LVIII | Meaning

❦

After I kissed Rowan
at the cafe,

I feel like I understand her

less.

I notice her
looking

over

at me

during class
and her eyes

pray for my prelim results to be okay.

Has she always
watched me
like this
without me knowing?

Stop it, Clyde. Focus.

The teacher is giving out
answer booklets now.

I need to pass this exam.

After the exam,
I leave school with ming.

We see Rowan
under the naked rowan tree.

She's just sitting there,
staring into space.

Blood
streaking down her eyes
onto her cheeks

to her chin.

'Did you make her cry?'
Ming asks.

I shake my head.

He doesn't see blood.
To him, it's tears.

The next day,

I catch her after the first paper
to take a closer look.

The area around
her eyes

is red like she's been
crying

but there's no blood.

'Are you okay?' I ask.

She smiles
instead of giving her usual

apathetic

expression.

We're behind the classroom.

There are still students
walking by

but Rowan
puts her arms
around me,

buries her head
in my chest.

'I had a nightmare last night
'that's all.'

'What was it about?' I ask.

She doesn't mind
when I touch her
anymore.

I should be happy.

Triumphant even.

But I'm still discontented.
Confused.

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