2.18: So long, for now

“……Cecily, wake up…” Lune said, lifting my bed’s sheets.

“…Don’t wanna.” I answered as I pulled them back.

“They found him… The funeral will commence in a couple hours, get dressed and let’s go eat something at the dining hall.”

He didn’t seem to listen to my whining at all. I guess it makes sense, Lune was Carter’s friend, too. He was also the last person to s-see him… alive.

I started sobbing after thinking about him.

“…I guess you’re still not mentally ready yet. I wouldn’t blame you, we’re all depressed, but you should at least visit when the ceremony gets held.”

He was quiet, and didn’t force the issue at all. He really is considerate of me, but I don’t know how to handle this situation anymore. Carter was the sole reason I had us move from Zacharis to here. And now that he’s gone… I don’t even have a reason to take over Great Hiana's underworld anymore…

“Bwah! Ugu, uwaaaah!” the baby suddenly woke up crying.

“What’s the matter, Nelly?” Lune picked her up, “Hungry? I’m not sure if we have any baby food in the shelves, but I can get you some milk in a bottle.” He said, nestling her in his arms.

“Since when we’re you so good at taking care of kids?” I asked, trying to steer away from the topic of Carter.

“I’m nothing special. Feeding her and putting her to sleep is about all I can do. Cleaning her is still a touchy subject, and God forbid I have to change her diapers!” He joked.

He was always good at making me laugh, even when I didn’t feel like it. I guess that’s his talent. From how Lune explained the situation yesterday, Carter entered the building to save this baby, who was left alone to die. I know it’s not her fault, but I can’t help but blame her for Carter’s death. If only she wasn't there... Lune was acting strange as well, not wanting to give away too much information about the whole ordeal. He’d just stay quiet, and if someone pressured him any more than he could take, he’d just murmur It’s too gruesome for me to tell you.

“So what do you say?” Lune asked again, “Wanna head out to the dining hall, grab a bite to eat? You need some energy in your system to deal with the shock.”

“…I’ll head out later. I wanna sleep some more…” I said, covering myself fully under the sheets.

I didn’t get to see his expression, but I did hear him sigh and leave the room.

I just want… to see my little brother…!

And with that, I cried myself to sleep once again…

***

“……is…Sis’!” He yelled to get my attention.

“Carter?! B-But you’re…?” I asked, genuinely confused.

“Th’ hell are ya’ murmurin’, sis’? We’re fightin’ those Great Hianic fucks for their territory n’ you’re dozin’ off?” he reprimanded me.

“O-Oh, right… I just had the weirdest dream. It was our birthday, then some Neo Urbana members attacked us, and you were… N-Never mind, let’s get ‘em!” I said, finally remembering what I was doing.

We’re fighting The Great Hianics Gang so we can expand ARA’s territory. Lune told us to be careful, since he had to defend The Base from their attacks, as we had to be separated to attack theirs.

“Carter! I’ve got your back, just keep knocking them out!” I said, pulling my knife out.

“Atta’ girl, sis’! With the two ‘f us, we’re unstoppable!”

Those words made me tear up, but I’m not sure why, though.

Carter’s still alive, but how? And if that’s the case, where’s Nelly? But wait, the battle against The Great Hianics happened a couple months ago, so why now…?

“Sis! Help me!” Carter suddenly screamed out.

“Carter?!? What’re you doing over there?!?” I shouted back as I saw the burning building from yesterday suddenly start to manifest.

“Cecily! Help me lift Carter up!” Lune suddenly appeared next to me.

Before I realized it, I was suddenly put in a scary situation. All three of us were on the balcony of the burning building, and Carter was hanging off a ledge.

“1, 2, 3… Hup!” We counted as we lifted Carter up.

“Thanks… WHOA, LOOK OUT!” Carter said, pushing me away from a stray beam that fell from the ceiling.

“Carter! Fuck! C’mere, Cecily, and you too, dumbass!” He went to lift both of us up.

What’s going on?

Just then, I noticed Carter’s condition, his head was split open…!

“Fuck! This is bad, this is bad, this is bad! No wait! You’ll probably be fine! Yeah! I just gotta get you to Ed! He’ll fix you up in a jiff!” Lune coped after noticing the same thing.

Carter soon woke up, though, so maybe he’s fine after all...?

“…… Ugh… Whuh?” Carter slowly started to wake up. “Where… Am I?”

Lune explained to him how we're in a burning building, and assured him we’ll all make it out of here alive and well. Something about his tone didn’t quite make his words sound all too believable, though…

“That’s all well n’ good,” Carter said, “but I can’t feel a single muscle. Sumthin’ ‘bout my head’s making me feel like it’s split wide open!”

He went to touch his wound, where I think I even saw a bit of his brain stick out, but I quickly stopped him.

“D-Don’t touch it! It’ll leave a cool scar, so wouldn’t want you messing with it while it’s healing! Haha!…” I tried making an excuse as fast as I could.

Lune gave me a hidden thumbs up as he rearranged Carter back on his shoulders.

“But then… How’re we gonna get out of here if Carter can’t move?” He asked.

“There’s a way… That there door… It leads to a stairwell. You two can easily jump the gap…” Carter suggested something stupid.

“We can’t-” Lune suddenly interrupted me midway through my sentence, “My ass! Quit your bullshit and let’s think about a real way out!” he said.

“Nah… Thing is… If there was a way, I’d menchin’ it… But it’s either you two make it outta here, or none of us do…”

I had enough of hearing him spout this nonsense, so I suggested an idea to them myself.

“Lune, give me one of Carter’s shoulders, we’ll jump with him!” I said.

“Sis’… give up, yain’t gonna make it like that…” he tried criticizing my idea.

“I don’t care! It’s either we all make it out alive, or none of us do!” I screamed back at him.

Lune agreed, and so with a run up we accelerated towards the gap and…!

*thump*

“Heh, heheh… In your face, Lil’ Bro!” I said smugly, “Told ya’ we’d make it!”

“I guess…” he said as he went unconscious.

“Carter? Carter!?” Lune started panicking.

“He’s still alive, he’s just out cold from inhaling too much smoke! Let’s get him out of here quickly!”

And with that, all three of us survived the burning building…

***

As we made our way out of the house, we delivered first aid to him, bandaging his head and letting him take in some fresh air.

“Cough, cough! Whuh…?” He opened his eyes slowly.

“Carter! You’re alive!” We screamed out in joy.

“… Carter? Who’s that?” He said the word’s we least wanted to hear.

“D-Don’t worry about it! Let’s just get you back home, you’re probably still just a bit dizzy from inhaling all that smoke!” Lune said, as if reassuring himself first and foremost.

We rallied up our gang members and quickly prepared a makeshift stretcher for Carter as we ran to the base.

“Grim! Cecily! And… Carter?!?!” Ed shouted out in horror upon seeing this gruesome sight.

“Can you treat him, Ed?” Lune suddenly spoke up.

“I-I can try… But his condition doesn’t look too good…!” Ed said, holding back tears.

“Then let’s hurry!” I interrupted him.

Just like that, basically the entire gang was waiting to hear the news about Carter's condition as the Medical Squad began the operation. While I say operation, very few of them are actually professionally trained in the art of medicine, so it was basically a slightly better version of our on-field first aid… The next few hours we sat there waiting felt like three eternities mixed into one giant cluster. I didn’t know whether to cry or reassure Lune or just get angry at Carter for entering that building at all!

Wait… Why did he enter the building in the first place? Last time, it was to save Nelly, but… did he not save her in time this time?

As I pondered this, Lune was freaking out next to me.

“It’s all the same!” he finally snapped as he turned to me, “Even when you were there, he’s still in this condition!”

“Lune? You knew about the previou-” before I could finish my sentence, the doors of the operation room opened.

I looked over at Lune to see his reaction, but he was nowhere to be found…

“Ed, how’s Carter?” I asked, holding my breath as I awaited the answer.

“Cecily… We did our best, but his injuries were too severe… We couldn’t-” I heard a head piercing scream before blacking out.

I awoke once again in a white room, this time with nothing inside it but Carter himself.

“Do ya' get it now, Sis’?” he asked me, “No matter what ya’ change, the situaishin’ would always turn out the same.”

“But… There had to have been a way for you to be saved that day!” I begged him for an answer to my somewhat rhetorical question.

“Maybe…” he said, turning his gaze to the side, “But if ya’ get stuck on tha’ past, yain’t ever gonna move forward!”

His hearty laugh made me a bit nostalgic, and sad at the same time… My little brother is gone, and he’s never coming back… But it was thanks to his sacrifice that Nelly lives on in the real world, unlike this dream world, where Carter died for nothing…

“See? Now yer’ gettin’ it!” He praised me, “Listen… This ain’t a goodbye. This is only a So long for now, y’hear? Just like in our battle strategy, I’ll be the vanguard headin’ into the afterlife first, you guys’ll go a bit behind me, clearin’ tha’ way and gatherin’ as much info on this world as ya’ can!”

“Yeah…” I said, wiping my tears away, “by the way, why Nelly of all things?” I asked out of curiosity.

“Heheh… You’ll get it eventually… Tell Lune to brainstorm it witcha’, and tell Ed I said hi…” He said, fading out into the whiteness around us.

***

I woke up with a single tear in my eye. I felt warm, I didn’t feel a tinge of loneliness at all, like he was still there with me even now. I quickly checked the time and started getting dressed as fast as possible.

I almost overslept the ceremony…!

Running until my life depended on it, I made my way to the graveyard, where everyone was waiting for the casket to be lowered.

“Cecily! You made it in time! But, you might not want to look at this…” Lune tried hiding Carter's body from me.

“I don’t care! Carter is my brother! No matter how burnt he is, no matter how much of a gash formed on his head! He will always…be…my…little…brother!” I shouted out to everyone as I took a look at him, laying peacefully, without even an ounce of regret for his actions.

“He doesn’t look disfigured at all…! In fact, he looks like a hero to me… A hero who didn’t hesitate to enter a burning building and save a little girl from succumbing to a fate he faced in her stead!” I started my speech, “I’m sure there isn’t a reality where Carter didn’t enter this building, and I’m sure that no matter what we would’ve done differently, things would ultimately end up the same.”

I looked over at Lune as I spoke out those words, but I wasn’t sure why exactly. He looked at me with wide open eyes as he quickly started breaking down from the emotional turmoil of this past day. Looks like he took the brunt of the trauma for me…

“Carter has passed," I continued, " but he still lives on… In Nelly, and in all of us who remember his memory. We’re gang members, first and foremost. Death is something we’re well acquainted with. First the previous Generals of BBG, then General Jean of TBL, and now General Carter of ARA. But we stand proud knowing how much they did for the gang, and if we just stand there and weep for them instead of taking revenge on those Neo Urbana bastards who did this to him, then Carter would’ve died in vain, goddamn it!”

At that last part I added a lot of my subjective feelings, but it did the job, as everyone cheered on, more motivated to take over Great Hiana’s underworld and set things right now more than ever before.

There, Dear Brother… I accepted your death for now… I’ll live on for your sake, of course, and I’ll take care of Nelly, too… She is your legacy, and one day, when she’s old enough to understand the story of how a cool Big Bro saved her in exchange for his own life, I’ll be sure to tell her all about you…

So long, for now, Carter…