The Fireside in a Snowstorm

The warm fire flickers before me as I slowly ease myself from the darkness of my dreams. Heat radiates from the fireplace, washing over my body, but it’s the more gentle, comforting warmth that steals my attention.

I’m lying on Fate’s lap, her hand resting on my shoulder as she stares into the flames.

The storms wrath still beats down on this little building, howling and raging like the most vicious of wolves. It forever starves, it devours all warmth but no matter how much it consumes it still hungers. The walls and the fires can keep it at bay, but nothing can ever defeat it.

It’s been a long time since I’ve last hidden away from this beast. The familiar chill of it somehow more freezing than the deserts cold nights, drawing back memories of a time lost to me.

A lonely castle, an angry King and an absent queen. A loving older sister.

Raging fires burned through that blizzard, chasing us from our home. It was the cold that protected us back then, the hungering wolf blinding the rioters and numbing the burns.

I release a breath I didn’t know I was holding.

Just another memory that will be gone when the world ends. More pointless deaths and meaningless struggles, momentary passions that satisfied a few and terrified more.

When this is all over, even the stone foundation of that castle will be buried and gone. Forgotten by all the gods that we’ve dreamed up.

“Are you awake?” Fate asks, her face leaning down over mine. She hovers close enough that I feel her warm breath wash over me, sweet from flowery tea. It seems the wolf isn’t the only one hungering.

I stare past her and towards the fireplace, and she sits up brushing at my hair. She shifts her legs around under my head, I don’t know how long we’ve been like this but it couldn’t be comfortable for so long, but when I try to move, she holds me still.

“It’s fine. Just moving my legs around to get some blood flow back.” She says, and I settle back down.

I’m still not sure what to think of her. Of us. Of everything.

In the night, when the light is gone, her touch is too tempting to ignore. A comfort and a pleasure that… I’ve never really known before.

I’ve been alone for so long now, and her warm touch in this icy blizzard isn’t something that I can refuse, even though I know I should. I belong out there in the cold, trudging through the snow, and fighting off the frost. Freezing to death, looking only to see my one last task done.

Instead, I’m here. I wish it didn’t feel so sweet.

I can only close my eyes and pretend that this fireplace entombed inside of a snowstorm is apart from the real world.

Time is lost to us here. The sun, if it’s even risen, is hidden by dark clouds and thick snow still falling, it’s passage as distant to us as Sanguine is from Cerulean. We count not in hours or minutes, but instead in blocks of firewood disappearing from the stack. A pile large enough to count us down all the way to summer if need be.

“I need a moment to tend to some private things.” Fate says, shuffling her legs under me. “I should also check on Shadow, too.”

I sit up, and she quickly races off towards the toilet, while Missy chuckles at us. Jake is sitting beside her, sleeping fitfully with a blanket tucked up under his chin. He looks tired, in more than just one way.

“What’s between you two?” Missy asks, speaking in a stage whisper. The roaring blizzard outside an unpleasant audience we can’t rid ourselves of.

“What do you mean?” I ask, knowing exactly what she means. I pull my own borrowed blanket close and stare into the fires, pretending that I belong here.

“You two, you’re close.” Missy asks. “Is it, you know, like that? I’ve heard it’s a thing among the fancy nobles and rich city folk, I’m not judging or anything. I’ve just never met anyone who… you know?”

“I…” I can’t put words to an answer. I still don’t even know what relationship is building between us. Not really.

To Fate, I’m a companion, a warm body in the night, a person nearby to keep the silence at bay. Her delusions of a heroic quest to save the world are nothing if there’s no one around to hear them, no one there to shake their heads in disbelief at her silliness.

“Do you love each other? Or are you just like friends, or something?” She asks, her eyes shining bright. A new piece of gossip to share with the town, delighting her greatly, but she seems earnest enough, unlike the other noble girls that I remember speaking with over tea.

“It’s… companionship.” I say, sighing long and slow. “If I didn’t cross her path, she’d have found someone else to bring with her on her adventure. We’re both heading the same direction is all it is. There’s not really anything more to it.”

“I was the one to clean your sheets.” Missy chuckles, “There is a little more to it, no?”

I can pretend that the warmth in my cheeks are from the heat of the fire so long as I keep staring into it.

“She was lonely, and I don’t mind playing along.” I say quickly. “That’s it.”

“That’s it?” She asks, a playful note to her voice.

“It is.” I say, clutching at my bag and turning away from the fire.

Outside, the blizzard calls to me; welcoming me with promises to make me feel numb once again. Telling me that I don’t belong by this fireside, in the warmth of shelter.

I should be out there, looking for my end, but while winter tries to assert itself, it’s spring that distracts me. New life and experiences tempt me even now, even knowing that it’s all meaningless.

“So how does it work?” Missy asks, in the same loud stage whisper as the last time, dragging me back into the room and making me wish that Fate was still here so I could foist these questions off onto her.

~Fate

In the raging snow, the rest of the world could be a world away and I wouldn’t know it. If I wasn’t leaning against the wall, I could be lost wandering the same street until the storm ends. Yet, the freezing cold makes the warmth so much more satisfying as I open the door to the stable.

Shadow snorts at me, demanding that I close the door, feeling the chill that chases me into the room.

“Aren’t you at least a little happy to see me?” I ask, shutting the door and brushing the snow off of my shoulders.

The stable here is fully enclosed, which I imagine it has to be. Snowstorms in spring might be a surprise, but I’m sure it’s rather common for winter

Shadow turns his head and glares at me, looking at a brush nearby and snorting again. He really doesn’t need a voice to make himself clear.

“Fine, fine.” I say picking up the brush and getting to work. The stone wall here backs onto the fireplace from the main building and it’s surprisingly warm, so it’s no surprise that he’s worked up a little sweat even with the snowstorm outside.

“You’ve been okay in here?” I ask, brushing his black coat. He snorts dismissively, bored but warm.

I swear that he can actually talk back to me with proper words but couldn’t be bothered to. I’ve known a few people who think themselves too important to talk to me, communicating only sneers and snorts.

“Shadow, what am I doing?” I ask the horse, going through the familiar motions while staring into the distance.

“Should I have not left home?” I ask. “Ma and Da are probably missing me. No, they’re definitely missing me.

“But I had to leave, you know. It was just so suffocating, and I just… I don’t want to accept it. I don’t want to be obsessing about it every single day. I want to live, I want to go on an adventure. I want to see the old ruins in the north, I want to try crossing the desert to see what’s on the other side.

“I want to take my time falling in love…” I mumble, my hands stopping. I lean forwards and press my head against Shadow’s warm side.

“Do you think Hope…” I say, staring down at the scattered straw on the ground.

“I just… I know it’s not real… she’s just playing along for my sake. Pitying me. It’s not really real, it’s just… It’s not wrong, is it? It’s exciting, and fun, and it’s an adventure like I always wanted. Maybe it’s not a true romance, but I don’t have the time to wait for that.”

Shadow turns his head, snorting at me to get back to my brushing. An arrogant creature he is, but he’s right.

“I should just do what I want.” I say, straightening. “I’ll save the world at the last second, I’ll get the girl and we’ll live happily ever after. It’ll be just like the grand stories of myth and legend. Even the gods will look down in curiosity.

“We’ll all have a happy ending.” I say, shaking off the gloom and finishing with Shadow. He still has water, which is good, since I’m not sure I can go fetch anything from the well right this moment.

I fill his feed tray with a good handful of feed, it’s nothing impressive, nothing like what he’s used to, but he doesn’t complain. Even if he did it’s not like I’m hiding the good stuff on him.

“Thanks for coming with me.” I say, running a hand through his mane before staring through the wall. I should get back, it’s bad enough that I’m talking to Shadow as if he can understand.

It’s just easier being around people, my mind doesn’t wander in so many strange directions when there’s other people around to talk to. Telling them stories, or asking about their lives, making a trade, it’s all so much more interesting than being alone with my own thoughts.

“I’ll be back later.” I say to Shadow, but he doesn’t even bother to say goodbye as I squeeze out the door into the snow. I make sure that the door is firmly closed and turn back to face the blinding snow.

I lift my scarf up to cover my face, peeking through the thick falling snow. With my hand pressed to the wall, I stomp through the thick snow, walking in the footsteps that I made coming out here.

The blizzards roar grows louder as the cold winds tear at me, pulling me back and throwing more snow around. A burst of power more intense than I was expecting, but not more than I can handle. I lean into the wind and press on, there should only be a few more steps to the door.

As I start to worry that I might have walked past the door without seeing it, the winds die, and the snow washes past. Everything turns still, the air freezing everything in place.

The eye of the storm. I’ve heard the saying, but it’s something else entirely to experience it myself.

The full darkness of night surrounds me, but even so I can see the wall of snow surrounding me in every direction, covering most of the buildings and only leaving this small patch unmoved.

A whisper cuts through the storm, but I can’t quite make out the words. The speaker, a vague figure in the darkness, stands in the middle of the street, snow up to their knees.

“Um… you’ll have to speak up.” I say, trying to get a clear look at them.

“I… hello.” The speaker sounds a little uncertain of herself, but as she speaks up, I can see her properly. A figure a little shorter than me, and skinny, too, which seems a little strange. I know that my winter clothes leave my silhouette more that of a ball than a lady.

“Aren’t you cold?” I ask, pulling my scarf up a little higher. The winds and the snow might be gone, but the air itself feels like it’s freezing around me.

“No… I’m not. Thank you. For asking, I mean.” She certainly has a feminine voice, crystalline like the ringing of a fine glass.

For once I can’t find anything to say, the situation is just so strange. Unreal, it feels a little like a fairy tale.

“Well, I think I’m going to go inside, somewhere warm. Do you want to come with me?” I say, shivering from the icy cold.

“No.” She replies. “I shouldn’t.”

“Well, don’t stay out here too long.” I say, rubbing my hands together.

“I won’t.” She replies, watching me as I trudge through the snow to the door of the inn. I look back towards her, only for the storm to wash over me, pushing me inside.

I force the door closed, fighting against the wind and the snow. The warmth of the room tingles on my skin, giving life back to me.

Hope is sitting up and talking with Missy while Jake is still sleeping. I pull off my outer coat and brush the snow off before running over to them. I could lean over the fireplace to warm back up, but there’s a much better option just sitting around under her blanket.

“Hope!” I shout, flopping on the couch and pulling her into my arms. She doesn’t struggle, but she does shiver as my cold hands touch her neck. She doesn’t even complain, resigning herself to it.

No fun, but still warm.

“Welcome back.” Missy says, smiling happily from her side of the fire.

“I just met the strangest person.” I say, feeling the slight sting of warmth reinvigorating my frozen flesh. It’s a pleasant pain, there’s nothing quite like warming up from the cold. “She was out there in the eye of the storm with me.”

“The eye of the storm?” Hope asks, adjusting her blankets and spreading them to make sure they cover me too.

“Yeah, the calm centre of the storm where the winds die down.” I say, trying to find a prettier way to describe it. “The calm heart to the raging storm.”

“Ah, are you okay? You didn’t eat or drink anything weird, did you?” Missy asks, leaning forwards in her chair. “Blizzards aren’t like that. At least not any I’ve lived through.”

“Really? But it was outside the door. There was someone there with me, too.” I say. “I didn’t catch her name, but she had a pretty voice.”

“That’s… ah, not normal.” Missy says. “Did you make sure to lock the door? I’ll just go check actually. Jake, how about you come help me. We’ll check all the doors and windows are locked tight.”

The young man shudders awake, pulled to his feet before he can get his bearings.

“What’s all that?” I ask, sinking into the chair and adjusting my arms around Hope. She doesn’t complain, passively accepting me in her life.

Is it pity? Apathy? Or is she just lonely, like me?

I’m not sure I want to know. If I ask too many questions, then this warmth will leave me alone in the blizzards freezing cold.

~Hope

The sun rises to the sounds of uproar in the village. The storm has passed, though it’s left annoyingly thick snow in its wake, and all the villagers are going around checking on one another.

It seems as though someone didn’t make it through the storm.

I follow Fate through the thick mass of people, some excited, some worried, others nervous, and just outright confounded. A life has been lost, but that’s not what bothers people so.

An older lady has been found dead. Frozen solid, harder than ice. Every hair on her head and every wrinkle on her face perfectly preserved in the ice sculpture that she’s become.

Yet by some magic the fire that she sits beside is still burning bright, the warmth enough to summon sweat upon my brow, even as I stand further from it.

A layer of white ice is left behind on the wooden floorboards of her house, footprints a little smaller than my own feet would make. A similar ice covers an empty chair by the fire, a shadow of a young woman, who obviously isn’t there.

On a small tabletop rests a teapot, one cup empty but for the last droplets staining the bottom, the other is still full, but frozen solid.

Fates hand reaches out for my own, her thick winter gloves cold to the touch.