We are Gathered Here in Greenview...

The Peacetree Motel is located in the northern suburb of Greenview, ideally located ten minutes away from some of the major attractions of the “village”. Greenview is classified as a "village", but with a population of over 70,000 people (I looked it up) it’s definitely a small city. I found it online when I was looking for a place to stay during an anime convention taking place nearby a few years ago but I ended up picking a place that was much closer to the event. Good thing, too - Peacetree was a good 45 minutes away and the bus that would get me there only ran every half an hour! Not an ideal situation when you’re trying to get in line for events that draw a ton of people.

That said, I never forgot about Peacetree. I can’t explain it, but I felt drawn to the small hotel meant to attract tourists and locals looking to have a staycation on a budget. It looked more like one of those Victorian houses rather than some brick and mortar hotel, with each room supplied with a mini fridge and a microwave so you didn’t have to eat out all the time. I bit the bullet and I booked a weekend stay there for my birthday (and to get away from my mother for a bit). I’m so glad that I did. The room was nice and spacious, warm with orange and cream tones, and its location near not one but two big box stores that you can go to for food and snacks couldn’t be beat.

And studio photos, clothing, tools, garden accessories, and other random things. But that’s beside the point.

It was very apt that the hotel was called “Peacetree” because that’s how I felt the moment I made it to Greenview - peaceful. Greenview was a sweet mix of rural and suburban. The residential areas featured spacious condos and apartments as well as houses with manicured front lawns and at least two cars in every driveway. A lot of corporate businesses had headquarters here and all their tall, sleek, and shiny buildings stood in the center of town, in the business district. Greenview had a ton of great places for shopping as well.

The crown jewel was the Mayfair Shopping District, which featured a massive shopping mall and an even bigger entertainment complex. Mayfair was the largest mall in the area, maybe even one of the largest malls in the nation. I mean, it must be – there’s an entire park area on the roof of the mall! Like with benches and fountains and stuff. The entertainment complex is just as ridiculous. It’s sprawling with a ton of restaurants and big box stores, an arcade/bar, and a large movie theater with stadium seating, and a huge parking lot with a parking garage that always looked packed to the brim with cars. Weekends were always booked and busy, people moving between stores and restaurants, crowds bustling out of the movie theater, only to pack into the arcade right next to it. It was the place to go for people looking for a good time, no matter the day.

Peacetree quickly became my go-to place whenever my homelife became too overwhelming. Which was all the time, living with my mother. My home life was unbearable. Like an elephant-sitting-on-top-of-your-chest levels of unbearable. My mother and I have never had a good relationship. One of my aunt’s said that one of the worst moments in my mother's life was when I came home from the hospital. She was brought to the brink of a nervous breakdown because I wouldn’t stop crying, no matter what she or anyone else did.

Even as a newborn, I knew that my life would never be pleasant.

I couldn't summon any good memories of life with my mother. They were all overshadowed by memories of hurtful words, unjust punishments, and being chosen over whatever boytoy she paid attention to at the time. Peacetree was my way to escaping that misery, if only for a little while. It gave me the time and space to breathe.

The last six months before that fateful weekend were especially hard. Catastrophic, even. My mother lost her job as a nursing assistant at a local hospital. When asked for the reason, she said, and I quote, "it's her fault - that new supervisor who is a total ass". I knew that wasn’t true. My mother was never what you’d call a model worker. She only did the bare minimum and somehow got away with it until now. If it were up to her, she'd have never worked in the first place. She believed with her whole chest that she wasn't meant for that kind of life, that she’d much rather have a man take care of all her physical and financial needs.

Rather than dust herself off and find another job, she expected (and demanded) that I work harder to hold down the fort. I was to pay for everything and keep us afloat and there would be consequences if I complained. In the meantime, she'd get to go out and do everything other than finding a new job. Whenever I tried to air my concerns, she’d yell at me, accused me of being a selfish daughter who owed her for all the time she spent raising me and that I didn’t love her enough. I didn’t want to fight with her – she’d just turn the rest of the family against me if I did and I didn’t need that stress – so I kept quiet and did as I was told.

But I wasn't okay. I hated my job but every attempt to find something better lead nowhere. As a result, I was stuck and I was suffering. Overtime and extra shifts I worked to keep us afloat took their toll on my body. One illness after another, no relief in sight. My mother didn't care. She used words and hands to force me to get back to work and keep the money flowing. The rest of my family was firmly in my mother's corner. I’d get text messages from them, never asking me how I was or if I needed anything, but always scolding me for upsetting my mother.

But in that cozy motel room, I didn't have to be the long-suffering daughter of Rosalie Winters. Within those walls, I was Nicola Winters, a twenty-eight years old woman spending time alone in one of her favorite places in the world and doing whatever the hell she wanted without a care in the world. I could just relax and be myself. With my phone turned off, no one, especially my mother, had access to me.

In that beautiful suburb up north, I was all alone, but never lonely. I was at peace.

Sometimes, if the stars aligned, I’d meet up with Cam. He was my best friend, my only friend, but with a friend like him, he was all that I needed. We’d meet up at the nearby Japanese marketplace for a cheap meal or we’d go to a nearby restaurant and talk for hours. The visits were few and far between - if he wasn’t busy with family obligations, he’d been building up his own company brick by brick - but when we did, it was a breath of fresh air. If visiting Peacetree eased my burdens, then Cam’s smile erased them.

I never wanted to leave. When the time came, I was inconsolable.I didn't want to go back to that hellhole that was my home life. As I boarded the bus home, I silently prayed that one day soon, I would flee from my mother and she’d never find me, no matter how hard she tried. I hoped beyond hope that the next time I came here, it would be me coming home to somewhere that’s green.

I never believed it would happen. Until one day, it did.

*---*---*

Pack up my suitcase quickly. Flee my dysfunctional household. Make my way to Greenview for a weekend stay at the Peacetree Motel. Turn off my phone so my mother can’t reach me. Relax.

At least, that was the plan when I rushed out the house that fateful weekend - the weekend that changed everything.

That Friday when I took my suitcase and made my way out to Greenview, my mother and I had a terrible fight. Probably the worst we’ve had. I’d just come home from another rough day at work. I was fed up with being her doormat. I reached my limit. But that woman was never good at reading the room, especially when it came to me. She wasted no time demanding that I make her dinner and clean the living room once I finished that. It was the straw that broke my back. I was sick of her sniping and her passive aggressive comments. I was sick of her.

I lost it. Told her what I really thought of her.

“Here’s a thought? Why don’t you get your lazy ass off your bed and clean the living room yourself? This is your house, too, remember? If you don’t like how it looks, do something about it!”

Of course, she didn’t like that.

She wasted no time getting in my face, snarling at me to shut up and do what I was told. “You ungrateful little brat! Don’t you talk to your mother like that! This is my house and you’ll do what I tell you to do!”

“If you don’t give a crap about my physical and mental health, then why should I give a crap about your dinner or your living room? You’re a grown woman, right? Start acting like one!”

“Watch your damn mouth!" She was right up in my face now, lips curled into a menacing snarl. I stood my ground. "Who do you think you are, talking to me that way? I brought you into this world and you owe me for that! If you don’t want to follow my rules, then you can get the hell out! See how long you last out there in the real world before you come crawling back!”

“I’d fare a hell of a lot better than you," I spat. "Look at you! You have no job, no income, and your car is barely hanging by a thread! You're always asking your sisters or your boyfriend for money. If I weren't here, you'd be out on the street and no one would care! You need me more than I need you and we both know it!”

True to form, my mother lashed out at me in her usual acidic way, accusing me of being a selfish daughter while threatening to tell the entire family how I refuse to do my duty as her daughter to take care of her. I gritted my teeth as she struck my arms and my back, cursing me out. But I didn’t care. Instead, I pushed her away, rushed into my room, backed a suitcase, and left. Never looked back, even as she chased after me, demanding that I come back.

The bus arrived just as I made it to the stop, and after a smooth boarding I was on my way.

Two hours later I made it to the motel, where I collapsed into the king size bed and cried. The adrenaline had worn off and the exhaustion set in. Sadness crushed my chest. I’d really put my foot in it, standing up for myself. My mother would waste no time punishing me for giving her lip. My so-called extended family would stand there and back her up, relishing the sight of me being put in my place. And when all was said and done, I’d be expected to get up, dust myself off, and go back to serving my mother.

The worst feeling in the world is realizing how alone you are, surrounded by people who see you ground into dust before acknowledging your pain.

Something had to give. I couldn’t keep going like this. My survival depended on me getting the hell away from that woman. But I wasn’t ready to forge my own path quite yet. I didn’t have enough to move out on my own yet. I had enough for the first month’s rent and a security deposit, but I’d be sleeping in a sleeping bag for the foreseeable future. Working all the time and waiting on my mom hand and foot didn’t leave me time for socializing. I only had one real friend, but he had his own life, and I didn’t want to burden him with my problems. My own family would just send me back to my mother.

I was screwed.

The motel was good for the weekend but eventually I’d have to return to deal with my mother’s wrath.

I didn’t want to go back. I wanted to finally be free of my mother. I wanted to stay in Greenview forever.

I wanted to be happy...to be free…

Whatever that meant.