Prologue – Dreaming of Things Long Past

(Major Trigger Warning! vague depiction of suicide by hanging, asphyxiation)

--"If something like a next life exists...I want to completely destroy everything you love. I want you to feel the same way I feel right now. You will never be able to escape from my revenge, Gilbert!".

--The scenery is a crowded town hall. The people are cheering and screaming, it seems like a joyous ocasion.

The day is a particularly beautiful one. The daybreak's sky was coloured a bright orange, giving it a pretty, almost dreamlike feeling.

And in the center of it all, I stood on a wooden, elevated platform- No, how could that be me? Since when was my hair black? Plus, I was a lot taller- my center of vision was higher than I remembered it. It was the figure of an adult woman, wearing a simple beige robe. This person was definitely not me. So then, why did it feel like it was me?

It was then when it damned on me that this must be a dream. Yes, it must be a dream. A very vivid one, but it's not like I haven't had any of those ever since I came here a few years ago.

But still, even though it's a dream, I felt really uneasy...

"-Orlane Roche!" A raspy voice called. It was a short, stocky man with a long beard in a military uniform, holding a scroll in his hands.

"Countess of Roche and Lombard, self-proclaimed Empress Regent. You have commited grave sins against our prosperous and mighty Empire, not only against the sacred Imperial family, but also against the populace as well as the continent at large. Killing your own adoptive father, Count Narcian Roche, who took you in, a mere commoner, and declared you his daughter and heiress, to gain control of his territories and improve your social standing, and pinned the blame on the rebels of the Kingdom of Eretria! Poisoning the Crown Prince and declaring yourself regent to prolong the war against the Eretrian and Ludmer Kingdoms, killing countless- No, millions of soldiers, both Velzan and foreign, to fulfill your ambitions of total subjugation of the continent!".

Ah, is this maybe a so-called "condemnation scene", like those from the fantasy novels Addie lets me borrow from the library? The ones where the vile villainess's misdeeds are discovered and she is punished by the main characters. But, why would I dream of being the villainess...Besides, the name Roche, where had I heard it before?

Once the man was finished with his grandiose speech, the crowd began cheering loudly once again. Their cheers were not of jubilous celebration, like I thought before. They were cheers of pure spite and hatred.

"Die, you bitch!"

"My husband and son died because of your stupid war...You don't deserve to live! Die! Die and go to the hell where you belong and never come back!".

"To hell with you, Roche!"

Such harsh words coming out from their mouths...This villainess must have been a terrible person, loved by no one. But for some reason, I felt sorry for her- for me-.

--Suddenly, the crowd went silent. Even the man with the beard jolted upright, folded the parchment into his pocket and saluted.

When I turned my vision, I saw the reason why the cheers stopped. Walking towards the platform, was a tall, imposing-

- huh?.

What was Addie's dad doing in my dream?

He looked much younger, but that was undoubtely Addie's dad! He had the same bright blond hair that looked just like gold, and those scary, sharp garnet eyes that looked like they gazed right into your soul. Even if he was younger than before, he still was intimidating- And he was walking straight towards where I stood.

"Orlane." His voice called out towards the villainess- towards me. It was not the severe voice that caused me to shiver in fear and cower like a child. It was more gentle, even a little sorrowful. Maybe he and Orlane were close. Maybe he knew her and that's why he was uncharacteristically solemn about this.

Without any input, I- no, the villainess, Orlane, began speaking words that I didn't even think.

"Your...Majesty..."

I felt something wet on my face, and I realized they were tears. I was crying. Without realizing it, I had dropped onto my knees and was crying.

"Why...why won't you believe me..."

"There's nothing to argue about here, Orlane. It's over."

"No, Your Majesty, you've got it all wrong! It was not my fault, I only did what I had to do! I did it all for you! I did it all because I love-"

"Please, Orlane. Don't say anything. For both you and me. There's nothing more to explain."

"But, but..!"

"Even now, you refuse to acknowledge your mistakes and keep directing the blame at others. I'm dissapointed in you, Orlane."

A whirlwind of emotions overtook my entire body. Grief, disbelief, horror, sadness- and most pervasive of then all- a deep sense of betrayal unlike anything I have ever felt. I was scared and confused. Were these Orlane's emotions? How more vivid could this dream get?. Before I could think anything again, once again, I- Orlane, spoke without thinking.

"Your Majesty, you know I would never dare to betray you! These people, they've got it all wrong! They're lying to you! I was trying to help, I'm being honest! Why won't you believe me?! I have been by your side all these years, yet you still, you still-"

"Orlane Roche".

It was then when Addie's dad unsheated his sword, and pointed it directly at me- at Orlane. My heart sank.

"I hereby sentence you to life in prison."

The man with the beard spoke, full of indignation.

"Your Majesty, that's-"

"You think it's too lenient a punishment? In my opinion, death would be an easy escape for Lady Roche. However, by sentencing her to life in prison, she will have to live with the guilt of her sins for the rest of her life, with nothing to ease her spirit. Don't you think that's a fitting end for a wicked woman, Roderick?."

With a small smirk, Addie's father stated his reasoning.

"Y-yes, Your Majesty. It is indeed, a much fitting one..." The bearded man- Roderick, coughed and agreed with Addie's dad, though I got the impression he was a little dissapointed. He probably wanted me killed in the most brutal way possible. What a jerk.

In fact, everyone here was a jerk.

Addie's dad then turned towards the guards standing on each of my sides.

"Bring her to the dungeons inmediately."

"Yes, Your Majesty!"

The guards forcibly grabbed me by my tied arms, forcing me to stand up, and guided me away from the platform. The crowd of spectators was as large as ever, but still silent- nobody wanted to upset the Emperor. Instead of channeling their disgust into vulgar cheers, they instead opted for giving me cold, disdainful glares.

But the most painful thing for me wasn't the glares. I could bear the glares, what they thought of me didn't matter- What hurt me the most was- Was that he, that he-

"Hey!"

"What are you doing standing here?! Go get her!"

Once again, my body- damn, Orlane's body, acted on it's own, and taking advantage of the guards's distraction, slipped from their restrains on her arms, and ran straight once again towards the platform- towards Addie's father, the Emperor-

"Gil!"

The fact she called him by his name once again clued me that the two had been close- But my thoughts were suddenly overrun by thoughts that weren't mine-

I, Orlane, knelt onto where he stood and grabbed his cape as a last, desperate resort for mercy. I wanted him to hear me, I wanted him to hear the truth from my own mouth, he needed to know what happened, that he was in danger-

But what i received was a cold, unfeeling stare. A final rejection. Once again, my eyes filled with tears, I didn't feel anything. I couldn't feel anything. Not when the guards caught up to me, not when they manhandled me and called me a lot of expletives as they ressumed our journey to the dungeon. The only thing I could focus on, was on the figure of the man I had once loved. The man who had now betrayed me-

And whom despite everything, I still loved.

A cramped dungeon room.

"How could you do this to me...How could you do this to me, Gilbert..."

Disgusting food.

"I loved you. I loved you so much. I wanted you to be happy."

An uncomfortable bed.

"All I ever did was to protect you, to keep you safe..."

The pervassive feelings of despair, of loneliness, of longing.

"Yet you, you refused to believe me...You listened to their words before you ever listened to mine..."

The budding feelings of resenment, anger, hatred...

"Did our friendship meant anything to you? Did I ever meant something to you...? Was I a friend?...or a cute pet you could spoil and give affection whenever you needed, but kicked out once it became useless to you...?

The feeling of cold wood on my feet, a soft pressure on my neck, then suddenly, I let go of the cold wood and i'm now suspended in the air.

"I hate you. I hate you so much."

-- "...lia! ..ke..up...! ple...se..!"

"It was a mistake ever falling in love with a man like you."

A burning sensation on my neck-- It hurts it hurts it hurts I can't breathe It hurts it hurts it hurts- I can't breathe- - I don't understand what's going on. I feel my body shaking- violently tossing and turning, my hands burn and suddenly they feel wet, I feel like they're covered in goo and I'm smearing it all over the rope, only to realize the "goo" it's actually my blood- My bloody hands, bruised from trying to wrestle the rope off my neck--

"If i'm ever reborn..."

--"..lia! ...wake up!!"

Someone make it stop! It hurts so much! I don't want to die! I don't want to die! Little by little, my body stops shaking less and less and suddenly my hands slide off the rope and- it's funny, I don't feel any pain anymore. Everything is numb. So numb. I feel like my mind is fading. I don't feel anything anymore. Nothing. I'm scared. I want to wake up. I don't want to die. Please, let me wake up. Let me wake up from this ugly dream-

"I will take everything away from you. So you can feel how I feel right now."

-"Celia! Wake up!!"

"YOU'LL NEVER ESCAPE FROM ME, GILBERT SVEIGDER!!"

"---Haa-!"

With a sharp intake of breath, I jolted awake. Instinctively, I brought my hands to my neck and breathed in and out. In and out. It was then when I realized, my respiration was normal. How could that be, hadn't I been asphyxiating just a minute ago-

"Waaah! Celiaa! You're alive!!"

My thoughts were interrupted by an abrupt, loud wail. It was Addie, who was crying her eyes out while thightly squeezing my hand. For how long had I been unconcious?

I remembered now. I had been playing catch with her and Oliver, then the ball hit me in the head and I fainted. I must have worried her sick. Her pretty face was stained with tears and all I wanted was to hug her thightly and tell her I was fine. But my body refused to move.

That was when I, Cecelia Zadkar, Crown Princess of the Kingdom of Rhiannon, and current hostage of the Velzan Empire, realized I had dreamed of my past life.

Once upon a time, I had been Orlane Roche, the usurper who ten years ago took the throne and wrought havoc in the Imperial court before being imprisoned and posteriorly dying in cautivery.

And the man who killed me was none other than Emperor Gilbert Alaric Sveigder, the father of my best friend in the world, Addie, also known as Princess Adelheidis Velza Sveigder.