Chapter 5:

Rumble in the Jungle (Part 1)

Are You Real?


Birds chirped in the distance, their cries almost indistinguishable from the commotion going on in the vast green field nearby. Cloistered in the dank, dark space under the bleachers, Ai and Kiro watched two groups of horned silhouettes assemble in opposing, crouched lines. The sparkling cover of the Monsterpedia shifted beneath Kiro’s pencil, catching specks of distant daylight as he wrote.

“Elementary, my dear Kiro,” Ai lectured in a posh tone. “Individually, their level of intelligence may be more meat than head.”

Kiro nodded fervently as he scribbled the mass of helmeted figures in the distance.

“But when you put them together in a team,” Ai continued, “they achieve a sort of hivemind.”


Engrossed in the moment, Kiro’s eyes sparkled as he looked up at her. “Like Megatroid.”

“Yes… Like, Mega-roid.” She brushed hair away from her eyes. “Overall, these musclebound iguanas appear to be well-suited to the football team. End note.”

“They look more like kobolds to me than iguanas,” Kiro replied as he added the horns poking through each helmet.

“Dear Kiro. In the name of science, you shall clarify.”

Satisfied with the last of the cross-hatched scales of his doodle, Kiro tucked his pencil back into his ear. “Kobolds are sorta more humanoid than lizards. They’re more like us.”


“Like us?” She dropped her Sherlockian act. “What do you mean?”

“Every single monster. They eat like us, talk like us. I wouldn’t even be surprised if they think like us too.”

Ai narrowed her eyes. “What are you saying?”

“Well.” Kiro’s eyes wandered out to the lively field before them. “What makes them monsters?”

“What does it matter?”

Kiro came to a complete halt.

What does it matter?

“O-of course it matters!” Kiro’s voice came out louder than intended.

Ai stared at him in shock. Kiro averted his gaze to hide his blush.

“Sorry, it’s just-” Kiro paused. “Isn’t this field study about trying to understand why things are the way they are?”

“In that case…” Ai put a finger to her lips. “I have a theory about our… Monster-Vision. But I’m not sure if you’re going to like it.”

“Monster-Vision?” Kiro set down the Monsterpedia on a bleacher beam. “That’s what we’re calling it?”

“We’ll workshop it,” Ai said. “Anyways. You know the way our eyes process light?”

Kiro thought back to all his visits to Dr. Rhettna’s office.

“Light enters the retina upside down, yadda-yadda,” Kiro said, emulating Dr. Rhettna’s clinical tone. “Then the image… something-something’s in our visual cortex, where it’s flipped the correct way up. Right?”

“Sorta,” Ai said. “Basically, if it wasn’t for that split-second process of our brains, we’d all be seeing the world the way it really is: upside down. It might also explain why we see photos the same way, even though they’re copies of the real thing.”

Kiro frowned. “So our Monster-Vision’s too fast for us to even do anything about it?”

“Or I could be completely wrong.” Ai shrugged.

Kiro groaned and let himself fall backwards onto the grass-

Clang!

At least he would’ve, if it weren’t for the bleacher beams criss-crossing the ground at ankle-level.

“Agh!” Kiro rubbed this latest in a series of fresh bruises. “Why are we even under the bleachers?! We could have just watched the football team from the sidelines!”

“Monster-watching’s more authentic this way.” Ai offered him a hand. “Like we’re real researchers.”

Pulling himself up with her help, Kiro replied, “Real researchers don’t smash their heads into bleachers!”

“Real researchers also don’t shout from their hiding spots.”

Kiro winced, both in pain and defeat. “So what’s next?”

“Well.” Ai raised her fingers to count. “We were in the splash zone for the mermaid swim-meet. Then, we watched Coach Pebbles chase the track team around. And now that we’ve observed the football team in their natural habitat, that means we’re done, right?”

Kiro fiddled with the pencil in his ear. “Hmm.”

Something shifted nearby. After crouching deeper into the shadows, Ai and Kiro turned around. A pair of furry, puffed chests and equally furry, buff legs shuffled by. They were visible between the slits of each step of the bleachers.

“You headin’ to the fight at The Jungle?” asked the buffer figure.

“Isn’t it Wednesday today?” replied the leaner one. “I thought they’re usually on Mondays and Fridays?”

“Special event with the champ, apparently.” The larger one scoffed. “Bet he’s gonna win. Easy way to double up some cash.”

Ai and Kiro spied on the passing duo, then looked back at each other.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Kiro asked.

“Yeah,” Ai replied. “We’re leaving.”

“What?” Kiro’s face twisted. “Didn’t you hear what they were talking about? There’s something going down at The Jungle.”

“It’s because I heard what they were talking about.”

“Then how about I go scope it out for us and come back?”

“Kiro, they were talking about a fight.”

“I know, I know.” Kiro grinned. “But aren’t you kinda curious?”

“Not really, no.”

“Oh, alright. Stay here, I’ll be right back then.” He grabbed the Monsterpedia. “Quick in-and-out, five minutes.”

Ai’s fingers dug into the fabric of her skirt as she watched him slip out of the bleachers.

“Wait,” she said.

Kiro turned around.

“I’ll come with you.” She forced the words out like ripping off a bandaid. “But we’re keeping our distance, ok?”

Kiro nodded. “Of course. We might wanna hurry though, we’re about to lose ‘em.”

“I’m not much of a runner, though…”

Kiro looked as if he swallowed a lemon. “I’ve seen you run. It’s like you’re on two-times speed.”

Lagging behind by at least a corner at all times, Ai and Kiro followed the pair of jocks off the campus of V.I.A.S. High and into the dense greenery of the nearby park. The Jungle, as the students called it, was a maze of winding trails packed with exotic trees, ornate benches, and the occasional discarded bottle. The way the very taste of the air turned thick and sweet. The gentle filtering of the light through the spot-dappled canopy above. It was like a slice of an alien world neighboring the school.

Ai and Kiro shadowed the two jocks up a hill, around a bend, and then down through a tunnel under a stone bridge. At last, the relentless green peeled away. In a clearing all to itself, there was a concrete plaza.

The skate park was laid out like a classic amphitheater. Rows of grind rails and jump-steps radiated upwards and out from a central stage bearing a ten-foot pipe ramp. The seats, so to speak, were covered with gruff-looking students of all species and their color-coordinated neon skateboards. In front of the pipe ramp at the center of the stage, there was a vast, elliptical bowl. As Kiro and Ai slunk over to a nearby bush to take a look, they saw two silhouettes shifting in the pit.

Pacing in place, a Gargoyle and Werewolf donned brightly-colored headgear as they cast mutual snarls. The students in the stands murmured amongst themselves as the opposing beasts slid their massive fists into blood-red gloves. And then, a howl.

Marching out atop the ten-foot pipe ramp, the howler placed her hands on her hips. Her expression was stone cold, even as the crowd all began to cheer her name:

Mad Dog! Mad Dog!

Mad Dog howled again, and the amphitheater fell silent. Then, she spoke.

“Aight, listen up. Y’all know the rules by now. We want a clean one. That means no headbutts, no biting, no gouging. And most of all, no messing with the match.” She paused, pointing to a nondescript part of the crowd. “That means you, Harry.”

The audience let out a series of jeering laughs, a wave of movement passing over as they elbowed each other.

With a bark, Mad Dog brought all eyes back to her.

“If you want to place your bets, Pay-mo them to me now. Otherwise-” She motioned somewhere behind her. “Birch, if you will.”

Atop the other side of the pipe ramp, the muscular, multihorned figure of Birch the Hodag appeared. Trailing behind her were the unmistakable antlers and rabbit ears of Sally, the hooded Jackalope. While the latter slumped into her shoulders and tucked in her ears, the former raised an object into the air.

No way. Is that-

In the Hodag’s hands was a hefty-looking crimson bell. A fire alarm—evidently stolen straight from one of V.I.A.S. High’s walls.

“You should know better by now,” Mad Dog said, “But just in case those sportsballs knocked out the last of your braincells, lemme reiterate the setup. Three rounds, three minutes each. The math is simple. Two enter the pit, one leaves. You ready down there?”

A series of growls echoed out from the pit. Kiro and Ai scrambled for a better angle, their heads forming leafy lumps in the top of the bush. At last, the uninvited pair were able to see the contestants’ torsos. The fighters raised their guards.

Cupping her hands over her mouth, the Jackalope announced, “In the corner by the boob hill, weighing like, two of me. Last time’s champ from V.I.A.S., Stone Face Ollie!

The Gargoyle in the pit crossed his arms to a wave of cheers.

“And in the other corner, the one with the spinny thing. Weighing also like two of me, the new challenger from Ducalton High, Lone Wolf Lou!”

The Werewolf flexed his muscles to an even louder sound-off. He shot a cocky look at his opponent.

“I’m just dyin’ to rip apart that preppy face of yours,” Lone Wolf Lou said, smacking his fist into the palm of his hand.

“Go back to your broke school.” Stone Face Ollie’s jaw tightened. “Your welfare check’s not gonna cover the hospital bills.”

An “Ooh” ripped through the crowd. The Werewolf’s hands froze. Any semblance of a competitive grin had melted right off his face.

“You just gonna take that, Lou?! Give ‘em a black eye!” screamed one of the spectators. “I’ve got good money on you!”

Nodding to Birch, Mad Dog cleared her throat.

“LET’S RUMBLE!”