Starlight Bath

The sun in the distance slowly falls beyond the horizon, it’s light dulled by the many thousands of giant leaves of the world tree. The end of another long day, with plenty of progress made. My goals are that much nearer to me, but they still feel so far away.

I pause a moment, pressing my hand to my chest and feeling the powerful, painful beating of my heart as images of failure swirl about within my mind. Weak laughter escapes me as I control my breath and calm myself down.

Everything is likely to end in failure, but I’m already sure that this is worth the gamble.

The warm glow of the distant sunlight shines down over us, the sensation is enough to pull my mind back to the present and away from the unpleasant thoughts of the futures still to come.

“We’re fighting tomorrow, right?” Vii asks, walking beside me. We’ve left Eshya and Adler down in our base, as they take the chance to train with Barry. They seem to be getting along well enough, which is a little strange considering how much they are opposites to each other.

“Just scouting.” I say, “So long as everything goes as it should. Which it won’t.”

“You don’t want to train more?” She asks me, hopping by my side close enough that her feathers brush up against my side.

“The Skills I plan to use are already as good as I can get them, at least in this short of a time. Trying to learn anything new would just be a distraction at this point.” I reply.

Vii hums thoughtfully in response, nodding her head lightly. Her messy, shoulder-length, black hair bobs with her every movement.

“We’ll have to run from here someday.” She continues, her eyes sparkling with curiosity and excitement over any of the worry that’s far more deserved. She briefly flaps her wings, stirring the air around us.

“We will.” I say, watching the people passing by peacefully. “But doing something is better than doing nothing. That, and I will not stand aside as my people die.”

“Your people?” Vii asks, her glowing eyes turning to me as a smile rises on her lips. “Who are ‘your people’? Why do you think of us as your people?”

It takes me a moment to consider her question.

All sorts of strange people move in flows around us, some with bodies flesh, some of stone, some of harder bark, or even sap. Some seem stranger still, made up in ways that I can’t even fully understand.

This world, for all it’s troubles, is peaceful. Food is plentiful, and life is largely safe. There’s much to like about the life in this world, but I can’t change from the path that I’m walking.

I refuse to be powerless.

I refuse to let those I care for suffer, while I can do nothing about it.

“My people... I mean to say, anyone who’s life matters more to me than that of a stranger. I don’t want anyone to die, but ‘my people’ are those that I’m invested in. Those people that I know.” I say.

“Isn’t that selfish?” Vii asks, “What makes my life worth more than any other person that you don’t know?”

“Your life means more to me, and yes it’s selfish.” I say, pulling her close to my side as we pause in front of the clothing store. “I’m not a god. It’s not my place to determine the absolute value of a life, and I won’t do that. Instead, I’ll selfishly favour the lives of those that matter to me.”

Vii quietly nods, writing down something in her notebook again. It’s a little strange that I can’t make sense of the words that she scrawls, but I have plenty else to focus on at the moment.

Gemma, the silver fox that’s helped me before, is thankfully quite quick with returning my dress. I think she’s rushing to see the day over as she rushes me out the door. She only pauses a moment as she hears my thanks, smiling brightly before closing the door behind me.

“Is there anything you want to do?” Vii asks, “I think we should relax a bit. We’ve been running around all day, and yesterday before that, and the day before that.”

“It can’t hurt.” I say, still sorting out some of my new Skills using my new version of the multi-mind Skill. Even at rest I can’t afford to be doing nothing. A short elevator ride later, our dorm stands tall before us, and the thought of a warm bath has become increasingly tempting the closer we get to those doors.

“Well, not unless you don’t know how to take a bath.” Vii says with a laugh, “You could drown if you’re really careless.”

“I know you’ll save me.” I say heading inside.

Nel has returned to working at the café and is moving around with her practiced step. As ever, I find her speed, and the refinement of her motions to be incredible to see.

“What is it?” Vii asks, watching the same scene as I am. “She is pretty, but you’re staring.”

“I’m a bit tired.” I admit, shaking my head clear, “It’s something else to see how she moves. It might be normal here where there are Skills and stuff, but at home this sort of work is poorly paid and no-one ever actually tries to master it.

“It’s always just a way to make ends meet as you work towards something else.” I say, “I guess there might be some exceptions, but I never knew any.”

“Huh,” Vii says, as we get on board the elevator, “Different cultures do things differently, I guess. Things are strange here to me too, compared to back home.”

“You never did say anything much about your home.” I say, failing to suppress a yawn. We’re heading all the way up to the top floor, to the baths. There’s no need to get new clothes here, not with cleansing stones cleaning up anyway, which makes the process of taking a bath a little different.

“I can’t.” She replies, “It’s that thing I told you about. It’s dangerous to talk about some things.”

“Okay,” I reply, looking her up and down again, “Losing your device didn’t cause you any trouble?”

“I don’t know.” She replies, rather tensely. “I don’t know how it all works. I might be able to talk about it. I might not. Losing my Skills might be dangerous. It might not.”

“You don’t want to risk talking about it?” I ask.

“I…” She pauses looking over at me as the faint blue light of the elevator platform glows around us. “I’d like to keep things how they are.”

“Alright,” I say, putting aside my concerns. I’m busy enough as it is, so it’s rather easy to let these worries drift to the bottom of the list.

The platform comes to a stop, and the doors slide open. There’s no *ding* and that grinds at me more than it probably should, the slightly sci-fi sound of the door sliding just isn’t enough.

The top floor is as stunning as ever, though this time brightened by the light of a setting sun. The orange slowly overwhelming the gold.

Was this light alien to me once before? Now it feels as normal as the light from Earth.

The pool reflects a double image from the world outside, the glowing crystals of distant islands and buildings, the refracting light from the thousand crystal trees that hold the islands aloft, and the sunset itself.

A few other boarders have come here before us, and are already settled into the soothingly warm waters of the massive bath, that’s something more of a pool.

The cleansing stones make short work of the sweat and grime that’s built up over the day, and we strip away our freshly cleaned clothes to put in the little storage lockers. Though the lockers are something of a misnomer, since there’s no locks or doors.

While folding up my clean clothes, I realize once again just how backwards this is. Cleaning your clothes while still wearing them, only to take them off for a bath, it’s… strange.

Without wasting a moment more, I step into the water and immerse myself in the enveloping warmth of the still water. A slight steam rises up in the air around me as I rest my head on the side of the bath, staring out into the wider world.

Vii settles down beside me, her feathered wings rinsed briefly before she sits with them hanging over the side of the bath to dry

“It’s nice here.” I say, feeling drowsy. “I just wish… I wish, I didn’t have to worry. I wish the world was perfect, and I could just live a normal life, enjoying moments like this normally.”

“You wish you were normal?”

“Who would want to be a normal person living in a sick world. No, I wish that the world was agreeable.” I laugh, “Ridiculous, I know. So instead, I’ll make it agreeable; and probably do a million awful things on the way to that goal.”

“Is it okay to talk about this here?” Vii whispers, looking around.

“What does it matter?” I ask, “It’s all just talk anyway.”

Hearing more and more from Adler, I really don’t feel as worried anymore about being found out. Especially since our handler is already on our side.

“So long as it’s just talk.” She says, hesitantly, “Just because we can, doesn’t mean we need to take risks.”

“Yeah… I suppose I’m not very good at restricting myself.” I admit, “Another character flaw to add to the growing list.”

Vii giggles beside me, looking over at me before shaking her head and gazing further into the distance, apparently amused at my thoughts.

“Who do you want to become?” Vii asks kicking slowly in the water.

“In what way? I’m guessing, someone more powerful isn’t the answer you’re looking for?” I reply.

“If you lived in a kingdom in a time of peace. Would you be a ruler? Would you not? What would you do?” She asks, sinking herself deeper into the water.

“A ruler.” I say instantly, “Or maybe a dissident, or a hermit maybe. I can’t stand the thought of being ruled over by incompetent idiots, or selfish assholes, and that’s what most leaders turn out to be.”

“So, you’d be a selfish asshole? Or maybe an incompetent idiot?” She asks, with a laugh.

“Both, to a certain degree. It’s unavoidable.” I reply, shifting in the water and staring up at the roof. “But at least I’d be suffering for my own mistakes, which is far better than suffering because someone else fucked up. I can change myself; I can pay attention and do better the next time. I can try to fix what I break and I can avoid making the same mistakes again.

“The mistakes we’re surrounded by here, or in the wilds, or even back home. I could do nothing about it. I have to sit around and suffer the consequences of the stupid decisions of those in power. It’s…

“It’s like we’re all riding on a bus, and the bus driver is swerving all over the road, throwing back bottles of whiskey, and having a shouting match with his ex over the phone. I’m not going to sit quietly and wait for my stop. Licenced or not, I’m pulling the bus driver out of his seat and taking over.

“At least then, I’ll only suffer from my own bad driving.”

Vii looks up into the distant sky that has darkened now to the point where all we can see is the infinite expanse of glowing crystals from the countless other academies. They fight against the darkness, but not enough to light the world below. It’s as if we’re floating on a sea of stars, darkness above, and darkness below.

“Self-determination.” She says, “Why an empire then? Why not just become personally stronger? It’s possible here, you know. You could consume enough mana and theoretically become something close to a god. You wouldn’t need an empire, you wouldn’t need anything. In fact, an empire would do nothing but slow you down.”

“Isn’t that just that omega beast thing? Consume endlessly until you die cold and alone?” I ask, “No, I need my comforts. I need a break, a chance to sleep, and recreation, and luxury. Becoming powerful as a god, but left to sleep alone on a pile dirt? Screw that.”

“Ah, so you want to build an empire for a soft bed?” She asks looking back at me.

“Yeah, I guess.” I reply, “I don’t really need gold palaces and I’d prefer that my people don’t have to live in slums and starve to death, so I’m surely already better than most leaders. This place gives me a good example of one of the best worlds around, so long as I ignore the weird shit and everything going on in the ruins.”

“Eh,” Vii says, unimpressed, “I hate the anxiety here. The way we take things for free and have to hope they the welfare officers don’t think that it’s too much. The way we have to be careful what we say, and how even skipping class comes with threats. I hate that we can’t choose our futures and are expected to become what they tell us to become.”

“But you’re safe, fed, and have enough freedom that, with enough effort, you can pursue your hobbies.” I say, “That’s enough for most people. Here, there’s even plenty of luxuries on offer. It would be pretty easy to fuck up worse than this.”

“It’s strange to hear you defending this world.” Vii says, leaning on my shoulder. “But yeah, it’s not so bad here, I guess. At least for right now.”

The others in the bath are heading out, one at a time, and others are coming in. I’m keeping up with Nel, Eshya, and Adler in the chat, but with my new Skill it’s easy to let that fade to the back of my mind.

“Does it affect you?” Vii finally asks, her eyes closed tight, “The violence, and the awful things? Normally I’m fine, but then the thoughts come back and hit me from out of nowhere.”

“Meat.” I say, “It still sometimes bothers me eating meat because of our time working under Red. I still wonder if I ate a person back then, but the thought bothers me less and less. The invasive thoughts are still there, but it doesn’t make me sick anymore.”

She hums thoughtfully, floating beside me.

“I don’t like killing people.” She says, “I know why we killed them, but I don’t like it. I hate it.”

“Sorry.” I say, “You can leave that to me and Eshya in the future. We’re better able to handle that sort of business.”

“Did you… enjoy it?” She asks, her gaze turning to me again. I don’t see accusation, or fear, or disgust. Pure curiosity; an almost naïve curiosity that I’m not sure I could ever feel myself.

“Yes,” I admit, “Seeing Orsa dead and knowing that unlike some movie villain, she’s not coming back for a sequel, was unbelievably satisfying. Her plots and schemes lie dead with her. I bested her. I won. She’s gone, and now I can focus on other worries.

“For all her confidence, and all her plans. She held no power over me. My own fate was determined by my choices, not hers.” I say, “It’s pure bliss, to know that you’re in control of your own fate.”

“The death didn’t bother you? The blood, the gore?” She asks, from anyone else it would sound an accusation, but not from her.

“No, it doesn’t. Maybe a little at the start. Maybe I was born fucked up, or maybe I’m just… I don’t know.” I shake my head, thinking back to that goat girl, trampled, and butchered, and made into a meal.

“Some things only bother me later.” I say, “So perhaps there’ll be a moment when this too comes back and haunts my dreams, but I doubt it.”

Vii hums, just to make a sound and show that she’s listening, and thinking, and paying attention. It’s such a small thing, but it’s soothing to hear. To know that when I speak, I’m heard.

“I wonder if I’ll ever become ‘fucked up’?” She says, staring into the distance, “I think… if I ever get used to killing people. I think that would do it.”

“I’m sorry.” I say again, “You don’t have to get used to it. You don’t want you to change who you are. But, if there’s one thing I have to say, it’s that I won’t accept you dying. If I can’t save you, then fight for your life even if it fucks you up.”

“Don’t worry. I won’t let myself die,” She says, her cheeks reddening as she sinks into the water a little, turning away. “Why do you care about me?”

“Hmm?”

“Why me? I guess I wonder the same thing about the others, too. How did things turn out like this?” She asks, the gloomy lights behind us create a shadow over her face, but the sparks of light from the world outside still reflect from her eyes. She looks beautiful; afraid, confused, and a little lost, but beautiful.

“I don’t know.” I say, taking in the moment. “I don’t know. You’re fun, but that’s not why I fell in love. You’re pretty, but that’s not it either. There are a million reasons why a person would fall in love with you, but I don’t know which it was that first caught my attention.”

She turns to face me, a shade brighter for the way the light shines on us from behind. I hesitantly reach out and run a finger down her cheek, and brush her soft lips with my thumb.

“It’s your attention, maybe. The way you look at me, it makes me feel real. As if I’m the most important person in the room.” She blinks a few times, looking at me with that same gaze again.

“How is it that you see me?” I ask, “Who am I, in your eyes?”

A strange anxiety bubbles in my chest. In the darkness, hidden away deep inside where I don’t dare to show it, but then, she can sometimes see things that I’d rather she wouldn’t. My lies and disguises are oftentimes not enough.

“You’re special.” She says, “I can’t say how. I can’t tell you all the things… You’re different. Mad. Crazy. Courageous.”

She licks her lips, wetting my thumb.

“You’re fucked-up.”

“And that makes you love me?” I ask, unable to repress a laugh.

“It made me interested.” She says, “Curious, intrigued. It made me look, and then you looked back.”

“So, we’re just a couple of idiots, looking at one another. Falling in love because the other looks back?” I ask.

“We’re more than a couple.” Vii says, “How many of us are there now, in this harem? Should we include Adler or not? She’s still on the side lines, waiting to be called in.”

“Really?” I ask, “I thought we were waiting for her to have the ambition to join us of her own accord.”

“I’m a little anxious of waiting.” Vii says, “Am I too impatient?”

“It’s fine.” I say, “But, I get first dibs.”

“Of course, we all already know that you’re greedy and selfish.” She says with a laugh, before a brief, pleasant silence falls between us. “What do they call this?”

“What?”

“This sweet moment where everything is perfect, and happy, and we have no arguments, and just love each other so perfectly. What’s it called?”

“The honeymoon phase?” I ask, hoping the words translate into what she’s seeking.

“That.” She says with a smile, “Soon enough, we’re going to fight, and argue. There’ll be drama, especially with how many of us are together. We’ll have doubts, and there’ll be jealously, and all sorts of other things.”

“Why do you sound so happy about that?” I ask, seeing her brighten so much as she spins about in the water before facing me. The light suddenly focusing all on her, as she smiles towards me.

“There’s no love without drama.” She says as if quoting something, “Rediscovering affection after a fight, is like falling in love all over again, and with you it will ever be as sweet as the first time. So let us fight a million times, so we can fall in love a million times more.

“That’s what I want.” Her eyes shine brighter than all the stars at her back.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Skills & Stats

~Mana Form:

Current mana density: 789 units

~Mana distribution:

Skin: 28/28%

Muscle: 0/12%

Mind: 0/65%

Cardiovascular: 0/11%

Misc.: 0/10%

Efficiency: 25/79%

~Favourited Skills:

-Chip Shredder

-Multi-mind

-Tag

-Mana surge movement

-Mana surge punch

-Reactive mana skin

-Infused delayed Casting

-Fire burst punch