Pain and Girolamo Have Drinks

Pain and The Hero sat down at the bar, and Pain set the sword next to his stool. The Hero's party joined the hero at the bar sitting so that he was the only one next to Pain.

"What will it be?" Onyx asked as she floated on her broom behind the bar.

"Let's start with some Ale, can't give them something too strong to start," Pain said after some thought.

"You fiend, you think a dwarf would be content with something light!" the dwarf yelled while banging the bar.

Pain was sure the dwarf said he wasn't going to drink, but he decided not to bring it up. Now that the battle at the castle was defused and that he had gotten the Hero to join him, he intended to handle this as diplomatically as possible. He really didn't want himself, or Charlotte, to have to fight in a serious battle.

"I thought the Dark Army Witch was one of the leading commanders and that she had a long nose and warty face," The Hero said after Onyx had flown away to pour drinks.

She suddenly was in front of him and banged large steins of ale onto the bar.

"Sir, you must be mistaking me for my mother," she said in a friendly tone but with a menacing face. She was, in fact, one of the four generals of the Dark Army. After her mother retired, she had taken up the position, but many in the Kingdom of Bright assumed that it was the same witch the whole time.

"Hey, don't bring that up. She's got good hearing, and it's a sensitive topic for her," Pain whispered to the Hero.

"Ah, Pain, don't be silly," Onyx said with a smile while sliding the ales down the counter to the hero's party. Each member received a stein and looked at the ale within it.

While they were looking at the glasses, Pain downed his whole drink. The Hero cautiously tried a sip of his.

"It's not bad; I would not have expected to have such good alcohol today," The Hero said.

Pain laughed and smacked the Hero on the back.

"Yeah, Onyx is the best brewer in all of Evuluss, maybe even all of the world!"

"Listen to you. I'm not that great!" Onyx said while pretending not to be flattered by his praise.

"It is delicious, but we have better in the dwarf kingdom!" the dwarf yelled after he chugged down the ale.

"If you say so, I guess I'll have to visit the dwarf kingdom and see for myself," Pain said with a shrug.

"You would not be able to enter the dwarf's kingdom," The Hero said suddenly as he banged his stein down on the bar. "You are still a villain that has to be defeated."

"Do you want to keep fighting?" Pain asked as Onyx handed him another drink.

"I must keep fighting until evil has been eradicated from this world," The Hero said as he drank another sip of the ale.

"Well, you saw that Charlotte and I held this mighty holy sword. Doesn't that make us seem less evil?"

"You are human, so that the sword may not have worked so well..."

"But Charlottes the Demon Lord, with horns and wings and whatnot, how do you explain her holding the sword.

The Hero chugged his ale and slapped the empty stein on the table.

"This war has gone on for a hundred years; it cannot be stopped just because the current Demon Lord doesn't seem that evil." The Hero signaled Onyx for another drink. At this point, the elf and the expository wizard had fallen asleep from their first drink. The dwarf was on his third.

"Look, I'll just be straight with you. I don't want to fight in this war. I don't want my friends at the castle to fight in this war. I don't want thousands of strangers dying for this war. You seem like a reasonable guy; can't we work out a ceasefire at the very least?"

"You want to throw away the blood and sacrifice from all those years of war, just like that?"

"Sure," Pain said happily as he moved onto his third drink.

"I can't agree to such a demand!"

"It's not a demand, just a suggestion. If you insist on fighting, I will gladly take you down."

"You don't want a war, but you will gladly fight me?" The Hero sneered.

"I don't want to fight in it, but if it comes to my doorstep, I won't hesitate to protect the people I care about."

"The people you care about are a bunch of monsters and the Demon Lord," The Hero said with a shrug.

"Tell me, why do you bother fighting?"

"To end this war."

"Then we want the same objective; why can't we just agree to end it then?"

"We can't just..."

"The war doesn't need to end with bloodshed, right?"

The hero looked down at his stein. He wasn't sure what to say. He also wanted the war to end.

"Do you think the Demon Lord will agree to your plan?" he said quietly.

"Oh Charlotte, don't worry about her. I'll convince her," Pain said with a thumbs up.

"It seemed like you two didn't exactly see eye to eye."

"Oh, yeah. We can but heads sometimes, but she'll hear me out."

"Really? Because the Holy Princess never listens to anything I have to say," Girolamo said with a sigh.

"Hmm, what's she like?"

"The Holy Princess? Well, lets' see..." The Hero began to think as the dwarf passed out on his fourth stein. "I probably shouldn't say too much," Girolamo decided.

"If you insist, but keep in mind you're in surrounded by monsters' that don't care what you say, and your party that might care has passed out from drinking too much," Pain said with a sip of his drink.

The Hero spun around to see his party members sleeping at the bar.

"You guys! This is enemy territory!" he yelled.

"I can't blame them; I passed out the first time I had this ale too. It is strong stuff," Pain said with a nod.

"Pain, what do we intend to do with them once they are all passed out?" Onyx asked from behind the bar.

"Oh, your right! If they all pass out, that means we will have to carry them!" Pain suddenly realized. "Whatever you do, you cannot pass out, Hero; I don't want to have to carry you all out of here!"

"Couldn't we just kill them, Pain?" Onyx asked.

"I mean, we could, but I want to avoid that. I am trying to go at this from a peace angle."

"Oh, Pain, no matter how many times you've come here, you're always so optimistic," Onyx said with a smile.

"How many times have you come here?" The Hero asked as he turned to look at his drink. He pushed it away from him.

"Oh, I think I've come about once a week since being summoned here?" Pain said, thinking out loud. "It was actually pretty funny at first, no one knew a human was the Dark Commander, so Onyx turned me into a newt."

"Ah! Pain, don't go telling him that!" Onyx cried out. She blushed, and her green cheeks turned a shade of brown.

"A newt?"

"Yeah, it took forever before I got better."

"Okay..." The Hero said without knowing what to say next. Pain sighed.

"So, do you have any stories about the Holy Princess? I'll tell you some stories about the Demon Lord if you want," he tried to persuade the Hero.

The Hero grabbed the drink he pushed away and gulped it down in one go.

"What is there to say? She is a spoiled girl who is only a puppet for the Holy Queen," he spat after finishing his drink.

"I see, I see, you had too much to drink, didn't you?" Pain said while nodding with his arms crossed.

"And what's more, she doesn't care at all about her troops!"

"Hey, now calm down. I was hoping to hear some funny stories, but I guess it should wait until you are sober."

The Hero fell out of his stool onto the floor. He was out cold.

"I guess the ale was too strong for all of them?" Onyx asked as she flew over to the hero and hovered next to him. She poked his face, but he made no reaction.

Pain let his head hang down.

"This means I need to carry them all out of here, doesn't it," he said sadly.

"Well, we can't leave them out cold like this! They are a real eyesore for the business!" Onyx exclaimed.

"No, you're right; I will get them out of here."

The Hero of Bright and his party would wake up in the forest near Peacetown on the other side of the border. The Hero was found snuggling The Holy Sword of Light, which had a written note on it.

When the Hero got to an inn, he unfolded the note and read it:

'You should wake up in the Kingdom of Bright; please refrain from attacking the castle for about three or so months if you could. Also, think about that peace thing in the meantime. I will send a messenger to you for your response in two months. When he comes, make sure you pay the tab you owe for the drinks, I'm not covering you. —Pain Killer, the Dark Commander.' Under the note, there was the bill for the drinks. The Hero threw the letter aside and laid back on the inn's bed. 'Ridiculous,' he thought.

It wasn't until later in the day, when the party had fully recovered, that they realized someone had drawn glasses and mustaches on their faces with ink.