2.4 Occupation

“Absolutely not,” Drake’s father said. Drake had just told his father about his deciding to join the Defense Militia. “Do you have any idea how dangerous it is to be a soldier?!? The Defense Militia will have to fight the deadly creatures out there. You’ve seen personally what they are capable of! They killed off everyone in the world basically overnight!”

Drake shook his head. “That was when we were unprepared. We didn’t know a thing about the enemy back then. The Defense Militia will train us in the knowledge and skills we need to kill those things. They wouldn’t just send us off on suicide missions. Our goals will be to scout the outside areas, cull the number of Mayhems nearby, gather resources, and rescue humans if the time comes.” These were the general things that the Defense Militia was supposed to do, but if any other unforeseen tasks came which required going outside the Walls, of course, the Militia was the most suited for the job.

Bill thought for a moment. “Alright. Let me ask you this: Whenever possible, will you avoid fighting Mayhems? If you see any Mayhems outside, will you try to run away from them, or fight them?”

Drake responded immediately. “Of course, I would fight them! Why else do you think I want to join the Defense Militia?!”

Bill had also seen the monsters when they mutated within the city. Although he thankfully didn’t see any death, he knew how scary Mayhems could be. “How can you want to confront those things?!? Do you not realize how scary they are?!?”

“Of course, I do! I’ve seen all the terrible things they’ve done first-hand!” Drake paused. “But… more than fear, I hate them. I hate them more than anything in the universe. And it’s because of everything they’ve done. All those innocent people were minding their own business, and then one night, these things come and destroy and kill everything and everyone without any reason… how can you not hate them?”

Drake’s father was dumbfounded. He doubted anyone in the world would think the way Drake was thinking. A minute or two passed, and neither father nor son looked at each other. Finally, Bill said, “You know, your friend Steve recently joined Dr. Lazzie’s team as a lab assistant. They’re researching the Mayhems to find out what caused them to mutate, and find any weaknesses. Everyone hates the Mayhems, but at the same time, they’re sensible enough not to fight them head-on. There are other ways to help fight them. If Dr. Lazzie’s team finds something useful, that’ll contribute to stopping the Mayhems. Maybe not directly by killing them, but we’d be one step closer to figuring all this out…” Bill would have preferred if Drake and others contribute to helping humanity rebuild, secure supplies, and ensure the city’s safety, rather than focus on defeating an endless number of Mayhems already. He was a peaceable man and didn’t like using violence or force unless it was absolutely necessary. However, he thought it would be best for him and Drake to reach a compromise here. He was quite liberal in his parenting and didn’t want to force his son to do anything. That was why he asked if Drake would be focused on killing Mayhems, and when he said no, showed that there were other ways to ‘fight’ them.

Drake closed his eyes. “When I left Beil, I swore to take revenge and kill every last Mayhem.” He had said it with such determination back then, and he still felt that way.

“I obviously can’t do that now that I know there are billions of them,” He also remembered what he’d said to Steve in Cyll about fighting till his death. He was no longer in a life-or-death situation, but he thought that there was nothing left for him in a life like this in Rencia. It was not one he would want to live. And so, choosing to fight heroically until his death seemed a better option. “but I want to fight until my dying breath, and stick to my belief, rather than sit in this city and cry.”

Bill could understand what Drake was thinking, but was still hesitant to basically send his son to his probable death. But convincing him that it would be dangerous didn’t seem to work out. He bit his lip. “…I understand, but… can’t you wait a few years?” In that amount of time, Bill figured that Rencia would be able to develop safer and more effective ways to kill or pacify the Mayhems. In the best case, they could perhaps even reverse the mutation and turn them back into animals.

“Still this?” Drake didn’t understand why his father wouldn’t honor his wishes to avenge those who had died. “I don’t think I can wait that long with this hatred built up inside me.” He looked at his father in the eyes. “Dad, I know you’re worried about what can happen to me, but you haven’t seen what I have.” He looked through his bad memories. “Those things, they destroyed Beil. They terrorized Cyll. I saw it all. The neighbors and all those people I knew dying, everyone in the city fleeing for their lives, our home being destroyed. You know,” he said, grief-stricken, “when mom died, it was because of me. I was too distracted and dazed from the Mayhems that had come out of the woods, that I didn’t see one that was about to attack me from behind. Mom pushed me aside and took my place in the Crow’s mouth.”

Bill felt bad and didn’t know what to say. He didn’t blame Drake.

Drake continued with a quivering voice, “The funny thing is that earlier that night, we were fighting. Mom was worrying about how I wasn’t going to school. I didn’t care and argued with her. They were such stupid arguments to not go to school. While in reality, I was just being lazy and rebellious. It was so stupid of me… And later, I found a young girl named Billie. I promised to protect her and take her to safety, but along our way to Cyll, she was killed by a spider because I wasn’t paying attention to my surroundings…” Drake looked down, wanting to cry, “You wouldn’t understand the feeling of having someone precious or someone who trusts you die right in front of your eyes.”

“I do,” Bill said. His eyes and tone told Drake that he was fully serious.

Drake was never told about this. Of course, Drake’s mother was loved by both of them, but Bill didn’t see her die in front of him. Then who did die in front of him? Drake remembered that his grandparents had died before he was born. Could it have been them?

“Then you should understand how I feel. When Mom and Billie died, all I did was run. I ran all night from every problem I faced. They died because I was too powerless. I hate the Mayhems, but I also hate myself for letting them die. I don’t want to continue to feel weak. I want to kill the Mayhems, get revenge, and get over this terrible feeling of powerlessness… I’m tired of running!”

“Sheesh,” Bill said after a while. “When you put it like that, I can’t stop you.” He rubbed his eyes, feeling desperate. He was unable to convince his son of anything to stop him, and he couldn’t do anything else. He gave up. “Go ahead and join the Defense Militia. But be careful, please. I just… don’t want to see anything bad happen to you, nor see you fall into this bottomless pit that I had once been through.” Drake was confused by what he meant in the second part of the sentence, but he didn’t ask, satisfied that he got his father’s permission to join the Militia, if it could be called permission in the first place.

He thanked his father and left to apply for the job at the City Registry.

Bill brushed his hair back with his fingers. His palm rested on his forehead, typically a sign of stress. He let out a big sigh and looked upwards sadly. “If only you were here, Emma. You were always the better parent.” He knew that in the end, Drake would probably turn out alright, but he didn’t want to see his son going through what he had been through, nor did he want to see his son get killed by a Mayhem in the process. This was too painful to watch. “What am I going to do with this kid…?”