XXXV

“Good morning,” I said as brightly as I could manage as I stepped into the dining room to find Amanda sitting at the table reading the paper. She glanced up, her amber eyes capturing me immediately.

“Ah, good morning to you, Akari,” she replied, gesturing to a bowl of mixed fruit sitting a short distance from her. “I made you breakfast. We have to keep you fit and in dancing shape, right?” I bowed in gratitude and sat on the chair, glancing around curiously.

“Where’s Rei?” I asked curiously.

“You don’t know, either?” Amanda asked, confusion spreading across her face. “She came down this morning and seemed agitated. I asked her what the issue was but she just walked past me and left, taking the old Honda I have for emergencies. I was hoping she’d talked to you about where she was going. It’s very unlike her.”

“Sh-She seemed fine,” I stammered, confused. She was fine. What could possibly have happened to make her leave without saying anything?

“Well, I’m sure she’ll be fine,” Amanda said after a moment. “Perhaps she just needed something from the store. It’s ok, Nobuo has asked to take you on a walk in the garden. What do you think?”

“I-I’m not really comfortable with being alone with him,” I said.

“Not to worry, my dear, I’ll be right here in the dining room. I have the news to read and then some work to attend to,” Amanda replied breezily. “I’ll make sure you’re safe.”

“Um…still, I would rather wait for Rei to come back if that’s all right,” I said after a moment. I saw her eyes flare in anger for a brief moment, the sight bringing up a knot of dread in my stomach for some reason. Her face remained neutral for a long moment before her smile returned.

“My dear Akari,” She soothed. “I understand your reluctance and I know you’ve become quite attached to Rei, but Nobuo has traveled all the way here and taken off work at considerable hardship just to visit with you. I think it would be terribly rude of you to brush his kindness aside, don’t you? He simply wants to walk with you in the garden is all, is that any reason to be hostile?”

“I-I wasn’t trying to be hostile,” I stammered.

“Dear, you are here to recover and recuperate and get a semblance of your old life back without the stress and strain the ungrateful ‘friends’ you thought you had brought upon you by riding on your talent to success,” Amanda said with a smile.

“They are my friends!” I protested. Once more the anger flared in her eyes.

“I dislike being interrupted, Akari,” She said, biting off her words. I shrunk back for a moment before the anger drained from her eyes and her smile returned. “I just think part of that recovery should include stepping out of your comfort zone a bit. Don’t worry; I’ll be here if anything happens. Show some gratitude, dear, and do this for your fiancée. It’s a simple thing, after all.”

“O-Ok,” I replied shakily.

“There’s a good girl,” Amanda said with a smile. “Ah, speak of the devil! How are you this morning, Nobuo?”

“I’m well, Amanda, and you?” Nobuo said as he strode into the room, wearing a pair of black trousers with a bright red shirt.

“I’m well also, Nobuo. I was just discussing your idea of going on a walk with Akari here and she thinks it’s a good opportunity to get reacquainted as well, right?” Amanda directed this last at me. I smiled noncommittally and bowed slightly. No, I thought to myself. I did not think it was a good opportunity. In fact, I wanted no opportunity to get to know him. I had no interest in discovering some long lost feeling I supposedly had for this person. If, in fact, I had known him at some point I was no longer the same person and any feelings the other me had held were no longer feelings I had.

There was, however, something gnawing at me. A fear that seemed to be permeating my entire being like an infection was growing in my heart. Fear of Amanda’s voice and her actions and, most specifically, her anger. This was a fear that was achingly familiar somehow and it paralyzed me like a kitten grabbed by the nape of the neck, helpless to do anything but dangle with my mouth open and my tongue lolling uselessly.

“Then let’s finish breakfast and take a walk,” Nobuo said with what I could only assume he felt was a winning smile. I bowed my head slightly in reluctant agreement but could not bring myself to smile. I cast a sidelong glance at Amanda from beneath my hair and she seemed smugly pleased by my silent acceptance. I suddenly experienced disgust with myself welling within me and felt like I was nothing more than a puppet waiting to be strung up and made to move or thrown into a closet and forgotten at her whim. I both hated and feared the sensation.