Piggy In The Middle

“Go home! Or just go away!"

"You know I can't do that."

"I know you can because you don't care!"

“I just asked a question! That doesn’t mean I don’t care!”

“Your question shows you don’t care at all! Now, go away!”

Aria and I have been stuck in a loop for a while saying those things to each other. Not exactly with the same wording, but still similar in meaning.

Well, except, the “go away” parts - that she was trying to make clear.

Simply asking why she thought we were lovers made her quite moody for reasons that I did not understand. But, the fact is, that was what made her snap at me.

At the same time, the boar’s attacks continued as Aria and I argued. Each round, we would say one thing to each other then, like clockwork, the beast would rush at me, trying to stomp at me, kick me, hit me with its tusk, whathaveyou. Each time, I was able to evade so both the argument with Aria and the fight with the sacred beast continued on for a while.

However, with all that movement the giant boar is making, Aria was being wildly swung around as a consequence of the boar using its head as its main weapon. Due to this, the longer the fight continued, the more she appeared dizzy and groggy. She even started vomiting, likely due to motion sickness.

Although the sight of her retching while throwing a tantrum makes her comically appear like a mopey drunk, I couldn’t laugh since I was just told I had similar tendencies when actually intoxicated the other day. Not only that, but it was a cause for concern; she was likely at her physical limits.

To make matters worse, I was also at my limit. I was tired from running and dodging non-stop.

I need to make a move and fast.

However, it’s not going to be easy. I wasn’t just playing around dodging the giant boar’s attacks all this time. I was observing its attack patterns. From what I’ve seen, the only chance I have of grabbing Aria from its mouth is when it tries to lower its head and hit me with its tusks, which makes her reachable from the ground.

But, it doesn’t use that attack often. It was smart. It likely realized I was able to dodge its tusks easily.

I also noticed it doesn’t try to use its tusks when the militia is in formation, it only tries to run them over, so I asked them to step aside for the moment. It took some convincing, however. Their commander, the sheriff of the village, told me not to be a hero, but they obliged after I explained to him my reasons and my plans.

Or, rather, the sheriff told the others to step aside. He stayed right beside me after telling some of the men to make preparations for my scheme.

I told him to stay away, too, but he told me “You know, in those stories you admire so much, the heroes aren’t always alone.”

Basically, he was telling me to let him help. His argument was convincing, but he was already close to sixty years of age. I wasn’t sure if his reflexes would be quick enough for the task.

I raised my concern to him, but he just brushed it off.

“Hah!” he exclaimed. Then proudly said “I’m still at the prime of my life!”

I was not sure if it was a bluff, but his conviction gave me enough confidence in him.

“Just don’t die, old man”, I told him.

Aria saw me pair up with the sheriff and shouted for me to go away again.

“Now that the sheriff is here, you’re no longer needed!” she said, harshly. “Then, after he rescues me, maybe I’ll marry him instead of you!”

I wasn’t sure how to react to that. The sheriff already has a grandchild on the way. I wasn’t sure if the rain or her tears fogged up her vision and mistook him for a young man, but surely she knew who this man was. Was she planning to be a homewrecker of a family with three generations?

The sheriff reacted by laughing boisterously. He didn’t seem to have minded Aria’s comment.

“Quite a spat you two have there”, he said. “Don’t worry, I’ve been there before, you two will be fine once you talk it out.”

I was unable to say something back as the boar charged at us.

However, his advice was sound. Not in relation to the boar, but with Aria. I also wanted to break the impasse we found ourselves in.

I need to progress our conversation out of the loop of her just telling me to go away. Not just because I need her to calm down, but also because I want to understand why she has been angry at me for the past few days.

“Aria!” I called out to her.

She didn’t answer. She just finished another round of vomit so she probably didn’t feel like shouting at me for the moment.

“I know we were lovers before you left”, I said, but was cut off when I had to dodge the boar’s next attack.

“But, it’s been six years since we’ve seen each other and I didn’t know if we were still lovers.”

“You said your feelings won’t change even when we’re apart!” she rebuked.

Meanwhile, the boar attacked again. This time, it tried stomping at us in quick succession. Or, rather, just at me for some reason. It was ignoring the sheriff.

Seeing this, the sheriff, who had evaded to the side of the boar, poked it with his spear. I say “poke” because its skin didn’t seem to have gotten pierced. I wasn’t sure how much damage it did, but it was enough to make the beast retreat for now.

“But, you’ve stopped sending me letters, what was I supposed to think about it?” I said as I prepared for the boar to attack again.

“Liar! I never stopped mailing you letters!” Aria chided.

Then came the boar with its head lowered, about to attack the sheriff and I with its tusks. It was the moment we’ve been waiting for.

However, just before it made contact, the beast swung its head towards me, which caused me to jump to the side. The sheriff, who was on the other side, was unable to reach Aria as she was swung towards my direction due to the boar’s action. I could have grabbed her, but I was unable to recover quickly from evading the attack.

That round wasn’t meant to be.

Meanwhile, Aria continued with the argument.

“You were the one who stopped writing to me!” she stated.

But, I was unable to reply as the giant boar did not create some distance between us after the last attack. It faced me then started kicking at me with its front leg.

Reflexively, I decided to jump at its kicking leg and hold on to it. I gave that action no thought and actually had no plan on what I should be doing next.

As I clung on to the giant leg, I heard Aria say “Despite not receiving any more replies, I still continued writing to you!”

“Do you know what it feels like waiting for letters that never came?” she asked.

I know all too well, actually, but I couldn’t tell her that as I was busy clinging on to dear life on the giant boar’s hairy leg as it tries to shake me off.

“When I stopped receiving letters from you two years ago, you were already going on your expeditions!”

“I was worried you were dead, you know?!”

“But, now that I was finally allowed to leave the academy to visit, I find you alive and well and clearly have forgotten about me!”

I was only able to listen. The boar relentlessly tried shaking me off as Aria went on with her rant. I heard it all, however. Although, I was not happy that it feels like I’m the only one to blame with how our relationship turned out.

But, I had to put my grievances aside for now. The priority is still rescuing Aria from the boar’s clutches - or, its mouth, to be specific.

Fortunately, the boar’s attempts to shake me off its leg gave me an idea. I moved towards the inside of its leg, looking to see if I could pull it off. If the angles were right, I could leap towards Aria and pull her down from the beast’s mouth.

I waited for the right timing. When I saw the right opportunity, I jumped and I managed to grab Aria by her sideways by her torso.

However, it did not work as I had imagined. I was hoping that the momentum of my jump and the combination of our weights would pull Aria from the boar’s grip, but the two of us remained in suspension.

“Get off of me!” Aria protested almost immediately as she tried to shove me off.

“I’ll get off of you when I get you off from this beast’s stinking mouth!”

One consequence of this action is becoming close to the giant boar’s mouth and it was pretty foul smelling.

“You’re heavy!” she complains, almost understandably so. As there was no foothold to where I jumped, I was only able to cling to Aria’s cloak so I wouldn’t fall. I can only imagine how much load her shoulders were carrying.

“Let go!” she protested again. “You’re stretching my coat!”

“Is this really the time to be concerned about a piece of clothing?!” This time, it was my turn to react angrily.

“It’s my favorite!” she claimed, bafflingly.

It was then I realized that she probably strengthened her coat with magic. In hindsight, the coat she was wearing should have been torn a long time ago due to all the swinging Aria was subjected to. Not to mention, ever since I grabbed hold of Aria, the boar was thrashing about to shake me off. However, the collar or any other part did not seem to have any damage at all.

I also realized she wasn’t burdened by me at all. It was the boar’s teeth that were counteracting my weight. She just wanted me off.

Even worse, she could have taken the coat off to escape...

I grabbed the dagger from my belt, which still had the effect of canceling out magical traps. I wasn’t really thinking if it would work on a different magic spell, but I threw it anyway to try and tear the collar to get us away from the boar’s mouth.

Luckily, it worked. Although, the danger was not over yet. The boar was swinging us around so, when we were able to cut loose, we were launched into the air due to the momentum.

"You ruined my coat!" Aria complained as we were midair, but I ignored her.

We landed on a thatched roof of a nearby house then through it. Fortunately, the roof slowed our descent so our landing wasn’t fatal, especially for me as I came between Aria and the house’s wooden floor.

Still, it was pretty painful. I winced as my hips and lower back felt sore. I just hope I didn’t break something.

As I lay on the floor, Aria, who seemed fine, took my collar and started to violently shake me.

“Erik, don’t die!” she said with worry on her face and panic in her voice. “Oh god, please don’t be dead.”

I groaned from the pain caused by the excessive movement and told her “I will be if you keep shaking me.”

“Oh thank god”, she cried from relief as she released her grip on me.

“I thought you were mad at me?” I commented as I stayed on the floor. It felt like an opportune moment to rest while we were inside the empty house. The inhabitants must have evacuated already.

“I am! I still am! But, that doesn’t mean I don’t c- that doesn’t mean I want you dead!” Aria replied.

“Then, can’t you heal me with magic or something? At least something to make the pain go away temporarily.”

“I’m sorry, but I’m not adept at healing magic.”

“Tough”, I said. It seems I have to wait for the pain to subside before getting up. I don’t blame Aria, however.

“I’m curious, though. Why didn’t you use magic to escape the giant boar?”

“I’m not adept at attacking magic either.”

“I see.”

I’m not sure what was going through her head, but I closed my eyes after that to rest for a bit and she started shaking me again.

“Don’t fall asleep!” she cried. “Don’t die on me!”

“I’m not going to die!” I rebuked her as I sat up. “I just closed my eyes for a bit!”

“Don’t do things that could be easily misunderstood then”, she said, pouting that she got scolded for being worried.

“I don’t understand you. Earlier, you were just being angry at me.”

“Like I said, that doesn’t mean I want to see you dead.”

Then, breaking from the current topic to continue what we were talking about earlier, I told her “The last letter I received from you was from three years ago.”

“That again?” she said, now seemingly annoyed. Her worried expression had gone so quickly and the air started to become tense in the damaged house. “If you didn’t hear me earlier, I never stopped writing to you.”

From then on, our conversation sounded hostile again, like the one before we landed into this house.

“I heard you, but the fact is I never received another letter from you after that one telling me you were going to send me some small box.”

“And? Did you receive that box? Were you able to open it?”

“I did, but I was unable to open it as it was sealed shut.”

“That came with a letter containing the instructions to open it.”

“The last thing I received from you was that box and that box only.”

“What do you mean? That came with a letter.”

“Well, I didn’t receive it.”

“That’s impossible! I made sure the letter was securely in…”

Then, she paused, looking like she just received some sort of epiphany.

I stared at Aria for a moment, waiting for her to continue her thought. But, all I found was her expression slowly transforming from a scowl to a nervous smile.

Wordlessly, she stood up then headed for the door.

“Hey”, I said to get her attention.

She stopped just before the door and looked back at me.

“Let’s go”, she said. “You still have to deal with that giant boar, right? I’ll help.”

I don’t know what brought that sudden attitude change on, but she wasn’t wrong to suggest that the crisis of having a rampaging sacred beast in the village should take priority.

“Alright”, I said as I stood up trying to forget the argument from earlier and the pain from the fall to follow her.

She was right that the boar still has to be dealt with. Although, I was kind of hoping the sheriff and the rest of the militia was able to deal with it themselves before we got there since my buttocks were still sore.