Pain Explains Modern Conveniences

All around the castle, there were whispers about the Dark Commander in a bad mood as he walked to who knows where. The rumors of his bad mood even made it to the Demon Lord. Upon hearing about it, she set out immediately to find out what was going on.

She finally found him as he was walking into the goblins' workshop.

"Pain, wait!" she shouted as he walked in; having not heard her, the door closed behind him. She sighed and entered the workshop after him.

Pain was standing in the center of the room with the goblins crowding around him. He had a chalkboard behind him and was writing on it as he spoke to them.

"Okay, so after you flush the toilet, it goes into the sewer system. This feeds out to a water treatment plant where it is cleaned so it can be reused."

"Dark Commander, what are you doing?" the Demon Lord asked as she walked up to the crowd.

"Oh, hey Charlotte, I am just explaining indoor plumbing to the goblins. We are going to retrofit this castle with all the modern conveniences no matter what."

"I don't think we need this indoor plumbing."

"Believe me, we do. But, we're not just going to stop there. I'm hoping to have a functioning HVAC system, electric light, hot water, and whatever else we can pull off!"

The Demon Lord sighed.

"Okay, if you can convince me that it is practical, we can devote a team of goblin engineers to this retrofit." She sat down next to the goblins.

"Milady, you don't need to join us here!" one of the goblins shouted, but the Dark Commander continued with his pitch.

"Okay, so I think we can route the plumbing in the castle to a facility in the deadlands, it is a half-hour horse ride from here, but there are no concerns of the waste corrupting any of flora and fauna in the immediate area. The water will go through several stages of cleaning until it is safe to let it reenter the environment."

The goblins all muttered to themselves. They were interested in the undertaking of this project.

The Demon Lord sighed.

"Approved; I'll let Chief Newton decide how the project will be managed," she said. The goblins cheered.

"Okay, next up is the hot water, imagine if you could fill up a tub, and the water was already warm, to begin with," Pain said.

"Approved," the Demon Lord quickly said. She blushed as everyone looked her way. "Ahem, Demon Lord's should not be expected to take cold baths," she added.

"Anyway, moving on to the next thing," Pain continued explaining the improvements he wanted to make to the castle.

The Demon Lord ended up approving all the major projects he wanted to do, and the goblins eagerly got to work. Pain smiled and nodded as he watched the goblins break into teams and discuss how they would accomplish the massive castle's retrofit project. He walked out of the room to leave them to their work.

"Pain wait!" the Demon Lord called out after him. She ran to catch up with him, then matched his pace.

"Ah, Charlotte. Wassup."

"It's good you want to improve the castle, but you need to refrain from storming into the goblins' workshop like that."

"Why not?"

"The goblins are supposed to be creating new weapons of war, not your indoor plumbing and stuff."

"I gave them ideas for weapons too, like when those demon rabbits were infesting the forest."

"Ah yes, a hand grenade, as you called it. That does sound nice, but it seems rather unreliable to use."

"I suppose in a world with magic; it would seem that way."

"Anyway. I can't have you divert too much attention from weapons manufacturing. Please put all requests in through the official channels from now on.

Pain sighed.

"Sure. I don't think I'll have anything else for them to work on for a while. Now that I have had the records produced, I'm going to start recording music, after all!"

"Hold on," the Demon Lord stopped walking and grabbed Pains arm. He froze as her grip tightened. "What is a record? I don't remember approving that."

"Oh, yeah... I had the goblins make it just the other day when no one... was looking," Pain slowly said while avoiding looking Charlotte in the eyes.

"How many times have you had the goblin engineers make stuff for you?" The Demon Lord said with her brow furrowed.

"Um, how many times are you aware of?" Pain quietly asked.

"Thirteen since I first summoned you."

"It's a multiple of thirteen at least..."

The Demon Lord sighed and let go of his arm.

"Hey, don't get too mad. The magic in this world is useful for combining with my knowledge... and... and..." Pain stammered for an excuse.

"The past has already come and gone; there is no point getting angry at you over it. Plus, every time I try to punish you, we get another sports league."

"Don't worry, I am running out of sports to teach unless you think they might be interested in curling..." Pain's voice started to trail off as he considered the idea.

"Please, just try to avoid wasting time and resources that need to go to the war effort." The Demon Lord asked.

"Alright, I will refrain from making the goblins make anything else." Pain promised. He was sincere in his promise.

"Thank you," The Demon Lord gave a sigh of relief. She had gotten used to him being resistant to her demands, but it seemed like he had started to be a little more cooperative since he first helped her with paperwork in the library. Though only a tiny bit more cooperative as far as she was concerned. "Well then, since it is already over and done with, what is this record you have made?"

"Oh, I am glad you asked!" Pain excitedly said. He grabbed Charlotte's hand and gently pulled her along with him. "Come with me; it will be easier to show you!" he exclaimed. She pulled her hand away and followed after the excited Dark Commander while rolling her eyes.

Pain walked the Demon Lord through the castle to the concert hall. The seats were empty in the large hall, but a band of skeleton pirates played on the stage. The duo slipped into the room and quietly walked down the steps as the band finished its tune.

In front of the band, there was a device with a spinning disk. Pain walked the Demon Lord to the stage and stopped the device.

"What exactly is this?"

"Just wait." Pain dropped a needle on the disk and started the device again. Music started coming through the speaker.

No one said anything for a moment as the music the band had just been playing was coming from the device. They all stood in awe as the sounds played through it. In a short time, the recorded music began to circulate the castle and, shortly after, all around the country of Evuluss.