Prologue - Thoughts out loud

I spend a lot of time thinking - perhaps even too much - and it doesn’t really help me or those around me.
But do the people around us think? The answer, of course, is yes: our entire lives consist of it. Everyone is thinking about something - whether it’s their studies, a game, or, say, a favorite anime character. And yet, no one knows for sure exactly what another person is thinking about. These are perfectly ordinary, fundamental cognitive processes, and there is absolutely nothing surprising about them.

What if someone isn’t a "typical" person? I’m not saying that most people are all the same or easy to read - in fact, I truly believe that every individual is unique in their own way - but still... what if the person I happen to be sitting near on a bus is contemplating something profound, something unconventional - something I might not even be able to grasp? Does that make them special? How long have I gone without noticing such people? How many have I missed throughout my life? And is there any guarantee that we would have even been able to find common ground?

Anyway, I won’t drag this out: even in a small country - even in a small town - I’ve managed to find people like that.

I feel like myself.

But do I even have the right to think? It’s such a foolish question that I don’t even understand myself - it’s obvious that everyone has that right; after all, it’s your own life. Deep-seated convictions won’t lead anywhere; you just need to live.

I once heard the saying: "The less you know, the better you sleep."

With each passing year, I grasp the meaning of those words more and more. Could it be that the hours spent in this life are so exhausting for a person? And yet, the hours of any individual’s life are worth more than any amount of money, fame, or precious treasures.

Ultimately, it is up to you to decide how to spend these hours of your life - and how to make the best possible use of them.

Objectively speaking, the quote above offers several explanations as to why childhood often seems so carefree and happy - though for some, even this "best stage of life" can prove harsh and unfair. But let us not dwell on that; let us return to the main point. In childhood, we know almost nothing, and even the most trivial action can bring us joy or sadness.The worst thing that could happen is waking up in the middle of the night and crying, thereby waking one’s parents; yet, we wouldn’t even remember it, as it is virtually impossible to retain memories of events from that period of life. 

I genuinely envy those who are able to recall their own childhood.

These were my last thoughts before drifting off to sleep; at the time, I didn’t yet realize that this was the final night of summer and that tomorrow, I would have to head back to my studies.

My train of thought kept me from dwelling on that, and I had no inkling of just how drastically my life was about to change.