Chapter 90:
The Rowan Tree
❦
Tossing and turning,
I can't sleep
because my room smells of ash.
Lies.
I play back
what just happened.
Sucker.
I can almost hear
her saying that.
I bury my head
in my pillow
and groan loudly.
The clothes in her bag,
her house that turned out to be
a friend's place.
So sly! That 狐狸精!
If I was who I used to be,
I'd want revenge.
Playing me for a fool
like that...
Rowan comes to mind
and I'm paralysed.
Is this how it's going to be
from now on?
Continuously used by other people,
feeling like crap because
I can't get back at them?
#*%& lah.
I listen to the air-con unit
making noise in the dark.
Then I remember
something else
that happened.
I don't think I'll be able
to sleep at all tonight.
❦
As soon as I get to class,
I call Ming out.
He pauses, mid-laugh
to glance at me.
I think he's thinking of
ignoring me.
Maybe there's something on my face
that changes his mind.
because he
gets up,
follows me to the end of the corridor
where I face him
and speak angrily.
'You accused me of using you.
'You said I betrayed you
'but you were the one
'using me the whole time.'
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