[Aika Crisis] Day 4: My Ex-Girlfriends Declared a Boob War

And so began another day in the wonderful home of Yoko Akiyama! This time, Aika was given official permission from Yoko herself to live with the rest of them. It was the weekend now, and on that Saturday morning, Yoko lined everyone up in the kitchen like they were a squad of able-bodied soldiers. Isabella tied her hair in a double sided ponytail and wore her usual tank-top and underwear.

Aika wore a pair of black pajama pants with lightning bolt patterns on them, as well as a white tank top. She tied her hair in a messy, yet equally adorable bun full of stray, curly hairs slipping against her cheeks. Izanami didn't quite have the same sense of fashion and wore her traditional kimono around the house. 

Osamu just wore his thermal and sweatpants, staying faithful to his ‘dopey schmuck’ routine. Instead of a sword, something that was quite common for her to wield, this morning, Yoko held a mop.

Yoko stepped forth like a drill sergeant before her cowardly bands of privates and conscripts. "All right. Since we're all officially living here together, we'll all need to take responsibility for the house. Isabella, you're horrendously ugly and I hate your guts, but you clean like a housewife. For that, I commend you."

"I'll accept that. I'm too tired to be angry right now." Isabella replied with a groggy tone.

Yoko turned to the pale goddess. ”Izanami, normally I'd be very reluctant on letting a Shinto deity and god of death stay in my home, but you're very responsible and independent, as expected. When I saw you cooking, cleaning, and peacekeeping around the house, my worries were dispelled. Even though I'll stab your heart if you ever try to take Osamu away from me, I want you to know that you are very welcome and appreciated here."

Izanami bowed graciously. "I thank you very much."

(She's too kind for her own good.)

Yoko then stood in front of Osamu with stars in her eyes and a rosy blush in her cheeks. "Osamu.”

"Yes ma’am!" he sharply hollered.

"You could be the dirtiest, laziest, nihilistic, alcoholic, abusive husband who screams at me in front of the kids every New Years, and I'd still love you and accept you. My house, food, bed, and body are yours for all eternity."

"Don't say that in front of the other girls!” Osamu laughed.

Aika interrupted Yoko's trance of lust and affection with her, from Yoko's perspective, annoyingly flat and irritating voice. "What about me?"

Yoko stared at Aika for a few seconds, as if she were gazing into the cosmos.

"Umm...hello?" Aika asked, unsettled by Yoko’s unflinching gaze.

"As I've said, you're welcome here too. Just uphold your responsibilities and you can live here rent-free.” Yoko responded.

Aika nodded. ”Good enough for me, I guess."

“Ahem!" Yoko shouted to clear her throat. "Now then, let's get cleaning. Isabella, you handle the kitchen counters and the dishes. Izanami, mop the floors. Aika, make sure the bathrooms are spotless. Osamu, you can lay down and relax."

All the other girls looked over at Osamu with eyes of stinging, soul-crushing resentment.

"No way, I want to help too!” Osamu declared.

"Oh gosh, you're so responsible!” Yoko squirmed. “Okay! Get to work, everyone. Osamu, come upstairs with me so we can tidy the room."

Everyone got to work taking care of the house they were all living in. As instructed, Osamu walked in the master bedroom with Yoko. As soon as they entered, Yoko shut the door behind them.

Perplexed, Osamu saw that the room was already clean. “Hey, Yoko, maybe we should...uhh..."

Yoko was standing by the door, her legs squirming and her face pink. "Osamu...I kind of have a problem..."

"W-what is it?"

Yoko held her hands to her heart and closed her eyes, speaking quietly so nobody could overhear. "I threw out all my old underwear and replaced them with new pairs, but I forgot to wash them before putting them on and they feel really itchy!"

(Are these the woes of being a woman?)

"So what? Just put another pair on.” Osamu groaned.

"Idiot! Those pairs will most likely be itchy too! They were all made in the same place by the same manufacturer!"

"Well, what the hell do you want me to do?"

Yoko leaned in closer. ”Let me borrow a pair of your underwear, just for today!"

(Ah, what the hell...)

“Here." he said as he picked out another pair from the drawer and handed them to Yoko.

"Thank you! You're a lifesaver. You have no idea how badly I wanted to scratch myself back there, but I'm certain I would've looked like I was masturbating. I wasn't able to handle the potential embarrassment of that situation, so this really helps, Osa."

"Yeah, no pro-"

Osamu turned his head and saw Yoko taking off her pair of panties right then and there with only her nightgown covering her voluptuous body and alluring skin. As crazy as she was, there was nothing about Yoko's physical appearance that could've ever even been misconstrued as repulsive. Like a beautiful, poisonous apple, she always tested Osamu's resolve.

"Yoko! Maybe you should change in the bathroom!” Osamu demanded, thinly cloaking it as a suggestion.

Yoko looked genuinely perplexed by Osamu's frustration. "What? Married couples change in front of each other all the time. I don't mind if you see me naked or anything. Besides, the first time we had sex wasn't far off from when you left town. You've already seen me naked.”

"I know, but there's only so much temptation a man can take!” 

"Temptation, huh?" Yoko devilishly pondered.

Yoko pushed Osamu onto the bed and pinned him down. Her face was just mere centimeters away from his, and her fierce, blue eyes stared daggers into his.

"You're a temptation to me everyday, Osamu."

"Come on, that's not fair, Yoko!”

“The second character in the word ‘Temptation’. Do you remember it?” Yoko whispered, her warm, strawberry-scented breath perfuming Osamu’s face.

“Another kanji lesson, at this time of day?”

“It’s written with the ‘mouth’ radical to the left, and the ‘spear’ radical to the right. The ‘heart’ radical sits beneath the two. Temptation, after all, is the beguilement of the heart. It’s an appeal to one’s desires. It’s why I’ve always liked how the second character includes the ‘spear’ radical. After temptation comes pain. Simply living by the impulse of one’s heart only ends in misery.”

Osamu spoke softly through his nervous suspirations. “Is there a moral to this lesson?”

“Not a moral. I’d call my point a punchline. Every woman in this house shares the same temptation. Because of that, we all share the same misery. You should dwell on that a bit more and relax. Despite everything that’s happened, we’re all still here for you.”

Yoko pulled herself off of Osamu, the sun shining brightly on her flirtatious face and smooth, pale back. "Oh well."

Yoko continued changing in front of Osamu, but he didn't seem to mind at this point. There was something else on his mind.

(I wonder what she saw...when she kissed Aika yesterday. It was something so urgent that she completely flipped the switch on her usual behavior and accepted her here.)

"Yoko..."

"Yes, love?" she asked as she tied her hair into a pony tail.

"What exactly did you learn when you kissed Aika?"

Yoko stopped tying her hair, letting it fall back down over her back and shoulders. She stared blankly at Osamu and then continued to assemble her pony tail.

"Listen, Osamu. It's best not to pry. It's a very personal matter for Aika, a very sensitive one."

"But it concerns me too. I want to know what-"

“Enough."

A very uncomfortable silence fell upon them. Yoko sighed, calming herself down before breaking away the quietude.

"As I said, you should never pry into a woman's problems. Let Aika be, okay? I'm gonna go help out in the kitchen. You can rest if you want."

Yoko left Osamu by himself, with only his inconclusive thoughts to keep him company. He sat on the bed wondering what Yoko was hiding, and if it was wise to ask Aika directly.

(Does it have something to do with who she loves? If it's me, she wouldn't invite her into the home like that. And as far as I know, Aika isn't interested in women either, so...just what is it? I'll probably just drive myself crazy trying to wrap my head around it.)

Osamu closed his eyes and let his mind drift away, his thoughts undisturbed by the faint commotion from the kitchen downstairs. He thought about the night he heard Aika playing guitar under the bridge.

(Now that I think about it, we met the same way too. After my ordeal with Yoko, I often spent my time walking around at night, and I just so happened to walk by that bridge and heard her playing. Back then, she snuck out at night just because she liked being a rebellious spirit. I still remember the blush in her face when I told her how awesome it was that her name meant Love Song and she just so happened to love music. If there's ever such a thing as love as first sight, I think that night would be it.

(We spent a lot of time together back then, until...she suddenly stopped showing up under the bridge. Four weeks or so later, she appeared there again just to tell me she wouldn't be able to show up anymore, but she still wanted to continue the relationship. I was young, stupid, and childishly possessive, and got mad at her for it.

(Then we just sort of...went our separate ways. Now, I know that she didn't show up because her mother was sick. But, like she does now, she hid away the source of her pain, and I was left in the dark regarding the reason for her strange behavior. If only I'd been more patient and understanding back then...)

When the sweetness of nostalgia went bitter, Osamu stood up from the bed and combed through his messy, raven hair with his slender fingers. It was nice to forget life’s cruel tricks, even for just a few minutes. Though, Osamu often found that no matter how often he remembered such sweet moments, bad memories followed closely, shattering the beautiful, nostalgic mirage. 

(Well, not like I can go back in time and fix all of this, right? No use sulking about it now.)

Osamu opened the door and immediately bumped into Aika, who almost dropped both the candles she was holding.

"Crap, I'm sorry, I didn't know you were out here!” Osamu panicked.

"What if I had gotten hot wax all over me, you clumsy schmuck!” cursed Aika.

"Uhh...what are you doing with those candles anyway?"

"I just finished cleaning all the bathrooms, so I wanted to put candles in each of them so that they smelled extra nice.” Aika explained.

"Wow, as always, you commit your heart and soul to everything you do!” cheered Osamu.

"Would you relax? It's just candles. You're acting like I'm marrying Yoko or something. I just don't want her hounding my ass after she let me stay here. Which reminds me— why aren't you paying or helping out?” Aika asked, before the realization dawned on her. “Oh no...you're screwing her, aren't you?"

(I forgot, she can ask very bold questions sometimes...)

"Oh come on, I'm not that type of guy." he said, almost as if he was trying to convince himself more than anyone else.

"Sure, sure. But I do know that Yoko is honestly quite gorgeous, and you're not a very difficult man to charm."

(Have more faith in me!)

"That may be true but I have self control.” Osamu declared, a demonstrably false thing of him to say.

Aika smirked. ”Except when apples are involved, huh?"

Having lost the argument, Osamu put up his white flag. "Whatever! I'm going downstairs.”

"What an idiot.” Aika muttered as he marched down the steps in a huff.

Osamu ventured into the kitchen and saw that the floors had been mopped, the counters were wiped, and the sink was free of dishes. The entire kitchen was spotless, to the point of sparkling like a polished jewel. Izanami sat down at the central kitchen counter with Yoko and Isabella after a job well-done.

"Wow, you guys really went at it.” Osamu praised.

"A clean house is a peaceful house!” cheered Izzy.

"And I'm a goddess, so hatred of filth is practically hardwired into my psyche.” Izanami snickered.

Even Yoko had to give credit where credit was due. "You both did well." 

Isabella fanned herself with her hand as she nudged Yoko's shoulder. "Hey, Yoko. I don't mean to be a nag or anything, but shouldn't we make plans to do something fun? It is summer, after all."

"Hmm? Fun? Like what?" Yoko curiously asked.

"Like getting ice cream, going shopping, hiking, or going to the beach!” Isabella suggested.
Yoko pinched the bridge of her nose. ”And just who do you expect to pay for all-"

Yoko's mind immediately flashed towards Aika, and she quickly took back her point. "Actually, that would be a great idea."

"Were you worried about who would pay? Don't worry!” Isabella assured. Instead of spending my money to terrorize you and Osamu with the shock and awe of modern day, military might, I'll put some to the side and dedicate it to having fun!"

Izanami applauded at the mere idea of summer activities. "That sounds like quite the fun idea!"

(It's gotten quite peaceful here. Though, I think it's due to Yoko holding back ever since she let Aika stay.)

"Well? What do you think, Osamu? Any of that sound fun to you?” Yoko asked.

"Well, sure. Why not?"

"Very well then. We'll start making plans. I'll go get some paper so we can make a list.” Yoko said.

Izanami formed a cone around her mouth with her hands and shouted. "Hey Aika, come down here!"

"Coming!"

Aika curiously galloped downstairs and Yoko returned with lined paper and a pencil at the same time. "What's going on?"

"Sit down, we're having an intervention for your addiction to painkillers.” Yoko joked with no indication as such in her tone.

Aika’s head recoiled slightly. "What?!"

"What she means is, we're making of list of fun things to do during the summer." Osamu clarified, working as Yoko's professional translator.

"Going to the beach is a given." Yoko said as she ran her fingers around the curves of her breasts. "I want to be able to undress in front of Osamu and show him that the fruits of my body are sweeter than any of yours."

Isabella slammed her hands on the table. "You what? My body is twice as bangin' as yours! You may have the ass, but you lack the sass!"

"You may have the boobs, Isabella, but you lack the moves." Aika chimed in.

"And you may have the hips but you lack the quips!” followed Izanami.

(Are we making a list or writing a song?)

Yoko sighed and crossed her arms. "Fine then. I guess it's declared."

"What's declared, Yoko?” Izzy asked with a curious, yet wary tone.

"Oh, you know.” Yoko snickered.

Yoko had the most power-hungry expression on her face, as fierce as the raging ocean.
"Boob Wars.”

Isabella gasped in horror as Aika covered her mouth and blushed. 

"What's Boob Wars?" Izanami asked, far too innocent to even understand such a concept.

Osamu helped her out a bit. "I'm assuming they're going to compare breast sizes."

"Why?" she asked, like a curious child.

(I forgot. Izanami doesn't have much of a sense of sexuality, does she?)

Osamu chuckled. ”At least you're too innocent to be involved in their misc—"

"I wanna participate too!" Izanami declared, playfully slamming her hands down upon the counter.

(You've gotta be kidding me! They even got my sweet, innocent Izanami?!)

With all the girls participating, Yoko went ahead and did the honors. "All right, ladies. Shirts up."
Osamu covered his eyes as the girls lifted up their shirts and revealed their mammaries to each other. He could not be bothered with the utter pettiness of this competition.

"Hmm..." Izzy softly mumbled, her eyes darting across the different pairs of breasts before her.

Yoko's cheeks turned a slight pink as her eyes caught a glimpse of Izanami's rather petite chest. "Izanami is definitely the smallest."

"Really?!" Izanami exclaimed in disbelief.

"Yep, by far. They're cute though!” said Isabella with friendly reassurance.

"I agree, they're quite cute and nicely shaped despite their lack of size. I would be proud of them." Yoko complimented.

"Ah! Thank you!"

(I kinda wonder what a dead girl's boobs would look like...)

Isabella turned her attention to Aika's nice, but certainly not terribly impressive chest. "Mines are definitely bigger than Aika's too."

"N-no way!” Aika protested.

"Yeah, they are, you just have larger areolae." Yoko concluded.

Izanami and Aika put down their shirts. The final battle was between Yoko and Isabella.

"No good, they need to be right next to each other!" Izzy declared.

The Boob War finalists pressed their breasts together, side by side for the other girls to judge, making the comparison easier.

After a good, hard look, Izanami passed down her judgement. "Isabella is bigger."

"Yep, she's bigger." Aika agreed.

"Are you blind?! There's no way she's bigger!” Yoko furiously protested.

"I totally am though. Look. Our boobs start and seem to end at the same point if we measure them on an Y axis, but mines reach further out on an X axis and take up more space in the quadrants.” Izzy explained.

Upon closer inspection, Yoko saw that she was actually correct. "I...I can't believe it…" 

"Yay! I won!” Izzy cheered.

Aika and Izanami clapped for Isabella as she put down her shirt. Yoko kept her breasts exposed and rushed over to Osamu, grabbing his hand and placing it on her chest.

"Osamu, are my boobs really smaller?!"

“Uhhh…I’m a guy, Yoko. I’m not part of this-”

"Don't ‘uhhh' me! There's no way her boobs are bigger right?!” Yoko asked further.

"They are though, they really are!” Osamu admitted.

Yoko let go of Osamu, covering both her eyes with her hands and slouching against the fridge in shame as Isabella continued to cheer and giggle in delight.

"Thanks Osamu!” Isabella sang. “Just for that, I'll let you touch them later!"

"Do it and I'll tie you to an anchor and throw you into the ocean!" Yoko threatened.

"Don't be a poor sport just because you lost. Izanami is the smallest of us all and look how well she took it.” Izzy said as she pointed to the content Izanami.

Yoko put down her shirt, and Osamu was able to open his eyes again. “Fine. Everyone, get dressed! First thing on our list is heading to the beach! We'll have a Swimsuit Battle next!"

Isabella cheered with eager anticipation. "Oh yeah, baby! It's on now!"

"My skin could really use some sun, so why not." Aika reasoned.

"Count me in too!" cheered Izanami.

After the unholy, but admittedly arousing competition that took place before him, Osamu decided to throw in the towel. "I think I'll stay home, you guys can go without m-"

Isabella pulled out her gun, Yoko, whipped out her sword, and Aika uncoiled a guitar string, ready to be used as a choking wire. Not wanting to wield a weapon in the house, Izanami just gave him a really sour look.

"You're coming with us, whether you like it or not.” growled Yoko.

"You're going to look at and judge our swimsuits." Izzy threatened.

"Or you'll die and be fed to wolves.” Aika said with a flat and menacing tone.

Izanami just didn't have it in her to be so threatening. Her days of being called Izanami the Cruel were long over. "I...uh...you'll be a real stinky face if you don't come and enjoy the time with us!"

(I guess that's the best she can muster...)

Seeing as he hadn’t written a will or made all of his amends yet, Osamu saw no reason to die over such a silly issue. “All right, fine. We'll go to the beach."

Everyone cheered once more, and the date was set. The family of little lunatics was now dead set for the beach of singing sands and sparkling water! For now, Osamu drove his worries away on an exodus to the back of his mind. Nonetheless, that tiny voice in his head could only whisper one name. Aika Mihara.

End of Day 4