Chapter 6:

A Day in the Town

Waifu Wars


It was finally a good morning to relax. I didn't have school, and I didn't have work. I could just lay in the futon and sleep in today. I stretched and rolled over on my pillow.

"Big brother, do you plan to sleep all day?" I opened my eyes. My sister was holding our small table over my head, ready to put it on the floor. I groaned and rolled off the futon. She kicked it out of the way to put the table down and then rolled up the futon.

"Couldn't you at least let me have five more minutes?" I asked with a yawn.

"Or had pushed the futon off to the side and let us sleep some more," Trash-Chan added with a yawn. She, like me, had planned to sleep in as well. My sister pointed at us.

"Do you two intend to laze around all day! Couldn't you do something productive instead?"

"There's no work or school today to be responsible for."

"And I'm still a little tired from fighting those plane waifus."

"Technically, one was a glider, Trash-Chan."

"Oh yeah, your right Main-Kun. Either way, they were tough."

"They sure were."

We yawned in unison.

"I swear, you two!"

Before I realized, it Trash-Chan and I had been pushed outside our front door. I stumbled as I tried not to fall over. Emiko-Chan, what are you doing?"

She forced a piece of paper into my hand.

"At least go buy some stuff we need today."

I looked at the list.

"What is all this?"

Trash-Chan leaned over and looked as well.

"Oh, Main-Kun, are these those BL books I've heard about?"

My sister let out a cry and snatched the list away. She glanced at it quickly and tucked it into a pocket. Then she handed me a different list on similar-looking paper. This time it was a grocery list.

"Don't get the wrong idea. A friend told me to check them out since they had a good story," she said with a red face.

"Let's just get going, Trash-Chan."

We walked down the stairs and onto the street. I took another look at the list: eggs, milk, some vegetables, some meat, and some pudding. Stuff we might need. Actually, the pudding was not required. My sister probably thought she could trick me to buying it if she put it on a list of other things we would need. I guess I could humor her and buy some anyway.

"So, Main-Kun, where to first?"

"There is a market in town that should sell all the ingredients we need."

We began our walk down the street.

"So, Main-Kun, don't you have anything you want to say to me?" Trash-Chan asked as we walked.

"Hmm, I don't think I do in particular."

"Really? Not anything about the battle against Beaufighter and Hadrian?"

I looked ahead. Is there anything I should say about that battle? She seems to be looking for something.

"Oh, thanks for your help with the battle. We would have been in trouble if you weren't here," I said with a smile.

"No, that's not it! I mean, I appreciate your thanks, but I was waiting for you to say, 'This victory is just the first step' or something like that!"

"Why would I say that? That was just to help Shin-San. I have no intention of entering another War."

"Huh, but- but Main-Kun! What about getting to the top? What about finding out about your father?"

"I don't think I ever expressed any interest in any of those things."

"But- but..." Trash-Chan, for some reason, was surprised by this revelation.

"Look, Trash-Chan-"

"Does that mean you still want to get rid of me? Huh, are you planning to use this opportunity today to sell me on the waifu black market?" she exclaimed.

"There's a waifu black market?" I asked.

"I don't know, but there's a black market for everything else."

"Fair enough, but no. I'm not going to get rid of you."

"Main-Kun." It looked like tears of joy were filling up in Trash-Chan's eyes.

Trash-Chan had put me through a lot of trouble since I met her. Bills were tighter, having to feed another person. She brought unwanted attention to me. She frequently would talk to people I didn't want her to. Trash-Chan kicks as hard as possible in her sleep. There is no sense of personal space with her... I could go one.

However, since I met her, my sister has seemed happier. I'd rekindled a friendship with Osana-Chan. I had learned how much I could count on Shin-San, and I had been able to let him count on me. I was able to fight off people who were wronging me. I couldn't complain about her being around.

Although, I would never admit this to her face.

"I mean, I don't think anyone could handle having you around."

Trash-Chan let her head sink slightly.

"Does that mean you still find my company somewhat unpleasant?" she asked in a low tone.

Did I go too far? She seemed somewhat sad from my comment. We walked in silence for a moment until we reached our destination.

In our town, we had several streets with markets on them throughout. This particular location was the closest to our apartment, so my sister and I went here a lot. We had been shopping here so long that multiple business owners recognized us.

The market housed many businesses in it. Some people sold groceries, of course. There was also a shoe store, a store that specialized in stationary, an arcade, and several other places.

As we walked through the market, Trash-Chan went from looking forlorn to curious. She started looking excitedly at everything that we passed. The way she acted sometimes made her seem like she had lived in a cave her whole life.

"Main-Kun, look at that! They have some kind of fish-shaped pastry." She pointed at the Amari's sweets shop.

"Yes, they're selling Taiyaki today, by the looks of it. Do you want some?"

"Can I have some?" Trash-Chan looked at me with sparkling eyes.

"Sure."

We walked up to the counter of the store. The Amari's daughter, Sakura Amari, was tending to the shop this morning. She went to school with my sister, so we knew her reasonably well.

"Good morning, Juyo-San; Emiko-Chan isn't with you today?"

"That's right, One Taiyaki, please."

"Sure thing."

She handed me the Taiyaki, and I passed it to Trash-Chan. I paid while Trash-Chan took a bite.

"Oh, my! Main-Kun, this is good!"

"So, you must be the famous Trash-Chan?" Sakura-Chan asked.

"Has my sister mentioned her in class?"

"Mentioned her? Emiko-Chan was practically in tears when she told us you brought a waifu home."

"It's really not that big of a deal..."

"That's where you're wrong. We were starting to make bets on whether you would stop being so stubborn about getting a waifu."

"Bets?"

"Yes. I'll have you know that you lost me a bit of money."

"I'm... sorry to hear that?" How should I react to being told that?

Trash-Chan finished her taiyaki, and we left the shop and began walking down the streets. We started by getting the vegetables that we needed. The shop owners were, of course, surprised to see me with Trash-Chan. With that done, it was time to pick up the meat, then it would be the milk and eggs, and we would stop back at the Amari's for the pudding.

"Taikutsu-Kun?" A voice came from behind us as we walked to our next location. I jumped, and my shoulders tensed up. I was not happy to hear this voice. I turned around with the best forced a smile I could make.

"Hello, Mom," I said. My mother was standing behind me. She was wearing an expensive fur coat, and her hair had been recently permed. She wore gobs of makeup on her face. A waifu I did not know accompanied her. It was some maid that could likely be from anywhere. She had blonde hair with a heart pin in it.

The waifu looked back and forth between us with a confused expression. Trash-Chan did the same.

"Oh, Tai-Kun, look how grown-up you've gotten. I almost didn't recognize you." She walked up to me and hugged me. "How have you been?" she asked. It had been about two years since I last saw her. Last time, it was a similar situation from just running into her on the streets. She hadn't changed much.

"Oh, pretty much the same," I answered.

"I see, and who is this with you? Is that a waifu?" she spoke in a friendly tone.

"Oh, this is Trash-Chan."

"Yes, Nice to meet you, Mother-Sama. I'm Trash-Chan, the trash-tier waifu," Trash-Chan introduced herself. My mother began to laugh.

"Oh, dear, please excuse me. I never met such a worthless sounding waifu."

"Huh?" Trash-Chan wasn't sure what to say.

"I mean, I never expected much from Taikutsu-Kun, but this is something."

"Mother-Sama, should you be talking about your son like that?" Trash-Chan said in a friendly tone, but her face suggested that she was annoyed. I put my hand on her shoulder. When Trash-Chan looked back, I shook my head to indicate that she should not bother trying to argue. My mother kept laughing.

"This is just how she is; you just have to roll with it when talking to her," I whispered to Trash-Chan.

"But!" Trash-Chan was about to say something, but I shook my head again to tell her to stop. I hardly saw my mother so that I could bear with her every now and then. My mother finally stopped laughing.

"Anyway, it's a good thing I ran into you. I wanted to discuss something with you about your sister."

"My sister?"

"Yes, he and I have been thinking. It's not good for a girl her age to live as she does. After all, she's about to enter high school. I would like to have her come live with me."

"What! You can't take Sister-Sama!" Trash-Chan yelled.

"I'm her mother; I think I know what's best for her. Tai-Kun, since your deadbeat father walked out on you, hasn't it been hard to take care of her? You must be tired as well. Why don't you talk to her for me?"

"Main-Kun, don't listen to this woman!" Trash-Chan yelled.

"It's strange, mother," I said.

"What's strange?"

"If you were so concerned for my sister, your daughter, why now? We saw each other two years ago just like this after all."

"Oh, Tai-Kun, we had hardly any time to talk then."

She knew where we lived. If she was so concerned about my sister, she could have stopped by any time to take her.

"What about Main-Kun? Why don't you want to take him too!" Trash-Chan interjected.

"Oh, that Tai-Kun wants to live alone," my mother answered.

"Mother, she's not going to go with you. I'll humor you and ask her, but I already know her answer will be no."

My mother's fake smile twisted slightly.

"Now, Taikutsu-Kun, why don't you have her come over for a little while. We can show her around our home-"

"I don't want her going anywhere near that guy," I didn't let my mother finish. I had met the guy that convinced my mother to leave before. He was some smug, rich guy with a ton of waifus and husbandos at his service. He first approached our family as an investor for the Waifu Wars. My father said we shouldn't trust him, but he produced results in the wars. We kept him around until one day, my mother and our waifu just left. There was an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach that told me I should keep my sister away from that guy.

"I see you are too stupid to discuss matters like this, Taikutsu-Kun," she muttered. "Why don't we handle this a different way?"

"What way is that?" I asked.

"We will have a Waifu War, here and now," she said.

"Yeah, I'll crush that smug waifu you have!" Trash-Chan yelled while punching one hand into her flat palm.

"Oh, such an uncivilized waifu you have there. We will be doing the War there."

My mother pointed to the nearby game store. It was a decent size shop that focused on board games and card games. Trash-Chan seemed gung-ho about the War. I put my hand on her shoulder.

"Trash-Chan, we don't have to accept. In fact, what reason do we gain from this? Why would we fight to decide where my sister will live when we can just let her decide for herself?"

"Oh, your right Main-Kun. There is no need for this fight."

"Such foolish children. How about this then, we will take my daughter by force unless you beat us in this War!" my mother declared.

"Main-Kun will never agree to that!"

"Fine, I agree," I said calmly. Both my mother and Trash-Chan looked at me with surprise. I at least could use this as a way to buy time. At this rate, my mother probably intended to take my sister no matter what.

"I... I see you can be reasoned with Tai-Kun," My mother said after clearing her throat. "Well, let's go. I'll explain the rules of this War.

"First, I need to make a phone call," I said.

"Now, Taikutsu-Kun, do you think I would let you call my daughter at a time like this," My mother said while waving her finger. "Do you think you can have her run and hide?"

"I just want to let her know that we would be a little late. I can text her if you like. I'll let you read it before I send."

My mother thought for a minute before nodding in agreement.

So, I typed up the text I would send my sister and showed it to my mother.

'Crowds at the market are crazy today. Is it a full moon or something? We will be home a little later than anticipated. Also, I am sorry to say... the Amari shop might be sold out of pudding by the time we get there.'

My mother nodded in agreement, and I sent the text off. My sister replied within minutes.

'Okay, go ahead and take your time.'

I let my shoulders relax as we walked into the game store. There were a few people playing games in the corner, but the rest of the store was empty. Their busy hours wouldn't be until later in the day.

"I will now explain the rules of this war," my mother began, "We will be doing a waifu v waifu match in Magioh: The Assembly. This will be one round match with two custom decks built by the waifus prior. The match will be a sanctioned Waifu War and will actively affect their tiers. The waifus will play alone, and we cannot support them. A 3rd party judge will monitor the match to make sure no cheating will occur. Any questions?"

"No," I answered.

This match was an odd pick by my mother. It must mean that the maid with her had some skill in the area. I had assumed this waifu was a maid naturally, but perhaps she was from something else and was only dressed as a maid. It was a common strategy to make people think a waifu had a different identity before starting a war. The maid immediately went to the counter and started spitting off a list of cards for her deck. Trash-Chan also went to the counter and began admiring the cards.

It was odd. We were in an area with a store that provided what this waifu excelled at. My mother just happened to meet us with this waifu when my sister was home alone. This was perfect timing. I looked at my mother, who was typing something on her phone. She looked my way and smiled before putting her phone back.

I don't think there was a way for us to win. The guys at the counter were just now explaining the rules to Trash-Chan. I would have to hope she could do the best she could. She hadn't let me down in a War yet, and she knew the stakes.

It took about an hour for Trash-Chan to learn the rules and build her deck. She had to come back to me a couple of times to check on the cards' prices. The original deck was far too expensive, and we had to make a couple of iterations. The other waifu was sitting at the table with her deck built, triple sleeved, and shuffled. Meanwhile, Trash-Chan sat down with her cheap unsleeved deck. I think I saw the maid cringe at the sight of it.

"Don't you want to sleeve your cards?" she asked while Trash-Chan began to do a ripple shuffle on them.

"Oh, that's okay. Their easier to shuffle this way," she did another ripple shuffle as the maid seemed to shake in place.

"Let's just get this over with," the maid said with a defeated expression as she began to draw her hand.

Magioh is a two-player card game where players would call for vassals to destroy the opponent's fortress. The game had two components in how it's played. The first was to play the vassal cards, which would be the fighters and the defenders. These cards had types such as animal, beast, soul, mortal, brute, etc., and featured colorful art for each of the types. The second aspect of the game was for a player to build up their fortress. Each player started with a fortress that could get taken out in two turns. That, at least, is what I picked up from the explanation given to me. I had just learned the rules of the game as well.

I was forced to stand back against the wall watching the game on a tv screen. My mother sat in a chair next to me. We could see the game on the other side of the room, but we were not allowed to interfere with it per the War rules. A store judge walked onto the screen, standing next to the table.

"Okay, I'll do a coin toss to determine who goes first," I heard him say over the television speakers. He flipped the coin, and the maid got to go first.

"I play a Tundra and use it to play a Pot of Orange, which allows me to draw two cards from the top of my deck." The maid began.

"I'm sorry to tell you this, but you have already lost this match," my mother said confidently.

"How so?" I asked.

"She has never lost a game where she gets this play."

Trash-Chan drew her first card.

"I'll play a Trash Heap and use it to call for a Junk Soldier in the defending zone." Trash-Chan called for a simple vassal with 1 Fortress Damage, 1 Vassal Damage, and 1 Life with no abilities. On the table, a holographic form of the vassal appeared over the card. The maid chuckled as she drew for her turn.

"Did you make your deck trash themed!" I exclaimed loud enough for the whole store to hear. She had come to me with prices but hadn't told me what kind of deck she had built. The other players in the store and the store employees decided to stop their game and walked over to the table to watch the waifus.

"I play a Death Valley and use it and the Tundra to play Laying Bricks, which will increase my fortress defense by two. The maid didn't lay a vassal card but moved her fortress defense from the staring total of 4 to 6.

Trash-Chan played another Trash Heap and called for two more Junk Soldiers in the defending zone. The maid and my mother seemed to chuckle as the maid drew for her next turn.

"You probably don't realize this, Tai-Kun, but trash themed cards are considered the weakest in the game. The only reason anyone ever plays them is if they don't care about losing, or they want to troll. Either way, there is no way you can win this match," my mother proudly declared.

The maid called for a Pigeon vassal in the invader zone. A yellow butterfly-like creature appeared over the card.

Trash-Chan played a Landfill and called for a Recycle Officer in the defending zone, which could return one vassal from the field to the hand. She returned a Junk Soldier to her hand and called for it again in the invader zone.

The maid attacked with the Pigeon and Trash-Chan blocked with a Junk Soldier. Both vassals were discarded. The maid called for a Tired Manga Artist in the defending zone and the invader zone.

Trash-Chan called for a Garbage Monster in the invader zone, a vassal which increased it's Fortress Damage for every card discarded in a turn and could not be blocked by a non-Trash vassal. Right now, it had 0 Fortress Damage and 0 Vassal Damage, and 1 Life.

"You're going to lose this match, you know, trash cards have no way to boost a fortress defense. Without that, there will be no way for you to win," the maid said. She played another Tundra and then called for a Season's Greeting in the invader position. A blonde chibi girl in a Santa costume appeared above the card. "This card can attack immediately and will return to the battlefield every time it is destroyed with a duplicate. With that, I attack your fortress."

Trash-Chan let the attack through, knocking her fortress to 3. She drew a card for her turn. Trash-Chan played a Recycle Bin, which would allow her to return a low-cost vassal to her hand if it left the battlefield, and another Recycle Officer and returned the first Recycle Officer to her hand. She attacked with her Junk Soldier.

"Ha, what a pathetic attempt," the maid scoffed. "You know what, I'll let it through anyway just because I'm nice. I can end this game whenever I want now."

The maid's fortress went from 6 to 5. Trash-Chan played a Garbage Truck, which would let her play a low-cost vassal for free if there was already a copy in play. She ended her turn.

The maid played another Pot of Orange, which allowed her to draw two cards from the of top her deck, and played a Useless Goddess. A blue-haired crying goddess appeared over the card. She sacrificed the Useless Goddess to draw more cards.

"She's getting ready to end this," my mother said, "I hope there will be no hard feelings."

"I could say the same to you for when Trash-Chan wins this," I said confidently. It was a blatant lie; I did not see Trash-Chan's path to winning in this.

The maid attacked with the Season's Greeting, and Trash-Chan let it through. Her fortress was now at 2. The maid ended the turn by playing another card to boost her fortress's health to 7.

Trash-Chan drew another card and began to flip the cards around in her hand, making snapping sounds with each flip. The maid shuddered for a moment before Trash-Chan played a Trash Sorter, a vassal which let her draw one additional card than her last draw. It would start over with each turn. She finished by playing another Recycle Officer and began to chuckle as she returned a Junk Soldier to her hand.

"Is something funny?" the maid asked.

"I have to thank you for not taking me seriously. You let me win this." Trash-Chan ended her turn with that.

The maid made a confused face before shaking her head and drawing another card. She shrugged.

"I guess I will go ahead and end this. I play Deadline; with it, I sacrifice my Manga Artist, and the game will conclude at the end of my next turn. So that you know, the person with the higher fortress health will be the victor. You may go ahead; I do not need to attack you this turn."

Trash-Chan smiled as she drew a card, then she played two Necromancer's Trader's, A vassal which destroyed another vassal on entry and allowed a card to be removed.

"That's not a trash themed card?" We all seemed to yell at once. My mother, the maid, myself, the spectators, the other employees, and even the judge all exclaimed together. Trash-Chan had a smug look as she spoke.

"Haha, that's what you get for thinking I would only go with trash themed cards. I'm here to win for Sister-Sama, not to goof off with a silly deck. Plus... there wasn't a trash themed card with the ability I needed."

"Well, even still, I don't see what good it will do you. You only have this turn to win," the maid said after collecting herself.

"A turn is all I need. I sacrifice the Recycle Officer with my Necromancer's Trader, but Recycle-Bin will return it to my hand since it is low-cost. Then, since it is my second draw this turn, I use Trash Sorter to draw two cards. I sacrifice a Junk Soldier with my second Necromancer's Trader and draw three cards. Since two cards were sent to the discard pile, Garbage Monster gets two Fortress Damage. Now, I play Recycle Officer for free with Garbage Truck, I put Necromancer's Trader back in my hand and play it for free with Garbage Truck, then I discard Recycle Officer..."

The maid banged her fists on the table.

"A combo!" she shouted.

"Yes indeed, and one I shouldn't have been able to set up if you were playing seriously," Trash-Chan said in a haughty manner as she cycled the cards around the field for the combo. The Garbage Monster slowly gained more and more fortress attack power. All she had to do was get it up to the maid's fortress's health, and it would be able to attack unblocked. "Let's see... I need to do this three more times, then I sacrifice the second Necromancer's Trader to end the combo." Trash-Chan drew her remaining cards as the deck whittled down. The maid was nervously looking at the field, as she did not have anything she could do. Trash-Chan smiled as she went to draw her last card. Her hand hit the table. She looked down; she had drawn her whole deck into her hand.

"Trash-Chan has lost this match," the judge declared.

Everyone stood in silence for a moment. My mother began to laugh and walked over to the maid, who was frozen in confusion. She put her hand on the maid's shoulder.

"Good job, beating that little waifu."

"Huh, yeah... Yeah, it was foolish of you to think you could win."

The entire large hand of cards fell out of Trash-Chan's hand as she let her grip loosen. They tumbled across the table and the floor. I walked over to Trash-Chan as my mother pulled out her phone.

"Go ahead and grab her for me," my mother said into the phone.

"Main-Kun... I didn't mean to lose... I didn't," Trash-Chan said with tears in her eyes.

"What! What do you mean she's not there?" my mother suddenly exclaimed. She turned to glare at me. I smiled at her. "What did you do?" my mother demanded.

"Nothing. Did you see me notify my sister in any way? You approved the text I sent her after all."

"Where is she?" my mother practically yelled. Trash-Chan and the maid were looking back and forth between us.

"Who can say," I said with a nonchalant shrug. My mother grabbed the maid by her arm and began to pull her out.

"We will find her!" she yelled before kicking the door open and dragging the maid out with her.

"Main-Kun? Where is Sister-Sama?" Trash-Chan asked me while wiping some tears from her eyes.

"This market is never busy enough to delay us for a long time. So, my text would have been weird. We arranged in the past that if I ever texted her something weird, to go to the Naka's house and wait for me there," I told Trash-Chan.

"Wha- why?"

"I was more worried about debt collectors or something like that showing up, but I wanted to arrange a way to notify her should I need her to get out of the apartment. I didn't trust my mother to stick with her word, so I got her out before we even started."

"So, she's at the Naka's? Do you have other coded ways to contact her?"

"Yes, she is, and yes, we do. Let's get some pudding and head there."

With that, Trash-Chan and I left the game store. We stopped and got our pudding and went on our way to the Naka's house.