VOLUME 2 : CHAPTER 5 : CAN I BE A HUMAN EVER AGAIN {PART - 2}

I won’t be able to make it. Even this chance is gone. The picture of girl being killed in front of me was making me go beyond insane. Just the thought of it was making me cry. Not for the little girl, neither for me but the thought that I was part of this whole fiasco – which people like to call chivalry. I had failed as a human being, a soldier and as a living rational & emotional being too.

Someone, anyone please help that girl that was all I could think about. But I couldn’t see a single glance with the glint of kindness I was hoping for but faces without an eye, ear, and nose but curved lines facing upwards.

My eyes had closed and I had given up on running, and so did the voices, which were now giving the vibe of astonishment and confusion.

My gazes met with a white being, which had eight red-beaded eyes, gazing almost through us, as if appraising our worth. I looked at other soldiers and they were trapped in some kind of strong and sticky white thread.

I made sure to take a proper look at the new found scenery and was flabbergasted to the extent that it made me happy and scream out in joy.

A giant spider, almost as huge as a normal sized trunk in which I used to keep my knight suit, was standing in front of the beast girl as if trying to protect her from the soldiers. The soldiers too were still confused and trapped in the webs.

Its colour was so white that it reminded me of the cold winter snow that once destroyed our crops, but actually I enjoyed playing with it. It had its own bitter and sweet side.

Any attempt the soldiers made, they were found trapped in the webs which were now spread all across us forming a small impenetrable wall.

The more the soldiers tried to resist, the more they got entangled with the threads. While some tried to strike it down with their swords while others used fire magic but none of them seemed to work.

Commander Ritt was shouting at his full voice, frustrated at the sudden strange turn of events. “Get rid of that weak little spider. Protect the princess and kill the cursed evil beast girl who has collaborated with the monsters.”

Now the Silver Imperial Knights had appeared who were the strongest in the whole army and had levels above 4500. A single Imperial knight was capable of defeating two hundred soldiers all on his own without putting much effort. They excelled in magic, swordsmanship and practiced aural arts. Somehow they were able to dodge the webs, or maybe use objects and other soldiers to keep themselves from being caught. But still they were unable to close in near the spider. The beast girl was still crying while hugging her mother who was now drenched in red blood.

She just couldn’t let it go and accept….. No one could have.

Thousands of soldiers, mages and imperial knights had surrounded the spider, but they were not making much progress. But what surprised me most was that not a single soldier had been killed yet.

I used appraisal on the white spider and out of bewilderment took a step back. How is this even possible? A level 9 spider, and just at level 9 can use all kinds of magic attributes which are almost maxed out at that too. Even with my maxed out appraisal skill I was unable to see its title and something sort of called a ‘unique skill’ which was new to me.

But what really surprised me that the spider could use both divine light and dark matter magic. It was not that it was unheard of, magic used by the Gods of the divine realm and Devils of the Hell; but it was something that is totally impossible. Two strongest opposing attributes can never exist in a single entity; otherwise the soul being of that person will fall apart.

But seeing such a creature standing right in front of me was a miracle. If word goes out about such a monster then it can even be labeled as catastrophe class monster just at level 9, which was usually designated to monsters with level above 4000.

Maybe I should stop calling it a monster, even though it has no name, and spiders are considered one of the weakest monster species. Somehow it was different than all the monsters I had encountered in my life. It was protecting not only the beastgirl but was keeping the other soldiers away without hurting anyone. It was an intelligent being and maybe kind too. Such words for a monster meant more than the world to anyone else.

But I don’t think this could keep up for long, the number of soldiers are far above than a single being can alone handle without killing them, even though the monster looked determined and resolved of what it was doing. It needs to take away the girl and run, but there is no place or opening to go. Also the mental state of the beast girl does not appear to be that good.

I was trying my best to think of a way to create a diversion and allow the both of them to escape. I was ready to face any consequences and punishment for my actions on that part. That was the only thing I could do.

“HAAHAAAAHHHAHA”

“YOU SEE, I KILLED IT. I CLEANED THE FILTH. HAAHAAHAH.”

I looked up again at all the unfolding chaos, and among all that the princess was standing behind the beast girl, with a dagger imbued in blood and red drops scattered all over her royal dress and her unsightly face.

I was late again, I failed again, and this was the third failure on my part. I was weak and foolish to think that I could do something. A coward who just stood by and watched.

I was afraid to die, I finally realized it. Am I not allowed to have this feeling?

The princess was laughing like a madman, while all the other soldiers who were fighting up till now stood and watched.

I think they too had realized up till now what they were actually doing and what they had done up till now.

But my eyes followed that of the spider who tried to bring back the beheaded girl’s head back at its position and tried to cast some kind of magic maybe a healing spell.

A monster with compassion. Ha….

But something was not right, the magical pressure in the surrounding, I could feel it increasing; it was exponentially so high that I was knocked down to the ground.

The white spider was now surrounded in a dark purple aura and something similar was happening to the other soldiers. Some cried in pain, most of them tried shouting for help or uttered curses and words of doubt. I could feel my bones being crushed under that huge pressure; my legs had already become numb.

The ground was shaking, and all the tents by now had fallen. Most of the soldiers were experiencing the same thing, lying on the floor and unable to move. While some of those who were outstanding fighter and the imperial knights were barely able to move. It was some kind of high-class gravity magic which I had never heard of as a strategic class soldier, I had read all the books on magic and its types, the discovered spells and their specific characteristics. But gravity magic was a rare one, and something this strong a spell to manifest was never recorded in history.

The next all I could remember was a bright light shrouded in darkness, maybe I was dreaming the impossible. But this light had blackened my view leaving me unconscious.

***

SACHI KONDO {I AM BACK }

I was now on floor eleven, and as usual was prepared to hunt down all the monsters in there.

I used my appraisal skill across the floor and spotted hundred ‘SCOUNDRIEAL KOBOLDS’. They were all of level 2500 and possessed extraordinary agility, magic sense and sharp canines to hunt down their prey in one bite.

But for now they seemed to be awesomely quite. It’s not like the monsters that possess magic sense, because they would start attacking me immediately just after I enter their territory.

I used telescopic view and saw some of them munching over something. On close inspection, their food was something covered in metal, evident from the clanking sound that resonated through.

“HUMANS. I finally found them.” Even though they were dead I couldn’t contain my excitement and burned down the whole floor with {BLACK FLARE}. No need to worry I made sure that all the humans were already dead.

If I want to establish contact with them, then of course I can’t kill them. Even though they will be hostile to me in the start but if I am able to somehow relay that I am harmless then I do have a chance of co-operation.

I was hoping to meet some humans since I was nearing the entrance but this was just too soon. With the small group of humans dressed in a knight’s uniform I can conclude that they were a scout party. That means I will be meeting alive humans on the next floor, PROBABLY.

If they are not killed that is. The monsters here are pretty strong.

I should go forward with the fact in mind that I won’t be greeted with a special welcome, since we won’t be able to talk as our languages will be different.

Usually in novels I read that reincarnated people avoided such situations and meetings. But how about pictures and sketches, surely I can make using some with my webs, don’t doubt my drawing skills. They are pretty good; at least you can call them above average. Or I can carve on the ground the symbol of peace by shaking hands. Humans were successfully able to communicate using pictures during Stone Age and they also used this method in Egyptian civilization.

The better choice would be that if I swoop in and save them from the monsters, if they are being attacked and on the verge of being defeated that is. It is totally the event where a character can gain trust; respect and forge bonds of friendship. They will owe their life to me.

But there is always just the case that the humans are strong and they won’t bother with an absurd and irrational behavior of a monster and would simply kill me, considering an anomaly of the labyrinth. Considering that I actually am, being a reincarnate from another world, saving this world and tied to a goddess – pretty normal to speak of. HUH.

That would be bad.

Then I can’t forget that I am bad at communicating things too. A complete failure on my part. Why did I have to go and isolate myself in the previous life? But maybe it is also an opportunity to know people of this world for the first time. I will be their friendly neighbourhood spider.

Well there is no point in wasting time and thinking about stuff that will matter in the long run. Of course I am not thinking of the good food I can obtain from the humans. I also need to make sure that I am not the first to show hostility against them. I must completely act normal.

Wait is monster communication with humans even considered normal. Maybe they worship spiders in this world that would be the silver lining of the clouds which had foreshadowed my life up until now. Well this is a new world who knows what will happen next.

I had now entered through the gateway that leads to floor 10, and honestly speaking it was a very large floor. The ceiling was a bit low but the area expanded far and wide.

But my eyes were fixed on the hundreds of huge tents that covered the entire place. And a huge compound area was left bare in between.

I used invisibility skill on myself using the kinetic eye and started walking across the tents and the laid down path. I was delighted to see the things created by humans for the first time.

There was cloth, mugs, steel plates, firewood, tools, swords, nails, thrown here and there. Ahem, of course it was like a trip to museum seeing historic things. Obviously you can’t expect technological advancement in a magical world. Even though they were simple daily use item, I just couldn’t calm down my curiousness.

“#$%#$#%#^^%%^$%”

Loud noises were coming from the mid-compound open area. That’s right I was so into it that I forgot to notice that all the humans were missing. So there they all were.

But these cheers did not look like they were singing or supporting someone. I don’t know why but it felt a bit sinister.

I quickly crawled my way through the tents and reached the sidelines of the commotion and took a flight in the sky.

Just what on earth was happening? Swords and spears were passed through alive beings while all they could do was cry in anguish with their hands tied making them look like some criminals. They were the beastmen whom I read about back when I was with Lady Athena collecting information about the world in which I was about to be born. Not that I thought I would meet one of them so soon. But these circumstances….

The people who were cheering after killing those beastmen, how can they still smile? A bitter taste had filled my mouth. Somehow all of this reminded me of the floor where I defeated the goblin race and how they ensured their own survival. The people who were killing these for whatever reasons I don’t care; were the real monsters. No crime can garner such attention and savagery.

But what was that little girl doing among them. A girl with white fox ears and tail was tightly clenching with both her hands to another figure that was already dead and crying at the top of her voice. How could I tell, that she was dead just by looking, because I think somewhere along the line while hunting the monsters I had learned to sense the breath of life from the people around me.

Mother, I think that’s what she was, to the little girl. Being impaled by spears and swords, she was still able to move and protect her daughter from death by becoming a shield herself, no matter how many times she had to die, no matter how much pain she had suffered and no matter how much pain she will suffer, she will happily just do anything for her own child because that’s what a mother is for. No, to put it more appropriately – because that’s what a mother always tend to do for her children. The relation tied by the strings which even Gods cannot break, how these humans dare try to defile, such a holy bond and still run their mouths laughing and continue with their killing spree like mindless fiends.

“I will not allow this to happen; I will not let her die.”

I will save her; I cannot allow seeing someone getting destroyed again. I cannot allow the same events to repeat again. Losing someone dear to you, reminded me of my own parents whom I had forgotten after the road accident. Yes, my whole childhood with my parents is blank. A monster like me can’t even cry. But this girl behind me is just like my previous self, who at present has no one to help her and hungry animals surround her to take advantage of this weakness.

Even though I was a bit late, I cannot let the sacrifice of her mother be in vain. I cannot also kill a human, because Lady Athena won’t like it. I am not a murderer. All I have to do is to keep these soldiers restrained and make an opening through these large numbers while carrying the beast child somewhere far away.

But the numbers of these humans keeps on increasing; and all have different strength and are persistent. They think they can kill me, but I am not the same weak person whom you can toy with; you see I have a promise to fulfill. But if I leave a person in need alone then I can’t be content by just the promise being fulfilled in its worded terms. That’s something neither of us would like to happen.

Not killing these humans and still restraining them is getting tougher by every moment flew by. What kind of people are these using their own men as shields and hiding behind others back?

Maybe with this, even though that kid has just now lost her mother and seen such awful things, if I save her and spend some time with her…. Or maybe cook some good food for her on a regular basis then she will cheer up a bit. Well, it does for me. Maybe I will get to make my first friends in this new world, right here in this dungeon. The fact that she will accept me even though I am a monster. Somehow the thought of it makes me happy.

But things were not looking upright, my hands were getting full, some of these humans are exceptionally skilled, I need to produce webs at a much faster rate otherwise they will get to that girl or even kill me before I am able to do anything.

Unexpectedly, my danger senses somehow were behaving a bit differently, with these many people directing their hostility towards me, before I could realize I heard a sinister laughter. Not a laughter of a human or a monster but the laughter of a mindless being. I looked back and another girl I had not accounted for was holding a dagger covered in blood and was slowly wiping the blood shots that had fallen on her faces.

“No, no, no, no ,no, no.”

“Not again. Not her too.”

I tried to move the fallen head of that little girl with care and placed it at its correct position and without delay casted my strongest healing magic as with as much magical energy I could imbue in it.

“DIVINE HEAL.”

There were no changes, no movements, unlike my past experiences where I would even come back from the verge of death.

I must keep on trying. My magic has never failed me.

“DIVINE HEAL.”

‘Once more. It should work now. I am sure of it.’

“DIVINE HEAL.”

‘Please don’t give up now…not now…please. I just wanted to save you, I was sure I am not late at least saving you was for sure.’

“DIVINE HEAL.”

“DIVINE HEAL.”

“But why, why won’t it work. Is it because she is deep asleep now. Even though I wanted to save her.”

I was supposed to save the world but couldn’t even save this small girl. I thought I had grown up to be strong after beating those monsters, but I was just getting ahead of myself.

I am still weak. Still shy. Still afraid. Still confused. Still unable to make the right choice and go along with it when it counts the most. If only I had made the right calling and killed those monsters in front of me who called themselves humans.

It was no different than earth; just their ways had changed, a bit more inclined to violence and fight. Saving the World for these beings, I couldn’t have been more wrong. I needed to save the world from them.

Was there any purpose to all of this? Isn’t it wrong for me to seek purpose in another’s life and death?

The chains which were binding me – the feeling that I was still human. That I still had a human heart inside me will get me nowhere. It was all a lie, or at least now I want it to be. Because of my own insecurities and carelessness of handling this situation a person’s life was lost. It was my naive behavior and optimistic thinking. I had lightened up and became careless. She was still so young and the unbearable suffering she was put through….

“UNFORGIVABLE. I NEED TO KILL THEM ALL. RIGHT HERE IN THIS MOMENT, IN THIS VERY PLACE. TO STOP THIS FROM HAPPENING EVER AGAIN, I MUST KILL ALL THE EVIL-DOERS.”

I had been bent and broken, but I now knew I can hop into a better shape. A form that can really save this world. The only way is to cleanse it of all evil. Anyone who tries to hurt an innocent is my enemy. And I kill all my enemies; I will not waver in my resolve nor discriminate against those who try to disturb the peace of this world.

This hollow black-pitch box- is it MY ROOM – back on earth - in which I was sitting in, with my legs folded and head down – was it really me. But why of all places I am here now. I need to get back right now.

“Every single living being goes through their life depending on their past experience, awareness of the present and hopes for the future. And that’s what they call reality. One’s reality might be an illusion for other. Didn’t you wanted to live according to your own little fantasy story?”

It was a voice I had never heard before, a voice which did not sound human at all and more like a mechanical robot. Not that I care.

For me everything was in heartbreak…. The pain of a breaking heart. This loss I suffered even though I hadn’t even taken a good look at her face, neither talked to her, but she felt so familiar and close to me. The situation she was in was much similar to mine, maybe worse than others. It was her reality, but who was to be blamed to give her such a sad role.

Is it true that there are chosen-ones and the not-chosen ones for victory, happiness, kindness, envy, sorrow and anything I was feeling.

The pain of being alone is completely out of this world! Even now I am alone, in this dark room, in the dungeon surrounded by enemies and I wonder what will happen on the surface.

In this far-fetched reality of mine! Nothing ever goes as planned. The longer I live, the more I realize that in this reality, only pain, emptiness and suffering, exists for me and those around me.

Looks can be deceiving. What a person looks from the outside may actually be different but there is the possibility that from the inside he is still the same. The same goes for me. Maybe I was just pretending to be a hero, trying to save the kid was just a stupid role I wanted to play. In truth by giving preference to not killing those humans I was prioritizing my own safety. I was just a pretender like others. And now the pain of this guilt won’t go. The more I think about it the more it hurts.

The more I acknowledge my mistake the more I remember of my past ones. I had got the unique skill of the All Seeing Eyes Of the God but maybe I was blind to not see through the fact that I was not in a story with plot-twist to bring forth my supremacy, but a small life in which I had to survive with my loved ones no matter what. No matter how peaceful it appears on the top, the bottom of the ocean and the inside heart of a person are always in constant stir.

“Do you understand pain a little now? The selfish desire of wanting to maintain peace causes wars, and hatred is born to protect love.”

“Go away, just what do you want with me.” I cried out as loud as I could trying to vent out my frustration on this menacing voice.

“I am just an existence of coalesced energy, the energy that once was a part of single, ultimate form. I seek a master who can wield me.”

Hate is that what I feel against those who did those horrible things to those people. Is it disgust? I don’t know. Or solely anger. I am still not sure. What is the feeling that would justify my action of killing them, to seek more power, the truth that why was she killed even before she had the chance to view the world a little more. When Lady Athena promised me that she will be by my side while we would travel the whole world, I was so happy. Would she have been too if I offered her to join up?

In this past, her life was just a fleeting moment of my memory, and yet I was making such a big deal out of it. Was it because I was alone, or someone helpless being killed in front of me made my heart move.

Instead of using my powers to destroy others just to sate my own pain, I want to use it to change the world into something better. To transform it into a place not with those incomprehensible and only a moment convenient notions of peace, equality, justice – BUT THE WAY I SAW FIT.

I have finally decided what I needed to do; this feeling of hatred is what I need to get rid of. Not only from my heart but from all the people of this world. Even though it sounds impossible, and ultimate stupidity, that’s the kind of world I would like to live in.

“How can you say that you will never change? That you will not change, no matter how great the pain you face? No matter the losses you will suffer and the people who will come to hate you for this in return? Can you continue believing in yourself forever? “

You should give up on trying making me give up now.

This is one of the things I have decided on my own and there is now way I am going to give up now.

When people get hurt, they learn to hate...When people hurt others, they become hated and racked with guilt. But knowing that pain allows people to be kind to each other. Even though it may be out of sympathy.

Even though I won’t be able to hate others I will gladly accept the hatred of those, it could be the whole world against me.

“Can you guarantee it? Can you have such faith in yourself?”

Though there always be enemies around me, you see I have a friend outside. The promise we made, to share our pain and the understanding we have between us, this feeling of being at peace with her far surpasses any other.

As for the faith in myself I am going to prove it to you not by words but with my actions.

I stood up from my sitting position and walked up to the place where the dark room seems to end and then I tried to pass my hand through the door.

The dark room, cracked like a brittle glass plain, just by my single touch.

“You see, I told you. Let’s meet again, when this world have become a little better than before.”

CRACK. CRACK. CRACK.

The room shattered into pieces which dissolved in an instant into the bright light that was in my vicinity. Light brighter than that of the largest star of the cosmos and warmer than that of sun engulfed me in an instant. While a black fluid settled underground started rising up like a storm and mixed itself in with me.

This was my power and mine alone, it’s all up to me how I use it.

I know that better than any other. The world in which I want to live. The world I wanted to create and the world I wanted to save from drowning in hatred and despair.

[YOU HAVE LEVELLED UP]

[YOU HAVE REACHED LEVEL 10]

[FOURTH FORM : EYE OF SOUL]

[EVOLUTION STAGE I : COMPLETE]

[YOU HAVE EVOLVED INTO RACE : HUMAN]

[YOU HAVE GAINED THE TITLE : MERCILESS]

[ {IMMUNITY} + {MAGIC RESISTANCE} + {ADVANCED BODY STRENGTHENING} + {ADVANCED BODY DURABILITY} + {ULTRA SELF-REGENERATION} HAS COMBINED TO EVOLVE INTO TITLE – IMMORTALITY ]

[PROCESS FAILED]

[REQUIRED EVOLUTION STAGE NOT REACHED]

***

FOURTH FORM : EYE OF SOUL

Allows user to have certain authority over the soul core of beings that are weaker than the user or lack the will to live. Does not apply on beings that have strong life force and strong will power.

***

STATUS WINDOW

NAME : --------

AGE : 6 MONTHS

RACE : HUMAN

LEVEL : 10

HP : ERR

MP : ERR

SP : ERR

UNIQUE SKILL : ALL SEEING EYES OF THE GODS

Ø FIRST FORM: EYE OF INVESTIGATION

Ø SECOND FORM : KINETIC EYE

Ø THIRD FORM : EYE OF ADRANEIA

Ø FOURTH FORM : EYE OF SOUL

SKILLS : [GLUTTONY LV 8][MYSTICAL POISON MAGIC][SAGE OF ADVANCED FIRE MAGIC ][SAGE OF ADVANCED WATER MAGIC] [SAGE OF ADVANCED WOOD MAGIC][SAGE OF ADVANCED WIND MAGIC] [DIVINE MYSTIC THREAD MAGIC] [ADVANCED SOUND MAGIC ] [SAGE OF ADVANCED SPACE- TIME MAGIC][SAGE OF ADVANCED ICE MAGIC] [SAGE OF DIVINE LIGHT] [SAGE OF ADVANCED GRAVITY MAGIC] [SAGE OF DARK MATTER] [SAGE OF ADVANCED LIGHTNING MAGIC] [SAGE OF ADVANCED EARTH MAGIC] [BIO-ENGINEERING] [ELEMENT MANIPULATION] [ABNORMAL STATUS INFLICTION]

TITLE : LEGACY OF GODDESS ARACHNE, SECRETIVE PLOTTER, IMMORTALITY, MERCILESS

///////////////////////////////

THE WISHES OF THE DEAD

“I see, so this is what happens when people die.” I was now standing just beside my dead body. I must have died after I had fainted. Several other dead bodies lay beside, all of their lives extinguished.

Now I will never be able to return home, to my wife and my daughter Miya. But somehow I feel blessed, to be able to witness what was happening in front of me. After the high class gravitational magic force field was casted, most of us were rendered immobile.

The pure white being in front of me was shrouded both in a mystical bright golden light, too bright for me to see and at the same time darkness kept revolving around it, which was again too dark for me to see anything.

But something unique and magnificent was happening to the spider – I was witnessing a change that might change the world for good. And for all I cared that I wanted to be a part of it, to see it through the end.

The radiant rays that kept on launching itself from the centre of all attraction burned everything to nothingness leaving miniature dark spots. The moment it touched anything it was reduced to black strings slowly vanishing.

The cries of the dying and the vanishing ashes of the dead – it was all but in a fleeting moment all over. Something that was satisfying my own fury and relentless hatred for others.

That day a mere single monster wiped out a force of almost 8,000 knights within seconds. Something which only a supreme being could do.

Now there's something I understand a little better. In this world, wherever there is light - there are also shadows. And talking about peace, whilst spilling blood, it's something that only humans can do.

The concept of something being entirely ‘right’ cannot be more less true. A word that has no true meaning.

Today I had learned things I shouldn’t have.

Of how I was born a simpleton, lived like a fool and died like a coward. The true measure of a knight is not only how he lives but also how he dies. And mine was pitiful, just like all the others here.

To try finding the meaning about your true self, will lead you to nothing. Because those who cannot accept their real self always fails.

Soon the whole room got covered itself in that bright golden light and I too started turning into black fading strings.

This was my soul we are talking about. I had heard of people saying that when you die you become one with the True God.

This feeling of becoming one with something unexplainable, beyond the universal boundaries, something grand and inexplicable. It was so satisfying, as if the whole truth was now open to me like a vast pacific ocean in which you can sink to the bottom and still not drown. It was like having an epiphany. A vision of a place where one day everyone will be able to understand each other.

Is the being in front of me a - GOD……..