Knocking in the Night

~Hope

The fireplace crackles loudly, but not loud enough to quiet the roar of the wolf that’s returned to hound us. Icy waves of snow wash over the building, pounding on the wooden planks covering the windows and drawing us all closer to the fire.

Jake is sleeping, he does tend to fall asleep early from what I’ve seen, but I don’t mind. I’m not wanting more company, the silence between Fate, Missy, and I is more than enough for me.

More than too much really.

The bruising on my side has started to darken, but I try not to touch it.

I’ve been wounded far worse before, and I’m not blaming Fate for it, but the only reason I was hurt was because I chose to stay here with her. I could’ve gone ahead on my own, made my own way to find… that place.

I can’t even let myself think of the meaning behind it, but I won’t let this go.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Fate asks, turning her sharp eyes back towards me.

“I’m fine.” I say. “I’ve been hurt worse out hunting.”

It’s that gaze that frightens me. It’s the fact that I want to open up to her, to say everything that I can’t. To admit everything.

I won’t.

But the fact that I want to is enough to be frightening.

“Hunting?” Missy asks, leaning towards us as she continues work with her sewing. It’s more than a little messy but I’m not really sure if that’s not normal for these sorts of things. I’ve only had the best of clothes when I was young, and the cast offs no one wanted when I grew up, so I’m not sure I’m in a position to judge.

It’s rather messy though.

“Hope hunted the monsters in the great desert.” Fate says excitedly. “I didn’t know there was anyone who went out there before I met Hope and she brought me the carapace of one of the monsters.”

“Hunting monsters in the desert?” Missy asks, putting her sewing down. “That’s why you’re tanned I suppose, but… what possessed you to take on work like that?”

“I used to be able to trade the monster parts. The merchant called them an oddity. Something nobles and merchants wanted to show off.” I say, shrugging. The bag is still leaning against my leg where I left it.

“How did you fight them?” Fate asks. “You said something about how they can make the sand into water?”

“They make a sound that makes the sand like water.” I say, “If you’re in the desert always keep an eye out for solid ground, and if you hear them coming, run for your life.”

“If there’s no solid ground?” Fate asks.

“Do you want to die fast or slow?” I ask, turning back to her. “If you don’t want to suffer than make sure you carry a dagger with you.”

“But how do you hunt them?” Fate insists, not even blinking at what I’m saying.

I can’t contain a sigh.

“Their nests.” I say, “When they’re in the sands you won’t even see them and even if you stab at them all you’ll hit is their shell. You have to get to their nests and then cut the joints in their legs.”

“That’s rather gruesome.” Missy says. “Most hunters try to hit the heart, don’t they.”

“You don’t hunt monsters in the desert like you hunt deer.” I reply. “If you’re smart you’ll never even go near the desert.”

I swallow staring down at the fireplace again.

~Fate

There’s more to Hope that she doesn’t want to share, and as much as I want to know, I can’t pressure her. Our relationship is… tenuous, and she can leave at any moment. It’s better to keep things as they are.

“You’re doing pretty good with the sewing.” I say, staring at the tiny dress Missy is making. It’s in neutral colours and most people dress their children in things like that until they’re four or five regardless of if they’re boys or girls.

“Thank you, but I know it’s not very good.” Missy says, staring down at her own work. It’s clear that she’s never designed anything and while she’s probably put some thought into it, it’s just not lining up properly. The sleaves in particular are a mess, but I don’t have any advice to give her.

I’ve never been good with working on things like that.

“Have you always been a traveling merchant?” Missy asks, turning the topic away from the small dress.

“Nope.” I say happily. “It’s a recent thing. It’s all just to help me get around while I’m looking into some ancient ruins, looking into the first empire. I’m sure they had a plan to save the world.”

Hope shifts a little uncomfortably at my side as I say it, probably embarrassed for me. It’s the kind of thing I’ve heard kids say, not adults, but still, what’s wrong with wanting the world to keep going on?

The fire flickers bright as a chunk of blackened wood collapses in on itself. The crackling overwhelming the roar from outside for a moment before it settles down again.

“A pleasant dream.” Missy says, nodding slowly as she continues with her sewing.

“I need something to eat.” Hope says, her eyes flicking towards Missy and her sewing for a moment before she forces herself to her feet, stumbling a little on her sore hip.

“Sit down. I’ll get you something.” I insist, getting up beside her.

“No, I just… I’m fine.” She says, limping over to where the innkeeper kept food in storage. I, of course, follow her.

“You’re not fine, you’re limping.” I say, ready to catch her if she falls over.

She just sighs like she’s dealing with a petulant child that won’t stop bothering her. When she opens the door to the food storage room, she glances back towards Missy, her lips dipping down for a moment.

“Hope?”

“Those are baby clothes.” She says, looking away and heading into the room. There’s all sorts of foodstuffs in here, more than enough to make it through past next winter if it was all ours.

“Yeah, it seems like it.” I reply.

“That tea she was asking you about…” Hope continues with a partial sentence. “It would stop a pregnancy, so why?”

“We didn’t have any.” I reply. “And we’re probably the last merchants they’re going to see for a while.”

“But still.” She grumbles.

“She wants to keep her child, is there anything wrong with that?” I ask, looking into her eyes. She turns to evade mine, looking nervously over towards the cheeses.

“No, it’s just… I get a bad feeling seeing her working on those clothes. It’s not… like evil or anything. Just… I don’t know...”

“Sad?” I ask.

Slowly she nods, it’s so completely innocent. So very cute that it’s difficult to suppress a smile, but the topic does bring down the mood.

“If that’s enough to make you feel sad, you really must’ve been avoiding people for your whole life.” I say, smiling sadly down at the ground. “It’s best to think that the world is just going to keep going on, don’t you think?”

“What do you mean?” She asks, her face expressing the same skittish nature of a stray cat, wondering if you’re offering food, or trying to trap it.

“If the world is going to keep going, then it’s not really that sad, is it?” I ask. “So much of what’s going on in the world at the moment seems so tragic because we’re expecting the world to end. If it doesn’t then it’s not really that sad, is it?

“It could even be pretty happy. That kid, Jimmy from the tavern. It’s a pretty fun memory for him that he got to be an adult today, but wouldn’t it be so much better if he could look back at today when he’s a grown up and smile about it?”

Hope turns away with a frown trying to think it over, no doubt.

“See, if we look at it that way, it isn’t sad, is it?”

“Fate,” Hope says, her voice low and husky. “I really… I can’t believe that lie, Fate. The world is ending, and I’m fine with that, but it’s still sad to see what other people have to go through.”

“Other people?” I ask. “Hope, is everything alright?”

“Everything is as it should be.” She says, shaking her head and turning to leave the room.

I take a few sticks of jerky before following her back to the fire. Her limping has lessened a little, but I’m not sure she’s not just hiding it.

“Didn’t you find anything?” Missy asks as she sits down.

“I lost my appetite.” Hope replies, staring into the fire.

“I brought some jerky.” I say, offering her a stick. She waves away the offer, but at least Hope takes it when I offer her one.

The distant look in her eyes, the coldness that fills her as she remains unmoving by the fire. The only life in her flickering in her eyes, as a reflection of the fire she stares into.

I’ve seen it before.

When facing the Lover's embrace and the coming end, some people grow desperate. I’m smart enough to know that I’m one of them, but others get cold. They give up. They let themselves die before the end even comes.

Hope has something pushing her forwards, something to do with finding somewhere beautiful, and for the first time since I’ve met her, I’m not sure I ever want to find that place. When we get there, I’m not sure that she’ll be able to keep going after.

“Hope.” I whisper her name, but I don’t think she hears me. I dream of that future where the world keeps going, where she’s found something more to keep her going, but the lump in my throat grows bigger as she remains quiet.

I squeeze her hand, and she twitches, hesitantly squeezing back. She frowns, but that frown is more life than she had before. It’s almost nice to see from her.

“Is it… colder all of a sudden?” Missy asks, shivering as she lifts up her blankets.

She’s right, it’s gotten a little bit colder and there’s something else that feels off too.

The air freezes.

The blizzard has quieted. The raging storm, the pounding on the walls, is all gone.

The sudden silence of the storm is deafening, until a gentle rapping upon the front door shatters the sudden quiet. Even the crackling fire has become silent, and cold. The swaying red flames slowing to a most beautiful dance, subdued by the presence standing outside the inn door.

The spirit has come, and she’s knocking rather politely.

Missy is frozen, Jake still sleeps on the chair beside her, and Hope has lifted her gaze from the fire just to lift a hand to the sword she has leaning against the side of the lounge.

“Um… excuse me?” A familiar crystalline voice calls out from the front door. She sounds somewhere between a fine windchime and shattering ice.

“What do you want?” Hope asks, her eyes still reflecting the slow steady flames. I can feel her steady heart beat while I sit frozen, laying against her side.

“S- sorry about bothering you so late in the evening!” She shouts, “I just… I noticed the fireplace was still burning, and I was… I thought maybe… I don’t know, maybe I could come in and talk?”

“Come in and talk?” Hope asks. She sounds different to normal, cold and a little frightening. “Like the little old lady who kept your company last night?”

“Yes?” Comes the hesitant reply from the door. “It was… I mean… I…” She stutters and hesitates, and I can almost hear a faint sob from the other side of the thick wooden door.

“Can I just come in?” She pleads. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“The old lady?”

“She… I didn’t kill her.” The spirit says. “She was a lovely lady, I wouldn’t ever hurt… I mean kill her. I know people can hurt being near me sometimes, but I don’t mean it. That’s not what happened to her.”

“Someone else came into her house after you left and froze her dead to her chair?” Hope asks, her voice razor sharp. “I don’t believe that.”

“That’s not what happened either.” The spirit says. “But I didn’t kill her. I just… I just want to come in and talk, and eat, and all the other things you humans like to do.”

“Please leave.” Hope says, clutching her small bag to her leg as she lets go of her sword. “There are other people in this town that would welcome you. Go find them.”

“Really?” the spirit asks, hopefully. “Thank you. I will!”

After a few moments more of silence, the rest of us unfreeze, turning to Hope who just stares into the fire as she drinks from her worn waterskin.

“Hope… I never knew you could talk like that. You were scarier than the spirit.” I say, giggling nervously while still shivering from fright.

“With you, I never needed to.” She replies, refusing to look at me.