XCVI | Milk

❦

I didn't go to school
for the rest of the week.

On Sunday,

at the bus stop
with her family,

Rowan said,

'You should
'talk to your friends
'tomorrow.'

I asked why.

She shrugged
and suggested that

maybe they need
my help.

I told her I'm already
an unwanted presence
in their lives.

Maybe to them,

I'm the one
who killed him.

Like Ming's parents,
they don't open
the gate anymore

and the door
is always locked

even when it gets
really hot
and humid.

'You said you'd live
'in the real world,'
was her last word on this.

So after school,
I follow Kumar to the canteen.

I sit with them.

For the first time
in a long time.

Shuhui's chewing
the stick of her lollipop.

'Looks like
'someone's decided
'to show face at last.'

Not all of them
bother to glance at me.

Nora comes
a bit later,

her whole body
tenses
when she sees me.

It hurts
my pride

more than I thought it would.

Kumar makes an effort
to talk about something
on our way
to the park

but everyone's
in a bad mood.

So even Kumar
runs out of things to say.

We just
walk in silence.

Like a funeral procession.

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