It's a Deal

Even with the threat gone, most of the lights have been destroyed or ruined. The darkness reaches out around us, touching tenderly as the light from the few fires flicker in their sad attempts to fight it. The grasping, reaching, desperate attempts to stand against the void that would absorb it. Quiet it. Make it nothing.

The spark of white flames in my hand fights for life within the jar, the cell, which I’ve captured it in. The fire is pain. It’s cruelty. It’s destruction. It is everything I need, but it’s more too.

If let loose, if allowed to spread without great care the violence would destroy everything I love, without mind for mercy.

The flames are much smaller than they were, on the verge of dying, but not yet dead.

Slumbering. Settling. Waiting for the next beast that needs to be slaughtered. Waiting to deal justice to those that would wrong me.

Waiting for my next war. My next fight.

The small flickering white flames burn on the surface of a small ‘living’ rock. An infection that should let it last for a few months at least. Enough time.

A warmer fire burns a little away from me, coloured warm in yellows and oranges. A campfire. Food is being warmed over the heat, the fragrance of it spreading through the room. The slick meaty smell for some reason brings the bile to the back of my throat.

I thought I was over that.

Warriors and friends gather around the warm fire, sharing tales over drinks, circling around the light without noticing the darkness reaching out behind them. They’re joyous, cheerful, and happy, focused on the moment. Rudolf smiles for the first time in… have I ever seen the man smile? If so, I’ve forgotten it.

Shen is sitting by the fire, her hosts long body curled up tight, her head nodding back and forth as she listens to the tales spoken in drunken fervour. Excitedly adding a word here and there. The poor snake is still puppeteered around, I should probably look into that when I get a moment. I refused to allow collars, and this isn’t really all that different.

“You brought food?” I ask Nel as she clutches to my side, I can’t see her face clearly here away from the light of the fire. Only the faint light flickering from the hateful flames in my hands, bringing light to us.

“For a few purposes.” She says, refusing to move her head from my shoulder, her hands clutch me tightly. “You’re all very hungry, as I expected, but it can also be used as a meat base for healing. The healers tend to hate it, preferring their own potion blends, but most can use it. Proteins are proteins.”

“Is there anything else it can be used for?” I ask, reaching up into the darkness above, stretching my arms and shoulders. It’s been a long day already, but it’s not yet over.

“This.” Nel says, waving her hand over towards the gathered warriors gloating their victory. The wounded have fully made their recovery and are the centre of attention. Some are showing off the wounds that have already disappeared, others are shyly pretending that nothing happened. The light shines bright in their eyes.

The rebels have joined us, or at least the more welcoming cheerful of them have. The large warrior who fought alongside me is standing and drinking alongside the others.

Alo fits in surprisingly well. Another member of the upper society falling through the cracks into the ruins below. The ruins that we’ve made our home.

Everyone made it through. Things could have gone wrong in a thousand different ways, but we made it. Now I need to ensure that the next battle ends the same. I need to ensure that the darkness around us never consumes that light.

“Diplomacy is easier down with sweetened wines and rich foods. It makes people a little more willing to talk out their issues.” Nel explains. Her fingers still digging painfully tight into me.

She’s always doing things like this. Thinking about things like this. A step ahead of me, and yet always there when I need her to be.

“That’s already more thought than I’ve put into it.” I grumble, my chest tightening as I pull her closer to my side. The darkness clings to us both, but her warmth means far more to me than anything fire can summon.

“You’re doing fine.” Nel says, resting her hand on mine and squeezing. “I’m just here to help smooth things along. You’re still in control, okay?”

I pause, look down at her and let out a long breath. Of course, she knows what’s going on in my head. I’m distracted by new battles, wars, conflicts, but she’s always looking at the rest of us. Looking after us.

“It’s a bother, isn’t it?” I ask. “It’d be so much easier if I wasn’t like this. If I could be normal. If I could give up on all of this.

“We would have time for normal dates, have a normal love. A normal life. I could give you all the attention and love you deserve.” I say, staring up into the depths of darkness above, as clear to me as tomorrow. “I’m… not a good person.”

“I know.” Nel says, still holding my hand. “You haven’t ever lied to me. Not about what matters. I’m here with you through it all, knowing everything that means. Just spare me more than a moment. Don’t ever forget about me. Don’t ever leave me behind.”

Her fingers squeeze tight, her breathing quickens. The darkness clings to her, but so do I. I pull her head close. I know that desperation inside her chest, I know the fear crawling up her throat. I know it because I feel it too.

We’ve suffered far too much trauma together, not to know that feeling. It’s something that’ll never go away, something that ties us together more tightly than affection, more than love. I know her wounds, and she knows mine, no matter how much I hide them, even from myself.

I kiss her head, holding her tight and close.

“Stay as you are.” Nel says, the whisper escaping her. “We’ll make it. A world where we can be safe. Away from the welfare officers and their lies. Away from the wild beasts. Away from everyone that would hurt us. Become strong enough for all of us. Strong enough that no one can ever hurt us ever again.”

I swallow the lump in my throat.

“I will.” I promise. The flickering flames in my heart warming just a little.

Adler gazes down at the fire in my hands, a frown twisting her lips. She wasn’t with us. She doesn’t understand, she probably never will. The darkness forms a long rift between us, but I don’t know what to do about it.

Eshya loudly shouts from where the soldiers are drinking, joining them in the celebrations. Vii is right by her side, the two of them bright and happy.

“What are we going to do about that new friend you’ve made?” Nel asks, waving towards the shadowy puddle that has stayed close to my side. The light barely even reflects off of its form.

I haven’t really figured out a name that fits, and while I’m sure with enough effort I could manage to make the bubbling sounds it uses to describe itself, I’d rather not spend days on end gargling just to try and speak in puddle.

“What is there to do?” I ask. “It’s one of mine now.”

For once Chip isn’t assigning it a gender, which is probably due to it being a freaking puddle that shapes itself into whatever it wants. That said, I’m leaning towards giving it a male name. I’ve somewhat surrounded myself with women, so I can at least pretend this evens things out.

It’s not as if it really makes a difference either way with how the translator functions.

“Luke, is going to behave himself, isn’t that right?” I ask the dark figure as he lifts himself into the shape of my reflection.

“Yes, I will do as asked. I will behave myself.” He says, rather uncertain of himself. If he misbehaves, I’ll see that he’s dealt with properly, but just the thought of one of my people hurting another strikes my heart through, a cold fire burning in the wound.

“That means that you’re not going to kill or hurt anyone, and you won’t damage or steal things.” I say. “You can go hang out with Shen if you’d like. Everyone likes Shen.”

“I will behave.” He repeats. “Please don’t make me go to the fire.”

“It’s fine, you don’t have to go anywhere you don’t want to.” I say. “If you’re willing though, I would like you to help us with our war a little later. We don’t have a game plan yet, but when we do…”

“I’ll help, yes.” He bows politely.

“It’s strange.” Nel whispers, “He’s using your face.”

“I guess he is. He’s free to it.” I say looking over the living oil. His face is contoured but lacking colour it’s difficult to really tell what he looks like. I guess Nel has better eyes than me.

“Kyra? Nel?” Alo says, approaching us, coming to a sharp stop when she sees our animal eared companion. “Adler? That’s… I thought you were a welfare… no, actually don’t say anything, I probably don’t want to know.” Alo says, the flowery girl bouncing in her steps as she approaches us, she’s carrying a spear with her.

“It was a surprise to see you here.” I say. “I was going to invite you, I got the feeling you wouldn’t want to come down here. The rules being rather absent down here.”

Even here the light touches her differently, the darkness keeping a distance as she smiles awkwardly.

“The rules?” she asks.

“About killing things.” I say. “And well, everything else. It’s lawless down here.”

“Oh, ah. Are things really like that down here?”

“You came down here not knowing?” I ask, turning to Nel, “You didn’t tell her?”

“She came as part of a bundle package.” Nel says. “A few older combat students with aspirations of greatness. They wonder the ruins saving people from the beasts, so I hired them to deal with a beast.”

“Is that where they came from?” I ask, looking at the gathered warriors. Nel was quick in gathering their help, and even though it didn’t end up being as desperate as it could’ve been, I do appreciate everything they’ve done.

“What are you doing down here?” Alo asks, her voice the soft and gentle kind, letting me know this is no interrogation.

“Making a home.” I say. “Finding somewhere safe, away from those who’d harm me and mine.” It just so happens that I need the power of a god to make that happen.

I glance down at Nel, she smiles back up at me.

Whatever it takes.

“A home?” Alo asks, a little confused.

“I don’t want to be a soldier in the Unified States army. If have to fight, it’ll be for something I believe in, or someone that I love.” I say, smiling down at my hands, the white fire still flickering. “It just so happens I have a lot of love, and a lot of people I need to protect.”

“I know it’s not perfect, but is the surface really that bad?” She asks, tilting her head cutely.

“If you fit in.” I say. “If you only think what you’re supposed to think, feel what your supposed to feel. If you can be what they want you to be, and not a thing more. If I stay on the surface, the welfare officers will kill me ‘for my own good’ and I’ll be served up for dinner.

“I just don’t get it. They’re almost comically evil, but all you people can see is the free fucking food.”

“Ah, sorry.” Alo says, backing down in confusion.

“Sorry, she’s just a little grumpy at the moment.” Nel says, stepping in for me. “She’s not wrong, but she shouldn’t have said it like that.”

I let out a long breath and stand up.

I don’t head towards the light. I’m not the only one sitting in the darkness.

“I see that there’s no parts to split.” The grumpy rebel says. The one who speaks up as if their leader, and honestly that’s 90% of what being a leader is, representing the group in conversation with foreign powers.

“Indeed.” I reply, feeling my frustrations fade away as I can embrace a familiar calm. An apathy that keeps my legs beneath me, and let’s me stand here like a true empress. “Rather unfortunate but it is what it is.”

“Yes. I’m sure you find it unfortunate that you had to destroy our main building too.” He grumbles.

“I do, but I’m sure something can be worked out.” I say. “I need access to your ship, teleporter, or whatever else it is that you’re using. Or at the very least I need to get some messages through to some people among the rebels.”

“Is that so?” He asks thoughtfully.

“It is.” I reply. “Ideally I’d also like a means to travel to my home world, if that’s possible.”

“That would be much more costly.” He says. “Travelling across space is an expensive endeavour, a message is one thing, but a trip that would offer us no purpose…”

“Understandable.” I reply. “Nel, what do we have that might make the trip worthwhile for these fine people.”

“We can assist in the reconstruction efforts here.” Nel starts, speaking light and easily. “We also have access to the resources of a wide cavern. We have a surplus of crystal mana grade resources.”

The rebel quiets, but we don’t intrude upon the void made in the silence and the dark.

“I think we should discuss specific numbers.” The rebel says. “It will still be a little under a month before it arrives.”

“We also want weapons.” I say, “We have a war to fight, and crystal grade beasts to hunt.”

“Yes, I’m sure they’ll prove useful.” Nel says, “What nature of parts are you most interested in. Parts that keep, I would suppose?”

The numbers game lasts much longer than the opening statements, and I find no place for me here. Nel, my love, is speaking a foreign language that even Chip can’t translate for me.

Gazing out into the darkness, I grip tight to the small flickering white flames in my hand. I need to make a home, safe for everyone I love. For that, I need to make something better than the Unified States. I need to push back the cruel grip of nature on our kind. I need to do what the gods have failed to do.

I’m probably going to fail, but I need to try.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Skills & Stats

~Mana Form:

Current mana density: 3920 units

~Mana distribution:

Defence: 40/99%

Offense: 20/94%

Mana sense: 40/100%

Recovery: 0/77%

Gluttony: 0/79%

Misc.: 0/93%

Efficiency: 100/100%

~Favourited Skills:

-Tag and Film

-Trapping

-Mana surge movement

-Annihilation defence

-Annihilation flame burst

-Annihilation net