Ben asked, standing in front of her in his red pajamas, holding a katana. Probably silver.

Oh right, she had followed Ben into his apartment, and he had invited her to spend the night there. As the idiot gentleman he was, he had given her his bed while he slept on the couch.

“Nothing, it’s fine,” she said, stretching out her arms.

“But didn’t you scream?”

“Oh, yeah, I do that sometimes.”

“You... Are you really fine?”

The cat licked her arm.

“Even Miss Snow is worried about you,” he said. He lived alone in his one-bedroom apartment. Alone with his cat. He set down his sword and sat on the bed.

“It must have been hard living with those... monsters.”

Just like all the other humans. Pure bigotry. Assuming the worst only because her mother happened to be a monster. Sure, she wasn’t exactly the best mother, but that was beside the point.

“Well, you don’t have to talk about it. But you can tell me things if you want to, alright? Oh, and I made breakfast!”

He had cooked an omelet. It couldn’t compete with anything her mother’s cooks made, but she appreciated the effort.

Once she became a full vampire, she wouldn’t have to eat any human food anymore. Was that a gain or a loss? She would miss the sun for sure. Still, she would finally become part of vampire society. She would grow stronger, she would age slower. Her mother would be proud.

“I thought about adding garlic...” he said. She coughed. “...but maybe since you’re probably used to living with vampires...”

“Some humans also don’t like the smell.”

“And you don’t?”

“I... I think it’s rude to smell like that in front of vampires.”

Very smooth, Lucia. You are a totally normal human. Nothing suspicious. Why do you even care? You are going to kill him anyway.

Miss Snow jumped into her lap and purred.

“Feeling full already?”

“Yes,” she lied. Well, she was certainly full of human food. But her real hunger had only grown sharper since yesterday. Soon she would not be able to control herself. That was one way to force a decision. Who would take care of Miss Snow, though?

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you,” she whispered.

“What?”

“Oh, nothing, just telling Miss Snow how beautiful she is.”

“She absolutely is. I normally hate cats.”

“And yet you have a cat?”

“She was a stray, and I had to save her.”

“Am I a stray too, then?”

There was a knock on the door.

“Hide in the bedroom. I’ll take a look.”

The front door creaked open. Peeking through the keyhole, she saw a tall middle-aged man with an unkempt beard standing in the doorway.

“Oi, Ben. Are you not going to let your father in?”

“I’d love to but I’m...”

“Too busy for your old man. I see.”

“Dad, it isn’t like that. It’s just bad timing, I...”

“Are you hiding something?” His father stepped inside.

Lucia sighed. She opened the door.

“Oh, you must be Ben’s father. He’s told me so much about you.”

“Oh, has he?”

“Dad, this is...”

“Luna,” she lied while shaking his father’s hand. His eyes stayed on her face, as if trying to place it.

“I am Rufus Grimscar, pleased to meet you. Oh, Ben, you didn’t tell me you had a girlfriend!”

“She... well...”

“The truth is we haven’t known each other for that long. Still, we love each other very much. He can barely keep his hands off me, right, darling?” she said and winked at Ben, who went red to the ears.

Talking about sex makes humans uncomfortable. That should keep him from asking further questions.

“Well... to be honest, I wasn’t sure my son would ever... I am glad he found someone.”

They passed the time with awkward small talk. Lucia sighed when his father excused himself.

“I’m sorry,” Ben said.

“Don’t be. He’s... nice.”

“I know he doesn’t look like much, but he used to be one of the greatest monster hunters.”

“So he got you into hunting?”

“No, he was really angry when I applied for my hunting license. He... he hasn’t been the same since... well, never mind.”

What kind of mess had she gotten herself into? Now there was a witness. A bloody monster hunter. She looked exactly like her mother. After she killed Ben, his father would surely be questioned by the police, if they... She sighed again.

“So about you being my girlfriend...” Ben started. His ears went red again. Then he looked away.

She realized that she would love to spend more time with Miss Snow and Ben and even her future father-in-law. In a future that could never happen. She was growing hungrier by the minute. The longer she waited, the more painful it would be.

* * *

She lasted two more days.

Two days of Ben’s terrible jokes. Of Miss Snow curled up on her feet. On the second night he had fallen asleep halfway through a movie, his head sliding onto her shoulder. His neck was right there. She had counted his heartbeats until she lost count.

But now she had waited too long. She felt the saliva build up in her mouth. Her fangs were out.

Run away. Somewhere where you can’t hurt Ben. It was too late.

She was in Ben’s bedroom. Her body moved on its own. She opened the door.

There he was. Sitting at the table, smiling when he saw her. That idiot. That tasty little idiot.

She needed to stop herself. Somehow.

“Everything alright, Lucia?” he said, standing up and walking toward her.

No, you idiot. Stay away. Please!

Miss Snow growled. At least someone in this house had survival instincts.

“Get away from me!” Lucia cried out.

“What’s...”

She couldn’t control it anymore. She bit. Into her own arm. It was disgusting. Vile. Drinking your own blood was not something you did. Not even when you were desperate.

“Lucia, you have fangs...”

Now he knows the truth. Now he is going to kill you. Or at least die trying. You gave him a fighting chance.

“But the sunlight... You’re not a vampire...”

“I am not,” she said, sinking to the floor. She sobbed.

Drinking her own blood did not satisfy her hunger. It could not. It was so revolting that it ruined her appetite for a moment. But it would come back.

Ben knelt beside her. “But you’re not human either.”

“No. I am... My mother got turned into a vampire when she was pregnant with me. My father didn’t know. I am a freak of nature. Something between two worlds.”

“A daywalker. I’ve read about them. They’re so rare I didn’t...”

“So, are you going to kill me now, or what?” Lucia asked.

Ben looked at her. She couldn’t read his expression.

The door burst open. A tall man with a bowler hat stood in the doorway. Tom. Her mother’s henchman.

“Princess, I am here to save you!”

She jumped to her feet.

“Thank you, Tom. You arrive at the perfect moment.”

“Princess?” he asked as she sank her fangs into his neck.

Goatkin blood was hardly tasty, but it would do. She kept drinking.

“Lucia, Lucia, stop! You’ll kill him.”

She felt only hunger.

One of Ben’s feet landed on her head. He had kicked her in the head.

She fell, torn from Tom’s neck.

“Lucia, are you alright? I’m sorry. I had to stop you. He might be a bad guy, but he’s just a henchman you can’t...”

If she had kept feeding, she would have killed Tom. She would have become a full vampire. Which was the plan from the start. Right? She wanted to finally belong in at least one world. But then, she felt... glad that Ben had stopped her. Why?

“He’ll be sleeping for a while, but he should be alright,” Ben said while laying the unconscious goatkin on the couch.

“I’ll need a new door, though.” He laughed.

“How can you laugh? I am a monster! I lied to you!”

Ben looked at her for a long while.

* * *

“You know, you could have just asked.”

“Asked what? ‘Hello, I’m a monster, may I bite you?’”

“Dad always said there’s no such thing as a good monster. You hesitate, you die. I never questioned it. Ever since Mom...” He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. He didn’t finish. “But you, you would rather bite your own arm than bite me.”

Lucia didn’t ask. Some stories you only told in nightmares.

She looked out of the window. They had to flee the apartment now that they had been found.

Miss Snow sat in her carrier on the back seat, meowing constantly as they drove to a hut in the woods. The cat didn’t appreciate the change of scenery, but they had been too worried to leave her behind.

Maybe this is all a trap. He’s just pretending he doesn’t mind. He is a human, after all. They can’t be trusted. There are probably some of his monster hunter friends waiting there. I am going to get murdered.

“I made some snacks in case we get hungry. Feel free to eat something,” Ben said.

I really like him, don’t I?

“It’s my father’s old hunting lodge. Hasn’t been used for ages. It’s very quaint. I think you’ll love it.”

She had never had a boyfriend. Most men, or rather boys, had been too scared of her mother to make a move. Then again, there were so many handsome vampire gentlemen. They aged slowly, after all. Why in the bloody hells did it have to be a human? And one who hunted her kind, no less? It was just because he was the first to actually pay attention to her. Surely, that was it. It wasn’t love love.

“You’re not wearing your necklace,” he said.

“I think my mother tracked us using it. It is infused with magic. She has people who can sense it. I threw it away.”

“Didn’t it have... sentimental value?”

They arrived at the hut. Wait, was there another car parked on the other side? When she opened the door, something clicked. A net shot at her.

Electricity jolted through her and dropped her. Monster hunters used such nets to catch people like her.

Two men approached, one still holding the net launcher.

She had been a fool. She had known it would end like that. All humans were the same.

“Good job, Ben! You did the right thing bringing this creature here!” a deep voice said.

Ben said something. She couldn’t make it out.

She closed her eyes.

“We can use this beast to force Delilah out of hiding,” another voice said and laughed. They are laughing at my stupidity.

She would die here. And she would be the bait that killed her mother.

* * *

Lucia woke up to Miss Snow licking her hand. She was lying on her side in a dark room. They had tied the ropes cruelly tight. The knots bit into her wrists.

“Miss Snow, could you use your claws to free me?”

“Meow.”

I have completely lost it.

Miss Snow flopped down and cuddled up to her. She purred.

“You’re doing your best to comfort me, huh?”

A door creaked. Ben stood over her, his katana in hand.

The cat hissed at him.

“I guess I deserve this.”

“So, let me guess, time to finish the job?”

“I’m sorry, Lucia. I didn’t mean to...”

“It’s fine. I understand.”

“You do?” He lowered the katana a little.

“You are just a filthy human. We are natural enemies.”

He looked hurt. He shouldn’t. He had played her for a fool. How long had he planned this? Had everything been a lie?

A shining hero saving poor, poor Lucia from her evil mother. No, she had been the target from the start. He didn’t care about her. He had only been pretending.

All this time she had felt guilty about lying to him. She should have killed him when she had the chance. She would never make that mistake again. Well, she wouldn’t get to make any more mistakes. It was over. Mother had always been right. Humans are filth. If only she had listened to her.

His katana came down on her. Her arms came free. Was he... No, she would not fall for it. Not this time.

Her fangs were ready. She found his neck.

“Lucia, stop, please.”

She would not stop.